A/N: so this is what Edward has been up to, i hope you enjoy.
I do not own twilight
Edward's POV
I had just left Bella in the woods, I told her that I did not want her anymore and that I had to leave, something I really did not want to have to do, she was my entire life but it was for her own good that she never saw me again. I ran threw the forest, tearless sobs breaking through my composure. I wanted so badly to just turn around and comfort her. I saw he face when I told her I was leaving, she was so devastated, I thought she was going to fall into a million pieces right there in the forest. Luckily her face froze in terror and I am sure she went catatonic, but I could not go help her. She would soon be over me and finally be able to live a long and full life.
I ran back to her house, Charlie's cruiser was not in the drive way and I wondered if he was out looking for Bella, she would be back soon so I had to hurry. I easily made my way into her bedroom, like I had done so many other times while she was sleeping. I would sneak into her room and watch her sleep; she was so peaceful. I listened to her talk and it was the first time I herd her tell me that she loved me. I was heartbreaking that I would never sneak back in through this window and listen to her sleep.
I went over to her bed and got the picture album that her mom had gotten her for he birthday and I took out the pictures of my family and myself. I also took back the lullaby cd that I had made for her. I did not want to leave any bad memories behind, nothing for her to remember me by, I just wanted to become a bad dream that she was able to overcome. Once I had gathered everything that would remind me of her I took one last look around her room, breathing in her wonderful scent that adorned everything in her room, then I jumped out the window onto the grass. I went into the woods right behind her house and smashed and ripped apart the things I had gathered and spread the remnants on the forest floor.
As I ran back to my house ready to leave with my family, I could feel a whole opening in my heart. If it could beat I would have stopped from the pain I was now consumed with. I had to stop and I fell to the ground in agony, I had never experienced such pain, it felt like a wild animal was inside my heart trying to rip and tear its way to the surface. I rolled on the ground in such antagonizing pain I though I would never be able to stand again, I just wanted to curl into a ball and never move form this spot.
About a minute later I heard Alice coming towards me and I could tell Jasper was with her.
"Edward what I wrong?! I had a vision, you were in so much pain, what happened?"
She said as she rushed towards my side. I did not want to tell her anything, I did not want to talk to anyone, I just wanted my empty existence to cease. I though seriously about going back for her right then and there, but when Alice and Jasper had gotten me into the car, I felt a little better and was able to think more clearly. I remembered the reason I had to leave, to protect and save Bella, I could not ruin that now. I had to leave now I just tried to dull the pain by imagining how much better her life would be without me causing it trouble.
My attempts to dull the gaping hole that had now become a permanent part of my anatomy were distracted by Alice and Jasper's thoughts, which were not cheering me up in the least.
I feel so bad for my brother he just had to leave behind his other half and I am mad we have to leave Bella I love her, I would never be able to leave Jasper, you cannot live without you other half. Jaspers thoughts were very similar. I could feel the happy coming from Jasper but it was not affecting me at all, I swear I saw a tear in his eyes, I could only imagine how my overwhelming sadnessaffecting him.
We got back to our house and everyone was already packed, I could see the sadness on their faces and I knew I was not the only one leaving behind someone they loved, even Rosalie looked sad, but he thoughts revealed that most of her sadness was directed toward the fact that she was leaving her home.
I went straight up to my room; I packed anything I could and everything that reminded me of Bella in any way possible. I knew I was being a hypocrite but, just because I wanted her to forget me, I would never allow myself to forget her. I would live the rest of eternity regretting leaving her and wishing I could once again gaze upon her beauty and inhale her wonderful scent.
I heard Alice call me and I grabbed my bags, leaving my couch and stereo, I could always buy new ones. I had three bags, one for all my cloths and two for my cd collection, I had worked hard on tracking down all those cds and a lot of them reminded me of Bella. I took my bags down stairs to my car, climbed into the driver seat and took off down the driveway following Emmett's jeep and Jaspers Mercedes. Rosalie and Carlisle and Esme followed behind me, we had decided to head up to Alaska to tell them where we would be, then we were going somewhere in northern Wisconsin. We would stay there for a few years and then do what we always do, move on, alone. Well, I would be alone, everybody else would be with the ones they loved.
We got to Alaska in a few hours and we all went out to hunt, the Denali clan included. When we returned to their house we told them of our plan and they wished us luck in our relocation and that we were welcome there anytime we wanted. While we were there we saw Laurent, he apologized for the others actions and told us that he might stop by some time. I started to growl when he said that I might have to se him again, Carlisle told him that it would be best if we never purposefully crossed paths again and he agreed, but he warned us that Victoria was still out there and he had not heard anything form her since James's death. We parted on adequate terms and packed our bags for northern Wisconsin. Of course Alice already had our house picked out, I was a large mansion in the middle of a forest far away from any of our neighbors, it was also perfect for hunting and walking around in the sunlight with out being spotted by humans.
We pulled off the main road onto a dirt one that seemed to go on forever, finally we made it to the front of the house. I was very large, I could hear my family squealing at the sight of it, I guess it was beautiful. I just stared at it unable to appreciate its beauty, ever since I left Bella, nothing was beautiful except her face in my mind. I grabbed my bags out of the trunk and walked through the huge white french doors that led into the foyer. I took my bags upstairs and was fairly excited to see that my room was almost an exact replica of the one I had had in forks, the same black leather sofa, the same black stereo and a rack for my cds. There was one difference about this room, there in the corner was a baby grand piano, I would have been ecstatic to see this beautiful musical instrument if it did not immediately remind me of Bella and the lullaby I had worked so long and hard to perfect for her, I instantly collapsed onto the couch gasping for air and holding my self together with my arms, once again feeling the wild beast in my heart trying to claw its way out. I could not move, the pain was excruciating, I just lay there welcoming the pain, not wanting it to go away as much as it ailed me, it was a reminder of Bella and I needed to be reminded of her, I never wanted to forget her. I heard a soft knock at my door, buy the thoughts I could tell it was Alice but I harshly told her to go away, that I needed to be alone right now and that I didn't want to talk to any one. I could hear her worry and understanding and I was glad when she just left and I could no longer hear he thoughts. I got up slowly and walked over to the stereo and turned on one of my favorite cds Linkin Park as loud as I would go without really disturbing my family, I hit the repeat button and I went back to collapse on the couch. I did not move form that position for about three weeks. I never wanted to move but my family's worries were becoming more and more distracting and I really needed to hunt.
I went down stairs where I found Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie sitting in the living room.
I really hope he will be ok, this is the first any of us has seen him in three weeks. I did not know leaving Bella would be this hard on him, all I can feel form him is despair and regret, I hope he is better soon I miss him and I know Alice is worried.
Emmett offered to go hunting with me but I told him that I would be ok by myself. I walked out of the room, only catching the last thing on Rosalie's mind.
Be Safe
This is how my life went for the next fifty years of so. Even though we had to move several times, my new room always resembled the one I had back in forks. I would spend all my time either collapsed on my couch listening to mind numbing music or hunting. I never went hunting with anyone and hardly ever spoke to anyone else. In fact I had probably not said more than fifty words over the past fifty years. I had distanced my self so far from my family that they had stopped trying to comfort me a long time ago, they just worried all the time and I could tell they were always watching my every move very closely.
One day about fifty three years after we had left, my family and I, well except Emmett and Rosalie who were on their 'honeymoon' somewhere in northern Russia, moved to a house in western Canada, near the boarder and I was sorely reminded of Bella once again. Once when I came out of my room to go hunting Esme had suggested that I go and see how she was doing, I knew she would be near seventy years old now and probably not live in forks anymore, but it was worth the trip. I thanked Esme and told her I would be back soon. I hoped in my Volvo, which was much different that the one I had sixty years ago but it was silver just like that one.
I sped past all the green trees at about ninety miles per hour; I was getting more and more anxious as I approached her house. All I could think about was finding her with a husband and kids, grandkids even. I just hoped with all my nonexistent heart that she was happy and well. I thought of her house, it had been so long but I still knew exactly how to get there.
Once I got to her street, I slowly pulled my car up to the curb in front of her house. I got out of my car and went around to the side of the house so I could look in the kitchen window. I saw a man in the kitchen, he was feeding a baby at the table, I thought that maybe this could be Bella's son or son in-law. I decided to go up to the door and ask him if her knew her.
I knocked on the front door and heard the man approach. I also heard another child running around inside. The door opened and the man asked who I was.
"I know some people who used to live in this house, I wondering if you could tell me anything about the Swans."
"I am sorry, my wife and I just moved into this neighbor hood, I cannot help you." He shut the door and I could hear his thoughts wondering why I would want to know about those people. Then he remembered something, some story he had heard while he was at work at the sheriff's office. He had seen a picture on the wall of the old Chief Swan. He asked one of the other deputies what happened, he said that when his daughter died, Chief Swan lost it.
SHE WAS DEAD! That was the only thought that raced through my mind as I speed towards the local cemetery. I easily found her grave marker. When I saw what it said I sunk down onto the ground in tearless sobs that shook my entire body, I just stared at the grave marker.
Isabella Marie Swan
September 13, 1987- October 4, 2006
Beloved Daughter
You will be missed
The head stone was right, I would always miss her, I had lost my chance with her. I had left her so she could live a long happy life, but she had died only four days after I left, I couldn't help but think that I had caused her life. I had sworn to protect her and always be with her, but I left and she was gone forever. I could not live without her, but I didn't want to die, if I died I would go to hell and I surely would lose her there, if I was at least alive I could kick myself for eternity for leaving her so vulnerable.
I made my way back to my Volvo and sped back to my house. When I got there I found that Jasper and Alice were gone. Esme told me that they just needed a vacation, which I knew translated into Jasper needed to leave because he couldn't handle my emotions any longer. He had a right to leave and I knew Alice would go with him but I really could have used some of his cheering up. I concluded that taking a trip to visit Bella was the worst idea ever. I went straight up to my room and once again, like I had done so many times, collapsed onto my couch in pain, turned on the mind numbing music and let the pain take over. This was once again my routine for the next fifty years, only leaving my room to hunt. I know my family cared and worried but I think they had really just given up on me. They pushed me to the back of my mind and never disturbed me, because if they tried they would be met with angry growls and acidic words. I did nothing over fifty years except think about Bella and wish I could see her one last time. I wondered if the pain would ever dull enough for me to get off my couch and start living again, but I seriously doubted it. I had passed up my one chance at happiness and now I would have to live with that.
so i hope you like what Edward has been doing, i know it is a little dull, but Edward and Bella will meet up soon, how will they both react to seeing eachother after so long. Review if you want to find out! REVIEW!
