We'll set close to one another,
Up one street and down the other,
We'll have a time, oh brother,
Settin' the woods on fire

The Shinobi's Guide to Sentai
By Kaori

When we last left our hapless heroes they were staring stupidly up at the buildings. Well, that's not an entirely accurate statement as Shino is physically incapable of looking stupid without being on drugs.

"Who's there? Show yourselves!" Lady Amyo Mama demanded.

"We're right up here!" a voice yelled back.

"We can't see you." S-Green said.

"Oh, sorry." another voice called. Two heads, one wearing a red ninja hood and the other a blue ninja hood, appeared over the side of the building behind Amyo Mama. "Is that better?"

"Much, thanks!"

"Idiots…" groaned S-White.

"If we're so stupid how come you're the ones that got captured?" snapped S-Red. S-Blue smacked him upside the head. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You're not supposed to taunt your allies!"

"But I thought I was supposed to be the asshole-ish one?"

"No, no, that's his job." S-Blue pointed to S-White.

"HEY!" protested S-White.

"Oh hush, you know it's true!"

"Hello! Attention back to me now!" glared Lady Amyo Mama. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm still killing your friends here!" S-Blue and S-Red managed to look sheepish.

"FLASH REFRAIN!" S-Red waved his arm causing a spear of fire to shoot through the air. Amyo Mama, with a dexterity unusual for her size, deftly dodged out of the way. S-Blue wasn't going to let her relax though.

"HUNTING SLASH CYCLE!" A cyclone appeared and rushed through the street, seemingly chasing Amyo Mama as she frantically tried to get out of the way. As a side effect, the miasma was also sucked away, allowing the other four Super Shinobi to move.

"We're free!" cheered S-Green.

"I hadn't noticed." Deadpanned S-Pink. "Let's send that fat lady flying!"

"Combine your attacks and defeat her!" a disembodied voice said.

"Kamen? Where are you hiding?" S-White looked around.

"I'm at home watching the Young and the Shurikenless." Kamen replied. "Mirei's long lost twin sister who had previously been in a coma in a desert hospital has just revealed that she is actually a man and has been secretly cutting off pieces of Mirei's hair so he could finally have enough to cover his premature balding."

"Oh please, like nobody saw that coming. It was so obvious from the beginning." Snorted S-Red, causing everyone to look at him funny.

"I've had just about enough of you Super Shinobi! Now die!" Lady Amyo Mama charged towards them, angrily.

"Now! Do it now!" yelled Kamen.

"SUPER SHINOBI WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ATTACK!" yelled the Super shinobi (with the noted exception of S-Black much to Kamen's disappointment). The Dynascavenger General stopped in her tracks and stared in abject horror at the obscenely large, glowing katamari that was barreling towards her. Unable to get out of the way, she was completely swallowed up in it and twenty-seconds later, it exploded impressively in a burst of orange light.

The resulting mushroom cloud could be seen all the way in Rai no Kuni.

"We won!" cheered S-Green and S-Red, posing. S-Pink and S-Blue smacked them both upside the head.

"What the hell was that?" blinked S-White, still not sure what had just happened or why. "And who the hell are you?" he pointed at S-Blue and S-Red accusingly.

"You guys first!" demanded S-Red. Needing no further excuse to get out of the ridiculous Super Shinobi uniforms (with the exception of S-Green who was a little sad about it) the four original Super Shinobi de-transformed.

"Ha! I told you the one in white was Neji! You owe me five hundred ryou!" S-Blue said smugly to S-Red.

"Yeah, yeah…" grumbled S-Red. Both de-transformed into…

"Ino-san and Kiba-san?" blinked Lee. Shino looked annoyed but then again that could be because he was missing The Young and the Shurikenless.

"Yeah!" nodded Kiba. "This guy who said he was dead gave me this cool red crystal and then he told me to find Ino and give her this blue one."

"Had I known it wasn't just a pretty fashion accessory I'd never have taken it." Grumbled Ino. "Spandex is so 1980's."

"How can you say that! Spandex is forever!" cried Lee.

"I'm going home." Said TenTen, before Lee could really go into a rant.

"I'll walk you there." Neji said hurriedly. Not wanting to go straight home with Hanbi jonesing for a tea party. Damned if he'd put that bonnet on again.

Nothing interesting happened for three days, much to everyone's relief. Predictably everyone but the Hokage and the Super Shinobi had forgotten about the mass destruction that surely must have happened but nobody could prove it if they tried.

"When the toters come to your party, they will cause you plenty of stress. 'Cause before your party half over, you ain' gon' have nothing left! (1)" Naruto sang happily on his way to meet his team for training.

"Psst…psst…"

Naruto stopped walking and looked around. Seeing no one, he shrugged and continued on his way.

"PSSSSSST!"

Again Naruto stopped to look around and again saw no one. Once more he started walking.

"HEY YOU IN THE KILL-ME ORANGE JUMPSUIT! OVER HERE!" This time when Naruto looked there was a hand waving frantically at him from a dark alley.

Having no real reason not to look, Naruto walked over to the darkened alley and was immediately pulled into it.

People passing by the area heard scuffling, swearing, and a chicken clucking before everything went quiet. Then Uzumaki Naruto walked out of the alley, dusted his clothes off and went on his merry way.

Or did he?

What foul plot is afoot? You'll have to wait until the next episode!

1) "Toters" is one of the latest social commentary songs in the Bahamas (the last really good one was Civil Servants and that was almost banned because the civil servants in question got annoyed). Everybody loves it because it's true, but at the same time most people would never admit to being a toter. A toter is a person that goes to social events and parties, and then takes foil-covered plates of food home with them for themselves and other people. Toters are also known to take six-packs of soda, bottles of beer and wine, and the occasional gallon bottle of homemade fruit punch.