Chapter 8:
He rode his bike for over an hour with no particular destination in mind. The only thing he knew for certain was he had to get as far away from Natasha as possible. It wasn't surprising that he ended up at Central Park. The place had ended up being his go to spot when there was a lot on his mind. New York was known as the city that never sleeps so this was the most peaceful place he could find; a place where he could blend in and be alone with his thoughts. The walk in the park was rather nice; it was a bit chilly but not uncomfortably cold and the stars were visible which was rare. Steve replayed the conversation with Natasha over and over again in his head, along with the times they had spent leading up to where they were now.
Steve was no stranger to loneliness but in this moment he has never felt more lonely. He felt betrayed, embarrassed, but more importantly he was disappointed. He almost felt silly for feeling these kind of emotions toward Natasha. It wasn't as if they knew each other for years - they had just met recently but that didn't seem to matter. Their friendship (although new) meant a lot to Steve. He trusted and cared for her more than he thought he could for any girl. The connection he had with her was pure and he felt it from the moment he first spoke to her. It hurt to lose that. Arguing with her was almost more painfully than any battle wounds he'd ever suffered. The metaphoric pain people say when your heart breaks was a physical one for him; he could feel the dull sharp pain in his chest as if he could literally feel his heart shattering to pieces. Maybe he was so caught up in his own feelings that he fabricated the idea of her actually feeling the same about him. He couldn't blame her for not returning the affection; that wasn't fair. He could get over the fact that she didn't like him the way he liked her - that was fine. The thing he couldn't get over was that she had returned his kiss out of pity. As if he were too wounded for her to actually tell him no - only indulging in the moment to not hurt his feelings. He thought she would be the last person to ever pity him but apparently he thought wrong. Either way, he had to stop throwing himself a pity party and move on. The simple solution was to go back to his old ways and find a one night stand - maybe give Sharon a call but that wasn't who he was anymore. Sharon deserved better than that and he deserved better than a meaningless one night stand. Thanks to Natasha, he had come to the realization that as much as he said he didn't want more, he really did.
He was walking down the quiet path when he heard a soft cry. At first he ignored it - it wasn't his business. It was probably some girl crying over her boyfriend or something but then he heard a gun click and his feet immediately stopped in its tracks. "Give me all your money and no one gets hurt" he heard a man bark out. Steve's soldier instinct immediately kicked in and took over as he scanned his eyes to locate the robbery. He slowly took steps toward the sound of the muffled noises and found a man with a face mask on, pointing a gun at a young lady. The woman was completely terrified, shaking uncontrollably trying to stifle her cries. Steve kept a good distance away from the scene, close enough to react if the situation escalated but far enough to not be seen; he need to be careful if didn't want the gunman to do anything irrational out of panic. The way he saw it, he only had two options. The first option was to slowly creep up from behind and tackle the man down. The second option was to create a distraction - take the gunman's attention away from the girl and have it on him instead. Both options had its risks and neither of them involved calling the police. There was no way the police could come in time.
He could see the gunman grow impatient and slap the girl with the gun out of frustration. "I said give me everything you have. Don't make me shoot you" That was enough to make Steve abandon both of his options and charge full force toward the man. Steve was quick enough to tackle him down before the man could register what was happening. Steve threw a punch and tried to pull the gun away but the man was stronger than he looked. "Run!" Steve yelled at the girl as he tried to wrestle the gun out of the guy's hand. "Now!"
The girl made no effort to move, too shocked to process what was going on. Both men continued to wrestle each other over the weapon before a loud gunshot filled the air. The man's scrambled to his feet in complete panic. "I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to shoot…" he said before running away from the crime scene, leaving Steve on the ground covered in a pool of his own blood. The pain filled his entire body. The bullet had penetrated deep into his chest.
"Omg. Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay." The young woman he had just saved was crouched down beside him with her hand over his wound to try to stop the bleeding but it didn't. She hurried and pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911. "I need an ambulance here right now. I-I, this man was shot. H-he doesn't look like he's going to make it. Please hurry. He saved my life" The woman spoke so fast she wasn't sure the operator was able to understand her - she silently prayed they did because she didn't know if she had the strength to repeat herself. Thankfully, the person on the other end said they were sending for help immediately. "I'm so sorry" she choked out through her tears.
"It's not your fault" Steve managed to say and gave her the best smile he could despite the pain he was in. He could feel himself slowly slip into unconsciousness. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to fall into the darkness as sound of faint sirens and the sobs of the girl fade away.
Natasha stood in front of the Barton family's door, debating on whether or not she should knock on the door. It was late - a quarter past midnight; she should have been home but after the incident at Steve's apartment, the last thing she wanted to do was be alone. The Bartons were the only family she had left so naturally this was the first place she thought off when she entered the address in for her uber. Still, she couldn't bring herself to make the move to knock on the door. They couldn't see her like this - this emotionally distraught. Being this vulnerable was a sign of weakness and she vowed a long time ago to never give people a reason to think she was weak because she wasn't. She sighed before taking a seat on the porch. Pull yourself together. You did what was right. Logical. You and him would have never worked out anyways. She had to constantly remind herself to quiet the guilt that threatened to consume her. When had her life gotten so complicated?
A car pulled up slowly into the driveway, pulling Natasha out of her thoughts. Clint. Normally she was an extremely observant person but tonight she didn't even seem to realize that Clint's car was missing from his normal parking spot. She hurried and wiped her face of any emotion before Clint got out of the car. She didn't want to be the reason he ended his night off on a bad note.
"Natasha?" He asked confused as he emerged out of the car and walked toward the front door of his house. "What are you doing here? And what happened to Steve?"
She got up from where she was sitting to allow him room to open the door before following him inside. She could tell he was slightly buzzed by the extra squint in his eyes. "I wanted to make sure you didn't get yourself locked up." She smirked at him, completely ignoring the second question. She plopped herself on the couch and got comfortable and prompted Clint to do the same.
"Those days are behind me." He chuckled, remember his crazy nights when he was still a teen. "What happened at the bar anyways? Did Steve have another ptsd episode?" Clint's light hearted mood quickly turned serious when he remembered that Steve got into a bar fight tonight. Steve was a good friend - good man but he'd witnessed Steve struggle with his ptsd many times before. They recently haven't been happening as often but Clint wasn't naive enough to believe that they would have just disappeared over night.
"No" Natasha quickly shook her head. She was aware of Steve suffered from severe ptsd - it wasn't uncommon for veterans to come back from the war with ptsd. On a few occasions, she had witnessed Steve get startled by loud noises or his body would go completely tense whenever he was in a crowded area. However, tonight was not the case. Tonight he was completely aware of what he was doing and made it clear that he felt no remorse for what he did. She didn't know whether to lie or tell the truth. Clint wasn't even aware of how close Natasha and Steve have gotten over the past few weeks. How would it sound if he heard that Steve punched the guy because of her? How could she possibly explain that when she didn't understand it herself. Luckily for her, his cellphone rang giving her an easy out.
"Hello?" Clint answered the phone casually, mouthing to Natasha that it was Sam on the other line. Natasha watched as Clint's calm eyes suddenly widen in alarm. "What did you say?" He raised his voice in complete disbelief. "Ok. Ok I'm on my way. See you soon." He rushed off the couch and clumsily grabbed his keys and jacket.
"What's wrong Clint?" She asked concerned. It's been awhile since she's seen Clint this distraught. Whatever Sam told must have been really bad.
"Steve was shot. I gotta go."
Natasha heart stopped - she wasn't sure if she had heard him right. "What did you say?" She needed to make sure that it was just her brain playing dirty tricks on her. There was no way Steve could be hurt, she was just with him not too long ago. This made no sense.
"Steve is in the hospital."
Natasha could feel the blood rushing out of her body. It was as if time had stopped. This couldn't be real. She refused to believe it. "You're lying." She shook her head, searching for a sign that Clint was probably joking but there was only seriousness in his eyes.
"Why the hell would I be lying about this?" Clint yelled frustrated. He paced back and forth trying to calm himself down before he got in the car and drove to the hospital to be there for his friend. The alcohol he consumed mixed with worry was not a good combination for night driving. He paused in the middle of his pacing and took a deep breath. It wasn't fair for him to snap out on Natasha when it wasn't her fault; it was obvious that she was just as worried as he was. "Look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you Tasha but Steve is hurt and I gotta go." He sighed.
"What happened to Steve?" Natasha asked keeping her voice leveled and quiet - not wanting to wake up Laura or the kids. She was still trying to process the fact that Steve was hurt.
"I don't know. Sam said he'll explain when I get there. Whatever happened had to be bad enough to land him in the hospital." Clint hated not knowing the details - it made him feel powerless. The news has his brain thinking of a million of different scenarios that could have happened to Steve that could have possibly resulted in him getting so badly hurt that he ended up in the hospital. Steve wasn't the type of guy who would purposely start a fight unless he absolutely had to. Clint refused to believe that Steve would even participate in a situation that was petty or irrelevant so whatever happened had to have been necessary. Clint forced the negative thoughts out of his mind. He had to look at the facts; the facts were Steve was hurt and in the hospital. Everything else is irrelevant. He'll find out the truth when he got there.
Suddenly the hallway lights came on followed by a sleepy Laura waddling down the stairs. "What's going on?" She said with a yawn, wiping the sleep out of her face. She could feel the tension as soon as she walked down the stairs. Natasha looked like she had just seen a ghost and Clint had his worried expression on his face.
Clint sighed again before walking slowly toward his wife, feeling terrible for waking her up. She was tired and stressed enough already with the pregnancy; he didn't want to add any more to it. "I'm sorry for waking you sweetie but I have to leave to go to the hospital. Steve's hurt." He made sure to leave out the major details so he wouldn't worry her too much. If he had the choice, he would even tell her the truth but he knew it would only cause more problems and he didn't feel like being in the doghouse. Laura loved Steve - everyone did so lying wasn't an option especially when Laura would find out anyways.
"Oh my god, is he okay?" The sleep vanished from Laura's voice and was replaced with concerned. Her eyes immediately flickered toward Natasha to see if her friend was okay. Even if Natasha refused to acknowledge her feelings, Laura knew that over the past few weeks Steve had became an important person in her life. It didn't surprise her to see a blank expression on Natasha's face; it was her own way of dealing with the issues herself.
"Steve's a fighter" Clint lowered his voice to try to ease the worry as much as he could and gave his wife a kiss on the forehead. "I'll be home soon." He whispered before turning toward the door.
"I'm coming too" Natasha followed Clint out the door and to the car. The drive to the hospital was silent - both were too worried to say a word to one another. Natasha fought her tears back - willing herself to be positive. Tears were for the dead. Steve was still alive. Everything will be just fine….
