Hello everyone. I have waited to see if what I read about Claudia's baby came true and now that it has I had to change the direction of my story slightly include that tragedy. It is a new challenge but I look forward to seeing how this story will unfold now. Please let me know what you think of this chapter, including if it was easy to follow or not and what you think of the content of the chapter. As always I hope you will enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital or its characters, but the storyline is mine.


"So Claudia, you have talked about your father, brother, husband, and Ric. But you are leaving someone out aren't you?"

Claudia instinctively reached for her diamond shaped necklace and began to play with it. "I don't understand, you asked me to talk about men I either care or cared about, or had influence on my life, I have done that. I gave you a list even."

"Yes, you gave me A list, but not THE list. I wanted to give you time to build up the strength to face where the core of your problems started and so talking bit by bit about these men in your life has been a really good thing, a major stepping stone. But it is time Claudia, you need to face what is buried in your past."

Claudia began to pace, she felt like a caged animal, it was like the room is was getting smaller and smaller. "I thought we already have dealt with the huge issue which was the lack of my father's love and acceptance. I was never good enough and therefore I always overcompensated to try to make myself worthy of him. I mean that is the foundation that got me into the situation I am in with Sonny now and my warped logic of living the mantra of keep your friends close but your enemies closer. I figured marrying Sonny would work for me on two fronts, I would be able to learn more about Sonny, hopefully learn his vulnerabilities which would maybe give me a way to save myself from being killed for getting Michael shot. And the other part was pleasing my father. He would once again have to see that I was loyal to him and could play any part he needed me to play. I keep thinking if I just did enough daddy would finally want me."

Lainey observed Claudia for a few moments as Claudia stared at the Lighthouse picture. Claudia's body language mimicked how closed off she was; not wanting to deal with all that deep pain she had forced dormant for so long.

Finally Lainey spoke, "You said he would finally want me…when did you truly realize your father didn't want you."

Claudia stared blankly at the picture for a few seconds before answering.

"Milan."

"Milan?"

"Pathetic isn't it, up until that time I still held onto the hope that he would- he would see me, want me in his life; love me."

The tears started to fall now, but Claudia kept her arms crossed, allowing the tears to run down her face.

"But as is always the case, I was just a problem needing to be solved. He didn't want me around, he just wanted Johnny… so I was sent to Milan and lost years with John because of my weakness to please my father."

That is when Claudia finally turned and faced Lainey.

"That is where my guilt and regret are the highest. I wasn't there to help or protect my brother! And then years later I end up overcompensating for that sin and just creating a new one….well, many new ones."

Lainey could see Claudia was about to loose it, the only problem was in what way. She decided to push a little more.

"You are starting to hit on it a little more...Milan...your moving to Milan."

"Yes we have said a thousand times I was forced to move to Milan."

"Why?"

Claudia flinched, she was becoming angry and hurt...why wouldn't Lainey stop asking her questions from this time in her life?

"Isn't it obvious, daddy didn't want John and I to team up against him. It is the famous divide and conquer strategy."

"That is one reason, yes...but I think we both know it is not the main reason."

"What they hell are you talking about?"

"Why won't you tell me about him?"

"Him? Him who?"

"The one man you left off your list."

"There are no others!"

Claudia was really pacing now, she wanted to throw things. Then it occurred to her the name she had left out.

"Oh you mean Trevor? Daddy's lap dog? He isn't even worth bringing up." Claudia flipped her hair out of her face, trying desperately to stay nonchalant. She was telling the truth right? Trevor wasn't worth her breath.

"No?" Lainey leaned forward in her chair, the line she was trying to have Claudia cross was a dangerous one.

"Okay he showed me a good example of a creep by trying to weasel his way into daddy's fortune."

Then Claudia smirked as she looked at Lainey. "Oh yes I get it now, the Ric connection. He is the dad of Ric who didn't give a damn about him, just like daddy acts with me. That is something Ric and I connected on. There did that settle your curiosity?"

"Ric is very important in all this, but no, right now Trevor's role of being Ric's father is not what I was looking for."

"So stop being so damn evasive and tell me what it is you want!"

"I can't, I have to allow you to tell me."

"Bullshit! You have been pushing me for almost the whole session! What is it, you are finally bored with me and want to see me have another breakdown? Am I getting too healthy too quick for you? Afraid I might not need you anymore? Maybe you need to see someone because it is obvious to me you have an unhealthy need to be needed and be a savior for people."

This whole thing was crazy, Lainey was just sitting there, what the hell was she doing?

"Look I am very sorry my story isn't exciting enough for you but there is nothing else to tell, so stop pushing me or all make some elaborate story up just to stop your constant questions!"

"Okay, that's enough for today, try to calm down and-"

"I DON'T WANT TO CALM DOWN!" Claudia pulled so hard at her necklace it broke. Even as it was falling she immediately pulled the painting off the wall and smashed it. She was out of her mind with rage, she was yelling, screaming and kicking at the chair near her. The next thing she knew she felt strong arms on her a quick sting and then...everything went to darkness.

***

Johnny awoke suddenly from another troubled dream. He had been standing out at the docks looking out at the water. After a few moments Olivia had been standing next to him, sliding her arm in his. He could still visualize the smile he had at the comfort her touch gave him, but when he had turned and looked at her, her eyes were glistening revealing the tears that were about to fall.

"I love being with you…you know that right?"

But before Johnny could answer another figure appeared.

"Ma, come on, Sonny's waiting for us, and it's past time to go."

Johnny looked past Olivia and stared at Dante, he looked sad, but for a different reason than Olivia was.

"I'm sorry Johnny…I have to go, take care of yourself okay?"

Johnny felt the sting of her leaving, but he didn't stop her, he just nodded.

Once again he was alone.

Then another figure appeared, this time it was Claudia.

"I guess you always pay for your sins in the end, right John?"

Johnny turned to face his sister, but there was no baby bump, her eyes looked lifeless.

"Claudia? What's happening? This isn't right. I don't understand what's going on here."

She gently placed her hand on John's shoulder, and then looked out at the sea. Johnny followed her movements and where her eyes were focusing. There in the water…a small coffin. He had only seen something like that on television, for…babies. He could feel the bile rising in his throat.

"Oh God Claudia no, the baby can't be- this can't be happening!"

"You know what this means…my life is over, in more ways than I thought possible. This baby was created to shield me from death, but he was going to bring me life, John. I actually fell in love with this baby. He was my chance to have a life, to make something good with my life. But that is all over now and now I have to pay for all the pain I've caused."

Johnny went to embrace his sister but she started to walk away right as he did. He tried to go after her, but his legs wouldn't move. He screamed at her to come back, to not leave him…to let him protect her. But she just kept walking away. When she was almost out of view she turned and faced him.

"I have to go to Sonny now John, it's past time to go."

And with that he was alone again. He collapsed under the weight of it all, sobbing on the edge of the dock. He looked at the waves, he wanted to jump in and sink to the very bottom, what else was there for him now anyway, no one would even probably notice he was gone.

"Johnny?"

Johnny jerked his head to see who was calling his name. He looked so pathetic, bawling like a baby, wanting the pain and despair to stop.

And that is when he saw her, she was almost glowing with the sunshine behind her.

Was she a symbol of hope or was she there to say goodbye too?

"Johnny? What happened?"

"Everyone left me…and Claudia lost her baby. Claudia is going to be killed and Sonny is starting his new family with Olivia and Dante."

Maxie sat down beside him and embraced him. Her hold was strong and loving.

"I'm here Johnny, and I am not leaving you. I'm here with you as long as you need."

Johnny put his head in his hands as he tried to recover from the images. It had felt so real. At first he thought it must have been a manifestation of his worst fears…but if that was the case, why hadn't Maxie left too? Was the dream trying to give him a real message?

His cell ringing shook him out of his thoughts.

"Mr. Zacharra, it's Dr. Winters, we need you to come to Shadybrook as soon as possible, your sister needs you."