Define Love Behind The Scenes
Bonus Three: Her Decision
Negima and its characters belong to Ken Akamatsu. Emily's mother however is my character.
Beatrix insists Emily talk to Celia about their relationship. Coming back from another set up date, their relationship is contemplated. Emily can't believe how amazing Beatrix is for putting up with what she has to do. This correlates around the ending of "When We Met."
"I don't like this anymore."
Emily looked up from her letter from her mother, and looked at the navy haired girl sitting on the bed. They didn't have a class today, and Emily had received a letter from her mother again talking about another arranged date Emily had to see. Unfortunately, even after Beatrix and Emily began dating each other, Emily still couldn't find the drive to tell her mother the truth. It was hard. She was scared.
"Don't like what? Emily asked. Beatrix looked at the floor, thinking.
"The dates. Ojou-sama, I still think you need to tell her. Maybe she'll understand." Beatrix insisted. Emily frowned and put the letter on the desk before standing up. "No. At least…not right now. I just…I can't" She grimaced and rubbed the back of her head, not looking at Beatrix.
Why was she scared? Her mother was an understanding woman, but…her family had a tradition, it had a process. Emily was the eldest daughter, and she had to carry on the family name. This meant…she had to have a husband to have a child with, to carry it on after her own death. Celia might never understand her daughter's relationship with her childhood friend, and her personal servant. She glanced at Beatrix for a second. She might not fully understand the love Emily felt when she thought about what she could have with Beatrix now. Maybe she was jumping to conclusions, but she didn't deny that her stomach twisted into knots when she imagined her mother's reaction.
"Please, won't you just…think about it?" Beatrix asked, looking at her. Emily sighed, shaking her head. "I have already, don't you know? I can't." She could tell by the look on Emily's face. The subject had been dropped. Looking down again, she tried to figure something out. But she just couldn't think of anything. It was hard to talk to Emily sometimes, and Beatrix knew that better than anyone.
Emily kept her head turned away from Beatrix, and an uncomfortable silence fell between them. No, she didn't like this. It was quiet, someone had to say something. Emily was beginning to feel…antsy. Her hand raised and held her other arm, tail twitching a little bit before she spoke up. "I'm sorry." She said quietly. Beatrix shook her head.
"It's okay."
"No, it's not…it's strange, I don't usually feel too scared before going into a mission or a fight, but this thing with my mother…it's a whole different level. It's too much for me to think of. I…can't explain something I barely understand myself."
Beatrix looked at her again, curious as to what she meant by that. "You barely understand?" Emily nodded. "I don't know…I've never really looked at someone and felt what I feel with you before. It's different. I…say I love you, but can I even honestly say that? I don't know…I don't really understand it yet."
Beatrix could see Emily was intentionally speaking carefully. Trying not to upset Beatrix. But she really wasn't. Emily still looked away from her, so she reached out and got a light hold of Emily's sleeve, making her turn her head as Bea lightly pulled her a step closer. Taking her hand, she examined the darker hand for a moment before raising it to her lips and planting a gentle brush of a kiss on Emily's fingers. "It's okay. It's okay if you don't know just how you feel yet. I don't expect you to or anything." She started. Emily stared at her as she spoke, blushing faintly as Beatrix busied herself with touching her hand. "Just know that no matter what it is you feel for me, I know for a fact that I love you. I'm okay with whatever you decide, because it won't change anything either way. I'll remain by your side no matter what."
Emily let out a weak chuckle, smirking a bit. "God, you're so corny." She commented. Beatrix returned with a faint smile and a nod. Yes, she could be. "Don't you need to get ready for your date then?"
Emily sighed as Beatrix let her hand go. "I do…" She muttered. She leaned down to Beatrix and their lips met in a brief kiss, before Emily stood up and went to look through her wardrobe. "Thank you though…for being such an understanding person." She said quietly. Beatrix nodded, shutting her eyes. Understanding…right.
It was late evening when Emily returned. She slowly opened her door, and peeked into the room. Beatrix was asleep on her bed. She must have come in here a couple hours ago thinking Emily would be back earlier. She frowned. Shutting the door quietly, she still had the doorknob in her hands behind her back when Beatrix opened her eyes, and slowly pushed herself into a sitting position to see who had come in. "Emily. You…it's late." She said, looking at the clock and then back at Emily. Emily nodded.
"I know…Sorry. It was my date." Emily admitted, letting go of the doorknob and walking further into the room, until eventually she took a seat next to Beatrix. The other girl helped remove her jacket and put it aside, letting Emily continue. "He was a little ridiculous. Like the rest of them, I suppose."
"What happened?"
"Ah, he just did the usual. Took me out to dinner, insisted we go do something else together…so we went to see a show. He refused to stop trying to hold my hand, which was just annoying." Emily frowned and scratched her head. There was something else too. Beatrix kept quiet until Emily decided to mention it. "He kissed me. Well, he sort of snuck it in, but still…to add to the trouble he tried to cop a damned feel. I'm pretty sure I hit him so hard he'll feel it for three more days." She muttered, rubbing her hand over her face with a sigh. Beatrix reached over and rubbed Emily's back with her hand.
"Are you all right?" She asked, genuinely concerned. Emily nodded. "I'm fine, really. Just a little irritated. Maybe flustered. I really didn't see it coming, for some reason."
It got a bit quiet. Emily blinked, and turned her head to Beatrix, to find her smiling a little. When she was caught, Beatrix began to lightly chuckle, shaking her head. Emily blushed, surprised. "W-what is so funny?"
Beatrix raised a hand over her mouth and let the light laughter die down before speaking. "I-I'm sorry, Ojou-sama. It's just…I'm surprised. Before I would have been worried. I would have been…jealous. But, I don't feel that way anymore. It's…odd." She admitted, with her hand over Emily's hand. Her gaze moved up from the hand to Emily's face to meet the beastgirl's red eyes. Emily spoke up finally. "Is that a good thing?"
Beatrix nodded. "I think it is. I used to constantly worry that I was going to lose you to one of the suitors. Jealousy is an ugly color on anyone, but I confess that I fell victim to it. But now…it's as if I feel there's no reason to worry."
"You do? So, what, you feel like I'm not going to stray off with one of these boys someday?"
"You tell me, Ojou-sama."
The blond stopped. Staring at Beatrix, she let the question sink in for a second. "You're still more special to me." She finally said, nodding. There was no way to deny it, she could maybe like one of those boys, but they'd never have anything over Beatrix. She…was Emily about to think she loved her again? Did she? Why was that so hard to figure out for her? Emily found herself groaning suddenly, her fingers to her forehead. "Relationships are so frustrating to understand." Despite her scowl, she started to laugh quietly. She glanced at Beatrix, and they both shared a quiet laugh over it. No matter what it was she felt, she liked this. Beatrix made her feel comfortable in a way no other person could. Brought things out of her, even. She was an overly private person, yet Beatrix could know anything about her, pretty much, and Emily trusted her with it.
Emily reached for Beatrix and pulled her into a hug. "Thanks though. For staying and waiting for me to come back." Beatrix didn't answer. Not that she needed to. But she wasn't about to leave the room so Emily could come back and wonder where she was, right? Besides, she had to be there to undo the damage those boys tried to cause. They didn't seem to care at all about what went on in Emily's head. The truth was that the overly-confident girl had more running through that mind than she liked to admit to anyone. Sometimes it surprised Beatrix too, really. She looked at Emily, reaching up and brushing some hair to the side before softly kissing her forehead. Emily sighed, completely comfortable where she was right now. "You really do love me, to be putting up with my crap." Emily muttered while fidgeting with the sleeve of Bea's uniform. Beatrix moved her arm, taking the hand in her own. "I don't really look at it that way." She responded before kissing Emily.
Emily had her flaws, but Beatrix wasn't letting those flaws get in the way. She'd be a fool if she did, right? The partial silence fell in the room as they just kissed, Beatrix tasting what seemed to be a slightly unfamiliar flavor of tea from Emily's kiss. It made her wonder a little bit about what all Emily and her date did and where they went, but immediately she let it go. She didn't need to think about that. She didn't want to. In fact, she was willing to think of anything else except that, so she kept herself distracted instead, noting the subtle flinch from Emily when her hand rested on the girl's stomach. Her slightly curled fingers straightened out before slipping under Emily's white blouse. Beatrix's fingers behaved curiously, tracing over Emily's skin and tickling her a little bit. Emily closed an eye and blushed, turning her head a bit when Beatrix leaned in and planted a brief kiss on her neck. Her tail twitched and settled again, her hand resting behind her on the bed. She wasn't sure what to do with this. And she had no idea how Beatrix seemed more certain than she was at the moment. She was almost absolutely sure that neither of them had ever gotten this intimate with another person.
With a small shift of Beatrix's weight, and enough movement, Emily found herself momentarily overtaken by Beatrix and she slipped onto her back. Bea's arms trapped her on either side before the human girl resumed her kisses across Emily's jaw line, and right under her ear. Emily's face turned another shade of red, brief tingling sensations left behind each kiss that gave her lights chills. The way they saw it…Beatrix would leave the dorm room for the night, nothing would happen, and tomorrow would go just as their days usually did. Or, Beatrix would stay the night, this and something more would happen, and there would be no telling how tomorrow would unfold.
Wasn't it obvious which one they were going to choose? Emily found it hard to deny Beatrix. Not with the gentle way she was kissing her, and the sparks she felt when Beatrix's hand ghosted underneath her shirt. There was no fight when they shed clothes. Beatrix wrapped Emily in her arms and kissed her with passion she'd never felt compelled to show before in her life. Driven by fire and emotion she usually hid, Beatrix left Emily breathless as she took control of the situation. As often as Emily was in command of things normally, she wasn't fighting Beatrix.
Neither of them said another word. The only sounds that filled Emily's ears were their movements, and perhaps the occasional sounds outside of the dark room. Beatrix's fingers continued their curious dance over Emily's body. Occasionally Beatrix switched out kisses on Emily's lips for kisses over the skin of her neck and collar bone. It was almost all too much for Emily's reeling mind to keep up with. She was vaguely aware of the small noises she heard, that were actually coming from her. She blushed, her hands on the soft skin of her lover as she settled on only thinking of the feelings she got from Bea's kisses and the way she touched her. Beatrix's gentle actions coaxed new feelings and sounds from Emily that neither of them could say they'd experienced before. The beastgirl's fingers curled against Beatrix's skin and her body arched with unfamiliar pleasure. She held Beatrix closer to her flushed body, the girl's name escaping from her lips quietly. For a few moments she almost felt frightened enough at the overwhelming feelings to tell Beatrix to stop, but that wasn't happening. There was a delightful rush before things seemed to settle down.
Emily continued to hold on to Beatrix comfortably, merely taking in the fact that Beatrix was here, and with her. There wasn't as much embarrassment at looking back at what they had just done, as there was a feeling that she felt…closer to the human girl than before, and more sure of her feelings. Could she keep seeing these other men when she always had such a devotion waiting for her afterwards? She could, but it wouldn't sit right with her. It didn't already. She placed a small kiss on Beatrix's jaw, and she easily fell into a comforting night of sleep with her lover.
