A history lesson comes from two unlikely sources, and finally, and we have a conscious Kakashi!
Last time…
Unbeknownst to Iruka, Naruto had exited the kitchen and was standing behind him, rice bowl in hand, "What's a kekkaishi Iruka-sensei, and you're… dating somebody? Why didn't you tell me you were dating somebody? What… is she ugly or something?"
"I'm not dating anybody Naruto," Iruka loudly proclaimed staring pointedly at Izumo. "And no, the person I'm not dating isn't ugly. Never mind that now, don't you have something to do this morning?"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Naruto flippantly needled. "I know you don't want me here when you guys start talking about holding hands with girls and other gross stuff like kissing and junk."
Kotetsu the busybody helpfully supplied, "Iruka's a little shy, but I can tell you all about his new girlfriend. For one thing, she's not a ninja, but she does have some special skills. She's a kekkaishi and …"
Izumo took a wide swipe at his head, gesturing wildly for him to shut up while Naruto peered around Iruka looking as if Kotetsu was speaking a foreign language. Iruka meanwhile stood stock-still, tense, and mute, as an angry red flush zipped across his face.
"Quit fooling around 'Zumo," he continued batting away Izumo's hand. "As I was saying, kekkaishi are born with the ability to sense and destroy supernatural beings, well, ayakashi specifically. They cast spells or use a jutsu if you will, to construct barriers called kekkai. These kekkai things hold the ayakashi in place until they can destroy it by collapsing the kekkai on it. After that, they gather up its fragments to keep it from regenerating and send them into another dimension. So your Iruka-sensei has a really cool girlfriend, am I right?"
Izumo's eyes shifted from a stunned Iruka to a terrified Naruto and back again to the goofily grinning Kotetsu.
The loud crack of Naruto's rice bowl smashing to the floor ripped asunder the taut cloak of silence. Hurriedly moving to stand before Iruka, his wide eyes pleading for a swift denial of Kotetsu's wild tale, Naruto murmured, "So that dream I had last night, it wasn't just my brain taking out the trash was it?" A forlorn look, a drawn breath, "Can your girlfriend really do those things Iruka-sensei?"
Shame and disappointment settled in his chest as if a supersized Akimichi was standing on him; Iruka bowed his head silently. Crap! I wasn't bold enough to tell Naruto about my conversation with Taji-san when I had the chance. Hell, I didn't even know half this stuff until this morning.
"Naruto," he said respectfully, "She's an acquaintance of mine, and yes, I suppose kekkaishi can do those things…but she would never harm you…I wouldn't let her."
Sluggishly the terror in Naruto's expression morphed into a baffled frown, "Okay Iruka-sensei, if you say so I believe you, but geez, why couldn't you find a girlfriend that was… I don't know ... normal?"
Iruka chaffed, "For the last time, she's not my girlfriend… besides normal is grossly overrated. Now, get dressed, go do your training and check on your team leader. When you're done for the day, we'll get some ramen and talk, okay?" In the blink of an eye, Naruto took off running toward the back bedroom, as Iruka furiously rounded on his blabber mouthed friend.
"Iruka ...now ...wait a minute . . . hold on now ..." Kotetsu wavered, endeavoring all the while to make a human shield of the reluctant Izumo. "I had no idea the kid was here, I'm sorry, all right?"
Sounding as if he were in fog, Iruka wondered aloud, "Didn't know he was here you say…and now you're sorry. Tell me, did the regret settle in before, or after you realized I'm was going to kick your sorry ass? I can't believe you stood there and gave him such a graphic description of a kekkaishi's duties! How could you be so irresponsible?"
Kotetsu was as red-faced as Iruka; silence and a sheepish grin were his only responses.
The desire to hit something or someone was becoming unbearable. Far more upset by his failure to address the issue preemptively rather than with Kotetsu's thoughtless words, Iruka's shoulders drooped. I'm positive Naruto will understand that I didn't want him to hate Taji because of what she is. Damn it all, will he be able to forgive me for withholding information from him?
While Naruto noisily bumped about in the spare bedroom, Iruka wistfully stared toward the rear of his home, "How am I supposed to fix this 'Tetsu?"
Before Kotetsu had a chance to say something else stupid, Izumo spoke up, "Don't be so hard on yourself man. Naruto's not angry with you; in fact I'm willing to bet Kotetsu's next two paychecks he's more concerned that a girlfriend will chip away at the time he gets to spend with you."
"Hey!" Kotetsu grimaced, "Bet with your own money!"
Izumo's stern glare cut off any retort, "Oh and umm ...don't be so hard on Kotetsu either. You know he suffers from chronic 'foot in mouth disease,' I think the medical term is nincompoop syndrome."
Kotetsu pouted goofily, "Yeah man, I was just happy you've finally found a girlfriend …sure she's a little psycho, but if you're willing to overlook that character flaw, I say more power to you." Judging from the blank stare Iruka was giving him, and the irritated vibe coming from Izumo, Kotetsu changed his tack. "I already said I'm sorry, so what else can I do to make this thing right?"
Fastening Kotetsu with a pseudo frown, Iruka sternly said, "I've already got one mess to clean up, so you can take care of this one," motioning toward the slivers of the rice bowl. "While you're at it, perhaps you'll regale us with the details of how you became the resident expert on all things kekkaishi."
Relieved, Kotetsu bragged, "Heh, I wouldn't say I was an expert, but I know a few things."
"Guess I'm not surprised you don't know that much about kekkaishi," Izumo reckoned as he sauntered toward the kitchen. "You and I come from small families."
Kotetsu finished Izumo's line of thought, "What he's trying to say is large clans like mine were more likely to live in close contact with kekkaishi; I basically grew up around them. They're easy-going types, with the exception of your umm girl ...I mean, Taji-san. "Hey, is that broiled salted salmon I smell?"
"Don't let your stomach put your other foot in your mouth," Izumo wisecracked, skimming between them with a broom and dustpan. "He's not gonna give us any food until you finish this, so make it snappy."
Brown eyes shined with a glimmer of his old rascally self when Iruka joked, "What makes you stumblebums think I'm going to feed you now?"
Strolling into the kitchen again as if he owned the joint, Izumo pointed out, Parting with a few vittles is the surest to shake loose some information about your 'new acquaintance'. I better make another pot of coffee 'cause this is gonna take a while."
Iruka could never stay angry with these two crackpots for long, "You know where everything is so go ahead ya mooch," he teased. "I'll see what else I can throw together for breakfast, since you're forcing me to drag the full story outta you guys."
They all heard the bedroom door swing open loudly and turned to see Naruto heading for the door with a quick wave. "Thanks for the grub Iruka-sensei, see ya later!"
Looking up from his custodial duties, Kotetsu proudly grinned, "See Iruka, you were worried about a whole lot of nothing. That kid's resilient, not to mention absent minded; knowing him, he's probably already forgotten all that stuff I told him earlier."
Though Kotetsu's comment was one part truth and ninety-nine parts wishful thinking, Iruka knew Naruto better than that. The boy had an uncanny knack for remembering and loudly regurgitating bits and pieces of bygone conversations at the oddest and most embarrassing times.
Nope, the best way to prepare myself for the inevitable third degree is with cold, hard facts. Heaven help me because it looks like Kotetsu's my only reliable source of information.
Inordinately pleased with himself for having corralled every speck of rice and the wayward bits of crockery, Kotetsu ducked into the kitchen to dispose of the debris. He was just about to take a seat when Izumo snapped, "Don't get too comfortable, we've got three hours before guard duty, and I'd like to eat before then. Why don't you make yourself useful and bring those dirty dishes over here?"
"Who died and made you the boss of me? For cripe's sake man, chill out," Kotetsu huffily balked while he cleared the table. Precariously balancing the hastily grabbed armload of dishes he couldn't resist sniping, "Is there anything else you want me to do your majesty?"
"I'd like you to get started with your tall tales about kekkaishi," Iruka ribbed. "I've got other things to do today, so let's hear it."
Kotetsu commandeered Iruka's chair at the head of the table laughing, "Hey 'Ruka, it's hard to believe I actually know more about a subject than you do. I can't believe, "Mr. I-love-history-more-than-life-itself Umino," is absolutely clueless about his girlfriend's people."
Well that was harsh. Anybody who knew Iruka for longer than a week knew he was a rabid history buff who took great pride in his knowledge of the village he called home; the small library in his spare bedroom was a testament to that. His parents left him numerous scrolls, leather bound books, and old parchments detailing shinobi life since the founding of the village. Many others were gifts from friends, though the majority of the material came from students angling for better grades.
"Miracles do happen, and gloating is a very unflattering color on you 'Tetsu," Iruka groused. Mixing the ingredients for miso soup and flipping on the rice cooker, Iruka sighed, "Up until this morning I thought kekkaishi were just myths."
"Nope, they're real," laughed Kotetsu, "Been around for at least five hundred years, give or take a decade; well not here in Konoha that long, but in existence I mean. They migrated to the Land of Fire with the Hatake clan from Lightning Country. Damn man, that Sumimura clan is gigantically huge; they're spread out all over the Five Shinobi Lands."
"Hang on a minute," Iruka butted in, "Why is it I've never heard of any other Hatakes except Kakashi and his father?" Wonder what happened to the rest of them?
An exasperated huff flowed from Izumo's lips, "The Hatake were a family of farmers, so naturally they wouldn't live inside the village proper; you didn't know that either, did ya? No big deal man, we don't hear much about them nowadays. I imagine they've all died off by now."
Choosing to ignore that little dig, Iruka's skillful hands mounded the sea salt around three thick slabs of salmon; he didn't bother to respond.
"I got another eye-opener for ya," Kotetsu pitched in, "Remember how we were always taught that there were only four noble clans that originally inhabited Konoha? "
That's right, the Nara, Akimichi, Aburame, and Hyuga. "I suppose you're going tell me that information isn't accurate either," griped a distracted Iruka.
"Oooh, Oooh," Izumo volunteered with his arm raised and waving about like one of Iruka's students needing a potty break. "I know this one! If you count the Hatake and Sumimura, six noble clans were the earliest residents of Konohagakure. The Nara and Akimichi came from the region we now call the Land of Clouds, in Lightning Country. The Nara were a family of apothecaries; the Akimichi, Samurai descendants no less, were a clan of food vendors. Yeah, yeah, ironic I know. Anywho, the Aburame were originally from Suna, poison experts, and the Hyuga came from the Land of Earth, bunch of physicians and surgeons. All these families drifted to the Land of Fire because of persecution, except the Hatake clan. They were looking for a larger portion of arable land with a more temperate climate – farmers are funny like that."
Well that's news to me. I'm really going to have to update my lesson plans, but first I have to know, "What about the Sumimura, what were they running from?"
Izumo fielded this one too, "Actually, they were running toward the Forest of Death. Ayakashi there were multiplying at an alarming rate and threatening to break free of the boundary their ancestor established. What was that guy's name 'Tetsu?"
"Tokimori Hazama; all kekkaishi descended from him. Remind me to tell you more about him later Iruka. Interesting side note, you know how the Forest of Death has a fence around it with warning signs posted that we 'ordinary' people can see? Well, surrounding that fence is an enormous kekkai accessible only in the presence of seven high-level kekkaishi. I'm assuming you never noticed those folks in ivory kimonos standing outside the fence during Chunnin exams; anyway, it's their job to keep ayakashi from escaping the barrier and to exterminate those ayakashi who try to kill any of the contestants."
The flow of information stopped as suddenly as it started. Iruka tore his eyes away from the salmon to inquire, "So, what's the rest of the story?"
Izumo and Iruka were like two kids at camp listening to ghost stories; Izumo, up to his wrists in suds, had been washing the same imaginary plate for five minutes. Iruka was no better; that unattended pot of miso soup was threatening to boil over any second.
"Go on 'Tetsu," Izumo grouched, "before Iruka gets apoplexy."
"Wow, must've drawn a blank, Kotetsu said thoughtfully, "Memory's getting fuzzy, probably due to hunger pangs."
Iruka didn't need a building to fall on him. "Salmon's almost done 'Tetsu. Damn shame about your memory going on the fritz though; mine must be failing too because it looks like I only made enough for me and Izumo."
"Hey, I tried," a glum Kotetsu allowed. "Now, where was I? Yeah right, the Nara . . . their knowledge of and skill with medicinal herbs came from the ancient Lightning mystics, as did their ability to manipulate shadows. The latter ability forced the family to flee their ancestral home after superstitious villagers orchestrated the murder of their clan leader. Soon after they arrived in Konoha, they established an alliance with the Hatake clan to supply necessary medicinal plants in exchange for fresh produce and grain."
"Yeah, yeah," Izumo piped up, "Developed an affinity with the deer of the forest, bred tame deer, pioneered medicinal uses for deer hooves, and shed deer antlers. That's old news dude. We want to hear about these kekkaishi folks," Izumo said to the empty space beside him, "Isn't that right Iruka… Iruka?"
Reappearing beside him with a notebook and pen, Iruka awkwardly answered, "Just in case he says something important, I'd like to jot it down…for my classes."
Kotetsu and Izumo burst out laughing. Iruka was a lot of things, a good friend, a great cook, and an excellent teacher; but the man was a hopeless history nerd at heart.
"Alrighty then," Kotetsu proceeded, "The Akimichi, learned their signature expansion techniques the Lightning sages and over time they became the family kekkai genkai. I told you they were food vendors when they got here, but through a mutually profitable business venture with the Hatake clan, they rose to prominence becoming the largest exporters of gourmet cuisine throughout the Five Shinobi Lands; the Hatake supplied the produce, of course.
Iruka was scribbling furiously now.
"The Aburame were widely celebrated entomologists who gained notoriety in the field of insect based medicines, cosmetics and poisons." Kotetsu was leaning back in his chair, his feet casually propped atop an adjacent chair's seat, "In times of war, their scrupulous tactical planning and espionage skills, as well as their knowledge of untraceable poisons, made them valuable assets to Suna. Despite that, their unnatural fascination with insects marked them as outcasts by Suna's citizens, and they chose to relocate to the Land of Fire. They also formed an alliance with the Hatake clan to protect their crops from insect infestation in exchange for a yearly allotment of vegetables and grains."
Looks like I'm gonna need another notebook.
-000-
Precisely twenty-three hours, thirty-seven minutes and twelve seconds after his admission, Kakashi stretched out his senses to scrutinize his surroundings. Well, at least I'm in a hospital this time.
It didn't take his genius mind too long to register six very important tidbits of information. Firstly, he was itchy, meaning he was heavily bandaged; he was a tad sweaty too, that signified a fever, now broken. Chakra depletion was likely responsible for the massive headache he had, and seven lumps of wriggling fur assured him that at least his pack cared about him.
Lastly, there was a very strong, very ticked off chakra presence nearby emitting unconcealed ire directly at him. If he had to guess, that type of incensed chakra could only come from Tsunade, or worse, Taji. Didn't matter really, whichever one it was, he was about to get an earful.
"How nice of you to rejoin us in the land of the living," came Taji's surly greeting.
Damn, I was hoping for Tsunade.
Kakashi approached Taji's irritation as he would any other unrelenting enemy. He devised an ingenious battle plan based on passive resistance. He'd learned long ago the hard way that his best chance of survival lay in the ability to avert his eye and remain quiet until the unavoidable tongue-lashing ceased. If I'm lucky, I might be able to sleep through half of her histrionics. That plan worked for a few minutes, until the temptation to tease his reluctant nursemaid became too great.
Interrupting her tirade he coolly remarked, "From my restraints Taji, I'd guess you've either given me a lousy haircut or you're enraptured with Chapter Sixteen of Make-Out Paradise. Either way… it's pretty kinky…bet your husband's gonna be thrilled next time you see him."
"I wouldn't touch those nasty little books if your life depended on it."
Skitching out a phony little laugh and she quickly moved to loosen the thick bands that rendered him immobile. "Who told you about my husband's dominatrix fantasies? Never mind, I'm sure I don't want to know. You were restrained knucklehead, because you took out a medic; one of my favorite shikigami I might add. The regular hospital staff was a tiny bit concerned you might react unfavorably again, hence these lovely leather reminders to behave yourself. By the by, you should be thankful the only things I snipped off were the ends of your hair, you big pervert."
Strange . . . he could almost feel the sardonic grin spreading across her face; he virtually heard her left eyebrow rise. I must really be in bad shape, I can sense her presence, but I can't seem to focus on her.
"As heart-warming as your effusive welcome was Taji, it's extremely ill-mannered to speak to the head of one's clan so impertinently," he tsked.
"A thousand pardons Hatake-sama," she stuffily declared, "But I'll kindly thank you to piss off."
"Much better," he chuckled. His good humor gave way to seriousness rapidly and he sharply asked, "How long have I been here, when can I go home and do you have any idea when they're going to take these bandages off my eyes?"
The deep breath she drew and the silence that followed, spoke volumes. Her soft hand hovered over his, "You've been here for roughly twenty-five hours, I have no idea when you're going to be released, and as for the bandages… my grandmother made a poultice for your eyes."
If Machi-bachan was here, the news wasn't going to be pleasant. Aconfused fusion of instinct, fear, and anger made him painfully capture her wrist. He kept his voice steady, low, and serious, "That's not all of it… is it?" She refused to answer. "Tell me the rest of the story Taji," he ordered, his fingers tightening; she didn't flinch.
She always tells me the truth eventually, whether I want to hear it or not. He swallowed raspingly when he felt the ninken shift. One of them pressed their snout against his jaw to comfort him; he tensed.
"You were poisoned with something even Tsunade has never encountered," she began with a shaky voice. "This particular poison, a neurotoxin, selectively targets a sensory organ…"
He felt quivers in the wrist he still held; was she angry …frightened?
"In your case, it was the optic nerves." She took a deep breath,
"You're blind Kakashi."
NOTES:
Kekkai are the primary offensive and defensive tools in a kekkaishi's arsenal. They are essentially barriers created by casting a spell. Used primarily to trap and eliminate ayakashi or human targets, they also can shield the caster from attacks or falling debris.
I have no idea where the Nara, Akimichi, Aburame, or Hyuga families originated from so, I made it up.
