I'm back! So, last time we had the little can't or don't situation, and I think it's safe to say we all know what the right answer is. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own EWW. The OC(s) are mine though.


Emma POV

He is way too perfect! Sand castles, ice cream, bowling, you name it we did it today! At this rate I'm going to look like the boring parent by Friday!

It's not like I mind Jax being part of Kelsea's life, but he's made today ridiculous! I'm just glad there wasn't a fair nearby...

"You tired?" I head him ask. I jump a little, removing my head from the window where it was resting. I shake my head.

"No. Not really. Just... thinking. It's pretty late though."

It is 11:15, almost midnight. I tried to have him take us home at Kelsea's bedtime, but he insisted and she begged. So, here I am. My daughter is out cold in the back seat and my, whatever we are, is driving us home. Great. No more distractions. If he tried something I could do literally nothing about it. I really hope he forgot about the whole, 'can you not love me or do you not' thing.

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I just, wanted to spend as much time with her as possible." He frowns a little, keeping his eyes on the road. I sigh, propping my head up on my hand and looking at him.

"Don't apoligize Jax. I get it; she's your daughter. I may have missed a lot, but you missed more. And you want to make up for it."

"She's not the only one I'm trying to make up for it with." He says, and I already know what he means. Me. He feels guilty about me. And he wants to fix it.

"Jax I..."

"Don't try to tell me I have nothing to feel sorry about. We both know that's a lie. I left Emma. I put you both through so much. And you know as well as I do that you haven't forgiven me. Building a relationship with her isn't the hard part; rebuilding one with you is. Because I can't just accept things between us being like this."

We fall back into silence for a few moments, and it hurts. I miss him. Now that it's late night and I'm too tired to lie to myself, I can admit it. I really, really miss him. I can't keep lying. To him, or myself.

No more hiding. And no turning back.

"Shouldn't." I whisper, eyes shut. I can feel his eyes on me for a moment.

"What?"

I look at him, head tilted back, eyes at an angle where I'm almost looking up at him, and elaborate.

"When we were on the beach, I said that I can't love you. But you said that can't and shouldn't are too close. You asked me if I can't, or I don't. And neither of those are true. The answer is shouldn't. I really, really shouldn't."

The smile that crosses his face is so big that it becomes contagious. We're driving down some random street in the dead of night, just smiling in silence. This hasn't happened since, god. Before I knew I was pregnant. Ha, I still remember that day. It's kind of bittersweet. It was July 30th, 2018. Yes, I remember the day.


Flashback

"Andi, I'm fine. I do not need to go to the doctor. It's probably just some stomach bug!" I argued as my best friend dragged me into Lily's office with the help of Jessie.

"Yeah, well mood swings and missing your period are not stomach bug signs! We're worried Em." Jessie countered.

"Girls! Is something wrong?" Lily had asked. I shook my head no, but Andi was already talking.

"Something's wrong with Em. She's throwing up in the morning, hasn't gotten her period, is having mood swings, and has somehow started eating ever stranger." She said, wrinkling her nose.

"Hey!" I shouted, feeling extremely defensive.

"See what we mean!" Jessie said, using her free hand to gesture toward me. I rolled my eyes.

"Alright. Emma, have a seat on the exam bed." Lily instructed. I let out a sigh, but did what I had been told. I felt very tired, and I kind of wanted to know if they were right or not.

"Okay, so I have a feeling I may know what is going on with you, but first I have to ask. Emma, have you and Jax done anything, well umm... you know, in the last two to six weeks?" She asked awkwardly, immediately heating my face up.

"I umm. Why does that matter?" I responded, knowing the look on my face had to say it all. I just knew I was bright red. But to be fair, that was a very private question. Especially since Andi and a thirteen year old girl were in the room.

"Because well, I think that based on your symptoms you could be... pregnant." She said, giving me an awkward smile. My eyes widened to the size of golfballs.

"Wh-what! I, no! We have been really, really careful. There's no way!" I stammered, fully in denial. I was nineteen! There was no way I thought I could care for a child.

"Well, hunny, hate to break it to you, but it is a possibility. I'll have to give you a test to see."


I still find it hard to believe that I was in such denial. I was scared. Very scared. And it wasn't even proven yet.

We pull into the driveway and I let out a yawn, unbuckling my seatbelt. Jax is staying over, since he, being an imbecile, promised to be here when Kelsea wakes up. She can wake up at six am just by setting her mind to it. So, yeah. He's staying over.

I get out of the car and open the door to the backseat. Carefully, I remove Kelsea from her car seat and walk toward the door, with Jax following.

"Ugh. My keys are in my back pocket and I don't have a free hand. Hey, um. Could you grab them for me?" I ask, knowing good and well what will come of this. He nods and carefully reaches for my pocket.

"This is a given, but I'm warning you. Touch me and I'll hurt you." I warn. Within moments he's unlocking the door, and I'm personally taking this oppurtunity to thank god he isn't clumsy. If he'd touched me, even by accident, I would've lost my control.

Completely.

We walk through the door and I set Kelsea down on the couch for a second. Quietly, I walk into the kitchen and get a cup out of the cabinet.

"Want anything?" I ask, my head buried in the cabinets, looking for a tea mug that doesn't make me think of him. Oh, screw it. I'll just use any old one.

"Just water."

I grab a mug and a glass from the cabinet and set down the mug, filling the glass with ice water. Once I've handed it to Jax I cast a spell to make my chamomile tea. I am way too tired to spend ten minutes making a glass of tea.

We sit down with our drinks in silence, trying not to make eye contact. Eventually he clears his throat, signaling that he is going to speak. Oh brother.

"So, she can just, wake up whenever? Just by trying?"

"Yeah. It's kind of strange, but she wouldn't be the first person to. When I was her age I used to do it all the time. Especially after my mom got sick." I say, frowning at the last part.

I see his hand move in the direction of mine for a second, but he stops himself. I know he wants to comfort me, but at this point I know he knows better. I've already yelled at him enough, he doesn't want to make me mad again. Although, he wouldn't. But I know he doesn't want to take that risk.

I get up and put my cup in the sink, talking to him.

"Alright. I'm going to go put her in bed. You can set up on the couch yourself, right? You remember where the spare pillows and all are?"I ask as I rinse my cup out. He mumbles a yes and I hear him walk to the hall to grab the sleeping stuff.

Carefully, I pick Kelsea up and walk to her room. Once we're in I turn on the lamp, giving me just enough light to see. I tuck her in and wrap her teddy bear in her arms, kissing her forehead.

She has always done this thing where she sucks on her bottom lip every once in a while when she sleeps. Every doctor I've ever taken her to says it's strange, but it's not. Jax does the same thing.

I still remember that day. August 13th.

The day I lost him.

Not tonight Emma. Not tonight.

By the time I walk back into the living room Jax is already passed out on the couch. I shake my head with a laugh, noticing when he sucks his bottom lip inside his mouth.

Like father like daughter.

I rest my case.

I should get some sleep. I promised Dad I'd be over tomorrow. Which means Jax will be there. Facing him, Ursula, and Maddie.

This will be interesting.


Jax POV

"Daddy, Daddy! Wake up, wake up!" Kelsea cheers, hopping on the couch. I get out a groan. Partly because I'm tired, and partly because all those TV shows were right. Little knees always do find that spot. Ugh!

"Kelsea. It's early," I complain, sitting up and moving her so that she's not where she was before. She shakes her head and crosses her arms.

"It's eight o'clock. And, Mommy said you have to get up and get ready. We're going to see Grampie Sisco and Grammie Ursuwa!" She says, clapping her hands. I smile and shake my head. She's so adorable. Sometimes with how smart she is I forget she's, kind of, not even four yet.

"Fine. Um, how about you go get changed honey. I, have to get changed." I suggest. Em would kill me if I used magic in front of Kelsea without her permission.

"Okay!"

She runs off to her room and shuts the door. I sigh in relief and get up, casting a spell to change. I decide to just go for a white T-shirt and jeans. Truth be told, I'm scared. I have a feeling Em's Dad may try to kill me. Wouldn't blame him either. And even if he doesn't, there's still Maddie, Ursula, Diego, Andi, and every other person in our group to be scared of. So, no leather today. Or until I've seen all of them at least once to measure the hostility they each have. Have to know the limits before I test them.

Emma comes out of the bathroom in a pale blue dress, jumping a liitle when she sees that I'm basically ready to walk out the door.

"Oh! You're uh, ready. That was quick." She says in surprise. I just chuckle at her shock and give her the 'you know how I got ready look'. Emma spins to look over her shoulder, to see if Kelsea is in her room.

"Oh relax. She didn't see me use magic. You know I'm not dumb enough to defy your direct order."

"Whatever. Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome. So, we're going to your Dad's?" I ask. She nods awkwardly, looking everywhere but where my eyes are. I should've known her openness last night wouldn't last. Now she's going to go back to avoiding me like the plague. The same way she did after what I did yesterday morning. The difference is, this time I didn't do anything.

"Mommy! I need help! I can't pick a good outfit!" Kelsea screams. Emma and I just give each other the 'what the actual heck' look, laughing moments later.

"Alright Kels. I'm coming." She says, walking toward Kelsea's bedroom, while I just chuckle and stare.

Day has barely started and I'm already seeing the consequences of the time she spends with her aunts.

And yes, that includes my whackadoo kid sister.

This will be one heck of a day.


Donezo! Another chapter in the book. Anyone else stoked for the Alonso-VanPelt family brunch? I know I am.

Lostbutnotyetfound13: Yeah, it does suck. But, at least when she's tired she can admit to missing him. It's a start. Thanks!

angelcreature13: Yeah. She's a hider alright! She takes her time. But, slow and steady builds tension! And that little mishap won't be the last time Jax pushes a little harder than he ought to. He's stubborn! And honestly, until I reread the book, I forgot about Phandi too! :D I needed a filler, and that certainly works! Thanks!

Kitty13: What is up with all the 13s! XD! Thank you for the compliment, it means a lot. Is this soon enough for you? ;)