AN: I was in a fluffy mood. I have no other excuse. Takes place three months after Annly and Torinth were born.
I Still Love You:
Astrid examined herself in the mirror again. She sighed sadly as she ran a hand over the stretch marks along her stomach. Though she hadn't looked pregnant during the nine months she'd carried her twins, the day after the birth stretch marks began to appear. She groaned as she put her shirt back on and went over to the bed and began knitting (or trying to knit) a baby sweater. They'd arrived back on birth about two months ago and had immediately been caught up in a swirl of politics, parties, christening ceremonies, healer visits, and the usual chief duties, only tenfold since Hiccup had been away from Berk for so long due to being stranded on Dragon's Edge. On top of all that, snow storms were frequent, more than usual, and along with them came the damage that went along with them. Not to mention the threat of Dragon Hunter's still lurking about.
Astrid knew Hiccup was busy, and he was stressed. He was a chief of a village that was under constant threat of attack, struggling to get through a very harsh winter, and a brand new father. So what if he had to take a break from being a husband? What if he wasn't paying a lot of attention to her? So what if their only interactions were a good morning and good night kiss? Could she really blame him? He was just preoccupied. When things calmed down things would go back to normal, right?
Despite her reasoning with herself, however, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe he just wasn't attracted to her anymore. Watching her give birth could not have been pretty. Watching her mourn what turned out to be a false miscarriage couldn't have been fun either. She hadn't been pleasant during that time. She constantly snapped at him, demanded a lot from him. He stayed with her. But he was obligated to, right? Maybe he didn't want to? And to top it all off, she had these hideous stretch marks appearing all over her body, along with bags under her eyes from loosing sleep to take care of infant twins.
Speaking of which, as she struggled to untangle a knot in the yarn, Torinth began crying softly. Astrid set her knitting aside and walked over to the cradle. She scooped her fussing son up into her arms and began bouncing him.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" she asked as the little boy began chewing on his fists, still fussing. "Are you hungry?" she asked as she settled onto the bed and untied the top of her shirt and began to feed him. She leaned back against the headboard of the bed and closed her eyes as Torinth ate. It was selfish really, wanting to demand some of Hiccup's already thin spread attention, but, she missed him. Yes, she saw him every day, but they hardly spoke, never touched, and only exchanged two half-second kisses right after they awoke and right before they went to bed. She really did miss him.
Pretty soon Torinth finished up, and Astrid fixed her clothing so she could burp him against her shoulder. He soon fell back to sleep and Astrid laid hi back in his cradle. She checked on Annly, who was still sound asleep, before going back to her knitting. There was still a knot in the yarn, and she struggled to undo it. It took several tugs and twists, and she about rubbed her fingertips raw before she finally succeeded in getting it out. She nodded proudly, before realizing that during her struggle, she caused several loops to fall of the needle and cause the knitting to unravel.
Practically growling in anger, Astrid grabbed the knitting and tossed it across the room.
"You can't even make a sweater for one of your two children in the middle of the harshest winter Berk's seen in over a decade, and you wonder why he doesn't want you anymore?" she scolded herself as she drew her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on them. Tears stinging the corners of her eyes. She frowned, huffing angrily. She was being stupid.
As her angry breathing evened out and quieted she could hear the familiar "click, click, click," of Hiccup's prosthetic leg on the floor. She picked up her head in time to see him pick up the pile of yarn and knitting needles. He walked over to the shelf and set the knitting on the top. Astrid laid her head on her knees again.
Please don't let him hear what I said! Please don't let him hear what I said! Please don't let him hear what I said!
The familiar shifting of the mattress signifying that Hiccup had seated himself onto the bed made her cringe slightly.
Please. Please. PLEASE! Don't let him hear-
"Astrid, c'mere."
He heard.
Astrid groaned and shook her head. She was an idiot!
Hiccup set his hand on her back, but she didn't move. He scooted closer to her and gently pushed her braid over to one of her shoulders and kissed the back of her neck. Astrid gasped at the gesture. He ran his hands up and down her back, causing her to relax enough for him to slip his arms around her waist and pull her into his lap. Astrid crossed her arms, unsure of what was happening exactly. Hiccup kissed her just below her ear and then travelled down to the base of her neck.
"Hiccup…?" Astrid asked timidly.
Hiccup ran his hand over her arm from her shoulder until he intertwined his fingers with hers.
"Astrid?" he asked in a quiet voice.
"Yes?"
"Why would you think I don't want you anymore?"
Astrid felt a twinge of regret go through her body. "I don't."
"Then why'd you say it?"
"I-I dunno."
"Astrid…"
"I dunno," Astrid squirmed uneasily. "I-I-I just say stupid stuff when I get overwhelmed or frustrated, you know that."
"And what are you frustrated about?"
"Being a new mother."
"No, that's not it."
"Sure it-"
"Astrid," he gazed firmly and gently at her.
Astrid hung her head and pushed her bangs behind her ear nervously. "I guess…I just…I miss you."
"You see me everyday."
"Yeah, I know, but we don't talk. We don't hang out. I give you a kiss when I wake up, and then I don't see you again until I give you a kiss goodnight and I…I miss just being around you."
Hiccup buried into her shoulder and squeezed her waist. "Astrid, I'm sorry."
"Don't be, you're the chief and you're busy."
"And you're my wife," Hiccup picked his head up and looked into her eyes. "I should be giving you attention and taking care of you."
"I'm a strong girl, I can take of myself, I don't need-"
"Astrid," Hiccup turned around gently laid her on her back on the bed and hovered over her, smoothing her hair. "It's just me here, you don't have to be strong or invincible around me." He leaned down and kissed her forehead.
Astrid closed her eyes and let out a satisfying sigh as she began to run her fingers through his hair. "I know I don't, but with everything that's going on right now, I don't want to overwhelm you or add more burdens to your plate."
"Burden?" Hiccup chuckled. "Astrid, listen-" he kissed the tip of her nose, "there are a lot of things I have to deal with that I would qualify as being burdens, but-" he planted a small kiss on her lips, "Making out with my wife is not one of them," he kissed her on the lips again, "I would take this over pretty much anything else I have to do as chief any day."
Astrid laughed softly as he began kissing her neck again.
"Wah! Wah! Wah!" Annly began crying, and soon Torinth joined in. Hiccup sighed, aggravated, and sat up.
"Right on cue."
Astrid laughed as she stood up and walked to Annly's cradle, assuming she was hungry, and her motherly instincts proved her right. Astrid sat on the bed to feed her, as Hiccup tended to Torinth, who just needed a diaper change. After Annly had finished, Astrid settled Annly into her cradle and kissed her cheek. As she stood up, she felt a set of strong arms close around her waist.
"Okay, c'mere you," Hiccup picked her up and tossed her onto the bed again and leaned over again to kiss her. "We have some unfinished business."
"Let's do remember that our children are still in here," Astrid reminded him.
"Oh, we don't have to do anything like that, don't worry," Hiccup said as he kissed her cheek.
"So what are we doing?"
"I'm trying to show how much I still love and want you," Hiccup answered as he intertwined his fingers with hers. "And I want you to just enjoy it."
"Hm," Astrid sighed as he caressed shoulder. "That shouldn't be too difficult."
