I went to bed the moment I got home from Clarissa's. We didn't do much. We just talked, kissed, smoked weed, and fell asleep. Every time I go there I fall asleep or something. It was nine thirty. Soda was out with Steve and Two-Bit, Darry was out with friends, so that just left me alone to sleep.

I was able to sleep real well that night. I had a dream. I was at the hospital. When I looked down Johnny was laying on the hospital bed.

''Pony, come here. I gotta tell ya somethin','' Johnny said to me. I was amazed Johnny was alive again. I was over come with joy.

''Yeah, Johnnycakes.''

''Ponyboy, it's your fault. Why did I go with ya? Why did you take me? If you wouldn't have messed with Bob's girl I wouldn't be in this mess. If you wouldn't have rushed to save those kids, I would be alive! Hell, if I wasn't your friend my life would be perfect. You ruined my life, Ponyboy Curtis. You killed me!'' Johnny said before dying. My heart fell to my chest.

''I know it's my fault, Johnny. I'm sorry.''

''You should be. I hate ya! You're not golden, you're a useless whore!'' Johnny said then died. I heard the voices in my head laugh.

We tried to tell you ,Ponyboy. It is your fault. Johnny told you himself. No one wants you. Your friends and family can fake it all they want! They hate you. They hate you for just being alive! Leah and Aidan both said.

''Shut up!'' I yelled. They started to chant.

Ponyboy's a murder. Ponyboy's a murderer, they sung over and over again. I ran out of the hospital and saw a bunch of cop cars. Dally was laying on the ground. I rushed over to him.

''Ponyboy- it's your fault. You took me and Johnny's lives, man. We'll get ya!'' Dally said then died. Is that what he would have said if he didn't die right away in the real world?

I saw a light come before me. Johnny and Dally were pointing at me.

''Your fault! Your fault!'' they screamed.

I woke up screaming bloody murder. Soda immediately woke up and Darry rushed to my room.

''Pony, it's okay,'' Soda mussed.

''No it's not. Oh God!'' I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I threw up all over the place.

''Dar, I think he's sick.''

''Yeah, I know Pepsi-Cola. He ain't goin' to school tomorrow. He stays home.''

''What 'bout work?''

''I'll take the day off.''

Hear that you coward? Darry may lose his job because of you! Ruined another person's life.

I cried. Darry picked me up and brought me back to my room. They tried to get me to calm down, but I didn't.

''Pony it's okay.''

''No it ain't Soda. It was horrible.''

''It was just a dream. It's over now.''

I really wanted to listen to Soda when he said it was just a dream, only thing I knew it wan't. That was reality because Johnny and Dally wanted to say that to me. They didn't. I wish they would have so Leah and Aidan didn't have to. Then again they tell em the things I need to heard. Johnny and Dally would have been easy on me. I've had way too many people be easy on me.