Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!


A sudden thump somewhere near her head startled Rey awake, and she flinched. Slightly disoriented, she peered around the cave, hoping not to draw attention to herself, until her eyes landed on Ren, flopped on the ground mere inches away from her. He must have just come in, she thought, and sat up. When he didn't immediately move, she nudged him gently with her fingertips. "Hey." Nothing. "Hey, are you alright?" she inquired more forcefully, and gave him an extra jab for good measure.

He lifted his head groggily, looking around. Had he really lost consciousness? Perhaps the cold had affected him more than he'd realized. Scrambling to a sitting position, he nodded. 'Yes, I'm fine. I just..." he pointed to the pile of leaves next to them. "Did you find any berries? That leaf there - it belongs to the Darkkoninn plant. The berries are poisonous." Even as he asked the question, he knew she couldn't have eaten the berries, or she would be violently ill, if not already dead. Gesturing toward the dead bird he'd dropped on the ground, he said, "I found something for us to eat. We'll have to cook it, but it should have plenty of meat on it."

She leaned over and made a retching noise before straightening up, a smirk spreading across her face. "I know better than to eat a strange plant on a strange planet. You don't really think I'm that stupid, do you?" She peered over the fire at an ambiguous lump on the ground. "You're going to cook that?" she queried, amused at the idea. There was no way this tempestuous man cooked anything, much less had any idea what to do with an entire animal before cooking it.

"I - uh -" He hadn't even thought about the preparation that would have to take place in order to cook the bird. "I guess I was hoping you could help..." Once more he felt a blush creep up his neck. If Rey had been afraid of him before, she certainly wouldn't be after this night. "Do you know how to prepare a bird for roasting?" he asked hopefully.

He had to be joking. She looked back at him like he had suddenly grown a second head. "When in my life do you think I've had a bird to roast or a place to roast it?" She asked incredulously. "Do you think AT-ATs come with gourmet kitchens? Do you think this is a skill I magically possess because I'm a woman?"

He gaped at her, taken off guard by her response. "I only thought, since you'd been on your own for so long...you might have more knowledge about such things than I..." Realizing it was a losing battle, he shook his head and moved to pick up the bird. "There can't be too much to it, right? I mean, we've got the fire..." He held up the dead animal and looked it over. "I guess I'll pluck the feathers." He sat down and got to work on the bird, wishing he could use the force to remove all the feathers at once, but ultimately deciding that the attempt might end in the creature being splattered all over the cave walls, rather than neatly plucked and prepped for roasting. He grumbled under his breath as he worked, complaining about ungrateful women.

His brief reasoning on how to prepare the bird solidified Rey's suspicion that he had no idea what he was doing, and still hadn't thought it through properly. As he began to whine about doing the work, her temper began to rise. She hadn't intended to start another fight with him, but she couldn't help herself. If anyone knew about being ungrateful it was this man, she thought, glowering through the fire at him. He'd grown up with everything she'd ever dreamed of and had thrown it away. She had tried appropriately hard to bite her tongue, she reassured herself, and this wasn't something she could let go. She clenched her jaw tighter as she continued to scowl at him, and couldn't restrain herself any longer. "What do you know about ungrateful women?" she spat at him accusingly.

Reflexively he closed his eyes at her verbal assault. His patience, like hers, was wearing thin, and he briefly considered force pushing her back against the wall and leaving her there, gagged. But since he'd already come so far in trying to win her trust, he knew that would be counterproductive. Instead, he leveled a fiery glare in her direction and said, "Do you really believe the things you're saying? You think my life has been all sunshine and sweets? You have no idea what my life has been like, or what I've been through. I have made choices that you disagree with, yes. But that does not give you the right to pass judgement on me." He looked down at his hands to see that he'd accidentally severed a leg and thigh off the rest of the bird in his anger." Sighing, he forced his temper back down. "I am doing the best I can here," he admitted weakly, then added, "I'm sorry if I don't stand up to the legendary Han Solo in your estimation. Spending 24 hours with my father does not make you an expert on the man."

For one brief, petrifying moment, she had felt a blazing fury radiating off him and she was certain she was about to be on the receiving end of a particularly unpleasant Force assault, but, just as quickly, the feeling passed. She blinked, still rigid in anticipation of an attack. She didn't understand why she seemed increasingly cognizant of his feelings, but it was becoming apparent that she was. Though he seemed to subdue himself, she couldn't. "It's not about him," she shot back through gritted teeth. "You have a family, even if they aren't perfect. And they still love you, even after everything you've done." 'And my family never cared enough to come back for me,' she thought forlornly, far too proud to ever admit that to him.

Her words hit a nerve - his family -his mother. He had tried for years to close himself off from his mother, to disconnect himself from his past. Han Solo had been one thing - and difficult enough - but he could never completely turn away from Leia. The wince he felt internally was mirrored outwardly on his face, and he knew there was no point in even trying to hide it. Looking downward, he said softly, "I know." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Look. I know that I have not been the type of person you choose to call a friend. I have done things that I'm not proud of. I've...hurt...people." His brow furrowed as he chose his words carefully. "You may find it difficult to believe, but I do not take pleasure in causing others pain. I do what I do because I have to." He hazarded a look at Rey, trying to gauge her reaction. With a subtle shake of his head, he continued, "I know that it's too late for me. My mother could not forgive me for what I've done."

Whatever she had been expecting from him - cold fury, yelling, the destruction of a wall with his lightsaber - was certainly not the scene unfolding before her now. He looked hurt, tormented even, by the thought of his mother, Leia. Her stomach knotted as she thought of the General. Rey could only dream of the woman she so admired caring for her the way she cared for her son, and she had half a mind to tell him that. As she kept her eyes fixed on him though, the anguish written across his face was so great that she thought better of it. She didn't have to like him, and she certainly didn't have to comfort him, but she couldn't kick the man when he was already down. "Sorry," she apologized, and forced a small smile that felt almost mocking under the circumstances. "Let's just forget I brought it up and focus on cooking something."

"Right..." he dropped his gaze back to the bird in his hands. He'd nearly forgotten all about it, with the flood of memory and emotion that had washed over him in the preceding moments. He finished plucking the feathers in brooding silence. When he had finished, he looked up to Rey with a small but triumphant smile. For the first time since they'd been stranded in this snow storm, he felt like something he'd attempted had gone to plan. "Now, we just need a way to prop it over the fire." He looked around for a long stick or something that could be used.

She plopped back down on the ground after he conceded to her suggestion. She watched him continue to prepare the bird, and noticed as he wrinkled his brow in concentration. This was the perfect time to explore the phenomenon she'd noticed earlier; his attention was focused on the task at hand, and he wasn't pausing to look up at her. She had been pondering the apparent link between the two of them, and, keeping an eye on Ren, she relaxed and opened herself to the Force. She let her consciousness melt into it and reached out to his mind, hoping not to alert him to her presence. As she drifted closer to it, her connection was suddenly severed by his voice. Cursing internally, she realized he was discussing the task of cooking the bird, not castigating her for venturing near his consciousness. With great effort, she concentrated on the words he was saying. 'Of course,' she thought, 'he's talking about how to cook the thing.' Calmed by his seeming ignorance to what she had just attempted, she looked back at him and was surprised to catch a glimpse of a smile. "I can go look– there was a lot of vegetation further in the caves, I'm sure there's something we can use there."

He could sense a brief moment of panic in the girl, but it faded quickly, and he didn't dwell on it, still being quite satisfied with his success in removing the feathers from the bird he'd caught. "You know..." He started thoughtfully, "it was wise of you to look for vegetation in the cave. I should have thought of that myself." He studied the pile of leaves that lay next to him. "Some of these I do not recognize," he said hesitantly. "But some I do know. And I think we could use some of them to season the bird." Suddenly an idea occurred to him and he scrambled to his feet. "Wait a minute," he exclaimed. "I have a better idea!" A cursory glance around the cave revealed bits of stone scattered around the cave floor, from when he'd taken his frustration out on the cave wall earlier. If he could find one just the right shape... Finding a slightly arced flat piece of stone, he picked it up and displayed it proudly. "We can use this like a baking dish!" he winced at the sound of his own voice. He hadn't been so excited about a rock since he'd been a child.

She tried, and failed, to stifle a giggle at his sudden enthusiasm about cooking. She immediately regretted it though, hoping he didn't think she was judging him. Her amusement had been genuine, driven mostly by his uncharacteristic excitement. 'And,' she thought selfishly, 'I don't want him so angry at me that he refuses to let me eat some of it.' Struggling to come up with a way to show she hadn't meant it maliciously, Rey reached out and levitated the stone a few inches out of his hands. "You sure about that?" she inquired, her voice bubbling with laughter. "It doesn't seem like that one wants to cooperate with you."

He scowled at Rey when she tried to choke back her giggle, but his joy over the promise of food to come outweighed his chagrin, and his frown turned into a wide grin. When she levitated the rock out of his hands, he couldn't stifle his own laughter. "Hey~" he retorted, grabbing the stone back out of the air. For the first time since they'd gotten stuck in the cave, they shared a moment of camaraderie, and it felt...good! Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Kylo cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the task at hand. "I think we should cut it up," he said, studying the large fowl. "It will cook more evenly and quickly that way." He took out his lightsaber and very carefully sliced through the bird separating the portions of meat, and then arranged them on the stone with a few of the herbs Rey had found. "Would you like to do the honors?" He asked, gesturing toward the meat on the stone dish. "We can just place it in the fire."

Rey rewarded his laughter with a brilliant smile of her own, and was about to snatch the stone back out of his hands when his demeanor abruptly changed, breaking the spell. She was about to offer him the small dagger she kept strapped to her waist at all times, but he had already begun to cut up the meat with his lightsaber. She dropped her hand, chiding herself for nearly revealing her hidden weapon. As she watched him carefully manipulate the glowing blade, she wondered if the cheerful young man she had just seen wasn't a glimpse at Ben Solo, and she felt a pang of sadness, remembering Leia. Drawn back to the present by the fizzling of a retracting lightsaber, she paused for a moment and answered him with an "Of course," and a small smile. Concentrating hard, she slowly suspended the slab in midair, floated it over the fire and set it down ever so gently amidst the flames. She'd been practicing levitating objects with Master Luke, and though he hadn't pushed her hard so far, she'd worked on the skill for many hours on her own, and couldn't deny that she was a little pleased with the opportunity to show it off.

He was duly impressed with her use of the force to move objects. Nodding his approval, he offered a half grin as the meat was lowered into the flames. "Very good," he said sincerely, turning his gaze onto her. They had shared a moment of connection- as equals - not mortal enemies. It was a strange feeling, letting his defenses down. It terrified him, but also electrified him. He let his eyes wander over her face and down her body, which was mostly obscured by his very large robes, and once again he wondered about her identity. He'd spent hours contemplating who she could have been, and he was almost certain that he knew the answer. But there was only one way to be sure - to access her memories. And he was pretty sure she would not willingly allow him to do that. Dropping his gaze to the ground and then to the flames licking at the glistening poultry, he lowered himself to sit by the fire again. "Why don't you come and sit with me?" he asked, looking back up at Rey.

A swell of pride rose in Rey's chest at the affirmation coming from the young man before her. She wasn't sure why she wanted his approval, and even less why it evoked such a positive reaction in her, but any reflection on that was cut short as he turned towards her. She squirmed under his piercing stare, shifting uncomfortably as his gaze traveled downward, leaving a burning sensation in its wake. She flushed, embarrassed both by his undivided attention and her response to it, and incredibly thankful that she had elected to keep on his long cloak, which concealed the lines and curves of her body from him. She let out a soft sigh of relief as he finished his appraisal of her and directed his focus elsewhere, and was caught off guard by the suggestion that she sit with him. She watched him warily for a moment before giving him a slight nod; she wandered within a few feet of him before settling down near the fire and turning to face him, her brow cocked in a questioning manner.

He offered a soft smile as Rey sat down next to him. Years of discipline in the ways of the force had trained him to set aside personal attachments. Although it was not forbidden for training Sith to take a lover - or several lovers – he had always considered entanglement with the opposite sex to be a distraction at best, or a weakness. Always he was keenly aware of his grandfather's errors in judgement. Sentiment had been his undoing. Besides, there weren't many females on board the Finalizer or on Starkiller Base, and there had been no one who had really caught his attention. At least not until now. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, causing his stomach to twist in knots. This girl who had nearly killed him, had worked her way under his skin, and it terrified him. He looked into her eyes, trying to gauge how much of his thoughts she could discern, but his mind was so clouded by the dense fog of emotion settling over him that he couldn't be sure. "Um..." he sputtered, voice quiet, "You've been training. I'm impressed." He shifted awkwardly. "I assume you've been with my Uncle." He was grasping for straws with this conversation, but his mind had gone suddenly blank.

When he caught her gaze, Rey watched his eyes cloud over, as if he was preoccupied with pressing matters. As they sat in uneasy silence, she began to feel a tumultuous energy radiating off him, building in intensity until it poured into the space around them. She wondered whether the turmoil raging within him was about his family. She was haunted by a family she couldn't even remember, and she could only imagine the anguish he felt turning his back on the parents and relatives who had loved and cared for him for so many years. Her suspicions were seemingly confirmed as he asked about his uncle. She was sure he already knew the answer; there was no one else in the galaxy left to teach her, and she responded with an inelegant "Yeah… um, yes." For a moment, she concerned telling him that Luke missed him, and she could tell that he thought of his nephew daily. She immediately thought better of it before breaking eye contact and pointedly staring at the rapidly browning meat still sitting in the fire, hoping his end game would become clear if he continued speaking.

He nodded. It had been a silly question since, to his knowledge, there were no other surviving Jedi beyond Luke. Still focusing his gaze on the fire, he pressed on. "Rey...I know you can't remember your family. I've seen your mind. I know...the pain you've felt in their absence." He paused, fiddling awkwardly with his hands. When he spoke again, it was softly, and he brought his gaze up to meet hers. "I could help you...remember. The memories are there. They just need to be unlocked."

His first comment about her family had caused Rey to stiffen and blink back a few tears. By the end of his proposal, she felt slightly nauseous and was desperately attempting to rebuild the emotional walls she had put in place over the last fifteen years of her life. How could he have known she was thinking of her family? She hadn't felt his presence in her thoughts, and she certainly hadn't felt the telltale discomfort that accompanied his previous attempts to force his way into her mind. 'Probably just a lucky guess,' she tried to reassure herself. In truth, it was her biggest weakness, which she had known even before Luke has gently pointed it out to her. She'd be damned if she was going to open up to the Master of the Knights of Ren about this. "I don't know what you're talking about," she intoned flatly, looking away again. "Look, the food's done, I'll just take it out and we can have something to eat before we go to sleep."