Hello everybody, and welcome to the next chapter of "Tales of the Vampire Kingdom". I know some of you have been waiting a long time for this, and I apologize. But I intend to make it up to you. How, you ask? Just wait until the end and you'll see. Adventure Time is owned Cartoon Network. Enjoy.
Chapter 8: The Court of Queens.
Deep within the bright pink walls of the Vampire Kingdom Royal Palace, there exists a room that only a chosen few have ever seen.
It was small, roughly the size of a large walk-in closet, with no windows or any other distinctive features save for the one door that leads in.
Admittedly, not the most attractive or inviting room to be found within the palatial estate, but to one seeking to escape from all the noise and chaos of the outside world, it was Heaven of Earth.
Which is why, on this exact day, at this exact time, Her Royal Highness, Queen Marceline Saccharine, Mother and Supreme Ruler of all Vampires, was in this isolated little oasis.
She needed some time alone with herself.
"Breathe in…"
Inhale.
"Breathe out…"
Exhale.
"Breathe in…"
Inhale.
"Breathe out…"
Exhale.
A simple mantra for a simple exercise.
However, the end results were anything but.
For you see, Her Highness was not engaging in your run-of-the-mill sort of meditation.
On the contrary, what she was doing was unlike anything else in the whole, wide, weird, world.
"Breathe in…"
RIP
"Breathe out…"
RIP
"Breathe in…"
RIP
"Breathe out…"
RIP
"Breathe in…"
RIP
"Breathe out!"
Suddenly, the Queen's eyes snapped open, and immediately she could tell that something was different.
Firstly, she was no longer sitting in her private Isolation Chamber, but rather floating through what appeared to be an infinite black void.
Secondly, she was no longer dressed in her usual attire; the Queenly garb for which she was famous. Instead, she wore a simple grey top with matching sweatpants. Additionally, her normally short and well-groomed hair was now long, wild, and unkempt. In short, she did not look like her usual self.
Lastly, and most importantly, she was no longer alone. Where there had once been thin air now stood, or rather floated, five other vampires.
Five other Marcelines.
The first was dressed in a frilly, purple, party dress; the kind of thing you'd expect a small child to wear. Like the Queen, her hair was much longer than normal, but instead of flowing wildly, hers was neatly braided into a set of adorable pigtails, held in place by an equally adorable pair of purple bows. Judging by the goofy looking grin on her face, she was very excited to be here.
The second Marceline looked much more regal than the first; perhaps even more so than the Queen herself. For in addition to Her Majesty's normal garb and hairstyle, this one was adorned with all manner of rings and other forms of ornate jewelry. In a stark contrast to the first, this Marceline seemed bored and disinterested with her surroundings, and she wore an expression that could only be described as snobbish.
Beside her stood a third Marceline; this one dressed in flowing white robes, with a headdress similar to that of a pope. Much like the second, this one did not look happy to be here. In fact, she seemed downright disapproving of the whole thing; constantly shooting the others chastising looks.
The fourth Marceline looked much like the first, except she wore a black Lolita dress and instead of bows, her pigtails were held in place by tiny skulls with little bat wings. At first glance, her demeanor seemed aloof and emotionless, but there was something hidden behind her blank exterior; something much, much darker.
Next to her stood the final Marceline; this one dressed in a jet-black power suit with a crimson necktie. Like most of the others, her hair was longer than normal; only hers was groomed into a sleek and stylish ponytail, held in place by a single red scrunchy. Out of all the Marcelines, her expression was the most difficult to read. Her face was so stoic and reserved, and her eyes were so calm and steady. Absolutely everything about her screamed the phrase 'I'm all business'.
For what felt like minutes, the six of them just floated there in silence; each one sizing up the others in one way or another. Fortunately, this silence was soon broken by the Original Marceline.
"So…" said Marcy-Prime; attempting to sound calm and cool despite her intense unease. "I suppose you all know why we're here."
"Ugh, of course we do, idiot. We're all the same person. Remember?" replied Snob-Marcy haughtily.
"Hey, there's no need to be rude. She was only trying to break the ice." Said Pope-Marcy; shooting Snob yet another disapproving glare.
"Ooo~ Did someone say ice-cream? I love ice-cream! Can I have some? Where is it?" said Party-Dress-Marcy excitedly as she started jumping up and down like a giddy schoolgirl.
"No one's talking to you, Vermin." Goth-Marcy said threateningly.
"All of you, quiet!" Business-Marcy said sternly; though her tone remained as cool and calm as ever. "Now then, you were saying, dear?"
"Uh… right, thanks." Prime replied awkwardly, before steeling herself for the matter at hand. "Anyway, I'm sure we're all conflicted about Breakfast Princess'… eh… proposal, but…"
"I'm not." Snob rudely interrupted. "I think it's a wonderful idea."
"As do I." said Business.
"Me too." said Goth.
"Me three~" sang Party Dress.
"And I as well." said Pope. "Although, I want it on record that while I do support this plan politically, I am deeply opposed to it morally."
"No one cares what you think." replied Goth.
"Yeah… what else is new." grumbled Pope.
"Are you guys insane!" Prime shouted indignantly. "Breakfast Princess just asked me to marry her; in a letter! How can any of you possibly be okay with that?"
"Simple." replied Business bluntly. "A union like this will open the door for a trade agreement between our two kingdoms; one that will benefit all of our subjects."
"And, with a member of their Royal Family as our bride, the Breakfast Kingdom will be obliged to help us, should we ever find ourselves in need." Said Pope matter-of-factly "It never hurts to have someone watching your back."
"Not to mention, Breakfast Princess has already promised us a rather amble dowry." Snob added; pausing briefly to wipe away a bit of drool. "Four hundred gallons of her Kingdom's finest Strawberry Syrup."
"Which we will divide evenly amongst our subjects." Business cut in sharply.
"Oh, yes, of course." Snob replied awkwardly; clearly backpedaling. "Anyway, with all these benefits, I can't think of a single reason not to go through with it."
"Um, how about the fact that I already have a wife!" Prime shouted at her supercilious other self; attempting to sound as chastising as possible.
"So what?" replied Snob callously. "One is good, two is better."
"Yeah~" squealed Party Dress. "Twice the brides, means twice the smooches~"
"Not to mention other things~" purred Snob lustfully.
"You're both nuts!" Prime cut in sharply. "I already have one wife, who I love, I can't just go out and get a new one, that's… like… illegal!"
"Only by the laws of the Twenty-First Century." Business corrected her casually. "In today's society, there is no law, in any Kingdom, including ours, that forbids a person from taking more than one wife."
"Plus, in ancient times, it was traditional for Vampire Lords to keep a harem of no less than three brides." Pope chimed in, suddenly sounding more like a scholar. "And I know no one cares, but I'd feel better if we kept at least one of the old traditions alive in the modern era."
"You're right, I don't care what you think, because this whole thing is insane!" Prime said harshly. "There's no way Nikki will ever be okay with this!"
"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that." Snob chimed in suddenly. "As I recall, Nikki and Breakfast Princess have always gotten along swimmingly. Remember how much fun they had together at our last slumber party?"
"Yes, I remember." Prime admitted reluctantly.
"Besides, this marriage is strictly political, Nikki knows she'll always be our one and only. And once she understands that it's for the greater good of our kingdom, I'm sure she'll be willing to share us." Said Party Dress, much to everyone's mutual shock. "What? I'm not allowed to make a smart observation every now and then?"
"Yes… well, at any rate, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is." Said Business; in a clear attempt to regain control of the conversation. "Breakfast Princess is a perfectly lovely girl. She's beautiful, intelligent, well versed in affairs of state; the ideal mate for someone in our position."
"Perfectly Lovely! Are you out of your mind! BP is the biggest snob in Ooo! She's a spoiled, selfish, egomaniacal brat!"
"You say that like it's a bad thang." Snob replied teasingly.
"Besides, don't any of you think it's weird that BP would just suddenly ask us to marry her?" Prime continued; ignoring Snob completely. "I mean, she's gotta be up to something."
"The only thing she's up to is trying to fulfill her wildest fantasy." Answered Business.
"Yeah! She loves us. Everybody knows that." Party Dress chimed in.
"Indeed~ The poor dear's been positively smitten with us ever since she attended out first slumber party all those years ago." Snob purred amusedly. "Surely you've noticed, Darling. How she's always so desperate for our attention. How she's always blushing whenever we're around. How she carries that photo of us in her purse and kisses it when she thinks no one's looking. It's adorable~"
"It's creepy." Prime countered sharply. "And what if there's more to this than just some schoolgirl crush? What if… what if BP's working some kind of power play?"
"Okay, now you're just talking crazy." Said Pope beratingly. "Breakfast Princess already explained everything in her letter. She's fully prepared to turn the Breakfast Kingdom over to her younger sister, so that she may fully dedicate herself to being the new Vampire Princess."
"Yeah, but…"
"And, as you already know, as the Second Vampire Princess, she'll have to split what little authority she has with Nikki. If anything, she seems to be working an anti-power play." Pope continued; her tone more chastising than before. "So really, the worst she'll be able to do is order new furniture without our permission, or… force Bonnie to give her a foot massage."
At the mention of her former lover's name, Prime felt an uncomfortable twinge in her chest.
"Ah~ but that's the real issue, isn't it?" Said Business, apparently sensing her discomfort. "You're worried Bonnie will think less of you if you go through with this."
"What? That's just cra… where do you even… I don't…" Prime stammered awkwardly, but when it became clear she wasn't convincing anyone, especially herself, she let out a sigh of defeat. "Okay fine, but can you blame me? BP's part of the reason Bonnie lost her kingdom. She called for the Vote of No Confidence, she nominated Flame Queen to be her replacement, and she started that nasty smear campaign that turned all the other kingdoms against her. If I agree to marry her after all that, it'd be like stabbing Bonnie in the back."
"Good." Goth spoke up suddenly; her voiced dripping with spite and resentment. "Bubblegum deserves to suffer for what she did to us. She deserves to suffer forever."
"That's crazy!" Prime shot back defensively. "I got over all that junk years ago. I forgave Bonnie. I'm over it."
"You forgave her. I never forgive." Goth replied demonically. "I say we tie the little slut to a chair, and force her to watch us make love to our new bride. Then, when she's finally gone mad with jealousy, we slit her wrists and bleed her like the pig she is!"
An uncomfortable silence fell over the void.
"Eh… moving on." Snob chimed in; sounding more than a little disturbed. "Bonnibel is no longer royalty, she's a servant. And what's more, she's not technically a citizen of our Kingdom. She's not even a vampire. At best, she's a houseguest desperate to earn her keep. And as such, her opinion means very little to us."
"Okay, now you're talking crazy!" Prime shot back venomously. "What kind of spoiled, elitist snob thinks like that?"
"You do." Snob answered bluntly. "We're all the same person, remember? Everything we've said has already crossed your mind. This stupid ritual may have split us up for the moment but make no mistake, we are all one and the same. So, if I think of Bonnibel as nothing more than a servant, then that means you do too."
"No! That's not true! I don't… I mean I… I…"
"I'm afraid it is." Business cut in hollowly. "You know as well as I, that when we were one, we had already made up our mind to marry Breakfast Princess, but still there was one lingering trace of doubt. So you performed the Ritual of Separation, in the hopes that one of us would give you a better excuse not to go through with it. But alas, you have failed. Soon the ritual will end, and our mind will be made up once more."
"But… I don't love her."
"I realize that. And in truth none of us do. But the benefits far outweigh any minor inconveniences a second spouse might cause us." Business continued, her stern face never shifting an inch. "For what it's worth, I regret this decision almost as much as you do. But we are a Queen. And as such we do not always have the luxury of acting selfishly. Our people come first. Even before our own happiness."
"I… I really have no choice, do I?"
"No."
FOOOOM!
And just like that, all was as it should be.
The Queen was back in her private chamber; her mind once again in one piece.
So, with a weary sigh, she closed her eyes and said to herself.
"I know what I have to do."
End Notes:
Well folks, here's that special surprise I promised you. What is it, you ask? Well… while I've been focusing on my WoY series, I've also been taking notes on all the ideas I've come up with for this delightful AU I've created. And since I made you wait so long, and since I'm sick of trying to find a way to reveal certain things organically, I've decided to share some of my notes with you. Nothing too shocking or spoilery, just some stuff I thought you might find interesting. Enjoy.
1) Pakhet, formerly known as Huntress Wizard, was first 'initiated' into the Vampire Kingdom approximately one year before the events of Slumber Party Panic. She was hired by Ash to assassinate Marceline, but his plan backfired when the Queen accidentally bit her would be killer during a struggle; leading to a final confrontation that ended with Ash having his mind shattered by Marcy's Queen's Eye technique. Since then, Pakhet has been a loyal and obedient servant to her new mistress, and even served as her bodyguard for a time. When she first met Finn, Pakhet initially wrote him off as a thrill-seeking doofus, but after he lost his arm and fell into a deep depression, she took pity on him and took him on a hunting trip to help restore his warrior's spirit. The exact events of this trip are a mystery to the general public, but when Finn returned from the wilderness, he did so with a new arm and a new girlfriend. Finn doesn't know this, but Pakhet often fanaticizes about the two of them living together in the forest for all eternity; living off the land as nature intended.
2) It should come as no surprise to you that Marceline's relationship with her Father is far from ideal in this reality; which is why she chooses to go by her Mother's last name instead of his. In fact, she has not seen, spoken to, or even thought about the Dark Lord of the Nighosphere in over nine hundred years; as far as she is concerned, Simon Petrikov is her one and only father. Sometime after gaining some notoriety within the inner circle of Ooo Royalty, Marceline made it a point to mention that the Ice King is her real father; an act that has saved the mad old man from many unnecessary beatings. He has been made aware of this on multiple occasions, but his diseased mind causes him to forget it after a while, so for the most part he just sees Marcy as his very best friend in the world.
3) Following PB's banishment, the Candy Kingdom became an official satellite state of the Fire Kingdom; essentially placing both Kingdoms under Flame Queen's complete control. For the time being, FQ and her husband Prince-Regent Cinnamon Bun have taken up residency in the Candy Kingdom Royal Palace while she is busy restructuring the local government, economy, military, etc. to better suit her needs. While she's away, the Fire Kingdom is under the stewardship of the Cult of Vulcan, a small cabal created by Flame Queen that is loyal only to her; it's membership consists of Incendo the Hermit, Combuster the Chariot, and Leroy the Magician. Despite being a fair and just ruler, there are still many citizens within the Candy Kingdom who resent Flame Queen for ousting their beloved Princess; several of whom have banded together to form a small, unorganized, ill-equipped, but still rather annoying underground resistance movement to try and restore PB to the throne. Because of this and several other problems, FQ has taken to stress eating, which has caused her to take on a much more… plump appearance in recent months; much to PB's amusement and CB's delight.
4) It is worth noting that in this timeline, Orgalorg never stole PB's rocket, so the Catalyst Comet collided with Ooo right on schedule. Sometime around midafternoon on the day of PB's humiliating removal from power, the Comet crashed somewhere deep within the Badlands, where it's cosmic energies merged with a common rattlesnake; transforming it into a giant, purple, serpent-creature, who would later become known as Plutus the Prince of Greed. Sometime after his birth, Plutus used his strange powers to create a pristine oasis in the Badlands that he later used as bait for every thief, lowlife, and scumbag hiding out there. Over time, he and his new followers created a new nation in the Badlands, the Vice Kingdom; a thriving Mecca for gamblers, crooks, killers, and creeps. So far, Plutus appears to have no goal other than providing the undesirables of Ooo a safe place where they can indulge in their baser impulses, but Marceline and many other Royals are keeping a close eye on him just in case.
5) All Vampires pass on their condition by releasing a special type of venom into a victim's bloodstream via their fangs. However, the venom of a King or Queen tends to be much more potent than that of a normal vampire, so their creations are often more powerful. Of course, since Marceline is also half demon, her venom tends to give her creations certain unexpected abilities. For example:
Sobek the River Guardian: Hydrokinesis.
Khnum the Spy Master: Enhanced Shapeshifting.
Thoth the Grand Librarian: Precognition.
Anubis the Sword Master: Super Speed.
Serket the Grand Apothecary: Ferrokinesis.
Set the Trickster King: Enhanced Shadowcery.
Osiris the Gambler King: Soul Sucking.
Horus the Palace Guardian: Cryokinesis.
Atum the Game Master: Soul Vision (aka Lie Detector Vision)
Shu the Void Caster: Spatial Manipulation.
6) In total, Marceline will take three Brides. The first is Nikki, the Water Nymph. The second is Barbie, formerly Breakfast Princess. The third is Georgette, formerly Jungle Princess. She marries each of them for different reasons, but over the years she learns to love them all; a good thing since she's stuck with them for all eternity.
