Didn't keep up with this one as I'd hoped. I've let it go to the point where is is pretty much entirely A/U. Coach lives with Jess and Schmidt in 4D, Nick and Winston live in 4C. Schmidt and Cece aren't even together, let alone married. Nick and Jess have broken up, but they've done very little to move on afterwards. "The New Year" was actually 2015. Yikes.

Jess sat on her bed and nervously flicked the screen to her phone every 15 seconds, checking the time in a subconscious effort to slow down time. Cece stood with her back to her and calmly rifled through the wall of polka dotted garments hanging in the closet before her.

"Find anything yet?" Jess asked, flicking her phone yet again to find that it was now all of 8:04 pm.

"I dunno, I guess I just…"

"How bout the yellow one?" Jess said without looking up.

"Yellow? Ya think? No really my color…"

"Everything is your color," Jess said, finally standing. She smoothed out the pleats of her own black skirt and joined Cece at opened closet. "Since when do you need to borrow my stuff anyway? Don't you guys have, like, a separate bedroom full of clothes Nadia stole from past gigs?"

"No," Cece said, pulling the solid yellow dress in question from the closet,draping it over her chest. "We turned that into the nursery for little Damien."

"Still can't believe that's the name Nadia came up with. Little on the nose, isn't it?"

"Yeah. But you'd be surprised. Nadia's actually got a devastating sense of humor," Cece said, walking over to the mirror, still holding the yellow dress to her chest.

"Oh, I can see it. A regular Yackov Smirnoff. Heavy on the Smirnoff, am I right?"

"Good one, Jess" Cece said, spreading the dress our across the length of her arms.

Jess flicked her phone again, anxiety building all over her face.

"I dunno…" Cece mumbled.

"I think it looks great," Jess smiled, taking a moment to look at herself in the mirror. Her black and white striped sweater was an old standby, but it got chilly in Nick's apartment. And tonight could be chillier than normal.

Cece caught Jess checking herself out, and grinned. Enough was enough. She'd had her fun.

"I'm sorry Jess, am I keeping you from something?"

"What? No. Who? No," Jess stammered, looking down.

"Jess…"

"No, nothing. It's nothing," she said, adjusting her glasses.

"Got a big date…. with Russell?"

Jess got caught with her mouth hanging open. She snapped it shut tightly and smiled. Cece had given her the perfect out.

"Yeah, you know… just a quick dinner. Nothing major."

"My bad, babe. Don't let me keep you."

"You sure?" Jess said more than asked, already angling towards the door.

"Yeah, I need to find a belt, maybe some earrings. I can let myself out."

"You're sure?" Jess offered, backing through the door.

"Pretty sure."

"Great, see you later," Jess smiled, disappearing into the hallway.

"Hey Jess?"

"Yeah!"

"Don't you need your purse?" Cece smirked.

Footsteps fell slowly back towards the room as Jess sheepishly stepped in.

"Good call," she said, snatching her purse from her desk. "Thank you."

With that, she disappeared back into the hallway.

"Don't have too much fun," Cece called after her.

"Not sure that will be an issue," Jess murmured as she slipped out through the door to 4D.


Cece counted to ten, hung the dress back in its place, and tiptoed to the doorway. Deciding the coast was clear, she slipped down the hall and softly knocked at the door to Coach's room.

"What's the password?" came a voice from the other side.

"Password is open the damn door," Cece whispered.

"That's not the…"

"Open the friggin door!" Cece whispered even louder.

The door cracked open revealing a very somber looking Winston on the other side.

"The password was a very important part of the…"

"Yeah, whatever," Cece said pushing past. "What do we go-AAAHT THE HELL IS THAT?!" she shrieked, putting her hands to her mouth.

"What's what?" Coach asked, not looking up. He was seated at his desk, tucked away in the corner of the room, pecking away at the keyboard to his laptop.

"What is that?" Cece said, pointing emphatically at the wall behind the bed.

"Oh, the mural?" Winston asked.

"What the hell?"

"Ain't it dope?"

"That's not the word I'd use," Cece said, catching her breath.

"I think it's dope," Coach grumbled.

"Dope as hell," Winston confirmed.

"What… what is the space octopus doing to that lady?"

Coach and Winston shared a shrug.

"Is she… serving tea?"

"I dunno, ask Schmidt. He's the one who had it commissioned"

"That actually makes a lot of sense," Cece said with a nod. "How is it I've never been in this room?"

"Guys, I think we're up and running" Coach said, rising from his seat. He stepped away from the desk and angled the screen to his laptop so that everyone could see. "That is, of course, if you still want to go through with this."

They looked at each other for a moment before all eyes fell to Cece. This was her idea, and it was going to be her call.

"We've talked about this," Cece said, stepping towards the laptop. "They obviously aren't going to tell us anything. And I just want to know what it is we're dealing with here. We can probably help."

They gathered around the front of the desk and stared at the screen just in time to watch Jess and Nick simultaneously flop down on the sofa in 4C.

"We are way, way too involved in each other's lives," Coach said, shaking his head.

"Winston, where did you hide the nanny-cam?" Cece asked.

"It's in this digital clock Schmidt bought way back. I just stuck it over on the bookshelf in the corner there."

"You don't think that'll be suspicious?"

"When's the last time you looked at a clock that wasn't on your phone or computer?"

"Fair point. And like we discussed before, if they start to get… frisky… we turn it off. No if, ands or..."

"Don't think it will be an issue," Coach cracked.

"Huh?"

"Man, I don't think they could sit further apart if they tried," Coach observed, gesturing at the screen..

"You're right," Cece agreed. "They both just look so… uncomfortable."

"Turn it up," Winston said.

"It is up," Coach answered. He fiddled with the keys on the laptop to prove it. "They just aren't talking to each other."

"I don't get it" Cece exhaled.

"I don't know, what did you expect?" Coach asked. "They've been weird around each other for a while now."

"I guess."

Cece crossed her arms and stared at the screen. As she spied on her best friend of twenty years, she struggled to put two and two together. She thought the key was in the bolt upright posture of both Nick and Jess. But she couldn't quite pinpoint the 'why'.


Jess and Nick sat silently on the couch in 4C, eyes glued to the large TV in front of them. Neither of them saw or heard what was on the screen. As Mia Farrow and company exchanged Woody Allen's no doubt witty dialogue, they sat on opposite ends of the couch, each busy with their own thoughts.

Jess, having seen the movie before, had a least some general idea of the length and pacing, and knew when it would end. Whether that was a blessing or not, she couldn't say for certain, though she was doubtful. There was a clock on her, and she could feel the seconds ticking.

NIck, on the other hand, was fairly oblivious to when the hammer was going to come down. But knowing it was coming was enough to keep him on edge. He slowly sipped at his Heisler, every so often stealing a glance over at Jess. He knew what was coming. He had known for some time. But while that should serve to cushion the blow, we wasn't entirely sure it was going to.

After about an hour and forty five minutes, one character on screen announced a pregnancy, the music swelled, and the credits flashed. It was time.

Jess swallowed hard and began to speak, testing her voice for the first time in well over an hour. "So… what'd you think?"

"It was good," Nick lied. "I liked it."

"Yeah, I've always liked it, too."

"Good."

"Good."

NIck strangled his bottle of Heisler as Jess nervously traced her fingers over her knees, each trying to remember how this usually went. But there was nothing 'usual' about this time. In the past, there was nothing to say. This is the first time since they began their 'play dates' that someone had any news to break.

"So…," Jess started.

"Nothing, Jess," Nick blurted out, needing the yank the bandaid off. "Nothing for me. Zero on the lady front. Your turn."

Jess shot her eyes to him, startled. She blinked the surprise out of her eyes and looked down.

"Okay… Well, I… the thing is…"

"Go on."

Jess scooted forward on the couch and angled her knees to face him.

"Okay," she started, still looking down. "So Cece set me up on this date. It was basically entrapment. This total loser named Andy."

"Andy Derryberry?"

"Yeah… what? How do you know about Andy?"

"Oh, he's just Cece's academic nemesis. You'll have that. Please continue."

"Okay," Jess said, shaking her head. "Where…"

"Cece set you up…."

"Right. Anyway, Andy was a real creep. He basically dined and dashed on me, leaving me with the bill. But I didn't have my purse. So, long story short…."

"Go on…"

"I was sort of bailed out," Jess started, raising her eyes to look at Nick. "By Russell."

Nick's face bore no reaction. A fact that took Jess by complete surprise. She would admit to herself later that she was a more than a little stung in the moment. She had no desire to hurt Nick, but the fact that he exhibited nothing was a sharp, though brief, blow.

As if reading the passing hurt on her face, Nick quickly stepped in.

"Yeah, I actually... I saw you guys going into your apartment the other night. After Schmidt's terrible Gentleman's Evening Out."

"You… saw us?"

"Yeah," Nick smiled. It was a mirthless smile that exhibited the type of joy a person about to undergo dental surgery might feel. "I saw the two of you go into your apartment. Jess, it's okay. It's none…."

"Nothing happened!" Jess said loudly. Not exactly defensively, but certainly declaratively. "He just dropped me off, and I showed him a few pictures. He was out within 10 minutes. Nothing happened."

Nick exhaled, certain he had failed to hide even an inch of his relief. After a deep breath, he looked back at Jess.

"It's not really by business what happened. But… I'm glad you told me, Jess."

"There's… a little more."

"Oh?"

"Russell…. sort of… asked to see me again."

Nick paused a moment to reflect on the giant 'Well, duh' that screamed through his head.

"And you told him?"

"Well," Jess answered, genuinely trying to remember the phrasing. "I guess I told him… that... it might be okay?"

Nick sniffed and looked at Jess. "Well, good. I'm glad. It's about time one of us got back out there, and if you're going to do it, it might as well be with my own personal hero."

A chuckle escaped Jess' lips as a smile began to form.

"Better than this loser-cheat Andy Derryberry."

"Ugh, he was the worst. I don't know what Cece was thinking."

"She just, you know... Wants us to move on. Be happy. All that good… crap," Nick smiled.

"I guess," Jess smiled, feeling a bit easy for the first time that night. "But man she missed the boat on that creep."

"Sounds like she missed the freaking ocean."

"Basically."

They sat a moment, both happy just to be comfortable around each other again. The suspense of the evening had taken a toll, keeping their bodies tense and rigid, their breathing uneasy. The sense of normalcy that overtook them was immediate and total.

"Can I ask you something Jess,"

"Shoot."

"Now you know I've got nothing against Russell. In fact, he's everything I want to be when I grow up."

"He's like, 8 years older than you."

"So? What did I say?"

"Nevermind."

"It's just… I don't know why you and Russell ended the first time. But… what changed? Why do you think it's going to work this time."

Jess got quiet as her demeanor shifted down slightly, but noticeably.

"I…"

"You know what," Nick said, feeling guilty. "No. Nevermind. None of my business. None at all."

"No, it's fine. I guess… there were things that were important to me back then that just… don't seem that important anymore. Things I wanted that are great and exciting, but… in the end I guess... just aren't enough to make something really work," Jess answered. "That's all."

"Okay."

"And besides, it's not like we're serious or anything. We actually don't even have a date set up. He said he might call, that's it."

"Oh, he'll call," Nick said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Russell would have to be an idiot not to take a second shot at you. And I don't idolize idiots."

Though the words were meant only at face value, Jess was struck by the unintentional subtext of them, and it gave her pause.

"Thank you, Nick. Thank you for being so cool about this."

"Why wouldn't I be cool?"

"I don't know. It's just… kind of a big step, right? I'd like to think I'd be cool if I were in your shoes."

"You mean if I started, say, dating Caroline again."

"Don't even joke about that, Nick. You bring that psycho back into our lives and I will end you."

"Right on."

"But seriously. You're being great about this."

"Well, it's easy, Jess."

"Hmm?"

"Look, I just want you to be happy, alright? And that's what you want for me..."

"Of course," she interrupted.

"Well, you're not going to be happy until you get back out there and give it a shot. And whether this thing with Russell works out or not, it's a first step."

"I know."

"And, okay, so maybe I'm not exactly jazzed about it, but I have to get used to the idea, right? I mean, I'm not going anywhere, Jess. You're stuck with me. And you're too great a catch to go on being single, so the sooner I get used to the idea, the better."

"I…"

"And again," Nick said, standing up. "You literally can do no better than Russell. He is the absolute top of the man mountain."

Jess shook her head and stood, losing a thought she was trying to hold onto from the moment before.

"Man… man mountain?" was all she could manage as she stood up.

"Jess, I'm a master of the written word. The spoken word is still something of a work in progress."

"I see," Jess continued with a laugh. "So…"

"So…"

They stood a moment, balancing at the unusual point where ease and unease teeter with a steady back and forth

"Same time next week?" Jess finally said.

"You got it," Nick smiled, walking her to the door.

"Great," Jess said opening the door and stepping through. "I'll be here," she said, turning to offer one last smile.

"I'll be waiting," Nick smiled back.

"Goodnight, Nick."

"Goodnight, Jess."

Nick closed the door between them. They each stood, lingering for a few moments before turning and shuffling off in opposite directions.


In Coach's room, Cece stood between the room's current and former residents, watching it all play out on Coach's computer. She bit her lip as she rolled her eyes about as far back in her head as she possibly could.

"Idiots," she said with annoyance that bordered on anger. "Those… idiots."