Author's Note: Please see previous notes. Our story continues a few episodes after Twilight with residual memories continuing to surface and play with everyone's lives. This one takes place right after Proving Ground. Let me know what you think! Enjoy!
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"Trip?" T'Pol asked as her door opened.
"I thought I'd walk with you to dinner," Trip smiled at her as he stepped inside her place.
T'Pol watched him walk inside and shut the door behind him.
Trip walked in a tight circle and then stopped to look at her.
"I thought we would just meet there," T'Pol said softly.
Trip chuckled.
"What?" She asked, surprised.
"Surrre, you're not avoiding me," Trip smirked.
"I am not avoiding you," T'Pol said as she stepped toward him.
"You're not, are you?" Trip asked, challenging her.
"No," T'Pol answered.
"And it has nothing to do with Sim?" Trip asked.
"It does not," T'Pol lied.
Trip stepped closer to her and placed his hands on her hips.
"I know what he said to you, and I know that you kissed him," Trip said, registering the shock on T'Pol's face.
She said nothing.
"And I know him saying that I loved you has scared the pants off ya," Trip said.
T'Pol swallowed hard.
"I do love you," Trip said.
T'Pol's eyes shifted down to his chin.
"And I know that any feelings are a lot for you to handle, so I'm not going to keep telling you, or expect you to say it back," Trip said as he met her eyes.
Trip then leaned forward and kissed her forehead before he took his hands off her hips and stepped back.
"You ready for…?"
"Vulcans don't express…love," T'Pol said uncomfortably.
"I figured," Trip nodded.
"A bond that usually exists between Vulcan partners means there is no need to use the term," T'Pol clarified as she turned and walked toward the window; her back to him.
Trip closed his eyes and knew, instantly, that she would never have that with him. He knew that knowledge was something she had been wrestling with and had finally shared with him. He knew all of this because he knew her.
"And that's upsetting to you," Trip surmised.
She said nothing in return and he placed a hand on his hip.
"I'm sorry that you are missing out on that part of your culture because you are with me," Trip said honestly.
"Trip," T'Pol said as she turned to face him.
"T'Pol, if I could…" Trip started.
"I would choose you over a Vulcan mating bond," T'Pol said, interrupting him.
"Excuse me?" Trip asked as he watched her walk toward him.
"I regret we cannot share in a bond, but that is not what is upsetting me," T'Pol said softly.
Trip's eyebrows furrowed.
"What is upsetting me is that I need to become more comfortable with verbal and physical affection because we do not have a bond," T'Pol admitted. "It is a struggle for a Vulcan."
"Darlin, I'm not expecting you to kiss me in a corridor or whisper sweet nothings in my ear in the turbo lift," Trip clarified. "And I know you, the lack of a bond is upsetting."
"Only in that I now need to find ways to compensate," T'Pol explained.
"I'm not asking you to compensate," Trip said, exasperated.
"I know," T'Pol said.
Trip looked at her confused.
"I want to share my feelings with you, but it is much easier to do so with a bond," T'Pol said. "It is not about the sharing, but rather the method of sharing."
"Oh," Trip said.
"I want you to know how I feel, and I want to share those feelings with you regularly," T'Pol said. "A bond just makes it less overt. You would walk through each day knowing, implicitly, how I feel about you."
"Oh," Trip repeated.
"I want that overt feeling for both of us but need to find another means to create that," T'Pol said softly. He could tell she had been wrestling with this.
"And what have you decided?" Trip asked, unsure.
T'Pol stepped forward and kissed him passionately.
"I am still unsure," T'Pol whispered. "But, for now, will private physical expressions suffice?"
Trip chuckled and leaned forward to place a quick peck on her mouth.
"Come on, we better get to dinner with Jon before he puts out a ship-wide call for us," Trip smiled at her.
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Jon sat entranced in a story Anna was telling about a hydraulic accident she was in.
"I can't believe the safeties didn't…" Jon said.
"Because we were beta testing they needed to be programmed manually and Jeff missed that on his final check," Anna interrupted.
"You could have been crushed to death," Jon said as he sat back in his chair.
"Almost was," Anna smiled. "But, I'm here, and not too flat as a result. Just a nice scar on my leg as a reminder."
"You didn't have it laser removed?" Jon asked, surprised.
"No," Anna said as she met his warm eyes. "It's a good reminder to be careful in engineering."
Jon returned her smile. Her weekly Leadership meetings had turned more into personal conversations than official meetings. Sure, they started quite official with reports and his assessment of her progress towards her learning goals, but after about fifteen minutes they were talking about themselves.
Tonight, it had only taken ten minutes.
But, there was something about Anna that invited him to relax. She had a nice demeanor, a warm smile, and a congenial attitude that he enjoyed. He only felt this comfortable around Trip. It was both weird and exhilarating to feel this at ease with another crew member, a young woman.
Jon's eye then caught the clock and he knew he was already five minutes late for dinner with Trip and T'Pol. The choice to create and destroy Sim had been hard and it was a weight he still carried with him daily. It had even been a challenge to be around Trip for the first few days; knowing the sacrifice that had occurred to have his friend back. But, today, in conversation with Anna, Jon felt like himself again and that was a nice feeling. He was actually happy he was having dinner with Trip and T'Pol tonight.
"I'm meeting senior staff for dinner," Jon apologized as he watched Anna's face suddenly seem alert.
"Captain, I'm so sorry I've kept you!" Anna said as she jumped up from her chair.
"No, I enjoyed our conversation," Jon said as he also stood. "It's nice to take a break from…all this, and be reminded of our lives back on Earth."
Anna smiled.
"Not that many of us would know what to do when we get back," Anna said as she tucked in her chair.
"Why do you say that?" Jon asked.
Anna looked at him and took a deep breath.
"To be honest," she started. "This mission has been such an adventure, and I have learned so much. I can't imagine being satisfied working in a hydraulics lab again."
Jon chuckled. "You've got the space bug."
"More the adventure bug," Anna smiled back.
"So, my prediction that you are going to stay out here and become a Captain is correct?"
Anna chuckled. "Maybe."
Jon couldn't describe what he felt in that moment. It wasn't pride in being part of her Leadership journey, it wasn't even pride in his role as her Captain. No, his feelings of pride were more…personal, and that scared him. He couldn't have personal feelings for this woman who was seeking his guidance. He couldn't feel anything but professional pride about the beautiful woman who he'd grown to enjoy the company of in the last couple of months. No, it was not something he, as her Captain and superior, was allowed to feel.
"I, uh, better get going," Jon said as he gestured for Anna to walk out ahead of him.
Anna smiled and started to walk before she turned and then looked at him.
"I really do like our talks," she said with a smile before she exited his Ready Room and the door closed behind her.
Jon enjoyed their talks as well and found himself thinking about them throughout the day in a day-dreamy sort of way that made him both happy and uncomfortable. It seemed, as much as he would not like to admit it, he was developing quite the infatuation with his Assistant Chief Engineer. And this, needed to stop.
XXX
"Are you sure?" Travis asked Amanda as she sat down on his bunk.
She took a deep breath and nodded her head.
"How?" Travis asked.
"Do you have super sperm?" Amanda asked, half jokingly.
Travis looked at her annoyed.
"We're both on birth control," Amanda said. "Have you missed a monthly…?"
"No," Travis shook his head. "Especially since we've…I've been careful to not be late."
"I was a couple of days late with mine but there's usually an entire week overlap and…"
"Why were you late?" Travis asked.
"I was planet side after the Captain, Trip and Commander T'Pol went on that undercover mission," Amanda explained. "We were there for a few days keeping everything calm while they worked with the town. My injection was on board. But you are on…"
"Yeah, it's strange," Travis said. "How do you feel about being pregnant?"
"I didn't expect this now," Amanda admitted. "I haven't had this commission long and…"
"Do you want to have the baby?" Travis asked before he gulped.
Amanda looked at him and bit her lip. "Is it insane to say yes?"
Travis chuckled and placed a hand on her knee. "No."
"No, you don't want to…?" Amanda asked, alarmed.
"No, I mean it's not insane," Travis chuckled. "Look, I wasn't expecting this either but…and I can't explain this…but, it just feels like we're meant to do this. Does that sound crazy?"
Amanda laughed. "No, it's crazy we're doing this, but it doesn't feel wrong."
Travis leaned in and kissed her softly. "We're having a baby."
"Oh my god," Amanda gasped. "We're having a baby."
Travis pulled her into his arms and smiled as he held her tight. It really couldn't be explained how she got pregnant but, she was. And, even though they could easily terminate, it felt like that wasn't the right thing to do. He and Amanda, despite the circumstances, were going to have a baby and, shockingly, that knowledge made Travis very happy.
XXX
TBC
