rebertocrawford01, thank you for the review! I'm gad you are enjoying the FanFiction so far and that it's keeping you at the edge of your seat. Now I just have to keep the suspense going.
wchavarria, I know right T_T for days! I think Shikamaru will come around he is a very considerate person- even if that brain of his gets him into trouble. And fingers crossed for Temari and the family.
Nasbaa, aww yea, writing this chapter I was like…crap I can't do this! I love these characters way too much, and to see their vulnerabilities is like ughhhh nooooo! And yea after learning the truth Shikamaru going t do a lot of reflecting- they both are really. Anyways keep enjoying the story!
MikiLovesShikaTema, Yes finally he knows! But now it like….now what what will Shikamaru do?! I mean Temari one of the kings in his shogi game. He can't just let anything about to his king in the game.
Juliette, thanks for the review! I was really trying to get this chapter right on the money if I could lol
Ps see if you can spot the Shikaku quote! It's tweaked a little bit but I thought it be nice to add it in !
Chapter Eight
Shikamaru
I walked back in the darkness, alone in the storm. The coldness of the weather and the chaos of the storm reflected perfectly the turmoil happening inside of me. Out of all the times I felt low in my life….from not being able to save Asuma in battle, or my father in the war. This was by far the lowest I have ever felt in my life. The pain in my chest hurts tenfolds over. I knew this gnawing feeling would never go away.
For years I carried the weight of their deaths on my shoulders, especially Asumas...this…this was rock bottom for me. And I didn't think I could sink any lower at time when I thought about them, but I just did. As I walked down the road alone, I felt utterly useless. To think my genius brain is the one that got us here…dealing with my own insecurity as a man, father and husband I now felt like I truly let Temari down. She didn't even feel like she could come to me for this. She carried all the weight alone on her shoulders…I know how that feels. I would Carry that weight for her in the heartbeat, so she wouldn't have to carry it alone. Dammit! I'd trade places with her if thst were possible.
But what did I do as a husband who is suppose to protect and uplift his wife? I drove her to her breaking point! And to think I was coming at her over something so trivial, when she was dealing with so much on her own. How could I not have noticed sooner…I could have-should have asked about how her mission went, what happened. My gut was right all along I was just too busy to really notice or care...
Instead I just went to work like I normally do, like everything was fine, and it wasn't. I knew something was off the first night-but I did nothing, and listened to her -when I should have done more. Temari's not the type to ask for help. Even if she needs it…she's so stubborn. But I can't even say that, Temari's the most selfless person I know. I know her not telling me what happened wasn't to keep her from hurting more... but me. God I just wished she would have told me- And even she couldn't…fuck…I should have been there until she felt like she could! Instead of leaving her the next day like everything was normal.
It was times like this when I needed my father or Asuma the most to help me get my shit together. To see what's the right path I should take, and in truth ever since their deaths it's been Temari who's been the one helping me and guiding me when I'm lost. And now I don't have her. Fuck... I feel lousy. No not lousy- trash and I can't even say that. Because the saying is 'one mans trashs is another mans treasure.' Then I'm straight garbage then, no doubt about that.
The roaring of thunder and lighting played in the background behind. Boy the devils was having his fun, wasn't he.
By the time I knew it I was at Choji residents, and it was as if he had been waiting for me the whole time. He stepped right outside his door when I came down his walkway, like he had already known. I guess that's just how close we are. "Shikamaru?" His wide umbrella shielding him from the storm. " Shikamaru? I thought you were staying with Temari?"I didn't reply to his question, I just stood there drowning from the inside. "Get inside man this storm is crazy out here!"
"How's Shikadai?" My voice was barely above a whisper. If Chōji hadn't kneed in on my lips moving he probably wouldn't have known I was even saying anything. He soon came over to me, seeing how I refused to move another inch.
"He's doing better, he's In the house with ChoCho they were watching some tv but I think he's sleep now." Good, it was already late, and I knew if everything, Temari would still want him sleep, getting ready for school. But besides that I hoped sleeping would give me more peace of mind "Listen he can stay with me tonight."
"Thanks Choji..."
"You can stay too if you need. You looked drained and it's already late. There is an extra couch you and Shikadai can share."
"Thanks but, I'm going to head home." I said putting my hands down my soaked pants pockets. I was freezing now, and a cold from this storm - you could easily catch your death from. But I didn't care at this point. I already felt cold on my insides now.
"I thought Sakura told you not to do that?" I looked at him, how did he know. "She called." I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"…women." Always checking up on us making sure we don't stray.
"Yea, but you know what they say, can't live with them and you can't live without them. She's our friend." Ugh I know that , but right now the last thing I wanted to do was be around anyone. " Hey Shikamaru everything okay, right ? I ask because You just called so suddenly out of nowhere saying something was wrong."
"Temari she…she had a panic attack." I found myself saying, not knowing why. I think telling him was just another way for me to realize it myself. To actually grasps the information for what it was. "It was because we were arguing and um…it became too much for her."
"I'm sorry to hear man, will she be okay?"
"Yea..." maybe if I said this I wouldn't be lying to him or myself. But Chōji knew better than to just trust my shaky words.
" Shikamaru you two always argue, all the time. What made this time different?" I saw his brows furrow together. I exhaled a long sigh, what he said was true, we do have our arguments -all the time. That was just our relationship dynamic. So it made sense for Chōji to be somewhat confused about the matter. What was so different about this one that it made her go into a panic attack.
" Temari was…hurt on her mission, and my petty arguing triggered her."
"Hurt? she's okay right, I mean this is Temari we're taking about here. Suna kick ass princess." As much as I wanted to agree with him, how much I wanted to say it out loud to relieve myself. I couldn't.
"…no…not this time…"
"Huh what do you mean?" deep down I didn't want to say it. I didn't want the issue to surface for her protection.
I think that that is when it really hit me, Temari was like a super women. She as MY super women. She had no fears no limitations. She was my backbone my ribs, well my whole structural frame when I can tumbling down. I couldn't picture her any other way. 'Super Temari to the recuse to save my ass as usual' wether it was from work, a pinch I had gotten myself in or just even stress. She was always there to set me straight no matter what.
Like she knew when it was time for her to show up, she'd light a fire under my ass to get me serious. She's always been what I needed...
But she's not some super hero…she has fears and limitations , some that I may not even know of. But she still has them. she's always strong…no matter what…but now. She's hurt…and broken…and I fear that I won't be enough for her-hell apparently I can't even be there for her when she needed me most!
"…i…i…should have stopped her, I should have told her no…t-that I didn't want her going out on that mission alone…God dammit!" I punched the fence that was behind me. I felt Choji hand grab my arm. But I jerked away from him…and took a few steps back.
"Shikamaru, woah calm down!" That was what his voice told me, but the voice inside my head was telling me other wise and driving me crazy…I couldn't help but picture it. What was happening to her! I felt like I could see it and hear it happening before me right now! As if she was getting attacked right in front of me! And I'm just standing there doing nothing!
"I just didn't want to be bothered with it…so I let her go! she'd be back, I had no worries- fuck I'm so stupid ! So useless!" I hit the fence again, this time the post moved some as my fist collided with it.
"Shikamaru you're not useless, I'm sure what happened will be okay and-"
"That bastard hurt her Choji! He took her from me!!" This time my fist went threw the post, and wood went flying. Choji who had stepped away from me to give me some space came rushing over to me. by this time I was already on my knees. I was punching my bloody hand against the ground, hoping that some how some way -I'd hit that son of a bitch! I felt My other hand clutched my heart... it felt like it was getting ripped from my body. It was beating so fast. " t-Temari needed me! And I wasn't there!..." Choji then got to my level, and held my shoulders tight, trying to speak good words to me, but I wasn't having them- I didn't deserve them. He should have been telling me what a shitty husband I am to her, not telling me everything will be alright….everything won't be alright!
"Look Shikamaru everything will be okay-"
"DON'T TELL ME THAT! Everything won't be okay because she's not okay! And she's not okay because of me! I let her down! I failed her! She was getting raped and her husband wasn't there to protect her!!"
That's when he knew how serious this ordeal was. And i…I had lost it. some man I was, breaking down and crying-doing nothing while my wife in the hospital and her rapist is out walking the streets, care free! Man I wanted to dead ! I felt like I had already died...
"Shikamaru I..."
"I what!?" I shouted cutting him off. "What the hell can you possibly say to me what will fix this!!" He paused for a moment. Chōji was my best friend and I never lost my temper with him. But right now he was the only thing standing in between me and doing something reckless.
"Shikamaru you will survive this…" I heard him say.
"W-what…how can you say that Choji! How can you-"
"I'm saying it because you'll do it for her! You'll survive this and be strong for her, like she'll need you to!!" But I didn't think I could, I don't think I can... I'm not strong enough to handle something like this... there was no way.
"..but I- "
"You don't need me to explain this! you're way smarter then me Shikamaru! You WILL do what you have to do for her! PERIOD. And that's all there is to it. I'm not saying it will make it easy or hell even fix the situation! but this is something that needs to be done so you both can bare what it happening together! " his words hit me hard...In all our years of friendship, Choji has never been the one to get me straight over anything, but now… he did exactly that. " You cry and let it out now, dammit you can even take it out on me even! because as soon as you see her tomorrow you're her rock now. She will have to doubt and fear NOTHING , because you'll be there every step of the way to reassure her!" I held on to Choji arms tight for some moments as I got my footing slowly . " And you won't doubt yourself about it either, understood?" I nodded my head, wiping the water from my face. "Good."
"Dad..." He and I turned to see Shikadai standing on the steps, concern was all in his eyes. "Dad!!" He rushed over to me, and I hugged him tight my tears falling on his small shoulders. I felt Chojis hand on my back and I looked up at him.
"…i…I got this Choji…thanks you." He nodded and walked back in his house. I closed my eyes, and breathed for a moment, Gathering myself. I could feel added wetness against my shoulder where Shikadai head was. Be strong. "Shikadai?" I pulled him away from me so I could see his face, he was wiping the tears away from his eyes. but they just kept swelling back with water. And standing out in the rain didn't help the matter either. Not to mention my hand was still bleeding out. I took his hand and we both ran to the porch.
"Dad your hand..." He voiced, eyes not leaving my hand.
"It's fine." Before I could stop him, Shikadai was already heading back into the house. I could hear him asking Chōji for a medical kit.
He soon came back and wrapped my hand. I was surprised he knew how to do it. And he was rather good st it too. " I'm almost done."
"...you learn this at the Academy?" I found myself saying trying to break the awkward silence between me and my son.
"No, mom taught me." Oh...I didn't say much after that until he was finished wrapping my hand. Geeze even Shikadai was taking care of me...
"Shikadai...I'm sorry." I voiced looking across to him. It felt odd at first like the roles were reversed. But I needed to explain myself to him. the kid is smart, and he knows more than he should sometimes, but he's still a child.
And right now he's a broken one at that...
"Why are you telling me this? shouldn't you be the one telling mom this..." I could see the teal in his eye sparkle just like his mom. And those teal eyes told me everything. And yes he was still mad at me, and I'm glad. He's holding me responsible.
"I am son as soon as I see her tomorrow. But I have to tell you first."
"Why... saying sorry doesn't change anything or what happened..."
"No it doesn't, but it's the start." Shikadai didn't look at me. His eyes were focused solely on his twiddling thumbs as he tried to distract himself. " I messed up son. I put you and your mother in an uncomfortable position and I'm apologizing for that. I let my emotions control my judgment and I did things as a man I'm not proud of. But I vow to you I will fix this, okay." It took me a moment to hear his crying sobs over the pouring rain. "Why are you crying Shikadai?"
"Be-because something wrong w-with mom..." He Voiced between tears.
"Nothing's wrong with mom."
"ye-yes there is don't lie to me dad ! I saw you- and her ... and the blood on your hand!" Shit, I sucked my teeth thinking. I can't lie to him, the kids no fool and he saw everything.
" you're right I shoudn't lie to you. You were there and you say everything..." he nodded slowly.
"I'm...I'm sorry I froze when you needed me dad... I didn't mean too... I just saw mom and-" I placed a hand on my sons shaking shoulder.
"It's okay son, that was a lot for you... and it was a lot for me to ask of you. And I'm sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn't have and that was wrong of me."
"Mom would be disappointed...How am I suppose to be a great ninja if I'm too scared to help my family..."
"Well you're my son so don't expect it to happen over night kid." Despite my words he still seemed down and I don't know why but I couldn't figure what to say to help him. His mother was always better at that than I was.
"...I saw mom hit you dad..." Hearing him say this I froze "...w. why did mom hit you?" God what do I say to this? How can I explain this to him, he's still a boy. Think Shikamaru think... I took a deep breath.
"Some stuff has happened between your mother and I. Even as adults we both get upset at times and our emotions take over. we both did things we weren't proud of. What your mother did, she didn't mean and you have my word for that."
" I thought adults handled their arguments with words not fist..."
"Yes well as you can see that doesn't always work out does it. Even when you try at times."
"... Moms scary when's she mad...do you think mom would ever hit me if I made her mad like you did?" This kid...
"Absolutely not Shikadai, you're everything to her. And she would never hurt you, no matter how hard her tough love is."
"But she loves you right dad? And she hurt you..."
"Hmp, that hit wasn't to hurt me son it was to wake me up. Women have a way of doing that to you and you'll understand when you're older."
"I guess..."
I thought for a moment, what could I tell him? No, There was no way I was going to tell him the truth, he was too young. But then again he's too smart and can catch a lie when its being told. But he needed to know everything was still going to be alright. Our family wasn't broken.
"What does you're mother always call me?" Shikadai thought for a moment, after all she had a handful of names that she called me.
"An idiot?…"
"That's right, and what are husbands usually?"
"Idiots?..."
"And this idiot just made your mom upset."
"So upset you made mom go to the hospital"
"Your fathers a BIG idiot Shikadai… but I'm a lucky idiot to have you, and your mom. So this big idiots going to fix everything and make it better, alright?"
"So...no divorce?" I could see a small light shine in his eye when he said this.
"What?"
"It's just…I hear sometimes parents get divorced when they fight a lot… and you and mom had a really bad fight."
"I see… you think your mom and I fight a lot?" He nodded his head slowly. "Well one thing for sure is that your mother and I will never get a divorce. Yes we do fight sometime and it may seem like a lot to you or others. But we love each other too much. Even if we argue."
"So you can love each other and still argue?" I nodded my head.
"Just because we don't see eye to eye doesn't mean our hearts aren't on the same page."
"So when she sometimes throws things as at, and hit up upside the head your still on the same page?" Hehe, I guess I might have walked myself into that one.
"Exactly, your mother probably a few pages ahead and is just trying to make me catch up." I could see his features on his face suddenly start to change, good. At least I had him thinking about it.
"Seems like trouble."
"It's not trouble son, believe me. Your mom makes me step up. A lot... she knows I get the kick."
" okay…s-So no divorce?"
"No son."
"Good..." I not only heard the relief in his voice I saw it in his body too.
"I'm afraid not, you're stuck with your mother and I."
"Ha…" I looked at my son, his physical features were like mine, but his true character was Temari's. I couldn't tell at first but now I can see it as clear as day. He hides it with his laziness, but he's far outgoing and daring than I ever was. And that caring nature of his is just a reflection of his mother.
"You remember what I call you?"
"Yea, your little king."
"Yes… you and your mother are my kings in this game..and that means as a player my job is to protect and defend you two by any means."
"Even if it's a drag?"
"You and your mother will never be a drag to me son."
"Hah okay."
"Now I want you to go inside and head to bed, because your mother would murder me if you aren't up and ready for school tomorrow."
"Awww man... I still have to go to school."
"Afraid so."
"But…mom won't know, I could stay with you and help around the house?"
"That sounds like a death wish to me."
"Ugh you're right…but I suppose it's for the best. And beside it suite you and mom better when you're lovey dovey."
"Ha Yea, it feels better too son."
"Hey dad...if it's okay with you could I see mom tomorrow after school?"
"Of course you can Shikadai."
"And maybe you could pick me up early?"
"Hmp now you're starting to sound like me... sure I can do that. How's 2:30 sound."
"Great dad thanks ." I took Shikadai by the shoulder and we both walked back inside.
Temari
My head…it felt so light and airy, but my eyes…they felt so heavy. It took me a moment to open my eyes to get them adjusted to the light. And as my vision cleared I realized I wasn't home anymore…I was…where was I? I turned my head to see a giant window showing nothing but darkness from the outside.. suddenly in an instant it all came back to to. The screaming and fighting…him finding out the truth.
I suddenly shot up from my sleeping position. As soon as I did this I felt a strong painful tug come from my right arm…I had tubes…all in my hairs and wrist. W-what the hell… desperate I started tugging at the plastic wire trying to free myself. Unfortunately for me that was the wrong move. As soon as the cabled snapped a buzzer went off in my room.
"No…damnit!-" the door had opened with in seconds and a rush of medical ninja came storming in, great. "I'm ….I'm sorry I didn't mean-"I spoke to the one doctor in the room who I knew very well.
"It's fine Temari really, I can't say you didn't startle us." After checking my vitals again and repairing the plastic tube back in my forearm the other two doctors left, leaving me and Sakura." Hey you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost Temari."
"….i wish was that it ." She raised a brow to my comment so I figured I should explain. "The fight Shikamaru and I had earlier…it came back just a while ago. I don't know I suddenly remembered it and i started freaking out…I'm sorry for causing all that trouble."
"Oh…" the pink haired ninja then went and sat on the edge of my bed. I was afraid to ask but I needed to know.
"He's not here…is he?"
"No, I sent him home so he could be with Shikadai. But I know he'll be here first thing in the morning." I nodded my head slowly. Well….i guess that was better then what I thought at first, of him just…leaving me. But I wouldn't blame him if he suddenly got fed up with me and just left me here... I twiddled my thumbs together as the images of my husband face came to my mind. Now I cant't picture anything else but the image of him being so hurt… by me. "Temari…?"
I didn't even realize I was crying, my face was so numb….my body was so numb. I guess it didn't register to me that my eyes were leaking like a facet.
"I messed up everything…"
"Don't say that, you've just been though a lot and-"
"Please Sakura you weren't there! you didn't see the hurt in his eyes! My sons eyes!...i ruined everything…. My family... my marriage! I hurt them both beyond repair… He'll want nothing to do with me anymore! He hates me…"
"Shikamaru nor Shikadai hate you Temari-"
"Sakura he found out I tried to get the abortion behind his back!" My hands instantly went to the sides of my head, as I felt a huge throbbing sensation overwhelm me. God... I couldn't even imagine what was going though Shikamaru head when he found out… " His mother saw me leave the clinic….she saw me…and called him. Hell despite him knowing that way, the whole clan probably knows now! He's the Nara clan leader…assistant to the god damn Hokage! and there's probably news of his wife going behind his back getting an abortion!!" I collapsed back into the bed, my spine felt tingly again. "…i….I've hurt….e-everyone.." I hope if I fall unconscious I stay that way forever!
"Temari clam down, you'll work yourself up again-"
"I don't care! If something bad happens to me I deserve it!" I threw my pillow at her. I was just over everything and I wanted to be left alone! I felt Sakura hand hold mine, and I knew she wouldn't be leaving my side. But I wanted her too….i wanted her to be just as disgusted with me as I was of myself! My sheets were soaked with my tears, " why…why did this have to happen…" I've never been the person to cry life was unfair and how I was dealt the bad apple, despite how hard my life was…I knew others had it worse so I couldn't complain. But now…now all thats changed! What did I do to make this happen to me…why could've this have happened to someone else! And I hate myself for wishing this on someone else. Knowing I wouldn't want this to happen to anyone, god forbid. But... this WAS not fair! My body curled up into a tight ball. I was a crying mess…I just wanted everything to be over.
"It'll be okay Temari…it won't be easy but it'll be okay."
"It won't be if Shikamarus not with me…n-nothing will be okay."
"He is with you Temari-"
"How?!...w-w…why would he want to p-put up with me…after all I've done to him…"
"Because he loves you Temari and he's not going to let this get in between you two! Heck if I wasn't the one to tell him to go and be with Shikadai he'd be right here right now! Temari, he knows what happened and he can understand why you did the things you did."
"…I could have done something else something better…"
"You did what you thought was best, that's all you can do."…I guess… "look you need to get some rest, and get some sleep for your sake. Okay."
"…okay…" I could feel her start to step back from me to give me some space…the space that I wanted. Only thing now is...my hand would not let go of hers. It was like it had a mind of its own and in better terms it was non-verbally telling Sakura what I needed when I couldn't…
"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, does that sounds good to you."
"…yea…thank you Sakura."
I'm not exactly sure when my body succumbed to sleep, a sleep my body longed for-but when it did it did. My ears were greeted by the birds singing outside of my window. Was it morning already? Did I sleep though the night…completely?
My eyes opened slowly. My mind goin back to try question before…I wasn't in and out of sleep or nightmares last night . I actually slept though the remainder of the night. I couldn't explain how good that felt...to finally be able sleep- to have the power to sleep.
I felt so different now…like I was a whole different women. Like a weight had been taken on my shoulders, was sleep all I needed? No…it had to be more than that. "Huh?" As I laid there in bed, I felt something on my leg. A hand was under my covers rubbing me….for a nano second I panic and thought…what if it was him. I hated that my brain automatically thought that way now but I feared him...what if he found me…and came back. But I quickly threw that notion out my head. That could never happen! I was in the hospital for crying out loud.
No one suspicious gets passed the front desk. But… The front desk wouldn't know that….how could they? They would probably let him right in! After all he could lie and say something like…like he knows me….and then they'd let him in!…and then he'd be alone with me again… he could…no no no!
I quickly closed my eyes and tried to gather myself. I just had to stay focus…I took three slow breaths, focusing on the hand touching my leg. As my trembling hands grabbed my covers for support I weighted my options…I prayed to God and everything good that it wasn't him. Please don't be him.
Then…I started to notice the pattern in which my leg was being rubbed, one circle to the right, then two to the left, then two to the right and one circle to the left… then I also noticed the hand holding my shin was large…but warm... and the sensation my body felt when touched like this…I didn't feel endangered, in fact it was the total opposite. I knew exactly who it was.
I rose my upper body slowly to see Shikamaru at the end of my bed. one hand holding his sleeping head and the other hand holding me, his thumb making circle on my leg. He had covers swapped around him…how long had be been there? Did he come late last night…or this morning ? Was he still mad at me? No he couldn't be if he's here right? Suddenly I saw Shikamaru stir like he could hear the back and forth conversation I was having in my head.
When his eyes opened they met with mine almost instantly . I gripped the covers tighter I didn't know what to expect. A happy or pissed Shikamaru, if anything I knew I had to brace for some kind of impact.
"…Ma-mari…" he had embraced me before I had a second to even blink. I stood there frozen in shock for a moment. "Thank God you're okay…" his grip tighten on me with each passing second. I could hear his teeth grinding inside his mouth as his head buried itself inside the crook of my neck. I quickly found myself embracing him just as tight. I didn't want this feeling to go away ever. It felt so right.
"..I'm so sorry…i'm so sorry for everything…" my voice was barely a whisper. Yet he heard everything I said.
"It's okay, that's doesn't matter to me Tem." But it should… and as much as I didn't want to do it, I pulled away from him, I could see my tears wanting to fall in the reflection of his eyes.
"But it does to me…you….you have to know I didn't mean for any of this to happen…i..i just." Dammit…now look who's the crybaby now, I can hardly get a word out. " I wa…want you to know I'm sorry…and that I tried my best…I tried so hard but i…" Get a grip Temari! Find your voice and tell him everything that's been bottled up! That's been weighting you down!
Now that he knows, I can be free- I'm free to tell him everything...so after a lot of struggling, and some gentle words from my husband I did… I did tell him. Finally, and he listened to everything I had to say.
After I had let all my bottled truths out - he was the only thing holding me up and keeping me together…I hated it, I hated crying I hated being so vulnerable in someone else arms. After a moment of stillness between us, Shikamaru connected our foreheads. Instantly I felt all the things he was thinking in his head, like it was transferring over to me. Our own kind of mind telepathy.
"…Temari…" he voiced while he wiped away a tear, and kissed my forehead. I could tell he wanted to say much more but he just couldn't find a way to start. So I'll start for him.
"…I let you down Shikamaru …" I found myself saying...confessing, I was speaking so low I know my husband couldn't hear me. I part of me didn't want him to hear me, to hear my truth. But his ears caught everything and a puzzled look came to his face.
"What?"
" I let you down."
"You think you let me down?"
"I know I did Shikamaru, that's what my heart is telling me!…..i..i. Betrayed you, what happened…it disgusts me- I disgusts me!" Hot water ran down my cheeks as I held his hand tight, I felt like I had been feeling this way for so long.Shikamaru has always been good to me…and I let another man have something of me I vowed to only share with my husband -I could throw up just thinking about it "…how can you even look at me the same? I can't look at myself the same…"
"But you are the same..."
"No I'm not...I don't feel the same anymore." I found myself telling him, he looked at me with great concern. Ugh why was this so hard? I knew how I felt but I still couldn't get the words out of my brain that made any kind of sense!
"I think I know what you mean... but I'd rather you tell me" did he know what I mean? How could he ?
"I…I don't feel like the old Temari you knew. I use to feel so secure and independent with myself. like I could handle anything, I didn't need help…i…I wasn't one to cry for anything. Nothing nor Nobody big or small scared me.….but now.I don't have that confidence and strength in myself... I can't trust myself anymore ! I Just have fears ...and insecurities that I can't get over...like...what if it happens again..." And I think that was when it really hit for me, saying it to myself. how I really felt…out loud, and to Shikamaru. I thought it would hurt less if I let it out but…..I'm not so sure. I still feel like curling up into a ball and crying.
"Look at me Temari." I closed my eyes even tighter, after he said this. I couldn't look at him, I didn't deserve to. "Temari, this will NEVER happen to you again. I give you my life on that promise..." gentle hands cupped my face and I felt my eyes open slowly as my head was lifted up. " ...Don't you dare for one second think that's you've let me down... the thought of that is simply impossible. And for you to even think that hurts me."
"...but I have... how can I be there for you ... help you or our son... if I can't even help myself!" Maybe I'm being selfish or something, and I'm thinking too much of the old Temari -the baby Temari. A little three year old girl who was scared of everything and everyone in her life- including her own family members!
Younger Temari just got tired of being scared of everything! Being at the mercy of everyone's will. That is why I forced myself more or less to stand up for myself no matter what. Refusing help from anyone, because if I asked for help back then... I'd be seen weak and get taken advantage of.
but besides that, I enjoy being there for my husband or my son when they need me. I need it, they both give me a purpose... something to work hard towards to protect. It's my job as a wife and mother to be able to do that...and I can't do it anymore... not like how I use to.
"...even now you're thinking about me and Shikadai when you're hurting... Temari that selfless nature of your never ceases to amaze me." you two, you boys are my world...how could I not think about you..." but Tem you have to realize you don't have to carry that weight alone. For you to constantly be considering everyone else wellbeing over yourself makes me wonder what the hell am I doing for you as your husband..."
"No, it's not that Shikamaru I swear I just..." I didn't want him to think I couldn't or didn't depend on him it's just, I've always been like this. He's a wonderful husband and I'm just too selfish to let him do things for me... "I'm sorry...if I..."
" You have nothing to be apologizing for. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you." What? Why was he apologizing to me... " in the back of my mind I've been thinking if i had just supported you on this mission from the start... then what happened to you, you wouldn't have felt the need to keep it to yourself...I Couldn't begin to image how you must have felt..."
"I...I just didn't know how'd you feel about if you knew..."
"What I would have felt wouldn't matter Temari ." He took both of my hands in his , and held them tight. I knew what he was about to say he wanted me to truly listen. " I'm a grown man Temari, if my feelings get hurt I'll deal with it. But if something is hurting you... that's my job to help you, to support you. Don't feel like you need to protect me at the risk of yourself. If I caused you to do that... I'd hate myself-if you did that, that would truly hurt me."
"I understand..."
"You give me this weigh to carry for you Temari."
"...okay..." still I fought with the idea of adding my problems ontop of his. A man can only handle so much... why would I want to add more to his plate. When I see my husband stress I stress! And knowing I am adding stress to him, it doesn't sit well with me. " But Shika-"
" There is not but to this. You'll fight the idea and I know it, and I'm prepared for it. But Tem you have to realize right now your hurting. And you might not be able to see it yet, but there are going to be times when you feel low and broken, falling apart even. You'll want to give up and you'll be mad at me. And I'll want you to be-I want you to take out that anger and fear on me. Because I'm going to encourage you to fall apart and be broken. I don't want you to fake and be the strong Temari for me... for Shikadai, when you're not. You're allowed to be broken and not know how to get yourself back up again. That's what I'm for, I'll be there with you for each step. around every corner to pick up your broken and shattered pieces."
I was utterly speechless. I pressed my forehead against his lips and he kissed me. I cried into his chest like a baby. "S...shika...maru..."
"Temari You are still the same women I fell in love with, who I asked to marry, and who had our amazing son…nothing, and I mean nothing can ever change that, not this, not anything. You are the best thing that could have happened to me, and I want you to know that…a….and what happened to you, that doesn't define you, it's not who you are. You're Temari of the sand, daughter of the Kazekage, my amazing wife and Shikadais mother" his thumbs wiped away the last of my tears as my blurry vision cleared.
"Thank you Shikamaru ." I leaned into him and he kissed my forehead. Everything always felt better when I was with him. And after having this talk with him, I felt safe with him more safe with him than I have ever felt before.
Shikamaru
I stayed by Temari side, like I promised her, it wasn't soon after we talked that she went to sleep. And as I watched her, Temari seemed to be at peace with out a care or worry in her mind. Good, that's how she needed it to be, and how I wanted it. As I watched her sleep beneath me, I realized this was the first time she has been close to me since shes been home. Resting her head on my chest, she rose and fell with my steady breathing.
To think that whole time she was with me, sitting or laying next to me a part of her was scared. And not necessarily of me, but the 'what if' what if this happened….of what if 'it' had happened again. to live and have that constantly playing in the back of her head. I couldn't fathom it. And it kills me just thinking that that sick bastard took her peace of mind from her.
But I'll find a way to get it back for her.
I told her I would carry her weight for her, and that's the god damn truth. Just thinking about what she said to me earlier, played in the back of my mind. God, out of all the crap I would talk to her about men and women when we were younger. What a dumb ass that Shikamaru was…there's no doubt women are by far stronger than men in my eyes. To still be so selfless for others when her world was practically falling apart. She held herself together so well, and anyone not knowing the truth or not paying attention wouldn't have a clue of what she was dealing with.
Man this women is amazing.
Everything she did was for my sake…. I can't get that feeling out of my chest…out of my head. Hell I probably won't ever be able to. She was worrie so much about failing me when the reality was I dialed her. I got distracted and failed my king , and I'll be damn if I fail her again.
Of all my years of playing shoji I know the value of the king in the game. One of mines was taken down, but that doesn't mean I can't rebuild her. And protect her this time… better than ever.
As I continued to watch her sleep I heard the clock ticking in the background. Soon the song went off, it was two o'clock. And I remembered telling Shikadai I would be there to pick him up early so he could see his mother. Yet she slept so peacefully, the last thing I wanted to do was wake her, let alone leave her. I felt like my thoughts must have been heard out in the atmosphere. Soon Sakura came in, she knocked softly before coming in.
"I told her you'd be here…"
"Yea…"
"When you'd get here?"
"…around five this morning I think…not sure. Didn't sleep much so I didn't see the point in staying away from her any longer."
"I see. How is she?"
"She's good, she's been sleeping for the last couple of hours." I slowly started to shift away from her knowing she wouldn't be alone now.
"That's great, exactly what I wanted to hear." Sakura then placed a chart down on a table at the foot of her bed. I couldn't make out the words, but I knew it pertained to her and her wellbeing most likely. " I'll be back in alittle while with another nurse before my shift is over to give her one last checkup before we release her."
"Sounds good."
"And also, we'll tell you both some options you might in interested in."
"Right…" knowing about the options she was talking about. I tried to push it to the back of my mind as soon as I could. My wife's already been though so much, and now she'll have to deal with that… "Hey Sakura, I'm going to go pick up Shikadai a little early today, if she wakes up just tell her I'll be back soon,"
"Sure no problem."
Leaving the hospital I knew Temari was in good hands, but I still left like I should be the one there watching her.
As I waited for Shikadai to come to the office, I felt my phone going off in my pocket. I took it out, "Oh shit…" it was Naruto, apparently I had three missed calls from him already…I forgot all about work with everything happening, Dammit. Whatever I'd deal with work later, the Kage meetings is the last thing I want to think about, even if it's tomorrow. But that's right Gaara would be in town and staying with us. Damn...i don't know if I want him staying with us with Temari just getting out the hospital. Gaara wouldn't know- I'm sure she wouldn't tell her little brother something like this either . At least not yet, with it being so fresh. " what a drag…"
"Dad! I'm ready!" My eyes then went to Shikadai was he came bouncing around the corner. The teal in his eyes sparkled bright like his mother. "Come on dad lets go!"
"Alright alright." I got up slowly, Shikadai was already out the door as I was saying goodbye to the people in the office. Geeze where this kid get all the energy in the world from? Walking to the hospital we actually passed the Hokage office, and I wondered if Naruto was looking out the window. If he was he'd definitely see me playing hooky with my son and would be the process of blowing up my phone. But since that's not happening, I'm guessing he must be preoccupied with something else away from his desk. Then I thought, why not be proactive about something Shikamaru. "Hey Shikadai! wait a second, I have to run and tell lord Seventh something, wait outside."
Immediately I saw his face change, going from excitement an anticipation to being annoyed. Hmp, even his emotions change like Temari. "Ugh dad come on! You've had all day to speak with lord seventh!"
"Quit your nagging kid, I'll be done in a second." I went up the stairway to the front doors. Being in a work place, the rules were to try to not use our ninja abilities here, especially with others co-workers who may not be trained Shinobi. So it took me some time to walk up the steps and don't get me started about the damn elevator. When I was outside his door, I paused for a moment to think about what I was going to say. I'm a grown man, I'm not going to lie and make up some excuse to my boss to why I wasn't at work, and again this is naruto we're talking about. I'm just trying to find a way to bring up the conversation without giving up too much information. "Hey Naruto it's me, can I come in?" I didn't get an answer right away. Normally I would wait, after all it could be a conference call or something- but I didn't have the time for that. So I walked on it.
When I entered his room he was buried deep in paperwork, probably going over it. Actually lord sixth was with him surprisingly. Kakashi met my eyes first. "Oh hey there Shikamaru, long time no see." Immediately Naruto eyes looked up to me, all wide eyed and annoying.
"Aye Shikamaru ! I've been calling you, where have to been?!"
"Lord sixth, lord seventh. I'm sorry for my absence, family matters called me to be home." I explained.
"Oh I see, everything okay?"
"Actually I came to talk to you about it." I began " Lord sixth if you wouldn't mind giving us a minute?"
"If you keep calling me lord Sixth I won't" I rolled my eye and forgot about his... lord policy.
"Hah, my fualt, Kakashi Sensei would you mind giving me and Nartuo a minute."
"Now that sounds much better," he slowly walked passed, patting on the back as he left. " Take all the time you need." He closed the door behind him. Leaving just Naruto and myself.
"I have to say you had me worried when you didn't show up this morning, everything okay man?" He got up and stretched.
"Well to say life's thrown me a curve ball would be putting in lightly. But I'm going to get straight to the point here. Naruto im asking respectfully to be allowed leave of the office for a little while if possible." I don't know why I added the 'if possibe' I was going to do this where or not he wanted it.
"Huh? Leave of office?"
"I know this news is rather short notice, but this is something I need to do for my family right now. I'm asking you if you'd allow my leave. Of course I wouldn't leave you hanging completely, I could get paperwork sent to my home and look over things there."
"Oh, and you need to stay home?"
"Yes, I do."
"Well, I'm not gonna lie, I'll be needed you for some stuff." He walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder " But I can tell this is important to you so of course I'll allow it. Especially for your family wellbeing."
"Thanks man. And I'm sure Kakashi Sensei wouldn't mind a few visit to the office to help you out either."
"Oh you can believe it!"
"Right, I'm going to head out. I'll tell the main desk to send me any paperwork you need me to look over, and I'll send them back asap."
"Sounds good." As I was about to walk out the door Naruto asked me. "Hey Shikamaru is everything really okay, I'm just asking as your friend?" I didn't turn back to look at him. But I could the concern in his voice as he said this, and it made me wonder did he know something?
"Hmp, I'm not going to lie the next coming days are probably going to push me to my limit... but I'll survive. But things are getting better now."
"Okay sounds good, don't be a stranger and stop by anytime- see ya later man."
"Cya." And I walked out the door. By the time Shikadai and I got to the hospital it was around 3:30 and I was hoping I didn't take too long with Naruto that I missed Temari checkup with Sakura. "Hey Shikadai calm down, you're too excited son."
"I'm not excited dad." I'd beg to differ but. " You think mom will be awake?"
"I have no idea, but remember your moms tried. So try not to overwhelm her okay Shikadai."
"I got it dad, now come on!" He took me by the hand and dragged me down the hallway. We were finally outside her door. I knocked to make sure she knew someone was coming in. When I opened the door and peeked through she was staring out the window, I wonder what she was thinking.
"Hey Temari." She turned when she heard me call her.
"Shikamaru…"
"Mom!!" Before I could stop him, our son went rushing over to his mother. Completely forgetting what I had just told him, tsk, I figured just as much. Hmp and my wife was no help picking up Shikadai as he jumped on her bed.
"Aww baby, ive missed you so much..."
"Hmp looks like you remember what we just talked about Shikadai." I closed the door and walked in. Immediately I could see Shikadai process what he just did.
"Uh... sorry mom" he tired to jump off the bed but Temari wouldn't let him.
"No I'm so sorry Shikadai…" she held him so tight I was afraid he lose all the air in his body. But I guess he was okay it , because he was holding her just as tight. "I'm so sorry…"
"You spoil him too much." I voiced using her own words against her. She quickly caught on and rolled her eyes at me. If I spoiled our son it was bad, but if she spoiled him it was alright, haha.
I could hear Shikadai struggle to fight back his tears. Temari patted him on his back. "it's okay Shikadai…everything better now." She looked to me as she said this, and I felt my spirits lift.
"I-I'm s-sorry…i…I don't want to cry…"
"It's fine baby, really."
"…but…but not t-trying to be a. Crybaby….and beside…i-I'm sorry for yesterday…i…I froze when dad needed me." As I think about it, maybe he got this trait from my father, and as weird as it sounds thinking of my father in that light, but… the kid wears his heart on his sleeves. Which I'm not mad about, at least you know he cares and has a passion for something.
"You're not a crybaby Shikadai."voiced his mother
"..y.yes I am…" I went over and sat on the end of the bed.
"Shikadai it's okay really, you're always so hard on yourself. What did we talk about yesterday?" I voiced looking to him.
"I…know…"
"But you know what Shikadai ,it's okay to cry sometimes. " voiced Temari "Everyone cries, everyone feels upset or sad."
"Yea…"
"And if it makes you feel better " I added " no one can get the category of crybaby, but me son." I watched my son wipe the tears from his eyes. And the sadness was soon replaced with a big smile.
"Hahha! "
"And besides you and your father are both my little crybabies and I love you dearly!" She kissed his cheek again and hugged him tightly.
It was this moment, the small snapshot of joy and content within my family that made me feel like the bad in this world, didn't have the power to destroy everything. Seeing Temari hug our son like nothing else mattered and Shikadai being, more than willing to be smothered by his mother made life worth it. And the fact that I'm here, being able to witness it…god I'd never take this for granite.
For that moment everything was prefect. Shikadai was playing his video game at the end of the bed, completely consumed in his own world. Temari and I watched in amusement. Hmp, I'd say I watched on in amusement more than her. I'd feel her go in and out of sleep from time to time as her head leaned on my shoulder. Our hands tightly intertwined, never wavering for a second.
Knock knock.
I turned my head to the sound coming from the door. Shikadai like I said was consumed in his game, but hearing the knocking woke Temari up from her slumber. "Hey it's me again, how's everything?" Voiced Sakura walking in with a red headed nurse I wasn't familiar with.
"Hey Sakura." I vocied sitting up some. "Looks like I didn't miss you after all."
"Seems so." I then nudge Shikadai with my foot so he'd pay attention to the other adults in the room- this generation with their technology is interesting.
"Hi Aunt Sakura " Then the red hair nurse stepped forward with a smile.
"Hello Mrs. Nara I'll be giving you your check up okay."
" Okay."
"Hey Shikadai, why don't you come with me, I've got some errands I need you to help me with." Vocied Sakura.
"Really?" His voice wasn't one of thrill , but he knew it couldn't stay in with room. "Okay, here I come." he slowly got himself off the bed, taking his game with him.
"Don't worry we'll be back soon."
"Okay, sounds good." The two exited the room. Leaving Temari and I with the nurse.
"Alright lets get started shall we." I saw as Temari nodded her head to the nurses response, but it was a nervous nodd rather than her assured nod.
"Hey Tem, would you like me to leave or stay?"
"No stay."
"Alright, sounds good."
As Doctor gave Temari her last checkup, I stood a few paces behind her and the curtain, occasionally I turned my attention to the side when I noticed her gaze slowly wander in my direction.
But she rarely looked back. I could tell she was uncomfortable and some part of her didn't want me to see her as she was. I don't know if it was due to the bruises themselves or if knowing my gaze was actually on her which made her uncomfortable. So I tried my best to respect her and not look. I was just there for support- but it was hardly starting to feel impossible to keep my emotions at bay and my common sense in check.
Seeing for myself the condition of her body, made my body instantly have a reaction that I hoped she didn't see. Seeing the cuts and bruises made me sick to my stomach ... no it was worse then that. Seeing them made me feel hollow inside. Knowing how that monster touched her...
Mmm calm yourself Shikamaru! Temari already uncomfortable the last thing she needs to know is I'm uncomfortable too. I wiped the sweat from my hands distracting myself... but it really didn't work.
The doctor had noted the bruises were ten times better compared to the first day reports she had read. Which to me, made my stomach knot in and around itself . It was my first time seeing them and all I could see was a huge hand mark on the mid-section of her back. half below her bra strap. It was dark blue, turning purple…and this is better?
I didn't want to see what the front of her body looked like. I didn't want to know, it'd be too much.
"Now Temari how's that right rib? The charts say you bad some bad bruising."
"Much better actually." Her voice was hushed some.
"And the bleeding, it's stopped right?"
"...y-yes."
Oh God, I had to shake my head and get the sight and thought out of my mind. because if I didn't I would have gone mad and more upset that she hadn't let me known all this sooner!
I could feel the urge growing inside. I could clearly see the way I was going to find and kill that bastard once given the chance. I had already thought of 20 different ways to slowly torture that snake. Mind you I had no idea what the guy looked like but trust me... it didn't matter.
"Well everything looks better Temari, that I can say for sure." The voice of the doctor brought me out of my contemplating state. " but still take some time to recover a good couple of weeks."
"…yes ma'am "
"You can start to get your things ready and I'll see you two outside."
"Sounds good." As Temari turned around and went over to get her things back on the bed near me, I couldn't help but noticed she avoided my gaze. So I went over to the door to open it for the doctor to give her some space. I have to remember this is going to take time.
Time for me to be able to handle the reality and time for her to warm up to the idea of me being there even in the uncomfortable spots.
"Mrs, thank you." I voiced opening the door.
"Of course this is my job, Mr. Nara isn't it. "
"Yes, ma'ma."
"Here, I want to give you this." She handed me a small piece of paper with a number on it. I looked at her puzzled. " It's a outreach program. If she needs to talk to anyone about something , or when you know she needs to talk to someone at the moment. It can both work ways really even for you if you have any questions or concerns."
" therapy? " I remember always toying with her about her needing therapy to control that hot temper of hers, of course it was a joking manner but now... now she really needs it.
"Yes, I know Temari would not be a fan of it, but I know it will be good for her. And the sooner you start the better."
"Of course, if you think this is good for her then she'll go. "
"Alright The unfair stigma that comes from people who go to therapy is really wrong. But this is just were she can go and talk to anyone, it doesn't even have to be about the rape. She can talk about absolutely anything and someone is just there to listen."
"Okay..."
" this is for the best. So she should really go."
" Dont worry I'll get her there." Even if I have to drag her which will likely the case.
"Alright, but remember no forcing anything. If she's not willing then you really can't make her. Despite how frustrating it might be as a love one. You want the But well... I'm sure you know what I mean."
"Yes ma'am I do."
"Oh and one other thing." She came over alittle closer this time, leaning in some. " In your line of professions I know the term isn't new to you, Shikamaru, Temari has PTSD. Even if she may try to deny it the symptoms are there." She then reached inside the other pocket and gave me another number. " Here, I want her to call this number just in case anything would happen, the women on the other line are other survivors who could help coach her out if she would have an attack."
"I see"
"A lot to take in I know, but this will be good for both you and her." I nodded my head " This type of thing doesn't just affect the victim." I guess that does make sense. honestly I'm grateful she gave me these options or else I would be going into battle with no plan or backup. If something were to happen I want to be the best prepared for a situation to help her out of it " Anyways looks like she's all ready I'm leave you two ."
"Thank you, again." I closed the door as she left, then I turned Temari, had just finished gathering her things. "Ready to go?"
"Yea."
"You okay?"
"Yea, I'm fine... so...What did you and my doctor talk about?"
"you heard?" I asked which was stupid since she clearly asked the question of what she heard us talking about.
"Just a little , I saw her give you something, what was it?"
"Just this number she wants you to call when we get home."
"What kind of number?" I scratched the back of my head, I don't want to say it's for her to sign up for therapy- but it is. I know how she'll react to that, and I'm trying to avoid pissing her off.
"it's someone you'll be able to talk to ya know, if you're feeling upset or something."
"Great…so it starts now." I could tell by her voice she was annoyed by the idea of going to some office to talk to someone about her 'feelings' again, I know this isn't my wife things, but she just has to learn asking someone for help doesn't mean you're weak. "You know I don't like therapy..."
"Don't be like that Temari, she wants to help you and she thinks this will be good for you, and I think so too." She still said nothing, she just stayed looking at her feet. " and I'll be going with you, so you won't be alone either."
"...I'm not worried about being alone it just…is this a Group thing or a by yourself thing. I-I don't want others to know…that's all. one person may know another person and so on and so on. And then before you know it everyone knows your business"
"I'm sure it won't be like that but hey we can ask about it."
Knock knock
We both looked to the door. I forgot we were just standing there.
I opened the door for Sakura.
"Hey you all done?"
"Yes and about to leave."
"Good, I still have Shikadai occupied for a little bit. We should have some time before he returns. But I wanted to talk to you guys about your plans." Sakura stepped in and closed the door behind her. " regrading the pregnancy and all." Hearing the word, 'pregnancy' did send a different shiver down my spine. More of a painful twinge then anything, that's for sure. But this feeling in my body wasn't just me, I could feel the same tension too coming from my wife as she stood beside me.
I saw her place her hand to her stomach.
"I want to end the pregnancy."
"Are you sure?" She looked up at me as I said this. Not expecting me to say anything like that. Believe me the last thing I want my wife to do is to have this mans child. And no matter the urge I have myslef to pull that damn thing out of her with my own bare hands- I can't ignore the risk of the procedure. She wouldn't only be putting her body though a lot of stress, Plus Temari isn't a fan of needles . That I know for sure. When we went on our frist date the topic of her childhood came up. I learned her father tried to use her body has the Sands frist jinchuuriki- which I had no idea. So the hell she went though with him she's still dealing with now. " I'll go along with anything you want to do, I just want to make sure you'll be okay."
Needless to say I learned a lot about her that day. Now knowing this I can't just say in plain faith go and get an abortion. What if it trigger her? Like I did...I mean I don't know what happens to women when they get this procedure but I know it has to be an uncomfortable. I'd think it be best to avoid situations like that, espically since I most likely wont be able to be in the room with her. I wouldn't want her to go though at alone.
"I'm sure."
"Okay, then ."
"So, I'll set up an appointment with one of our doctors then, it'll be very discreet in one of the lower rooms in the hospital. When would you like to set the appointment?"
"As soon as possible." Her voice was anxious.
"Alright, ill go see the next available date for you to come in. And I'll tell Shikadai to meet you both downstairs " We both nodded as we watched Sakura leave.
"You okay?" I asked after a moment of silence, as we walked down the hall. "You seemed alittle anxious back there."
"I just want to get this over with, and I want things to go back to normal that's all."
"Well, that's going to take time Tem. It's not going to happen over night."
"I know that."
"I know, I just don't want you rushing into anything. That's all I'm saying, I'm just looking out for you."
"Thanks…" she still seemed down about soemthing.maybe us still talking about the matter was stressing her some?
"I took off work for a little bit so I can stay home and be with you."
"Huh, what? Why would you do that Shikamaru, you love your work and beside you know Nartuo needs you!" Yup, there's that Temari I know.
"You need me too Tem, I can't be two places at once."
"I see shadowing clowning yourself would be too much work." Teasing me.
"Damn right, Naruto stretches himself too thin sometimes with his clones. Which makes it harder for him to do his work. I'm not trying to be like that-." I then felt a hit from the back of my head.
"…lazy!"
"Ouch women!." I rubbed the back of my neck which was stringing like crazy, thanks to my wife.
"You know that Nation needs you Shikamaru! We could be heading into another Ninja war now thanks to you! Get some priorities please."
"Temari… you ARE my priorities- which is something you don't seem to get." I annoying poked the side of her temple, which she loved when I did this, but she always acted like she hated it. She immediately turned red in the cheeks.
"You're so annoying."
"And you're so troublesome."
"I sure am starting to feel that way" she said this in a hushed tone, which I don't know why she would try to do that. My ears hear everything, and besides Im right next to her anyway. She instantly read my face, she knew I hated it when she referred to herself as being troublesome to me- that was my job calling her tourblemsome, not hers." I'm sorry…I just feel you leaving work Is my fault. Shikamaru you don't have to babysit me." Why did she always see me staying home to take care of her a problem? Is that what all women think? Even when she was pregnant with Shikadai she didn't want me staying home.
"I'm not babysitting you."
"You say that now…I'll give you a couple of hours of being home and I'll want to strangle you."
"Please." I took her hand in mine and brought it to my lips and kissed it. " and besides this way I'm home more to be with you and Shikadai, now family dinners won't be such a rare occasion."
"I guess it would be nice to have someone help me around the house." A sly smile came to her face, and I could only wonder what she was thinking. If anything I'd know I have two bosses to report to now, Naruto at the office, and Temari at home. But lets be honest she has always been the boss of me.
"Hah, that's what I'm here for."
When we got to the front desk, Shikadai was already waiting for us. He was sitting along the side of the hospital wall. His eyes drifting from person to person as they walked back. When he finally noticed us, he shot up and came over.
"There you guys are, I was waiting forever."
"Sorry son." I voiced.
"Hey Shikamaru, I'm going to check out at the front desk and see if everything all ready."
"Sure thing. Come on Shikadai." He and I went back to where he was sitting. I never took my eyes off Temari as she walked away from me, I couldn't chance it. While we were siting down Shikadai was talking to me about the things Sakura had him do. And to be honest, I wasn't really listening. Something about Temari posture was bugging me. Her shoulders seemed more hunched then normal and she had that nervous thing she does with her leg by tapping her foot against the other. Something was up, so I went and walked over to make sure everything was okay. "Wait here Shikadai."
"Um….okay."
"Hey Everything okay?" I asked coming from Temari side. Both her hands were turning white from gripping the counter. "Hey Tem, where's the lady who suppose to be at the front desk?"
"She went back to talk with the doctor about the schedule appointment."
"What she say about it?"
"She said I couldn't come in for another month and at that the very end of that month." month?! I'm sorry but that seemed too long of a wait for this. And for my liking as well. We are NOT waiting that damn long!
"What the hell is with that wait?"
"Something about the doctor being in and out of town with various conferences . I asked her if I could just have another doctor instead, we can't wait that long."
"I understand. But don't worry I'm sure they'll work something out."
"But what if they can't and we have to wait that long Shikamaru."
"Then we'll go somewhere, don't work yourself over this Temari."
"Right, sorry." I didn't blame her though, another day with this was another day too long. suddenly that very women- I'm thinking, came back from behind the door.
"Okay Mrs. Nara i have good news. I was able to squeeze you in with a different doctor for next week. It's with a different doctor but hopefully that works out better for you."
"Yes it works out perfectly"
"Good, I'll set it for this coming Friday."
"Thank you so much."
"See Tem, everything worked out like I said."
"You're right." Wait what?
"I'm sorry what did you just say? You said I'm right?"
"Don't get full of yourself."
"Haha don't worry im not, okay maybe just alittle." she rolled her eyes.
"Alright I have evrything check out, I'll be seeing you next week then drop off will be at 6 am." Six in the morning….Good God.
"Yes, thanks again." We then turned to leave.
"Better?" I asked.
"Much better"
"Good, come on lets head home." I took her small hand in mine and we followed our son out the door.
Authors Note
Man this chapter really pulled at my heart string and I hoped you all enjoyed it ! Man 13k words... and to think I wanted to add in another section to finish this chapter ! I think I'll just add that part in the next chapter lol. After all we have to bring back Shikamaru mom right?! And we all know how over baring she can be but...anyways what did you think might come up next?!
