REPOSSESSION
By: Deranged-Insanity

Chapter Seven
ASPECTS OF PAIN

It was again 5:55 am the next day.

Fuji woke up without anymore using the help of an alarm clock. Slowly, he sat up and gently moved out of the bed. Tezuka was still sleeping and he didn't want to wake him. He preferred to jog on his own, for once to be out of Tezuka's shadow. Not that he was so tired of it but because he wanted to give space to the man. It was his fault why Tezuka's mood suddenly darkened and things might become better if he would distance himself for a while.

After changing to his jogging attire, Fuji went out of the room and performed Tezuka's morning ritual as a continuation of their dare. It was also a good excuse to be alone and to ponder of many things especially those things that Eiji has told him. There was something and that's what he wanted to figure out.

As soon as Fuji exited the room, Tezuka's eyes fluttered open. He stirred and rolled to his side quietly. He really didn't plan on jogging with Fuji that day. He thought, maybe if he would let Fuji be on his own, something would dawn on him… hopefully. And if nothing happened, Tezuka was still more than willing to guide Fuji back to his past, back to their relationship.

Sluggishly, Tezuka stood up and changed his pajamas. He went down quietly and proceeded to the backyard. He was going to do Fuji's routine. First in line was talking to the plants and that is what he would do.

Tezuka sat on his heels and braced his knees. He stared soberly at the plants.

"Good morning." Tezuka greeted gloomily. "I'm back. It's me, Syusuke's special friend, Tezuka." He paused as if listening to what the plants were responding.

"May I ask you something?" Tezuka pretended to hear the plants say yes. "What would you do if the person you love forgets that he loves you too? Would you go right away telling him about your relationship or would you take your time first tracing back the origins of you romance?" He paused and looked down at the ground. "And what would you do if you've already gone desperate? When you've already reached the point when you really miss your loved one badly that you feel like he won't love you anymore and your deeds would likely end unreciprocated,"

With one last sigh, Tezuka lastly said, "Would you still love him?"

He remained quiet, not blinking and just staring hard at the plants. Wait. He thought, Am I really expecting for an answer?

"Of course not, you're just plants! You don't talk!" Tezuka exclaimed in exasperation. He brushed his auburn bangs off his face and clamped it over his forehead.

It was odd, that was the first time he ever felt the strong urge to bang his head on the ground out of utter frustration. Stifling a scream, he lay flat on his back on the grass and stared intently at the sky. The sun has almost risen revealing the sky-blue color of the endless ceiling above him.

The sky. Sky. Serene. Peaceful. Calm. Blue. Eyes. Cerulean eyes. Man. Love. Syusuke.

"Syusuke," Tezuka whispered after figuring out the following words which all fit like a perfect puzzle. He extended his arms above himself and flailed his fingers as if motioning to reach out for the sky. For a few seconds, he did that then sighed for the nth time. Slowly, he lowered his arms like he wanted to give up. It seemed futile. But then, he laughed bitterly.

"Syusuke," He uttered again to no one in particular. "This madness, your amnesia I mean, makes you similar to the sky." He smiled yet his eyes were melancholic. It was a smile which reflected all the loneliness, devastation and frustration he felt. "You are one look away and you're there wherever I go. I just focus my eyes on you and I will see you. But then, no matter how near you are in my sight, I could not… reach you." His voice trailed off turning into a whisper. "I couldn't even tell you how I feel."

Then, a diminutive amount of hope flickered in his hazel eyes, small yet very distinguishable. But if I will ride a plane, somehow I would be able to experience the clouds and I would almost reach you. He sat up. "And that's what I would do."

Quickly getting up, he went back to the house in big, speedy steps with a mark of hope in his determination.


Fuji has finished jogging five laps and he was sitting on a bench to rest. He tried clearing his mind for a while so he could think straightly later on. Yet no matter how he tried shutting down his mind, his thoughts circled on one main theme. Now he was seated relaxed and ready to confront his views.

Tezuka.

Since the time he laid eyes on him, when he already had amnesia, he knew Tezuka could be trusted. And the silent man was the one who was taking care of him, guiding and helping him to repossess his memories. The only friend who visited him in the hospital who was so concerned about him, the one who stood by him, almost everything he could remember… well, so far, it was all Tezuka.

And, the way Tezuka calls his name, his given name. Were they really that close to be in a first name basis? Tezuka's amber orbs always have that sincere and passionate emotion in them as if telling him something, something still unfathomable and unknown to him.

One more thing that's bothering him was Eiji's words. Eiji was talkative yet everything he says has meaning, most of the time true. He mentioned something about same sex relationships.

What on earth does it mean? He could only guess. And his guess was,

Does he and Tezuka…

..

.


The sun wasn't up yet when the old Seigaku regulars found themselves settled in the living room except for their buchou and tensai. They were all affected by the sudden tension between the two.

"Where are they?" Kawamura asked first.

"There is an 89 chance that Fuji went to jog this morning and 75 probability that Tezuka went away too though the chance that he went after Fuji was only 43 due to the tension between them." It was Inui speaking as if reading from a report.

"I'm worried of Tezuka." Oishi stated seriously.

Eiji fidgeted on his seat nervously. "Nya! I'm worried of Fujiko too." The time limit of his punishment was only for a day so he could already talk freely.

"Both of them are confused, Fuji especially since he can't remember anything." Momo pointed out.

Kaido hissed. "But Buchou is having a hard time too."

"Yes, it is really hard for him. He's with Fuji yet he can't even touch him." Oishi added.

"Should we do something?" Ryoma asked a hint of concern in his tone.

"It would be better if we stay out of it." Oishi answered.

Inui adjusted his eyeglasses. "Plus, in 3 out of 5 cases where people who are not involved get involved in a situation, the dilemma only gets worse."

"So?" Ryoma asked indifferently.

"It just means that we should only wait. If they ask for help then that would be the only time that we should intrude." Oishi answered again. "They do things on their own and in the end they will also make it through."

Everybody fell silent. The reunion wasn't turning as jolly as it should be. Just then, footsteps were heard coming from the stairs. Coach Ryuzaki was already standing in front of them, beaming.

"Was there a sunrise party? How come I wasn't invited?"

One by one, the old regulars stood up and proceeded to the dining room for breakfast. Oishi and Eiji passed by her direction seeing the befuddled expression on their coach's face.

"It's okay, Coach. It wasn't a really fun party after all." Oishi said.

Eiji bounced lightly on his feet. "We just had a serious boys' session."

"Oh," The old woman just uttered. He turned 90 degrees and took her position in the dining room. Before she could even take another step, somebody entered the room in hasty yet dignified steps.

"Gokigenyou, Coach." A male smooth authoritative voice greeted.

"Good morning, Tezuka." The old woman greeted back.

Tezuka bowed his head once, quickly went upstairs to change his clothes and hurriedly went back downstairs to eat breakfast. His disposition has changed. He went to his place in the dining table and sat quietly like he used to while waiting for their meals to be served. He wore his stoic expression and remained silent.

But not for long when his friends started interrogating him.

"Where have you been?" Coach Ryuzaki was the one who asked as she took her place on the main seat.

"I was just outside thinking… and talking to the plants."

"Really? Talking to the plants??" Momo asked, flabbergasted.

Tezuka's brows crinkled. "That's what Syusuke does every morning."

Everybody nodded their heads meaning that they have understood what he was talking about.

"Where's Fuji?" Inui scrutinized like a police officer.

"Went jogging, I presume."

"You didn't jog with him?" Kawamura asked.

"No."

Oishi eyed his friend carefully, measuring each of Tezuka's movements and expressions. "You seem to be in a better state now." He figured out since his friend wasn't answering them with his usual 'Aaah' and 'Hn.'

The glow of optimism he felt a while ago returned. "I am."

After the brief interrogation of Tezuka's whereabouts, the meals were already served to them and they all ate in silence. Fuji still hasn't returned.

"Nya, I wonder where Fujiko is? He should be back by now."

"Don't worry, he'll return." Tezuka retorted with assurance. I know he will.


Tezuka was back in their room. He was seated by the bed's edge scanning the photos in Fuji's camera. He found their pictures previously when they were swimming. There were five pictures of him in different angles and different shots. He counted. Then the pictures and other sceneries Fuji has taken when they were on their way to the rest house. He has about ten pictures in it, he counted also.

He turned off the camera and set it on top the bedside table. He removed his eyeglasses then scratched his eye with his hands. He remembered seeing Fuji yesterday lying on their bed, face covered with a pillow.

Oh, damn… what have I done? What was I thinking being so cold to Fuji yesterday?

He breathed deeply and silenced. Did he just hear Fuji's voice downstairs? He stood up and grabbed Fuji's camera as he went to see his beloved.

"Fujiko! Where have you been?" It was Eiji, unmistakably.

"I went jogging and… I think I lost track of time." There was a pause. "Have you eaten breakfast already?"

"Yeah," Kawamura answered. "But, I've made sushi for you."

"Wow. Thanks." The tensai answered half-heartedly.

"Er, it's a wasabi sushi. Especially for you," Kawamura said trying to induce some bright emotion from Fuji.

"That's great." Fuji answered again, unenthusiastically.

"Nya, it was Tezuka's idea!" Eiji added.

Fuji's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

Kawamura and Eiji looked at each other. It wasn't really Tezuka's idea. But how could they miss the sudden curiosity in Fuji's tone just by the mere mention of the captain's name.

"Yes." The ever so familiar velvety stern voice said.

"Told 'ya!" Eiji winked at Fuji and dragged Kawamura back to the living room to give some room for the two.

Fuji made his way to the dining room to grab some breakfast. Tezuka followed him.

"I was worried when you weren't back yet."

"But I will be back." Fuji answered him in between chews of sushi, his eyes focusing on his food.

"I know. That's why I've asked them to prepare something for you." Noticing that Fuji wasn't all focused to him, Tezuka held Fuji's camera in front of him and clicked. The shutter sounded finally capturing Fuji's attention.

Fuji looked up; a frown could be seen on his face indicating an expression of surprise. "Hey," He broke into a tiny smile. "You took my picture!"

"Well, our dares aren't over yet, right? And what was your favorite hobby again, I forgot?"

"Right." Fuji laughed. Did Tezuka just actually throw off a joke? "You've finally decided to take the punishment seriously. That's new."

"Yes." Tezuka smiled genuinely and then he paused. When he noticed that Fuji started eating again, taking his concentration off him, he sucked his breath before speaking. "And I'm sorry."

Fuji looked up revealing his azure orbs. His sushi about to be placed in his mouth remained in his grasp. "For what?"

"For yesterday,"

Fuji continued eating. "It's okay. I'm sorry too that I've annoyed you."

"No, it's not you."

Fuji scoffed. "Yeah, right. Why are you so good to me?"

Fuji's question was unanswered as his camera's flash went on and off when Tezuka took his pictures one after another.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just being you." Tezuka replied, moving in various directions to take Fuji's different angles. "Taking pictures and teasing people… annoying them, the more appropriate term."

Fuji laughed, he stood up. "Come on. Give that back to me, Tezuka." He walked towards the taller man's direction and tried getting the camera from him.

"No. I'm not done yet." There was a smile in his lips and happiness in his tone.

"Give it to me." Fuji flailed his arms trying to get his camera from Tezuka who raised it above the tensai's reach.

"I won't."

Fuji stood on his toes. "Come on… give it to me." Fuji jumped and got hold of the camera but still wasn't able to get it. Tezuka's grip was tight. He landed back on his feet accidentally stepping on Tezuka's toes. The tensai lost his balance and knocked down the buchou. He shifted his weight and also lost his balance.

The camera fell out of his grip.

"The camera!"

Two pairs of hands went after the camera. Fuji safely got it, he smiled triumphantly. "Yes!" But too bad, he and Tezuka also fell on the floor. Preventing the camera from colliding with the floor, Fuji neglected protecting his body. Tezuka wrapped his arms around the tensai. There was a loud THUD! as his back hit the hard floor while Fuji remained safe in his arms.

"Ow!" Fuji and Tezuka moaned in pain.

Both men were frozen and their eyes shut as they stayed lying down the floor with Fuji being protectively shielded by Tezuka's strong arms pulling him tightly towards his chest.

Fuji was lying facedown on Tezuka's chest, barely moving. His eyes tightly shut. He felt a sudden jolt of electricity in his body and his heart was beating wildly in his chest. A brief throbbing sensation invaded his head as he heard voices speaking words he couldn't comprehend, all in his head. It was the same sensation he felt when he saw the mistletoe last time, the first day he set foot in the rest house. It was a telltale sign of seeing or feeling a memory. But he didn't see anything because he felt it.

He carefully pushed himself up off Tezuka's body but the latter's arms were still tightly looped around him. When he attempted to stand up, Tezuka's arms tugged him back forcefully. Fuji was pulled back to Tezuka's hug and their lips accidentally collided. A kiss. It was his and Tezuka's lips.

The world stopped spinning. The time stopped and everything else faded.

Fuji felt like an ice being doused in fire, a newly molded melted metal soaked into water to harden. Each beat of his heart felt like a thousand pulse compressed into one loud heartbeat. His eyes were wide, shocked, but at the same time familiar of the emotion that was overpowering him. Like a déjà vu. Tezuka's hug and kiss felt so familiar, almost like a part of him that was lost and so his body was longing for it greatly. It was intense. It was crazy. The warmth coming from Tezuka's body, his arms around him and their lips together felt like an energy giving him life.

He recognized the feeling but it still remained unknown to him. He clung to the sensation wanting for more, wanting to remember it forever. But he could not; his mind did not permit him. It took some time before his instincts told him to get off and he did. He sat on the floor, fingers lightly brushing his parted lips.

"What happened?" Oishi suddenly appeared on the doorway, very concerned. The rest of their friends were behind him trying to get a look of Tezuka and Fuji's position on the floor. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Tezuka answered softly, ashamed to look at the tensai.

Fuji woke up from his reverie as he heard a smooth masculine voice speaking. "Syusuke… are you all right?"

He opened his eyes. "I-I'm okay…" He stood up weakly. "I-I j-just felt a little dizzy a while ago. G-gomenasai, Tezuka, gomen." He hurriedly stated and ran out of the room avoiding all the questioning stares of his friends.

"Fujiko!" Eiji tried running after his friend but Oishi held him back.

"Let's just let him rest for a while." Oishi said.

Eiji pouted sadly. "Okay."

"Hunger might have caused him to feel dizzy." Inui added.

Tezuka knew better. Fuji was perfectly fine a while ago when he was eating until that incident. He frowned. Once again, he acted very carelessly but he won't deny the fact that he liked what happened. Still, it wasn't right. "I'll go after him." He said, walked out of the scene and followed the tensai in their room.

Tezuka reached their room. He knocked. "Syusuke, may I come in?"

"Hai." A voice responded softly and weakly.

Tezuka opened the door and went inside. He found the tensai sitting on the bed, slumping, and his head was supported by his hands, his bangs covering his eyes obscuring it from view.

"I—"

"No." Fuji bit his lower lip, his face still covered by his hair. "Please don't say you're sorry, Tezuka."

Tezuka looked down to the floor. He inhaled nervously and moved towards the bed. He sat down beside the tensai yet he obtained a couple of inches space between them. "Are you okay?"

"I…" Fuji buried his face on his palms deeper. "…don't know."

Tezuka gave up and decided to no longer press on the matter. It was his fault once again. He motioned to leave.

"Wait,"

"Yes?"

"I just want to ask you something." Fuji's voice turned into a whisper.

"What is it?"

Even more softly than his previous tone, Fuji asked, "How does it feel to kiss someone you like?"

"Does it matter?" Tezuka could no longer resist himself.

"Yes, a lot."

Tezuka frowned, not being able to follow Fuji's train of thoughts. "If it was about a while ago," His voice was lost. "It was my fault. I'm sorry."

Fuji finally looked up and Tezuka almost gasped when he saw a mixture of distraught, confusion, shock and desolation in his blue orbs. His serene face was no longer serene but agitated. "I told you not to say sorry!" He yelled.

Tezuka didn't answer.

Pressing his eyelids together tight, Fuji sighed. "Just answer me, please. I need to know. As far as I could remember, I don't know how it feels. And I'm confused."

Tezuka gulped measuring his words. "It was the nicest thing that I've ever felt."

It took a moment before Fuji spoke again. "And how does it feel to kiss your love?"

This is it. In some form, he needed to express how he felt towards Fuji and their relationship. No longer straining himself, Tezuka looked up to the ceiling and sighed as he tries to remember how he felt everytime he and Fuji share a kiss. "It was the best feeling I've ever felt. The world stops, everything stops, his presence only matters. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel complete." Tezuka closed his eyes. When would he feel that emotion again?

Fuji exhaled deeply. "I understand."

"I felt that way a while ago." Tezuka said in a gentle and careful manner as a start of expressing himself to the tensai. But Fuji didn't bite back. He swallowed bitterly. "Why? Why do you ask?"

The corners of Fuji's lips tightened. "B-Because," He shook his head slowly. "Because…" He clamped his hands over his head.

Tezuka walked towards him. "What's the matter?"

"Ow!" Fuji clutched his head tightly. His head was throbbing badly, like vertigo. Everything was spinning and spinning until everything became blurry. He felt nauseous. "M-My… head… hurts! OW!" His knees gave out. He was practically kneeling on the carpeted floor, his hands clutching tightly his head, his fingers entwined with his hair. "Help me… It h-hurts…"

Tezuka was shocked and anxious. He didn't know what to do. He kneeled beside his boyfriend and held Fuji's shoulders. "Syusuke, what's wrong? Tell me, what's wrong?" As Fuji's face came into view, Tezuka was completely shocked to see how pale he looked, his lips even more lacking color. It was a ghastly view.

He never imagined that he would be seeing Fuji in this state.

Fuji writhed in pain. "Ow! Help! It hurts!" He continued lamenting, his hands still clutching his head and fingers still entangled with his brown hair.

"HELP! HELP US! OISHI, HELP!" Tezuka shouted then he turned again to Fuji. "What do you feel? Where exactly does it hurt?"

"I-I don't know! SHIT! It just hurts!" Fuji bellowed in pain. His eyes widened as voices started buzzing in his ears and images in black and white flashed in his mind. His head throbbed even more as flashes of memory played in his head. "Voices… I hear voices. Ow! It still hurts!"

"Voices? What do the voices say?"

Fuji began to sob. "I don't fucking know! I just hear them, I can't understand!" He became breathless. "And… p-people… I s-see… many… people."

Suddenly, the door burst open. In came Coach Ryuzaki and the rest of the team.

"Tezuka! What's happening?" Coach Ryuzaki asked frantically. She was beside Fuji trying to see his condition.

"I-I don't know. We were talking and his head hurt suddenly."

Fuji continued writhing in pain, moaning and almost crying. His head continued to throb. "Ow! My h-head!"

"Fuji, tell me… what do you feel?" Coach Ryuzaki asked the pained man.

"V-voices, I hear voices. I-I see people… m-many people!" He began sobbing. The pain was really intolerable that he was already writhing on the floor violently.

His head felt like it was going to burst or was going to be cut in half. That was the pain he was feeling, but the more painful part was the visions he was seeing.

It was a foreign painful feeling.

There were murmurs at first and buzzing. Then the voices got louder and louder, speaking all at once in incomprehensible dialogues. Then there were different bizarre images of people, events, and occasions. It was his memories all trying to get inside his head at once. There were black and white images of his family, friends and Tezuka. Almost everything that he saw was images of Tezuka. The images swirled in his head incessantly, the voices also still there. The pain was unbearable, excruciating… double it by confusion and apprehension. He felt like he wanted to die. In his desperation to alleviate the pain in his head for€ even just a little bit, he started hitting his head on the floor.

"Fuji! NO!" Eiji could no longer stand seeing his best friend being tortured by pain. He ran to him and stopped his friend from hitting his head for another time.

Meanwhile, Coach Ryuzaki got a sedative and a pain killer. He let Fuji drink this. "Here, take these."

Fuji drank the medicine in full difficulty. Gradually, the pain lessened but did not totally vanish. The sound and images were still there haunting him. As the sedative started to take effect, his vision blurred then darkened.

Fuji passed out.

"Fuji… Fujiko!" Eiji nudged his friend.

"Don't worry. It's just the sedative taking effect. He's just unconscious." Inui explained.

With Tezuka and Oishi's help, they managed to bring Fuji back to bed. Finally, he was no longer in pain but the expression left in his face says that he was still distressed.

"We'll call a doctor." Coach said and one by one, everybody left the room except for Tezuka.

He sat beside Fuji's bed watching the unconscious man's chest rise up and down. He brushed Fuji's bangs off his face and caressed his face lightly.

"Syusuke…" He just said and nothing more. Because this time, he was totally out of words and thought. All he wanted was for Fuji to get better, nothing else, even if it meant leaving behind his love for him.


Random Notes

1 So, there another update! A cliffhanger! Hahaha! Hopefully, this wouldn't be my last update before classes start. Hm what do you think will happen to Fuji? It seems like Fuji was finally starting to remember his memories, let's see if he would finally remember his love for Tezuka. So, continue reading. I'm almost halfway done with this fic. :D

2 Please do leave a review. Don't hesitate to click that button there and give me a review. I want to know how you felt or what you think of this chapter. Send me flames if necessary.

3 Answer for Reviews! XD

EvCaCeLy, CrypticButterfly: Thank you for supporting my fanfic! It really drives me to continue this story. XD Regarding the Golden Pain, I actually love them so I'm giving mixed signals if they are a couple or not in this fic since this is mainly a TeFu fic. But don't worry, I would also love them to be a couple and I might tell something about them in the coming chapters. ;D

FujItachiHa: Here is my update, right before June 10! I'm looking forward to your fic, update soon too. :

imjustnobody: You were right with your prediction before. Eiji was the key to Fuji and Tezuka's relationship! Hehe.

Ms. Cherry Blossoms: There, no more punishment for Eiji. :3 Thanks for being one of my avid readers. Hm, so you're still gonna take the college entrance tests, good luck! Because, as what our teacher always says (rolls my eye), "it will determine your future". Haha. XD