So here it is at last – the end! Thank you to all you wonderful people who have stuck with me until the end. I hope I haven't disappointed. :)
Chapter 8 – The Beginning
The soft hazy glow of the autumn dawn stole its way tentatively around the lovers curled up in each others arms. Cait murmured softly in her sleep and Tristan opened his eyes slowly, peering down through half opened lids at the mass of dark hair and naked flesh that coiled itself so possessively around his own. He gave a comfortable sigh, long and silent, pulling her closer and kissing the sleepy head that lay snuggled upon his chest. He had never expected this, this feeling of joy and pain, of peace and exhilaration. Lying there in his arms she was his - utterly, completely his, but for how long? In the light of the day, would she accept him still? Would she be his-body and soul, as he was now hers? Surely she must? Those weeks without her had been desolate and bleak, and never again did he wish to endure such emptiness.
He kissed her hair once more and gently caressed the thigh that lay across his own. Cait stirred, shuffling closer and Tristan felt the throb of desire rise quickly as her leg grazed teasingly over him. He wanted to love her again, but was loath to wake her, afraid of loosing her once more. He pulsed ever more painfully as he thought of the night that had passed, making love to each other so many times, in so many ways, until finally exhausted, they had fallen into contented lumber.
Swathed in the protection of darkness, she had proved an enthusiastic lover. Her timidity had flown, replaced by a delightful wantonness, thrilling him with her inexperienced touch as her fingertips explored and discovered. In those hours of passion, she had given him her all, as he too had given himself to her and he swore in his life, he had never known such love from the touch of a woman's hands before - Lust often, both selfish and insincere – but never love such as he had known that night. He had been worshipped and cherished so completely, that he swore no other man could possibly have been so, before. A sudden agony crushed at his heart and he knew it was his love for her that bore him such pain. Cursing passionately, he rolled swiftly atop the woman in his arms, causing her to gasp with surprise as he covered her mouth with his own and kissed her hungrily. Thinking no more of what had passed, but instead wanting only to satisfy the agonising pound of his heart and to possess her once more, he ravished her lips, her neck, her breasts with ever growing intensity and need. Startled from her sleep and confused by the ferocity of his passion, Cait began to struggle but Tristan pinned down her arms, holding then fast above her head with one hand whilst the other reached down and eagerly searched the heat between her thighs. Cait continued to squirm beneath his weight, inflaming his desire all the more, but she could do nothing but yield, as he now sucked greedily at her soft breasts, teasing her hard peaks with his tongue as he slipped his fingers in and out of the folds of her moist, hot flesh, urging her to receive him. Cait, quickly over-come, moaned with passion
"Open your legs…" Tristan demanded, his voice smoky and desperate as he raised himself up and smothered her mouth with bruising kisses once more. She did as he bade her without resistance, as ravenous for him now, as he was her. She cried out as he thrust easily into her slick and needy body.
"That's it my Caitie..." he whispered passionately, with every fierce stroke taking her quickly to new and intoxicating heights "..take it, take it all.." he plunged higher and deeper, faster and faster. Cait wrapped her legs around him as high as she could, clinging to him with all her might, panting as she arched her longing body to meet his.
"Tell me you love me…" he begged through ragged breaths as he fought to hold on, her desperate hunger for him driving him powerless, to his climax. "Say it woman!"
It was too much for Cait and she surrendered herself willingly, crying out ecstatically as she soared into blissful oblivion, her whole being trembled and quivered in rapturous spasms. He felt her body throb and pulse around him, demanding he give her his all. He let go of her hands and white knuckled, gripped the furs around them as if holding on for his life. Cait reached up and clung to him as with one final deep thrust, he let go and spilled into her. His body shuddered ferociously and his heart thumped painfully at his chest causing him to gasp over and over and Cait held him tighter, soothing him with encouraging murmurs and loving kisses, until the warmth of contentment gently crept through his body and he grew quiet and relaxed in her arms. They eased themselves back down into the comfort of the furs - their bodies still entwined, slick and hot with perspiration as Tristan lay his head upon the comfort of her warm, soft breast. He smiled inwardly as he felt her tiny fingers begin to caress the braids within his shaggy mane and so they lay together in peaceful silence.
"Well… good morning to you, too!" Cait cooed at length. Tristan looked up and then chuckled huskily.
"Sorry, my lady…did I wake you?"
Cait laughed gently and he smiled in return, basking in the intimate and familiar ease which now existed between them and chased his earlier irrational fears away. They lay together quietly until the morning light filled the room. Tristan sighed as he remembered his duty for the day and it was with a heavy heart he knew he had to leave the console of her arms. Kissing her once, slowly and gently, he eased himself up reluctantly from her arms.
"I have to go for a short while" he mumbled begrudgingly, as he began to pull on his breeches and boots.
Cait looked on startled and confused, and then frowned irritably.
"Really?" she grumbled, plainly miffed. "That's just charming!"
Tristan turned to her as he pulled on his tunic. "I have inspection duties. We've been away sometime, Arthur needs his report on how Badon fares."
"Can't he do his own inspections?" She grumbled again, even more churlishly, sitting her self up and pulling her knees up to her chest.
"It's my job…" Tristan chuckled and bent to kiss her indignant nose. "Sooner I get started, the sooner I'll be back"
"Fine" Cait replied curtly, making it sorely obvious it really was anything but. Was this just an excuse, his way of dismissing her? Her insecurities came flooding back, she felt strangely rejected and it wounded her deeply. Getting up quickly from the bed, she found the blue servants gown she had been wearing and began to dress. She stifled a shocked groan at the dull pain of her body. Her muscles ached in places she had hardly known existed, a sure reminder of the night they had shared, but it failed to reassure her fears that she was now being conveniently discarded.
Tristan stopped what he was doing and frowned "Where are you going?"
"Home." She quipped back, ignoring both his scowl and her body's tenderness as she continued to dress.
"You'll stay where you are!.. You're my woman now and this shall be your home."
"Ha!.." she threw back, the true meaning of his words lost on her, so convinced was she that, his desire now spent, so too were any promises he had whispered to her in the hypnotic throws of passion that previous night. "I'll thank you to remember, I'm a woman of independent means … I need no charity from you, knight!"
Tristan gave a petulant grunt and then replied mischievously.
"and you'll get none!... I expect a high levy from you in return for ya board and lodgings and don't you forget it"
Cait gasped indignantly, stubbornly mis-interpreting what had been meant as a roguish remark
"So! This is what y'meant by 'sharing your life' is it? A live-in whore!" The dress now on, she thrust her hands on her hips and glared across at him "Don't be thinking I'll be keeping house for ya… washing y'dirty socks… cooking y'broth and warming y' bed…. waiting around for you to come staggering in from the tavern of a night, smelling of ale and dirty women!"
Tristan groaned at the return of his bloody-minded Cait and then reached out and pulled her to him. She went to him, albeit with a pout.
"You are not my whore Cait and ne'er will be… I am neither Druid nor Christian… My holy men lay oceans away…. But I'm willing to call you 'wife' if that is what is important to you"
"Oh…my! How chivalrous of you!" she replied acidly, shrugging away his arms.
Tristan scowled more darkly. Just a few moments ago, his life had been perfection and now…What had he done so wrong this time? Women were so damned mysterious and infuriating; he never could decipher their ridiculous moods, especially this woman. He remembered then, just why he'd been alone for so long.
"Just what do you want from me Cait?" he growled at last "I can give you a home, food in your belly and protection from all…Christ, we can even get hand-fasted or whatever the bloody hell it is you Britons do….! Just take my name if that's what makes you happy…!"
"I have my own home! My own food and I've not done such a bad job of protecting myself these years past!" Cait threw back, feeling thoroughly insulted now "And I have my own name, thank you!"
Why did this man not understand? Why could he not just say the words she needed to hear so desperately to ease all her fears?
Tristan huffed irritably, his jaw tense with rising frustration. Why were women so bloody impossible to please? "Then just tell me what you want, for crying out loud!"
"I shouldna have t'ask!"
"I give up!" Tristan yelled, throwing his arms up in surrender. "That's enough! I have to go….you…" he said, pointing a commanding finger at her "Will stay here until I return…" Grabbing her face suddenly, he kissed her long and hard and then swiftly left the room.
...
"I ne'er expected to see a face like that on ya this morning… you hav'na been quarrelling with ya girl already now?" Dagonet chortled as he secured the saddle upon his mare's back.
Tristan grumbled something unintelligible beneath his breath and began to lead his horse to the stable door, eager now to get on with his duties and out into the peaceful wilds. That woman could drive a man insane with her riddles and her canting. Dagonet flashed him a look over his shoulder still grinning broadly. He knew Tristan well enough to expect no better reply. But Tristan suddenly stopped and turned round, a troubled and bewildered look on his face.
"You know women-folk, Dag…"
"Aye?" came Dagonet's fascinated reply. He stopped what he was doing and stood up straight, his attention caught by his friend's uncharacteristic desire to impart some or other confidence.
"What do they want?"
For a moment Dagonet thought it a jest, but he saw no laughter in the eyes that seemed in earnest wait of his reply. Dagonet thought for a long moment and then smiled knowingly.
"My girl says…" He said with a broad grin and his eyes lighting up at the very thought of her "All she wants…all she needs.. is to know my heart is hers..."
Tristan stared silently "and is it?" he asked at length.
"Aye… and always will be, I'm thinking" Dagonet grinned ever more broadly, as he turned his attention back to his horse, knowing his friend had now found the answer he was searching for.
Tristan gave a thoughtful 'humph' and walked out.
...
Cait stared down from the window at the courtyard below, her fingers tracing her lips to the memory of that last bruising kiss. In her soul she knew that he loved her, no two people could share what they had last night without it being love, but her mind, ever cautious and suspicious, forever tortured her heart with doubt. She loved him so deeply, it was terrifying. Why could she not trust in him, or even herself? She watched as the door of the stable below swung open and Tristan stepped out into the courtyard, leading his large grey stallion behind him. Her heart lurched at the sight of him. He had not even left the barracks and she missed him already. He glanced up at her window briefly and it was all she could bear.
Without another thought, she sped out of the room and down the stone spiral stairs, desperate to hold him just one more time. As she careered down the corridor she suddenly halted, taking two deep breaths and composing herself before entering into the courtyard. Her infuriating pride still forbidding her to allow him knowledge it was for him she was there.
Stepping out, she crossed his path with a nonchalant air and her head high.
"And where you might be going? I told you to wait for me"
Stopping to look back at him she answered him casually "You're not the only one who has tasks of great importance to carry out, sir…I have chickens to feed!" she stood her ground, but wanted desperately to run into his arms.
"Chickens?" Tristan chuckled throatily, his previous ill-humour seemly forgotten. Leaving his horse, he walked towards her, "I see…be off with you then, I shall come fetch you when I am done on my rounds"
As she looked up into his eyes, Cait felt her heart swell with pride, for love shone in those warm golden-brown orbs - unmistakable, undeniable love and it shone for her. And oh, how she loved him in return. When she did not move to take her leave, Tristan knew now was the moment.
"Caitie" he murmured softly "you know what will be expected of you… as my lover I mean?"
"You get ahead of yourself, Sir! Who says I'll have you in my bed again?" Cait's eyes flashed playfully as she tried hard to hold back the mirth in her voice.
Tristan let out a weary chuckle and shook his head. Then more seriously, he spoke once more "I'm not the easiest of men to contend with at times, but you are strong enough a match for me, I think." He stopped and reached out to caress her cheek with the tips of his fingers. "You are in no need of protection, food or shelter it seems but still, I give it you, my lady…for I have nothing left to give you… you already hold my heart"
Cait's eyes filled with tears as the words she so needed to hear swelled in her breast. She threw her arms about his neck and sobbed confessions of love between desperate kisses as Tristan wrapped his arms around her tightly and buried his face in the scent of her soft hair.
"Take good care of it my lady..." he whispered lovingly "… tis the only one I have"
THE END
