A/N: WOW OKAY. I'M BACK. MISS ME? (probably not but oh well) I'm sorry it's been like 2 and a half months since I last updated this story but here I am now! With a new chapter that has has 12,000+ words! I hope it's worth the wait! I thought about splitting this chapter in half again because it was way too long but naaah. I hope you guys like it!
btw, I haven't said a disclaimer at the beginning yet so I'll say it here-
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dan or Phil and I am not claiming that Phan is real.
(oh and I changed youknowwho's name)
"I like to share beds with my best friends. Have you and Phil ever slept in the same bed?"
"I actually love innocently sleeping in the same beds as friends. I don't know why, it's one of my favorite things. And yes."
-Dan on his old formspring (?)
Chapter 8:
"It looks like the rain's about to fall any minute now…" I repeated as I stuffed the Where The Wild Things Are plushie in my bag, still walking around the neighborhood to my house and flinching a bit when the sky suddenly thundered again.
Phil looked up at the gray sky for a moment and then turned to me, smirking. "'Wanna race to your house then?"
I zipped up my bag and turned to him with a scoff. "Yeah right, I'd rather get soaked in the rain than cough up my lungs and die."
Phil chuckled at my statement and shrugged. "Alright then,"
The sky suddenly thundered again, a lot louder this time. I looked back up at the gray sky and looked around the neighborhood, spotting my house a few blocks away. I looked at Phil, then at my house from afar, then back at Phil and then back at the house. I bit my lip and thought about considering Phil's racing offer but before I could even fully consider it, my feet suddenly sprung to life and I started sprinting across the neighborhood before my brain could even process anything. I heard Phil's surprised yelp from behind and then also heard his increasing footsteps a split second later.
I smirked to myself as I rapidly moved my feet, ignoring the very few people that littered around the streets. My bag bounced against my back, my heart pounded rapidly and my breath became shorter and shorter by the second. I was ridiculously unfit, why did I even consider this?
When we finally arrived in front of the house, I quickly run up the front, not at all caring if I was out of breath, and slammed my hands on the front door, stopping myself and balancing my stance. I gasped to catch my breath and turned around to see Phil slowing down and stopping behind me.
"I win," I said in between breaths.
"Congratulations." Phil breathed out. He placed both his hands on his knees and leaned forward to steady his own breathing as he slowly walked up to the door.
"Oh god, why did we even do that? I'm literally dying…" I said, laughing a bit at the end.
"Honestly, I don't know," Phil tiredly chuckled, "god, I'm so unfit…"
I nodded at his statement, raised my hand up and said, "Same…"
At the exact moment when Phil leaned his back on the door, the rain finally came and poured down. It was like he just leaned on the 'rain' button. Luckily, we were being covered by the shade on the front porch.
We just stared at the rain covered neighborhood for a few minutes as we caught our breaths and listened to the sound of heavy raindrops splashing across the pavement. I looked at Phil and we both stared at each other for a few seconds before breaking into a fit of laughter. I guess it was a good idea to race back; we'd be completely soaked in the rain if we'd walk all the way here.
"We got back just in time, huh?" I asked in between laughs and Phil simply nodded, still giggling a bit.
After we both finally caught our own breaths, which surprisingly didn't take a billion years, I lifted myself off the door and turned around to open it. I fumbled with my keys in my pocket, brought it out and unlocked the door. "We better get inside."
"Yeah," Phil simply breathed out as he stood up properly.
I swung the door open and quickly gestured Phil in. We walked into the lounge and dropped both our bags on the sofa. "You should sit down; I'll go get us something to drink."
Phil breathed out a quick 'thank you' before he dropped down and sat on the sofa, sulking himself in the cushions. I smiled at him before walking off into the kitchen.
"What would you like to drink?" I asked from the kitchen, hopefully loud enough.
"Just water would be nice, thanks." I heard Phil shout from the lounge and I quickly grabbed two tall glasses and filled them up with tap water.
I walked back into the lounge, with two pints of water in hand, and saw Phil crouched down in front of a small shelf filled with picture frames.
"Uh, hey," I called out.
Phil turned around and I lifted both pints of water, showing him that I have our drinks. He simply smiled at me.
"Oh hey, I hope you don't mind that I…" he trailed off as he gestured towards the picture frames.
"Not at all," I reassured as I approached him and handed him his drink.
Phil nodded 'thanks' as he grabbed his glass and turned back to the shelves. "Who's this little 'fella right here?"
I crouched down next to him and looked at the person in the picture he was pointing at. It was a picture of me and Alex in front of a castle in Windsor, and Phil was pointing at Alex. "That's my little brother, Alex."
Phil then looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "You have a little brother?"
I nodded at him.
"Where is he?"
"He's in a school camping trip; he'll be back in like two days."
"Oh, I see," Phil turned back to the picture, "how old is he?"
"About ten."
"Ah," Phil took a sip from his glass, "I hope this storm doesn't reach to wherever they're camping at."
"They're camping somewhere far from Manchester, so probably not."
Phil nodded his head along. "He looks just like you."
I turned to him with a smirk. "You think so?"
Phil looked at me and gave me a kind of lopsided smile.
"Mh-hm," he simply hummed in agreement.
Phil's eyes darted from my eyes to my nose and then to my lips, which made me gulp hard as I felt my heart thump a little faster. Our faces were literally a few centimeters away from each other. But then I realized that his eyes continued to dart around my entire face, studying every single feature, every single freckle that I had. It was like he was double checking to see if I do look like Alex. My face was probably as red as it could get at this point, and I think Phil noticed that as well because when our eyes met again, he quickly looked away and took a big gulp of water.
I looked down at my own drink, realized that I haven't even drunk anything yet, then brought it up to my lips and drank half of the pint. I licked the remains of water on my lips and nervously tapped my fingers on the glass.
"So…" I finally said after a prolonged time of awkward silence. I cleared my throat as I turned back to him, seeing him looking down at his half empty glass and biting his lower lip, "videogames?"
His face lit up again as he looked back up at me with a wide grin. "Yeah!"
I looked out the window as the sky gave out another loud thunder, it seemed like this storm wasn't going to stop. I looked away from the window and continued to unravel the DDR mat in my hands, laying it down afterwards on the floor in front of the television as Phil watched from the sofa.
After playing a few levels of Crash Bandicoot, Portal 2 and a few rounds of Guitar Hero, it was time to play something a bit more physically exhausting (even though we had sprinted across the neighborhood earlier and coughed up our internal organs).
"Alright," I enthusiastically said as I completely set the game up, "who's going first?"
Phil shrugged from his seat then slowly stood up. "May I?"
I playfully bowed down and gracefully motioned him towards the mat. "You may."
I looked back up and saw Phil shaking his head in amusement as he approached the mat. I sat down on the sofa and watched as Phil picked a song and got ready for it. When the arrows appeared on the screen, Phil started to spazz out into the mat and tried his best to hit every single arrow on the screen, but only failing miserably (and kind of adorably).
"When is this song going to end?!" Phil yelped as he continued to randomly step on the mat. And I laughed at his question.
"Phil, you're not even half way through the song yet," I said as I finished my pint of water that was just sort of sitting there for a few hours now.
"What?!" Phil exclaimed loudly as he hit a few arrows and missed a bunch of them on the screen, "Oh god, my legs are aching. This song is way too hard!"
"Need any help?" I chuckled out, "you could just step off the mat and I could finish it for you."
Phil tore his attention away from the screen and looked back at me, giving out an exhausted laugh. "Yeah okay, go ahead. See if you could do it."
I promptly stood up from the sofa and approached Phil. He stepped off the mat and I quickly jumped on it, and practically hit on every arrow that passed by, getting combos and the score multiplying rapidly. I bit my lip in concentration as I continued to step on the arrows and continued until the song finished, it was a long song. Phil remained surprisingly quiet the entire round, although I heard quiet and occasionally trailed off 'whoa's from him.
As the song began to end, I slammed my foot on the last arrow and turned to Phil. His jaw was completely dropped. "Whoa, how did you do that?!"
"Impressive, yeah?" I asked. I was actually somewhat proud of my DDR skills; I have beaten every single one of my friends whenever we would go to an arcade game. I've also actually competed with Jill in DDR, she said she was really good at it and I challenged her. And when I defeated her, she threw a hissy fit on how her side was broken and whatnot.
"Quite," Phil simply said, "your feet were all over the place! You were like frikin' Beyonce!"
I laughed at his statement and pretended to bow down gracefully. "Why thank you."
Phil dropped himself on the couch and let out an exasperated sigh. "Okay, well that was kind of tiring. Can we take a break and just watch a movie or something?"
I slumped down next to him and put both my feet up the coffee table. "Yeah sure, what do you want to watch?"
"What do you have?"
I looked around and simply pointed at the shelf filled with DVDs. "Over there."
Phil stood up, walked to the shelf and scanned it. After a few minutes of scanning, Phil finally brought out a DVD and showed it to me first. "Can we watch this? I haven't seen this yet."
I merely shrugged at his choice of movie. "Sure, I haven't seen that one either, even though it's been on the shelf for several months now."
Phil grinned at me before he strolled to the DVD player and inserted the movie 'WALL-E'.
(A/N- WARNING: WALL-E SPOILERS AHEAD)
"No…" I heard Phil whisper as we watched the scene where Eve finished repairing Wall-e, "h-he can't forget…"
I remained completely silent as I clutched tightly at a pillow, trying to desperately hold my tears in. I was usually the one who cries or gets scared easily at films, not because I was a pansy or a wuss or anything; it was because I get really into them, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
I couldn't hold back anymore, tears started to steam down my face and I quickly hid under my pillow to sniffle, also wiping my tears in the process. I lifted my head up from the pillow and took a glimpse of Phil at the other end of the sofa. He brought his knees up closer to his chest and hugged them tightly as a silent tear rolled down his cheek; I guess I wasn't the only one who got into movies like this. I set my eyes back to the screen and continued to watch the movie.
After we watched the scene where Wall-e suddenly remembered everything again, I let out a huge relieved sigh, "Thank god."
Phil chuckled as he wiped his tears away, "I'm glad they didn't end it there."
"That would suck so badly," I added as we watched the credits roll, "so what do you think of the movie? Good?"
"Really good!" Phil turned to me and enthusiastically held two thumbs up, "I give four starts out of five. What about you? You like it?"
"I'd say I like it. I mean, I cried so," I shrugged at him, "yeah, it was good."
"Yeah, but I have something that bothered me throughout the whole movie though," Phil said suddenly said.
"Okay? What it is?"
"Wall-e's a robot, yeah?" I looked at him and nodded.
"Well, aren't robots supposed to not have emotions?" Phil pointed out, "Why does Wall-e have emotions? Like- he could be happy, sad, heart broken and he even fell in love. I mean, what's the scientific explanation for that?"
I raised my eyebrow at his question. He's got a point.
"Okay, well technically, I'd say it's because it's just a movie, but let's think about this rationally," I said as I shifted myself from my seat, "when humans abandoned earth and left a bunch of Wall-e's to clean up the mess, it was the year 2105, so people probably had enough time to make highly advanced motherboards or something. And maybe Wall-e gained human-like emotions when he was left alone by himself after several other Wall-e's died and fascinated himself with several 'human artifacts'."
Phil nodded along to my explanation but then furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "That…doesn't make any sense, Dan."
I scoffed at him and playfully rolled my eyes. "You know what? I have no idea; it's just a movie, okay? Don't question it."
"Alright then," Phil smiled, "but it just kept bothering me that he's a robot and he fell in love."
I turned to him with an arched eyebrow. "Why does that kept bothering you?"
Phil hugged his knees tightly and looked down. "My umm, friend back at home said that love doesn't exist. That love is just something humans made up as an excuse to 'repopulate the earth'. Saying that you 'love' someone basically means that you just want to have sex with them or something…" he said in a small voice, his cheeks turning pink, "if love is just a thing humans made up for themselves then why did Wall-e fall in love? He's not even human."
"Wait- what?" I stopped him, "your friend said that love is just an excuse that humans made up so they could have sex with people?"
Phil looked up from his knees and nodded. My jaw slowly dropped in disbelief.
What the fuck- what kind of theory was that?
"And you believed him?"
"No, of course not. Well, I almost did back then…" Phil admitted, "I mean, he was a very science-y person and almost everything he said was true."
"Okay- right, I'm just going to mindlessly point out the flaws in that 'theory'," I said sassily, "First of all, we're not animals. Just because we're attracted to one person, doesn't automatically mean we want to have sex with them. And second of all, there are different kinds of love. Like I said last week, there's parental love, brotherly, sisterly, platonic kind of love and a bunch more. So if your mum says that she loves you, she wants to have sex with you? Is that what that means? Obviously not. If it is… then get the fuck away from your mum."
Phil lightly chuckled at my statement.
"You see? For a science-y and smart type of person, your friend is incredibly wrong about that," I finished as I rested both my feet on the coffee table.
"He was kind of an asshole, actually. Quite heartless, so I guess that explains that." Phil casually said as he unraveled his arms from his knees and brought them down to sit properly on the sofa, "I don't know why I was friends with him to be honest…"
Phil stared at the credits rolling, awkward silence filling in the room again.
"You know… I'm kind of a science-y person too, but I guess I just don't see love that way. I mean, I don't really understand human emotion itself so," I shrugged, "I just leave it to what it is. Whatever it is, I mean."
"Yeah, okay…" Phil quietly said as he bit his lip and turned back to the screen.
I mindlessly stared at the tv screen and watched the credits roll. I listened to the soundtrack and thought about what Phil said, or rather what Phil's friend said. It made me wonder a lot of things. What is love? Is it an emotion? Is it a chemical reaction? Does it actually exist? If it does, then how would you know if you love someone (or something)? How do you fall in love? How would you know if you've fallen in love? So many unanswered questions filled my head.
I was pulled away from my thoughts when my phone suddenly rang, a Final Fantasy VII soundtrack emitting from my phone as the ring tone. I quickly stretched out and reached for my phone on the coffee table.
"Mum is calling"
"Dan?" Phil suddenly said.
I stared away from the phone and turned to Phil. "Yeah?"
"Sorry, but can I use your bathroom? I need to wee." Phil shyly said as he twiddled his thumbs.
I chuckled quietly at Phil. "Yeah of course, up the stairs and first door to the left."
Phil nodded thanks then quickly got off the sofa and sped walked into the bathroom.
As Phil left the room, I quickly unlocked the phone and answered it. "Hello?"
"Dan? It's your mum. We just landed in India and we wanted to check on you."
I grabbed the remote and let on a random television program. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"We called Aunt Olivia and she said it's storming there in Manchester. Are the windows all closed? Is the ceiling leaking?"
"Yeah, all windows close and no, as far as I know, the ceiling isn't leaking."
"Are you sure? Because the ceiling in the kitchen leaked in the last storm."
"We already got the ceiling fixed, remember? It's not leaking anymore." I huffed in annoyance.
"Oh right…" I heard my mum breath out, "but are you sure?"
"Yes," I groaned slightly in frustration, "yes, I'm sure."
Then I suddenly head Phil yelp in the hallway. Okay, what happened this time? "Hang on, mum."
I covered the phone's mic and yelled "Phil? You alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Dan? Who was that? Your brother?" my mum suddenly asked from the phone.
I brought the phone back up against my ear. "Err, no. Alex's still at camp, I-I brought someone home, if that's okay."
"Daniel, if you brought your girlfriend home to do your 'business' with her while we're away. I swear, when we get back home, we're going to-"
"No!" I quickly shouted, a bit too loud, "N-No, he's just- it's just a friend, mum. I just thought we could hang out for a bit. I think he'll leave in a few minutes, it's getting pretty late."
"Oh okay. Well, we just wanted to check up on you. Make sure to eat your dinner, okay?"
"Okay,"
"Bye, Dan." and with those words, my mum hung up.
I sighed and stared at my phone as Phil came in the room and sat back down next to me, bringing his knees up with him. "Who was that?"
"Just my mum," I said as I turned to him and shyly smiled, "she just wanted to check on me, huge storm and all."
"Ah, I see…" Phil awkwardly tapped his fingers on his knees, "I love your ring tone by the way. What other songs do you have on your phone?"
I raised both my eyebrows in curiosity and scrolled through a bunch of songs in my phone. "Umm, let's see. There's Muse, My Chemical Romance, some Radiohead and then Kanye West." I laughed a bit at the end.
"Wha- where did Kanye West come from?" Phil said, laughing with me.
"Oy- hey, hey. I like Kanye West, okay?" I said, still giggling a bit, "he might not be the best person in the world but you got to admit, his music is pretty good."
Phil just rolled his eyes at me and sighed in defeat. "Yeah, okay."
I shook my head at him and continued to scroll down my phone, passing some Fall Out Boy and Beyonce.
"Hey, we should like, play a mini game where you put your music in random and whatever song comes up will predict your future or say something about your life." Phil suddenly said.
I looked at him and gave him a confused look. "What?"
"Well you know like -for example, I'll put my music in random and the song that comes up next will happen to me this Christmas," Phil said as he grabbed his phone and put his music in random, "it's Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood."
I looked up at Phil and wiggled my eyebrows suggestively at him in a playful manner. Phil just stared at his phone blankly as the music played, his face turning a bright red.
"Umm, yeah okay. Like that's ever going to happen to me in Christmas but according to this, it will happen," Phil said chuckling nervously, "totally looking forward to that then."
I just rolled my eyes at him playfully. "Okay, I think I got it. So, I'm just going to put my music in random?"
"Yeah, and the song that comes up next describes your birth!" Phil said enthusiastically.
I chuckled and shook my head at him in amusement as I put on the next song on random. "Out of all the things you could've picked, you picked birth?"
He raised his shoulders up and shrugged. "I don't know. Now c'mon, what came up?"
"It's Bring Me To Life by Evanescence," I said smiling, "pretty accurate, wouldn't you say?"
"Yup, I think so," Phil nodded his head along, "okay, the next song will describe your death."
"My death? Oh god," I said as I put on the next song, "it's All Of The Lights by Kanye West."
"What does that mean? You died then went to heaven or something?"
"Yeah, I doubt that would ever happen. I think I'd most likely end up in hell," I said with a chuckle then turned to Phil, "what about you? The next song you put on random on your phone describes your birth."
Phil looked down on his phone and played the next randomized song. "It's Uprising by Muse."
"Hmm… seems a bit fitting, doesn't it?"
"Kind of, yeah," Phil nodded.
"Okay, now what about your death?"
Phil looked down and played the next song. "It's Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance."
"Ooh, good one," I smiled, "now that would make sense."
"I wish I'd be jamming to MCR when I die," Phil chuckled, "hopefully I won't die soon, though."
"Yeah, that would really suck," I said halfheartedly as I yawned and stretched out my limbs.
"Okay, bonus round. The next song I'm going to play in random describes my future wife," Phil said merrily said as he played the next random song.
Future wife. I guess he is straight.
"Aww, this is nice," Phil suddenly said.
"What is it?"
"It's Holding My Thoughts In My Heart," Phil smiled brightly.
"Aww," I awed with him as I shifted myself from my seat, "so I'm guessing your future wife likes Final Fantasy then?"
"I'd like to think so," Phil shrugged, "I love this song. It's very calm and soothing…"
Phil let the soundtrack play for a while as he slowly swayed from left to right, listening to the soothing tune with a soft smile plastered onto his face. I smiled at him and I tapped my fingers to the tune of the music. It was like the whole world stopped for a moment as we both listened to the soft melody of the Final Fantasy VII soundtrack.
Phil eyes suddenly lit up once he saw the piano in the corner of the room. "You have a piano?!"
I looked at the piano and nodded at him. "Oh yeah, I didn't realize they moved it there."
"Can you play?"
"I- err, well yeah, kind of," I stuttered and Phil's face lit up even more, "I used to take piano lessons and I was pretty shit at it."
"Well, can you at least play a few songs on it?" Phil asked me with a small glint in his eyes.
"Yeah, I guess I can," I said as I stood up, tucked my phone in my pocket, approached the piano and sat in front of it, "I can play classical music like Moonlight Sonata and Fur Elise."
I prepared myself and pressed the keys on the (kind of broken) piano, playing a bit of the beginning of Moonlight Sonata and then following Fur Elise.
"What else can you play?" Phil asked from the sofa. I turned to him and shrugged.
"I can play the Pyramid Song by Radiohead," I said to him as I turned back to the piano and demonstrated it. "And a bit of Intermission by Panic! At The Disco," I also said, playing it after the Pyramid Song, my eyes glued to the piano's keys as I bit my lip in concentration.
After I embarrassingly pressed the wrong key during Intermission, I heard Phil's soft giggling behind me. I turned to him, shrugged and awkwardly chuckled with him, "Yeah, I'm still learning."
"That's okay," Phil said as his giggle died out, "what songs are you still learning how to play?"
"Hmm, let's see… I'm still learning how to play the beginning of Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance, Sunburn by Muse, The Landing from- oh!" I interrupted myself as I quickly turned back to the piano. I glanced back at Phil, who was looking a bit confused, and smirked at him.
"If you knew what my ring tone was and loved Holding My Thoughts In My Heart then you'll definitely know what this song is…" I said as I softly pressed the keys and played a soft melody, waiting for Phil's guess on what the song's name was.
I suddenly heard a small gasp behind me. "Interrupted by Fireworks?"
I smiled to myself and nodded, my eyes still glued to my finger's movements.
"Wow, I've always wanted to play that song in piano but I never really had the chance to, and no one would actually teach me how," Phil said, chuckling at the end of his sentence.
I stopped myself and turned around to face Phil who was slouched on the sofa. "Come sit here then," I scooted over and patted the big empty space next to me, "I'll teach you."
Phil raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he said as he hoisted himself up from the sofa.
"Yeah," I smiled and nodded, "I know how to play the whole song. Now c'mon, we can play it together or something."
Phil broke a huge grin on his face as he shyly walked over to me and sat on the empty space, his shoulder pressed up against mine since the rectangular stool was only meant for one person but I couldn't bother getting up and taking a chair from the dinning room. "Okay, so what do we do first?" Phil asked with a grin still attached to his face.
"Okay, well you press these four keys right here, like this," I demonstrated by softly pressing the keys over and over again in the same pattern as the song.
I looked at Phil and he nodded at me as I moved away from the keys so Phil could take over. "Okay, I think I got it," Phil said as he pressed the four keys in the same pattern over and over again.
"Alright, that's good," I smiled at him, "now after that, you play these keys," Phil moved his hand away from the piano as I showed him the next part of the song. I pressed another four keys over and over again in a pattern, "got it?"
I took away my hand from the keys and Phil placed his as he mimicked the melody earlier, "like this?"
"Yeah just like that," I nodded at him, "now while we're playing the song, I'll say 'switch' and you'll switch to that melody, okay?"
Phil smiled then nodded. "Okay,"
"Alright, now after that, you play these keys," Phil moved his hand away, slightly brushing against mine, as I reached over and played a few more keys on the piano, repeating it so Phil could remember. "It's a bit more difficult but you can get it," I said as I drew my hand back so Phil could play the piano.
"Like this?" Phil asked as he pressed the keys repeatedly.
I smiled brightly at him. "Just like that. Wow, you're a fast learner."
Phil giggled, his tongue sticking out a bit. "Thanks,"
"Okay, now show me what you've learned so far," I said as I backed up a bit and let Phil play.
He pressed the keys and played the all three melodies perfectly. He is a fast learner, "Wow, that's perfect, Phil. Well done, I'm proud of you."
Phil shyly smiled at me as he drew his hands away from the keys. "So can we play?"
"Yeah okay," I agreed as I rearranged myself from my seat and lifted my right hand on the higher keys while Phil had both of his hands on the lower keys, "when I say go, you play the first part, and when I say switch, you switch into the next part of the song, and then so on. Got it?"
Phil nodded and took a deep breath to prepare himself. I began pressing the keys to the opening of the song. "Go," I softly said, hoping that Phil could actually hear that.
Thankfully, he heard the 'go' and started to play the first part of the song. He softly pressed the four keys and repeated them as I pressed the higher keys. I smiled as I listened to the beautiful melody we made together. We continued on playing the song, me whispering him to switch to the next part of the song a couple of times. Phil suddenly pressed the wrong key and ended up ruining the entire tune but continued to play as if it never happened. I tried to stifle back my laugh as Phil pressed the wrong keys again, but we both ended up giggling at our mistakes. It was a nice moment; I haven't smiled this much in a long time.
After we both thought we had enough, we pulled our hands away from the piano and I turned to him with a huge smile, "That was really good. Good job, Phil."
"Thanks," Phil chuckled as he shifted himself from his uncomfortable seat, "you were great too by the way."
"Thank you Phil," I smiled, "We should practice that more, though. You should visit more often so I could give you piano lessons," I told him, "what do you say?"
Phil looked at me with both his eyebrows raised in surprised then slowly smiled. "I'd like that."
I smiled back at him then lifted my left hand to play a few random keys on the piano to fill in the awkward silence.
"So…is that the only song you know how to play from beginning to end?" Phil asked.
"Hmm…" I thought about it as I absent mindedly pressed a few more keys on the piano, "oh, well there's this song that I recently learned how to play from beginning to end."
"What is it?"
"I don't know if you've heard of it but its called Nature Boy," I said as I prepared myself to play the song, "it's by Nat King Cole and it's one of my favorite songs of all time."
I cleared my throat as I turned to Phil, who was waiting for me to play. "Umm, excuse my singing voice by the way…" I nervously chuckled as I began pressing the keys to the song.
"There was a boy
A very strange, enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far
Very far, over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he,"
I took a glimpse of Phil in the corner of my eye as I continued to press the keys and sing.
"And then one day,
One magic day he passed my way
While we spoke of many things
Fools and Kings
This he said to me:"
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return".
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return".
I cleared my throat as I pressed the rest of the keys on the piano. I stared at my fingers and bit my lip in concentration as I pressed a few more keys.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return".
I finally finished off as I pressed the remaining keys and sighed in relief. I turned to Phil and caught him staring at me with a sort of sad smile affixed to his face. "That was beautiful, Dan."
"Thank you," I giggled as I broke eye contact with Phil, my face burning a bit. Then my phone suddenly pinged in my pocket.
"What was that song called again?" Phil asked me as I pulled out my phone.
"It's Nature Boy by Nat King Cole. It's also covered by several famous artists so it's okay if you listen to other versions of it; it's still the same song." I said as I opened my phone and saw a text that I received from Jill.
"You still going to the party, Danny-bear? xx"
I softly sighed at the text and texted back:
"Yup xxx"
"Umm… I probably should go now," Phil suddenly said, "it's getting pretty late."
I tucked my phone back in my pocket then turned to Phil, who stood up from the seat and shuffled his feet towards his jacket on the sofa. I looked out of the window and then back at Phil, it was still storming like crazy outside.
I stood up and approached Phil. "You sure you're going to be okay? It's pouring really hard outside…"
"I'll run fast then," Phil shrugged as he slipped in his jacket.
"I could lend you an umbrella but judging by the strong winds outside, I don't think it'll do anything," I said, "and you have your books with you, along with the things you bought earlier, they'll be soaked if you just charged to your house in this weather condition."
"What do you suggest I do then?" Phil sadly asked as he grabbed the strap or his bag and swung it over his shoulder.
I looked down and shuffled my feet awkwardly from left to right; I could already feel my cheeks heating up as I prepared my suggestion. "You could just… you know, spend the night here if you want," I shrugged and bit my lip, "I mean, if you want. It's okay if you want to go home. I just don't want you to catch a cold or anything and have your entire stuff wet. Plus, it is kind of late, so you might as well… you know?"
I looked back up at Phil and waited for his response. He was staring out the window with an eyebrow perked up. He turned back to me with a soft expression, "Really?"
"I-I mean- if you want to…"
"Yeah, but I don't want to be a burden to you or anything."
"You're not, don't worry!" I reassured, "it'll be nice to have a bit of company in the house. It is quite lonely since I'm the only one in here."
He turned back to the window and thought about it again.
"So… what you say?" I nervously asked.
Phil took a deep breath then sighed. He set his bag back on the sofa then smiled at me. "I'm not in the mood to get wet today. So bear with me for tonight, okay?"
I smiled widely at his response as I let out a breath that I didn't realize I held. "Then welcome to Casa De Howell! Make yourself at home," I cheerfully exclaimed, earning a giggle from Phil, "so what do you want to do? You want to change out of your uniform or-"
I was interrupted abruptly by Phil's stomach, loudly growling. I chuckled at Phil as he blushed, shrugging his jacket off.
"Or do you want something to eat first?" I said in between my chuckles.
"Eat please." Phil said, shortly joining in the laughter.
My phone pinged in my pocket again when I opened and scanned the fridge for food, spotting a few microwavable food and several green vegetables. I internally cursed my mum for wanting us to eat healthy.
I brought out my phone, seeing that it was almost 9:00 pm, and unlocked it to see another text message from Jill:
"Good! We'll pick you up from your house at around 8pm okay? ;) xxx"
I stared at my phone blankly for a second.
It looks like Phil's going to the party in his own way. I'm pretty sure he can do that.
"Okay :) xx"
"Mum? It's me," I heard Phil say down his phone as he leaned on the kitchen isle, "yeah, I'm fine…"
I slid my phone back in my pocket and continued to browse inside the fridge, shoving away the cabbages and kale, with open ears to listen to Phil's conversation with his mum.
"Sorry, I'm at Dan's house… yeah, I'm kind of stranded in here. We both decided that I should spend the night here because of the weather, is that okay?" Phil explained, "Yeah, we'll be fine…well, we're in the kitchen, looking for something to eat…his parents aren't home…I know…okay… yeah okay, I will. Bye."
I turned around to see Phil, sitting up on the kitchen isle as he hung up the phone. "My mum says hi, by the way."
"Oh, say hi back to your mum for me then." I giggled.
"Found anything edible?" Phil asked as he swung his legs, casually looking adorable.
"Well…" I turned back to the fridge and re-scanned everything, "we have… these things," I moved away from the fridge and gestured Phil to look inside.
Phil stayed sat on the counter and squinted his eyes to examine the fridge. "Hmm… you have loads of eggs, we should make pancakes!" Phil happily exclaimed, not sure if he was joking or not.
I turned to him with both my eyebrows furrowed as I chocked on my laugh, "Seriously? For dinner?"
"I don't see why not," Phil said, smiling as he hopped off the counter, "breakfast for dinner is the best thing ever!"
"You seriously want us to make pancakes for dinner?" I repeated, my smile growing wider.
"Uh, yeah!" Phil said, as if it was the most obvious thing, "I mean, c'mon Dan, who wouldn't want to have pancakes for dinner?"
I stared back down at the carton of eggs and grinning as I considered the idea. "You know what? Fuck it; we're making pancakes for dinner." I said as I brought out the carton of eggs and turned to Phil, who squealed "Yay!" once I handed him the carton.
We continued to search through the shelves and brought out the main ingredients as well as the needed utensils. At some point while we were pouring and mixing all of the ingredients in a bowl, Phil brings out his phone out and plays a song to fill in the quiet atmosphere. He started playing Starlight by Muse and I grinned at his choice of music.
"Nice choice," I complimented as I poured in the liquids in the bowl.
"Thanks," he laughed out as he placed the pan on the stove and pre-heated it.
As I thoroughly mixed all of the ingredients in the bowl, Phil decided to put away all the other ingredients that weren't needed anymore. While he carried the bag of flour, he suddenly tripped on his other foot (what a klutz), accidentally pouring flour onto the floor and onto himself. And I couldn't help but laugh at him as he tried to brush the flour off of himself.
A sudden white puff of powder was splashed onto my face in the middle of my laughing session. I coughed and spit out the powder off my mouth and saw Phil dying of laughter in front of me, covering his mouth with his hand, which was white from the flour, to contain his laughter.
Oh, it's on…
I smirked and approached him, grabbing a handful of flour from the bag that he held and threw it all on Phil, most of it landing on his face and hair (especially his hair). He squealed and recoiled back as I grabbed a handful of more and threw it at him again, biting my lower lip to hold back my evil smirk, which was growing by the second.
As I prepared another handful of flour, I was suddenly greeted by yet another white puff of powder. I backed off a bit and spit out the flour from the side, laughing afterwards as I snatched the bag of flour from his hand to get my revenge. I cupped as much of flour as I can get in one hand and threw it all over Phil without mercy, forcefully sprinkling his face, his hair and his uniform with the white powder.
"Dan, stop it! We're going to ruin your kitchen!" Phil laughed and squealed as he backed away from me, his lower back hitting the counter and his right arm in front of him as a defense.
I laughed at him and threw one last sprinkle of flour as I approached the shelf next to him and returned the bag of flour, which was now half empty, to its original place.
"Look what you've done to me!" Phil said, laughing as he brushed off all of the flour off his trousers, his face and his hair (which has now, turned white from the flour). And I didn't do anything but laugh even harder at him.
"Wha- hey, hey, you started it!" I laughed as I looked down at myself and also brushed off the powder from my uniform and hair. I turned around and returned to the mixing bowl, picking it up afterwards and bringing it to the counter next to the stove with the pre-heated pan.
"Now c'mon, let's make pancakes, I'm starving." I said, smiling back at our flour war that just happened a few seconds ago.
"Aww, this is really cute," I said as I reached out and took the Alphonse Elric plush and squished it a bit.
After devouring all the pancakes we made (and cleaning up the kitchen), we returned back into the lounge, watched a few tv programs, helped each other on home works and played more video games, we decided to go through the stuff we just bought from the shopping centre earlier.
"I know right? But the Tonberry plushie was the cutest thing ever in that shop," Phil said as he neatly folded his blue plaid shirt and stuffed it into his bag, "too bad it was too expensive though…"
I sighed sadly as I gave Phil back his plushie. "Yeah, but the good thing is you won me this creature," I brought the Where The Wild Things Are plushie from my bag and cuddled with it for a second, "which is the second best thing. Thank you again."
"You're welcome; I am the world championship of winning stuffed toys from claw machines," Phil playfully said as he crossed his arms and winked at me, "and sometimes I do charity work, like that."
I shook my head in amusement. "Yeah, whatever," I stared at the stuffed toy and smiled at it, "you know, you would be like, the best boyfriend ever if you could always win at claw machines."
"W-What?" Phil asked, his face a bit pink.
"I mean, like you know how you go on dates and then sometime in the middle of the date, when you see a claw machine, you would not hesitate to miss the opportunity to win a stuffed toy for your girlfriend?" I explained, "Well, if you always win at claw machines, then you would be like the best boyfriend ever."
"Oh," Phil breathed out, finally understanding me. "I guess I would," Phil chuckled, his tongue sticking out a bit.
"Umm… speaking of dates and boyfriend and girlfriends," I said as I shifted myself from the sofa so I could face Phil, lounging back a bit, "have you had one?"
"What, a girlfriend?" Phil double checked, and I nodded. "I have, actually. Two years ago, back at my hometown when I was fifteen."
I leaned in a bit closer and listened attentively. "Her name was Anna, we've been good friends since we were really young and then when she turned fifteen, she told me that she had always fancied me and wanted to go out on a date and then things went on from there," Phil told me, "but we broke up a few months later, we're still friends though."
"I see…" I said, nodding along at his story, "is she the only girlfriend you had or..?"
Phil looked up at the ceiling and thought about it before turning back to me and nodded, followed by a shrug. "Yeah, that's pretty much it."
My jaw dropped slightly. "Seriously?"
"Yup," Phil simply said, sighing afterwards.
"I can't believe you've only had one girlfriend, and she was your childhood friend. I mean, seriously. Look at you, you're-" I quickly stopped myself from continuing the sentence. I gulped as I felt my face burn.
That he's what, Dan?
"Thanks Dan," Phil smiled, looking down at the floor with his cheeks flushed red. He probably knew what I was going to say and saved the awkward moment, "but no, it's fine."
He turned and looked outside the window. It was still storming, and it didn't seem to be dying out. If anything, it seemed like it was getting a bit stronger. I stared at Phil as he glued his gaze outside the window, nervously twiddling his thumbs.
I gave out a soft sigh and scooted closer to Phil, nudging his shoulder with mine to get his attention. "Hey, you know what? When we get to the party tomorrow, let's go try and find you a nice girl, yeah?"
Phil chuckled, turning his attention back to me. "We don't have to, but thanks anyway."
I gave him a small smile as I reached over to the coffee table, took my cup of hot chocolate, which Phil offered to make earlier for both of us since he said he makes the best hot chocolate, (not going to lie, it was really good) and drank the rest of it while we watched a random tv program.
"Oh crap!" Phil suddenly blurted, making me jump a bit as I sipped my drink.
"What's wrong?"
He turned to me with a sad expression. "I forgot to buy some colored pencils for art class tomorrow. I guess I'll have to borrow from PJ again…"
Phil slumped sadly in his seat and sighed deeply. "Hang on, I think I still have some colored pencils, I'll let you borrow mine." I said, standing up from the sofa and running out of the room before Phil could stop me (if he was even going to).
I quickly went up the stairs and into my brother's bedroom and took my box of colored pencils from the drawer from when he borrowed them. With the box in hand, I headed back down to the lounge and handed them to Phil.
"Here," I said as I sat back down.
Phil took the box from me and then smiled. "Thanks Dan. You don't really have to, you know? You might need them, I could always buy my own or just borrow PJ's extra box for awhile-"
"No," I said, more sternly than I intended. I didn't understand why I felt so strongly about Phil borrowing something from PJ; it wasn't like I was jealous again or anything. Was I? "I-I mean, c'mon Phil. I insist, I don't really use them that much anyway."
Phil stared down at the box and pursed his lips. "Okay. Thanks Dan." he smiled as he stuffed the box in his bag. He then covered his mouth, yawned loudly then rubbed his eyes. Poor thing must be tired.
"Sleepy?" I asked.
"Kind of, yeah," Phil said as he sniffed and squeezed his eyes together, "what time is it?"
I took my phone out and checked the time. "Half past twelve."
Phil yawned again, louder this time. "Wow. Yeah, can I sleep now? I'm kind of tired. And we still have school tomorrow."
"Sure. Do you want to change into something more comfortable first?" I asked, mainly pointing out the fact that we were still wearing our school uniforms, with our ties whipped away and a few buttons undone.
"Can I?"
"Yeah of course," I said as I turned the tv off, standing up, grabbing both of our bags as well as the mugs on the other hand and gestured him out the room, closing the lights afterwards, "c'mon, let's go upstairs."
He followed me out the room and gone ahead and went up the stairs as I quickly ran into the kitchen first to put the mugs in the dishwasher. After I did that, I caught up with him, still carrying both of our bags, and opened the door to my dark room.
I flicked the lights on and revealed my surprisingly clean room, with a bed in the corner, a laptop and a keyboard piano on top of a desk, a small wardrobe and a poster covered wall. I looked over to Phil and his eyes just widened in surprised as he stared at all of my band posters and all the stuffed animals I had in the corner.
"I love your room," he commented as he stepped inside and carefully sat on the bed, still gazing up at my posters.
"Thanks. It's not usually this clean by the way," I admitted, throwing our bag in the corner of the room with my stuff animals and approached the wardrobe, "alright, so what do you want to wear?"
Phil stood up from the bed and then walked over to me. "Do you own anything that's not black or white?" he said, giggling as he searched through the drawers.
I playfully rolled my eyes at him and helped him look for something to wear. "Here, you can wear this," I pulled out a gray jumper with a bear on it, "and this," and then also pulled out some dark red trackies, handing them both to Phil.
He took them with a smile. "You could just get changed here, I'll go downstairs and make sure all the doors and windows are locked, and all the lights are off." I said as I walked out the door and left it slightly ajar, "I'll be right back."
I quickly made my way down the stairs and closed all the lights in every room, and also made sure that all the doors and windows were closed. As I went to the supply closet and brought out extra pillows and blankets for Phil, I suddenly realized, where would Phil sleep? On the sofa? On my little brother's bed? Next to me? I blushed at the thought; I didn't think this through, I figured I'd just ask him.
After I gathered Phil's pillows and blankets, I went back upstairs and into the room, only stopping from opening the door when I saw through the door's crack that Phil still wasn't fully dressed yet. His back was turned and he was struggling to get the dark red trackies on, his red check boxers showing and his bare back exposed, as well as his skinny pale legs.
When Phil successfully wore the trackies and reached for the gray jumper on the desk, I swallowed a lump in my throat. His body looked so flawless and smooth, it was slim and beautiful. And there was that strange uneasy feeling in my stomach again as I watched him slip on the jumper, he looked nice in my clothes.
I quickly whipped my head away once I realized that I was just stood there, outside the door, watching my friend, my guy friend, who was getting dress through the door's crack. I blushed furiously as I thought back to it and went into the bathroom, still carrying Phil's pillows and blankets.
I opened the lights and stared at myself in the mirror, my face was still red. I tried my best to shake off the feeling as I walked out of the bathroom and stood outside my bedroom door, staring at the door's crack to make sure that Phil was now, fully dressed.
It seemed like he was since he was pacing awkwardly around the room. I took a deep breath in and swung the door open. "Hey, I got your pillows and blankets ready."
Phil looked at me and smiled. "Oh thanks,"
I stared at the floor and nervously prepared the question, "So… where do you want to sleep?"
"O-Oh…" I heard Phil stutter, "umm… well, where can I sleep?"
I looked back up and saw Phil's cheeks a bit red. "Well, there's the sofa. But it's quite small and narrow, it's not wide enough so I don't know if you would be comfortable sleeping there," I explained, "and there's also my brother's bed, but it's also really small."
"So… the floor?" Phil nervously joked, chuckling afterwards.
"No, you turnip. I'm not letting you sleep on the floor," I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him, "it's either those two, the small sofa or the extremely small bed."
Phil stared at the pillows and blanket as I handed them to him, gnawing on his lower lip as he thought. "Hmm…"
"I-I mean, it's either those or you could sleep on my bed and I'll sleep somewhere else…" I offered, "I can sleep on my parents' bed or something, and you can sleep here. Or you could sleep on my parents' bed and I stay here, just don't break or touch anything there. Almost everything there is fragile."
"You don't have to do that, Dan. It's your bed and I don't think me sleeping in a room full of fragile things is a good thing," Phil said, "I kind of sleepwalk sometimes and I might like, grab a vase and throw it out of the window in my sleepwalk or something."
I chuckled at bit at his reason. "If that's the case then maybe you should sleep here. Umm… next to me or something so I could keep an eye on you," I felt my face go bright red all of the sudden, "I mean if you don't mind, I understand if it's a bit awkward but I'm just saying that I need to keep an eye on you incase you break anything in your sleepwalk. My bed's big enough to fit both of us anyway…"
Phil was completely flustered in red as he played around with the blankets in his hands. "Well… are you sure you're okay with it?"
"Of course I am. I wouldn't offer it if I wasn't, would I?" I cleared up, "so… you sleeping here then?"
Phil glanced at the bed for a second and chewed the inside of his cheeks, thinking of considering it or not. Then he sighed softly and smiled at me. "I hope you don't spazz out in your sleep then."
I looked up at him and grinned. "Hey- you're the one who sleepwalks. I just hope you don't murder me in my sleep."
Phil laughed lightly as he shook his head in amusement, going over to the bed and laying his pillows and blankets in the corner. "I'm gonna go ahead and use your bathroom, if that's okay?"
"Yeah, go ahead," I gestured him out and he left the room, closing the door behind him.
The second he closed the door, I immediately went over to the wardrobe and brought out some decent clothes to sleep in. I quickly stripped down to my boxers, glancing at the door every now and then, worried that Phil might walk in while I was in the middle of getting change just like I almost did to him earlier. I didn't even know why the fact that Phil might walk in on me dressing worried me so much, I had nothing to hide. Maybe it was just because I was a bit self conscious about my own body.
Yeah, a bit.
I wore a loose, thin-layered white shirt and some black trackies. Usually, I just sleep in my boxers, but since Phil's in bed with me, I wasn't going to make it as awkward as it would already be.
After I got changed, I went over to my desk, sat on my chair and opened my laptop. I figured that I'd let Phil sleep in first and once he's already fallen asleep, I would just slip in quietly, in hopes to not wake him up and save the awkward moment of slipping in to bed together and just lay down there in silence until we both fall asleep.
The sky thundered again for probably the hundredth time and I just sighed deeply as I opened a web browser.
This is going to be a long night…
Dan was wrong.
The bed wasn't big enough to fit both of them. It did, but barely since Phil squished himself in a corner to give Dan more room to toss and turn in his space.
After about an hour of internet browsing and after Dan has made sure that Phil was now fully asleep, he carefully slipped into the sheets, creating as much space between him and Phil and then fell into a deep sleep. Phil, on the other hand, was wide awake.
He couldn't sleep, no matter how hard he tried. He had his eyes closed for almost two hours now, forcing himself to pass out, but nothing.
He didn't know why he couldn't sleep, he was so sleepy earlier. Was it because there was a thunderstorm outside? Because, as embarrassing as it was, Phil was afraid of thunderstorms, or just thunder and lightning in general. Or was it because Dan was sleeping right next to him?
Phil was going to admit, he was extremely relieved that Dan resorted into saying that they should sleep in the same room and in the same bed. Because if Phil was left alone in a room, inside a house that he wasn't familiar with, with the thunderstorm outside and the lights out, he would be shaking in fear and wouldn't have slept at all through the night. But that wasn't different to what it was now.
He was in a room, in a house that he wasn't familiar with, with the thunderstorm outside and the lights out, shaking in fear and couldn't fall asleep. The only difference was that he was with someone else in the room and sleeping in the same bed with them, and that should be enough to make feel safe and fall asleep. But he was still shaking in fear. Why was he shaking in fear? What was keeping him awake?
Phil huffed into a pillow in frustration. Why couldn't he just fall asleep?
He opened his eyes and flipped himself around carefully to face Dan, whose back was turned to him. Phil didn't know what time it was, probably around two or three in the morning. And as creepy as it seemed, Phil couldn't help but smile at the sight of Dan, who was peacefully sleeping unlike him.
Phil propped himself up by his elbow, he probably had a thing for Dan sleeping because for some reason, Phil just found it mesmerizing to watch him sleep. He couldn't take his eyes off of him; he was so adorable, just by looking at him from behind.
He hesitantly lifted his hand and reached out to carefully stroke Dan's chestnut hair. It was as soft as it looked and it brought a huge smile to Phil's face.
Dan suddenly stirred, causing Phil to quickly draw his hand back. He then laid his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes, pretending that he has been sleeping the whole time.
He felt the bed shift and after a few minutes of silence, he heard Dan breathing in and out again. He slowly opened his eyes again to see that he was now, face to face with Dan.
"He looks just like you." Phil said as he studied Alex in the picture.
"You think so?" he heard Dan say.
Phil looked at him and gave him a kind of lopsided smile.
"Mh-hm," Phil simply hummed in agreement as he stared into Dan's eyes, not realizing before that they had the nicest and the softest shade of brown, they were beautiful.
Phil's eyes trailed down to Dan's lips. They were so pink and plump, almost kissable. But Phil quickly shook off the thought and brought his eyes around Dan's face and continued to study his features.
And Dan had never looked more beautiful at that moment.
The street lights outside the house shone through the window, causing the raindrops on the glass to cast a shadow on Dan's face, somehow making him more beautiful and peaceful than he already was. And Phil just kind of laid there and watched Dan breath in and out.
He felt his heart thump loudly against his chest as he slowly reached out his hand again and carefully brushed the hair away to reveal Dan's gorgeously tanned face.
Phil then moved a bit closer to Dan to get a better look of his face and brushed more of his brown hair away from his eyes (that were, unfortunately, closed). But as Phil softly stroked Dan's hair, he noticed something; his hand was shaking, a bit more violently than before, as he caressed his friend's hair.
Why were they shaking? Was Phil cold? Or was he shaking in fear again like earlier? Why in fear? What was he so afraid of?
And at the exact moment Phil asked himself that, Dan had subconsciously and unexpectedly threw his arms around Phil's torso and moved himself closer to the boy, nuzzling his face into Phil's chest, still fast asleep, making Phil's heart thump faster than it ever did.
Oh.
That was what he was afraid of.
It wasn't that he was afraid of Dan or anything. He liked Dan, and it was okay to like Dan; it was okay to be friends with him… and to have a small crush on him. And that was supposed to be it; nothing else should cross that line.
But it was too late.
Phil has fallen in love with Dan Howell.
And he was afraid to fall in love.
He knew it was going to happen, though. He tried his best to repress his feelings and tried to just look at Dan in a 'friend' way, but no.
After hanging out with him, after spending an absolutely amazing day with him, Phil knew that his feelings for Dan just grew stronger and he couldn't help it.
But he should just forget about it.
Because Dan doesn't feel the same way.
Phil opened the bathroom door and exited the room, closing the door behind him. He walked into the dark hallway and then down the stairs. He didn't realized how late it was, time flies when you're having fun.
It was still pouring outside which worried Phil a lot, he couldn't go home in this weather condition. But he was just going to bear with it; he'll just have to run in the rain in hopes that he wouldn't catch a cold the next day. What about his things? His books, his notepads? They would be completely soaked.
Phil's thoughts were interrupted abruptly when he didn't realize there was an extra step at the bottom of the staircase and he tripped and fell. He yelped when he face planted onto the carpet (luckily the floor was carpeted).
"Phil? You alright?" he heard Dan shout from the lounge.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Phil yelled back as he slowly stood up and slightly limped back into the lounge until he heard:
"NO!" he heard Dan suddenly shouted. Phil stopped by the door and eavesdropped into the conversation, "N-No, he's just- it's just a friend, mum. I just thought we could hang out for a bit. I think he'll leave in a few minutes, it's getting pretty late."
Phil let out a sad sigh. He didn't understand why he was suddenly sad; he didn't know what he was expecting to hear. Phil was actually Dan's friend, and that was all he would ever be.
He was just a friend.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return,"
After Dan finally finished off the song, Phil didn't do anything but stare at him. He had a surprisingly beautiful singing voice, and he looked absolutely gorgeous playing the piano too. Phil was completely captivated by Dan.
But the last song verse wouldn't leave Phil's head.
And Phil didn't know why, but it bothered him. A lot.
Dan suddenly turned to Phil and all Phil could do was give him a sad smile, which was the only thing he was able to pull at the moment, "That was beautiful, Dan."
"Thank you," Dan giggled. His phone suddenly rang so he pulled it out from his pocket and opened it.
"What was that song called again?" Phil asked as he gnawed on his lip.
"It's Nature Boy by Nat King Cole. It's also covered by several famous artists so it's okay if you listen to other versions of it; it's still the same song."
Phil was definitely going to look that up and listen to it. It had a sort of vibe in it the Phil didn't really understand but it left a bit of something in him.
Phil's eyes suddenly dropped to Dan's phone and he accidentally read his message,
"You still going to the party, Danny-bear? xx"
"Yup xxx" he saw Dan typed out then sent.
And for some reason, again, Phil felt a heavy weight in his heart just by seeing those text messages. Yes, it was wrong invading Dan's privacy by looking at his text messages, Phil regretted it. If he hadn't looked he wouldn't have felt so down all of the sudden. But why was he down?
Was it because of Jill? Did Phil not like Jill? Or he just didn't like the idea of Dan dating Jill?
Or maybe it was the idea of Dan dating? Dating a girl, to be specific.
Phil didn't like the idea of Dan, dating a girl maybe because it showed him that Dan was straight, and was in a relationship with someone pretty and popular. It showed him that he could never have Dan even if he tried.
Because Dan was just his friend.
Phil flinched when the sky thundered again, and Dan just nuzzled more into Phil's chest which made Phil's heart thump more loudly in his chest. He just hoped Dan wouldn't wake up because of Phil's beating heart underneath his cheek, he didn't want him to wake up; he wanted to savor the moment as much as he could. He may never experience anything like this again. Hell, of course this would never happen again. It wasn't like Dan was conscious enough to enjoy their cuddling session and ask for it again, that was just absurd.
Phil then felt Dan take a deep breath through the nose, deeply inhaling Phil's scent, then sighed softly though his nose as he tightened his grip around Phil.
"Maybe… Dan does like me," Phil suddenly thought, "maybe he was just too afraid to admit it, or maybe he just doesn't realize he likes me yet. He blushes whenever we make eye contact or whenever we make the slightest skin contact. He did say he didn't really liked Jill, didn't he..? So maybe, just maybe, I still have a chance…"
Phil stared down at the peacefully sleeping boy then quietly scoffed to himself.
"Yeah right, what the hell was I thinking? Of course he doesn't like me, I mean look at me…" Phil sadly thought, "And of course he likes Jill, he said he didn't want to leave her because he thought he actually loves her deep down and he just doesn't see it yet."
"But he did say that he wasn't exactly sure that he loves Jill. So maybe he doesn't really love her, you still have a chance" a little voice inside Phil's head said.
But then Phil shook his head. "No, Phil. Don't get your hopes up. He doesn't like you like that, he's not gay. Stop it."
Phil took a deep breath and recollected himself. "He doesn't like you, Phil. But that's okay, isn't it?"
He hesitantly lifted his arm and wrapped it around Dan's torso carefully, giving into Dan's unconscious cuddling session.
"I like him, but who says I can't be friends with him? Dan is amazing, and it would suck so much if I lose him just because I like him and he doesn't like me back. I could just keep my feelings to myself, that's fine. It'll go away eventually, wouldn't it?" Phil thought to himself, "I want to be friends with him, he needs someone."
"He seems so lonely, especially when he said no one ever took him to the Manchester Eye. I barely see him with anyone else other than Jill's group; it was like he never actually had real friends that were there for him at all times. And that was my duty now.
"I'll make sure I'll be there for him; I'm not going to let my feelings get in the way. I wasn't going to let my feelings ruin my friendship like it did last time. And I'm not going to let my feelings get the best of me and ruin what we already have.
"No matter how much it would hurt seeing him with someone else, that's fine. I'll always be there to catch him when he falls. I'll be there when he feels down.
"I'll be there as his friend. And that's okay.
"That's okay…"
Phil sighed, for like the billionth time, then nuzzled his face into Dan's hair, inhaling his scent. "He smells warm", was the first thing Phil thought.
He wasn't shaking anymore, now that he has settled his own feelings. He was okay now. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore.
Phil closed his eyes and tried his best to fall asleep with Dan beside him, both of their arms wrapped around each other. Even though he really shouldn't cuddle with Dan, he was just enjoying the moment as long as he could. Just holding Dan like that at least once was enough.
Phil ended up humming the song that was stuck in his head ever since Dan played it on the piano. He ended up softly humming the song Nature Boy by Nat King Cole as he forced himself to drift off into a deep and peaceful sleep.
And for some weird reason, he remembered all of the song's lyrics. He decided to sing it in a soft and quiet voice, in hopes that it would actually help him fall asleep this time since the song has been bugging him all night.
"There was a boy
A very strange, enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far
Very far, over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he,"
Phil began to subconsciously stroke Dan's hair, careful not to wake him.
"And then one day,
One magic day he passed my way
While we spoke of many things
Fools and Kings
This he said to me:"
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return".
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return".
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn…"
"Is just to love…"
A silent tear all of the sudden escaped Phil's closed eyes then rolled down across his face, wetting the pillow as he let out a shaky breath.
"…and be loved in return".
A/N: Sorry I had to end it in such a sad moment. I'll try my best to write the next chapter faster, it wouldn't be as long as this (I think) but drama's about to happen, so stick around for that :P and oh yeah, I've hidden loads of Phan references in here so see if you could spot all of them! :D I'll reveal all references (including the last chapter's) in the next author's note :P
btw (shameless plug) I have a new tumblr blog called thescienceofphan :D where I post and reblog a fuck load of Dan, Phil and some other youtubers (occationally bands as well like FOB PATD MCR etc) I also post phanvideos and phanart and at some point, maybe release my phanfics there too so be sure to check it out! ^_^ Feel free to say hi as well :D that would be lovely x3
