(Season 6)
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He was in his office, so she didn't have far to look for him. Before entering the room, she studied Booth's body language. She knew she wasn't very good at picking up facial expressions or body language, but she liked to think Booth was the exception. She had spent thousands of hours in Booth's presence, whether working, eating or having fun together like bowling for jogging. Brennan felt that those hours of being in Booth's presence gave her insight into the man and what she saw was a man who wasn't very happy. Booth's shoulders were slumped more than they normally were. Though he was looking down, preventing her from seeing his whole face, she knew he was sad. His tie was a little loose at the collar and his shirt was slightly wrinkled. She knew he ironed his clothes and tried to look sharp for the job, so a wrinkled shirt was a sign that Booth might have given up on his appearance.
Sad for her friend, Brennan knocked on the door frame and waited for him to look up.
"Bones, what are you doing here?" Booth was surprised to see his partner. He had been avoiding her since the weekend and so far he had managed to elude her attempts at meeting somewhere for lunch or drinks. "Um, come in, can I help you with something?"
A little disturbed at the formal way he was speaking to her, Brennan once more felt a stab of fear run down her back. Maybe he really does hate me. Firming her resolve, she tried to smile and felt that the effort had failed. "I want to talk to you."
Unable to avoid it without being rude, Booth sighed, dropped his pen on his desk and leaned back against his chair. "Sure, come in . . . What's up?"
Determined to have a productive conversation, Brennan closed the door behind her, locked it, moved across the room, sat down on the chair facing Booth's desk and placed her purse on the floor. "I saw Hannah at lunch today."
"Oh." Well the cat was out of the bag now. Once more he had to play the part of a loser in front of his partner. "She wasn't happy with our relationship and decided to move out." Booth's gaze turned towards his fingernails and he stared at them intently. "Just the same old same old."
Brennan heard the bitterness in his voice and she knew that he had taken the break up badly. "I'm sorry, Booth."
"Why?" Booth continued to stare at his fingernails. "It's not like this is new or anything. I mean for some reason, no woman wants what I have to offer and I have no idea why, but . . . but it doesn't matter if I understand why or not. It's just the way it is."
"Booth . . ." Brennan floundered with what to say, but was quickly interrupted.
"No, Bones, just no." Booth suddenly became angry, but he refused to look at his partner. He didn't want to take it out on Brennan, but she had started something and he knew they both had to face the facts. "Just forget about it. I'm not good enough and I get it. My past is shit, my family life is shit, the things I did in the Army . . . I'm just a fucking piece of shit that no one wants. Just never mind. I get it."
Her anger growing with each word he spoke, Brennan finally leaned forward and slapped the palm of her hand on the desk top in front of her causing Booth to look up. "Stop it, Booth. Just stop it." She was still trying to gather her train of thought and the silence from her partner gave her a minute to think. "Why do you assume this is all your fault? Don't you think it's possible that the women you asked to take a chance on you were at fault?"
"Three women, Bones." Booth stared at Brennan and felt his anger cool just as suddenly as it had appeared. "Three women one man. It doesn't take a genius to know that what I'm offering isn't good enough."
"Well I am a genius and I think you're wrong." Brennan knew that her friend was in pain and she wanted to help him. "Rebecca was just starting out in her law career when she became pregnant. You told me yourself that she didn't want to give up her independence and marry a guy in the army . . . your words Booth . . . Hannah is a war correspondent. She too is a very independent woman and doesn't want any permanent ties. You know that. I'm not sure why she even followed you back home. She had told you in Afghanistan that she didn't want to give up her career and maybe she thought she had changed her mind, but she obviously hadn't. Now she's on her way to Iraq. She never wanted family ties with you Booth. You were just an experiment or an effort to make a change in her life. She left because of her needs not because of you."
Booth was listening, but he knew that Brennan was clueless when it came to social situations. He loved her, but he knew her weakness and this was one of them. "And you? You're independent too. You turned me down too."
"Yes I did, but not because I'm independent, Booth." Brennan felt her cheeks turning hot and it embarrassed her that she had to explain herself to Booth. She had hoped after all these years that he understood who she really was, but it was clear he didn't really understand at all. "I told you in front of the Hoover that I don't have your heart. What you are looking for in a mate doesn't exist in me. I'm logical and I don't believe in love."
"Bullshit." Booth glanced at the door and back at his partner. "Just . . . bullshit! You aren't who you think you are. You're compassionate, you feel things. I've seen it. I've held you in my arms while you cried about your mother, about Max abandoning you, about that pool of blood you thought belonged to Russ. Hell, you cried over the death of a dog. Do you really think that someone like that is incapable of love? Your heart muscle is big and it's strong Bones. You just don't see it because you have this image in your head of who you are and it's all wrong. You are so damn wrong." Booth stood up and leaned on his desk. "You're afraid to let anyone love you because you're afraid they'll abandon you some day. You think love has an expiration date, but it doesn't. At least you had parents that loved you. You have a brother that loves you. My parents were . . . well I have Pops and I have Parker so I do have people that love me just like you do. You are loved Bones . . . Max, Russ . . . me."
His words echoed in her head. Max, Russ . . . me. There it was, Booth had opened the door again, a door Brennan had thought was closed forever. "You?"
"Yeah me." Booth sat back down. He was tired, he was very very tired. "Do you think just because you told me 'no' outside the Hoover that I stopped loving you?" He knew it was pointless to continue the conversation, but it was almost a compulsion. He needed to speak what was on his mind, just this once. "I didn't stop loving you, but I knew you didn't want me. What was I supposed do? I couldn't make you change your mind. No one that I know of could do that. I stayed your partner and friend and when you took off for Maluku and I went to Afghanistan I knew . . . I knew Bones that I had to fix this mess and that was by finding someone else. You were afraid of me and you know it. You were afraid that someday I'd ask you again, but you shouldn't have worried about that, that wasn't going to happen. You said no and I knew that meant no and then I met Hannah. I've told you before you can love more than one person . . . I tried to love Hannah, I did, but she didn't want me either and we're back to where we were . . . Bones, we're friends, we're partners and I get that you don't want me as anything else. I understand, okay? Hannah is gone, but I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere, so let's just let this go. You and I are friends, we're partners and we'll do what we we've always done in the past. You won't commit to anyone and I'm going to give up looking. We'll just continue to do our partner thing and that's going to be our lives."
His words were harsh and filled with pain, but she had sat there and listened to every word. Brennan knew that Booth meant every word he'd said and she tried to absorb their meaning. Did he really see her that way? Was it possible that he saw something in her that she didn't see? Booth was the heart person. His gut was rarely wrong. What if he's right and I'm wrong? "What if I told you that I've changed my mind and I don't want to do that?"
Booth's shoulders slumped and he felt like he'd lost everything. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut, but he thought he could make her see at least once that she was wrong, but of course she was never wrong. "Sure, okay." His gaze moved to the Bobble-head Bobby and he tried to accept her decision. "Just give me a paper saying you want our partnership to end. I'll see what I can do to get you a new partner." He was furious with himself and he couldn't blame her. He really was a loser.
"Booth, I think you've misunderstood." At least Brennan hoped that was what was going on. Bravely she chose to believe that her friend was not throwing their partnership away. "I meant that I'm saying yes now. I would like to take a chance after all . . . I'm not sure we'll be able to make this work . . . this relationship you want may be a mistake, but I'm willing to try. I just want you to make me a promise. If this ends badly and let's face it, it probably will, I don't want to lose our friendship. Can you make that promise?"
Stunned at the turn of events, Booth felt frozen in place. "Are you serious?"
Not exactly the words she was looking for, Brennan nodded her head, "As serious as a gas attack . . . no wait a heart attack. Will we still be friends if this fails?"
Almost afraid to say anything just in case it was the wrong thing, Booth cleared his throat. "I promise . . . we will always be friends . . . I . . . you want to give us a chance?"
She knew he was stunned since the conversation had taken a turn he hadn't expected, but she wasn't sure how to make him see that she was serious. Standing she moved over to the blinds on the windows next to the door and pulled them shut. Once she was sure no one could see in to the room, she turned and walked over to where Booth was sitting. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she leaned over and kissed him.
Her kiss warm and passionate, Booth stood up careful not to lose contact with her lips. Their kiss now included groping hands and their breath became ragged as their passion seemed to ignite. A sudden knock on the door and Booth jumped back, falling onto his chair.
Amused, Brennan pulled a tissue from a box on the credenza and handed it to Booth. "Wipe your mouth. Rose isn't your color."
While Booth absently rubbed the lipstick off of his lips, Brennan walked over to the door, unlocked it and opened it. "Yes, Sweets, how may I help you?"
Surprised to see Brennan standing in the doorway, the psychologist held up a folder. "I have a report that Booth wanted."
Taking the folder from him, Brennan smiled. "I'll give it to him." Slowly, she closed the door and locked it again leaving a very puzzled Sweets standing outside. With a faint smile on her face, Brennan handed the folder to Booth then sat down on the chair in front of Booth's desk again. "Are we still partners Booth?"
A sly grin on his face, Booth cocked on eyebrow and leaned on his desk. "Partners, friends . . . lovers . . . all those things if you want them, Bones. All of them."
Leaning over she picked up her purse and placed it on her lap. "I have to go back to work, but if you want to continue what we started, I'll expect to see you at my apartment tonight, Booth."
"I'll be there tonight, Bones." Booth smiled and dropped Sweets folder on the desk. "Believe it, I'll be there and we will finish this."
"Good." Brennan stood up and shouldered her purse. "I look forward to seeing you there."
After she was gone, Booth stared at the empty doorway and tried to figure out what had actually happened. One minute he was sad and miserable and the next minute he'd turned into the happiest guy on earth. Also a little worked up, he knew was leaving work early. She had started something he had every intention of finishing and that was a fact.
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This is the end. Let me know what you think of my story. Thank you.
