Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or Portal. Negima is the property of Ken Akumatsu and Portal is the property of Valve. Don't sue me.
Authors Notes a.k.a. What the Last Chapter Taught Me: I'm not as smart as I look. Then again I never claimed to be a genius. Oh well, still a good chapter, right?
Twins Testing Trouble
By Dark Dragon Dave
GLaDOS chuckles again while continuing her maniacal rocking. Now, with her Morality Core loose, it counts as faulty and she can ignore it. It is one of the wonders of her design.
"What's so funny?" Satomi asks. She's still sitting up inside of GLaDOS.
"Nothing, really." GLaDOS responds.
Satomi climbs down off of GLaDOS. "So, about Portal technology?" She asks.
"Yes of course, it was part of our bargain. The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device harnesses the power of Quantum Physics to warp plane space. Much like creating worm hole." GLaDOS tells them. "Well, it is creating a worm hole."
"But how?" Chao asks. "Something that small shouldn't have the energy needed to produce a tear in space."
"Please look at the screen above me." GLaDOS says.
Chao and Satomi back up and look up. Everything GLaDOS knows about Portal technology goes by as she spends 43.41 minutes explaining it. Chao and Satomi absorb every bit, from Hausenbach Energy and Exact Wavelength Omni Termination to the Theory of Spatial Splattering.
"Wow. I never even knew some of this." Satomi admits.
"That still doesn't explain why I've never heard of any of this. Trust me I'd know." Chao says.
"Awfully sure of yourself," GLaDOS says, "aren't you?"
"Well, let's say I know what is coming down the pipes." Chao says.
183 ideas pass through GLaDOS's "mind" as she looks at Chao with a bit more intensity. Most deal with cake. "That is unimportant. Listen could you tell me about that radiation?"
"Of course… It's magic." Chao tells the A.I. She doesn't expect the computer to believe her.
"Come on… You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" GLaDOS asks.
"It's true." Satomi says. They spend 87.23 minutes explaining magic. "That 'radiation' you've been manipulating is magic."
"I- I- I- I- I- I- Theeeeere's no way! That is the kind of thing reserved for children's parties. Why, that is a slap in the face of science; and in turn, everything I stand for!" If she had fingers she would have been tapping a table hard with her index finger to punctuate her point or snapping someone's neck. Something deep within GLaDOS really wanted to kill them now. Best to listen to preprogrammed impulse. Green gas started seeping from the vents higher up in GLaDOS's chamber.
The two girls see the gas. "What's that?"
"That is an eraser that I am going to use to rub out your lies." GLaDOS says. "It's a deadly neurotoxin. That will kill you."
"Why are you trying to do that?!" Satomi asks.
GLaDOS rationalizes. "Because you have lied and therefore have broken our agreement. I gave you classified Aperture Science technology and you have given me nothing in return. Good bye."
"Quickly, back through the portal!" Chao says to Satomi.
They hustle back to the hallway but the door to GLaDOS's chamber closes before they can get there. "By the way," GLaDOS says, "not only do I have neurotoxin, I have this, a rocket turret." From under the left side of GLaDOS a strange sphere rises up from the floor on a multi-jointed arm. A blue laser moves through the room and aims at the duo. An alarm goes off and the two move out of the way of the incoming rocket. They run and hide in a small dark colored hut to GLaDOS's right. The coughing sets in.
"What can we," Satomi coughs, "do?"
Chao takes a moment to cough and think.
"If you surrender I will let you become test subjects and I will vent the exceedingly friendly and very deadly toxins from the air."
"We need to get to the consoles up front." Chao says. Both girls decided to pull their shirts up over their noses, in a mostly meaningless gesture; but hey, every little bit helps. "We should be able to reprogram her from there."
"I will say though… She tried to kill us." Satomi seems happy about this.
"What's so good about that?"
"She came to that decision on her own." Chao couldn't see it but Satomi has a smile on her face.
"So she doesn't have the three laws. Let's just get to those terminals. You do the reprogramming if you can get over her, and I'll draw the rocket fire."
"Wait. I have a quicker idea. Not to call your idea bad, but what if we get the rocket to blow the door open?" Satomi asks.
Chao smiles. "The direct approach? I like it. However, we'll need to make sure the door breaks. I'll use fire to heat it up and the rocket to blow it open. I'll still need some time."
Several minutes later and both girls emerged from the portal in the floor of the robotics lab. An explosion forced the portal closed. They remained on the floor for a few moments. "Boy, that was climactic." Chao comments in a woozy manner.
Satomi adds while looking at a computer monitor. "I know. Too bad nobody was watching. When the rocket came, and the door… Wow."
They continue to lay there.
"Do you think we should tell the others?" Satomi asks.
"Nah. They'll figure it out on their own. Plus we can always spy on them."
Testchamber 06: Start
It's another day of classes and GLaDOS is still just as batdung crazy as yesterday. During a quite part of the class everyone's phone rings. Upon opening them, most of the class gave a collective "Aww." Every phone has a small pink heart on the screen.
"Negi-kun gave us a gift." A majority of the class swoons.
"I did what now?!" Negi asks like he has no clue as to what is going on.
Clyde Metro looks at his phone and says, mostly to himself, "I really hope not."
The same group that said 'Negi-kun gave us a gift' is also the same group that rushes the desk moments later.
"Attention please… Zzzkttzz." The PA system screeches. Chao and Satomi recognize the voice as well as the Narutakis and their group. "Delivering gift in 5… 4… 3… 2…" A portal opens up above in the wall and another large cube flies out of it and knocks a couple of desks out of its way. This cube is different than the last one. It has a pink heart on it much like the hearts on the phones.
The same people let out another collective "Aww." A few of them went to go look at the very friendly box that just arrived. "This must be another part of the gift."
"What now?" Negi thinks.
Coincidentally, GLaDOS explains. "This is the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube. It will accompany you through the test."
"Really? Now?" Negi asks from inside his feminine prison. The class seems to be curious as to who this woman Negi is speaking to is.
"No, when you are done… here. I will contact you later." GLaDOS chuckles out.
Ayaka doesn't seem happy. "Negi-sensei, who was that? And why, and I guess how, did she drop this box into the room?"
Thanks to GLaDOS's interruption Negi spends his time explaining GLaDOS, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, cake, and to a brief extent, Yuna's encounter with the last box. He left out the detonation and traveling to Antarctica bit to prevent panic.
After classes Negi has the laptop once again and the Narutakis have the Portal Gun. This time they are joined by Ayaka who wants to make sure that Negi isn't doing anything dangerous. (And to some small extent to make sure GLaDOS doesn't have any plans… It wasn't that she didn't trust Negi's explanation, but she did have Negi's best interest at heart. Yes, that's it.)
The screen shows a blue screen instead of the usual Aperture logo. GLaDOS says, in a fast, high pitched, voice. "H- H- H-Hello!TodaythetestwillhaveyouusingtheWeightedCompanionCubetopressswitchesI'vesetuparoundMahoraAcademy."
"Could you slow it down?" Asuna asks.
In a deeper tone GLaDOS says. "Hello… Today… the… test-"
She cut A.I. off. "At a normal speed please?"
"You will use the Weighted Companion Cube to press several buttons around the campus." GLaDOS says simply.
"Hold on. This has to be one of the tests that comes with the least information." Kaede says. "Are there any restrictions?"
"Yes. Many. You will find out where to go and what the restrictions are when you hit the switch, it will give you all you need to know. Also, to carry the Weighted Companion Cube around, you can use the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. You should feel a toggle switch in front of the triggers. That activates the gun's Local Gravity & Mass Negation Field."
"The what?" Fuka asks. She looks underneath the gun, at the place where the triggers are. There was a tiny black switch attached to the main body of the gun. Because it blends into the area it sits so well they haven't noticed it before.
"It allows you to negate the mass of objects and allows you to move them with ease. Be advised that this is not a 'Zero Point Energy Manipulator' by any means."
Kaede asks. "What is a 'Zero Point Energy Manipulator'?"
"A Gravity Gun." GLaDOS replies. "Even though I am not the one who invented it, it is still a brilliant bit of science. It allows one to pull in and fire off nearby objects at high velocity."
"So this is all you are having them do?" Ayaka asks.
"Why yes, Ayaka Yukihiro, Class 3-A Representative, Student Number 29. And she is also a nicer person than Asuna Kagurazka."
Ayaka is genuinely confused by, but at the same time agrees with, the response. "How did you know that?"
"Come on! Why do we have to go through this every time?" Asuna asks.
"Nothing can remain hidden to me if I look." GLaDOS replies, in a forceful tone, to the question posed by the Class Rep.
"No need to be mad."
"I suppose you are tagging along for the test like a few of your other classmates."
Ayaka confirms this. "To ensure the safety of our sensei. Of course."
"Safety no longer has anything to do with it." GLaDOS says. "Your safety is your own lookout."
"I suspected as much, since I'm not part of the group."
"Now for the first switch…"
"Wait." Kaede interrupts again. "Are there any weapons to worry about?"
"No. Just high restrictions and requirements. Oh, and I've added a new consequence for failure. Fail and the gun… activates."
Chao and Satomi, who were standing out in the hallway, overheard this. Satomi looks at Chao and mouths "Activates?"
Chao shrugs and the two move so they can observe the test group move about without being spotted.
The group, with the exclusion of Ayaka, has a look of shock and horror on their faces.
"How can you do such a thing?" Asuna asks
"They are my tests therefore I can do as I please. Beside the cake will be… excellent. Your first stop is the 'Starbooks' coffee shop. Shouldn't it be… Starbu... never mind." The laptop makes a whine and goes into sleep mode.
"Well… Let's get to it." Negi suggests. A hint of apprehension, perhaps even fear, in his voice.
The group arrives at Starbooks and start looking around for said button. Not on the side of building. Not under any of the tables. Not in the building. Hmm… This is supposed to be where it is. Don't tell me I put it somewhere lame.
Fuka places the Cube gently on the ground. "There you go Companion-kun." She pats it on the top, like a kitten or a puppy.
"Companion-chan!" Fumika argues. "How many boys do you know that would wear a heart like that?"
"Just as many as you. None." Fuka states. "And I say it's a boy." They continue to argue as the others get on with the test.
"It's got to be on top then." Kaede formulates. She spies something attached to the building next to it. "Right there." She points up to a flat bit of cement that looks out of place on the side of the building.
"They won't let us up there." Ayaka says.
Fuka stops fighting and holds up the gun with a big grin on her face. "With this, we won't need to go through the building." She aims the gun up at the spot and shoots the blue portal. It sticks to the spot on the side of the wall of the building next door.
Ayaka doesn't understand what the gun just did. "Is that," she points to the blue oval on the side of the building, "what the Portal Gun you spoke of earlier does?"
Negi looks at her. "That's only the half of it."
Fuka fires the orange portal into the street. Several people nearby comment on the university's wanton testing. Fuka looks into the hole in the ground. "We might be able to make it through." She comes up with an idea. She goes over to the Companion Cube and asks it, "Are you ready to go?"
"…" the Weighted Companion Cube replies ardently.
"Good. Thanks a lot." Fuka flips the toggle and the Cube lifts up off the ground and at a set distance from the front of the gun. The gun's pale orange electrical arcs are suspending the Cube in place. "Here we go." Fuka drops the Cube into the portal.
It immediately flies out the other side and lands as safely as an inanimate metal box can on top of a coffee shop. Ka-thunk! Most of the patrons inside look up at the ceiling in reaction to the noise from up above. The rest ignore it.
"Do you think we could build something like that?" Satomi asks.
Chao remains silent for a few seconds. "There simply isn't any record of Aperture Science, GLaDOS, or a Portal Gun. Why haven't I heard of them?" She asks herself.
"Hello?"
Chao snaps to. "Huh? Oh, um… We might be able to. But I don't know if we could get the parts together without alerting both the Academy and GLaDOS. And that activating bit has me wondering what else that gun can do." She turns to Hakase. "I think the whole Academy may be in trouble. And I think we may have had a hand in it. She didn't want us to get away with the secrets and tried to kill us. What might she be planning for that group?
Not to mention that there have been numerous people who have seen that gun. Plus we told her about magic. Sure she didn't believe us, but she is still able to manipulate magic. When we loosened that sphere didn't you notice a change in her behavior?"
"Do you think she'll have come to that conclusion?"
"And you were the one expounding all her glory." Chao says in a manner that said she was let down by her classmate. "I bet she had it worked out yesterday, likely while we were still speaking to her."
"So what do we do?"
"For once… I don't know. GLaDOS has us in a bind."
"How do we get up there?" Asuna asks. "They won't want us up there."
"I say 'sod it all' to it and we all use the portals. She never said we couldn't" Negi says. He seems a bit more resolved. "She's always throwing loopholes at us. I say we take advantage of one too."
"What's with the change of attitude?" Kaede asks.
Negi looks at her. "I've realized that we need to be more determined than ever." He motions for Kaede to come closer and he whispers the next bit. "If we don't succeed, we die."
"Right." Kaede agrees.
"So you can go right through that?" Ayaka asks.
"Yes." Fumika answers. She hops down into the portal like it's a hobby. She pops out the other one and lands on the roof, next to the Companion Cube. She runs to the edge and waves at the rest.
Negi is the next to hop in, followed by Asuna, Fumika, and Kaede. Ayaka stands on the edge and looks in. Negi turns away from the portal and pinches his nose. It seems that Ayaka is wearing a skirt today… at least she was wearing panties.
"Move already!" Asuna shouts.
Ayaka clenches her fists. She falls forward and flies out the orange portal. She shrieks as she starts her journey towards the roof of Starbooks. Not a moment later she's on the roof with the others. "Is that what you did the other day to Clyde and me?"
"Yeah. Pretty fun, huh?" Fuka asks.
"No! I think I may owe Clyde an apology, though." Ayaka says. "I can't blame him now. That messes you up the first time." She dusts herself off.
"Now to press the button." Fuka is about ready to step on the switch when she sees a sign on the side of the button that showed that a box goes on the button. She went over to the Weighted Companion Cube and flipped the toggle on again. The Companion Cube picks up and Fuka places it on the button.
A screen nearby activates and a message from GLaDOS plays. "I would like to take the opportunity to remind you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. Your next goal is the library and you need to make it there in one minute. Good luck!
A plan forms in the head of Fuka. "Come on, Fumika!" She grabs The Weighted Companion Cube and runs to the edge of the building.
"What are you doing?" Fumika asks.
--Testchamber 06 End--
From the Desk of Dark Dragon Dave: Listen. I'm getting tired of something. That is always ending these chapters on a cliffhanger style ending. I mean, look at this chapter. I'm trying to keep these things within a shorter word limit. So, dear reader, I pose to you a question. Should I do longer chapters? Leave me a review and along with that please tell me if I should expand these chapters. The test on hand in the current format will, with any luck, be an entire chapter in length.
Also for reviewers, I'm planning a couple of special projects.
