Trigger Warning: Bullying/Severe Homophobia


When Armin returned to the 4th floor of Sansburg Hall in mid-January, the dorm was once again a ghost town, with none of his floor mates in sight. Armin shrugged indifferently, knowing that several of them would take a few more days to return from whatever vacations they were on.

His grandpa had acted a bit odd when he had been dropped off. Something about the way he talked, his general air and posture gave off the impression that John Arlert was stressing over something.

"Let me know if you need anything, ok?" his grandpa had said to him, as Armin was about to head to his room.

"Of course, grandpa. Are you feeling ok? You seem…agitated about something."

"Oh, I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind. Have a great 2nd semester!"

"See you."

When evening came, Armin strolled out of his room towards the stairs, calm and hoping for a smooth first week. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Kayla standing near the elevators, with an unmistakable glare in her eyes. Armin turned to her and smiled again, expecting her to return the favor.

Instead, he was met with her classic sneer, and she flounced away towards her room, leaving Armin standing by himself and confused.

"Did something bad happen to her over break? She's acting just like she did last semester…I thought that I made her change…so why…"

He sighed and walked away towards the dining hall, wondering why the girl had chosen to revert to her old malicious self.

His question was answered in a way that Armin wasn't prepared for, during a lazy afternoon later that week, when he stood in front of the mirror in one of the floor's single bathroom stalls, checking to make sure that he had no dirt on his face. Armin was about to head out of the bathroom, when two voices suddenly began hissing right next to the door, making him jump and freeze up in terror.

"This freak spends too much time for a guy in here. What the fuck does he do, stare at himself in the mirror the whole time?"

"Probably. He's always acting so smug and full of himself, smirking at me every time he sees me. Arrogant little shit. Who gave him the right to hog the restroom?"

Armin shuddered involuntarily, recognizing the voices of Kayla and her best friend Clair.

"What the…how do they know that I'm in here?!"

The two girls stayed outside the door, sniggering and continuing their ploy.

"You know what we should do? We should let the rest of this floor know that this freak's being full of himself and not letting others use the room. That'll teach him a lesson."

"Omg, yes! We need to put him in his place before he gets any funny ideas. No guy should be in the restroom as much as he is. It's wrong, and it's gross. Ugh, gay guys are so nasty."

They finally walked away, and Armin hesitated to leave the restroom. When he walked to the stairs, he saw the two girls sitting in the lounge and still whispering about something, no doubt about him. Armin glanced at Kayla in confusion and hurt, and when she saw him looking, both she and Clair snarled at him.

"What are you looking at?" Kayla shouted at him. "Mind your own fucking business!"

Clair laughed at him and mockingly asked him "Aw, is the gay boy afraid? Good. It's time you learned your place!"

Armin turned and hurried down the stairs and away from the scene, hearing them cackle behind him. He didn't stop walking until Sansburg Hall was far behind him, looming into the sky, its gray stone exterior reminding him of rodent bones sticking out of the earth. Other students walking past him looked at him funnily, wondering what was making him shudder so violently.

"This is bad! What the hell did I do? Nobody was this evil back in the fall!"


Armin refused to tell any of his friends what had happened, silently hoping that passivity would lead to the situation correcting itself. Annie noticed how agitated he was during Japanese class, and yanked him aside afterwards.

"Armin, what's wrong? It's way too early in the semester for you to be this stressed out."

Not wanting to burden his best friend with the knowledge that things had taken a turn for the worst, Armin chose to hide his terror.

"Um, it's nothing."

"Bullshit. What did they do this time?"

He gulped and told her "Well, they're still being their petty selves. I just thought that smiling at that one girl all the time would bring an end to them being snot-headed."

Annie sighed and said to him "Look, Armin, you know that me and everybody else have your back, right?"

"Well…yeah…"

"Then if something else happens, we need you to tell us. If you don't, then nothing will change."

"I know" he told her, hoping that his half-lie would be enough to placate her.

Both Eren and Mikasa pulled him aside during a night out later that week, and refused to let him leave until they had their say.

"Look, Armin, we both know that something's on your mind. Is it those bitches on your floor again? If they're trying to hurt you, then I need to know!" Mikasa said, gripping his arm tight and making him look her in the eye.

He pulled the same stunt as before, only telling her "They're just being stupid as usual. Nothing for you to worry about, I swear."

Behind them, Eren groaned and muttered "Dude, you're not hiding something, are you?"

Armin laughed and retorted "Why would I do that? Seriously, you two need to stop freaking out, it's no big deal. I can handle it."

His assumption that he could manage whatever the new wave of malice was ended up being proven wrong numerous times over, as the entire month of January became filled with daily incidents on his floor. Somehow, one of the girls had managed to figure out when he entered and left the restroom, and soon Armin became almost accustomed to hearing somebody whisper malicious gossip about him just outside the door as he tried to ignore his surroundings and go about his daily life.

The bathroom was soon distorted from a safe haven into a place where he felt like a cornered animal constantly hiding from bloodthirsty hunters, whose goal remained unknown to him. These incursions on his privacy were soon followed by a series of seemingly anonymous notes found scattered over the floor, their content filled with disturbing jabs at him.

One such note was found in the laundry room, taped to the dryer for the floor to see. Armin read it and gritted his teeth as he finally accepted that he was being singled out.

"The gay boy in room 415 is an arrogant brat who spends half his day being a narcissist in front of the mirror.

Not only that, but he goes around laughing and sneering at us ladies for no good reason, acting like he's the top dog when he's the biggest piece of shit around.

Stay away from him…unless you want to get AIDs."

Armin was granted no respite from this sudden round of personal attacks, as more and more girls seemed to crawl out of the woodwork to laugh at him and join in the daily rounds of verbal taunts thrown his way by Kayla and Clair. It seemed that no matter what time of the day it was, there was always a girl waiting for him in the lounge, or even near the laundry room, ready to insult him and remind him that there was nowhere he could go to escape his torment.

"Watch where you're going, freak!" one girl screamed at him as she shoved her way past him to the elevators.

"Don't come anywhere near us, you sicko!" two others shouted at him one night as he tried to walk quietly back to his room after classes. "We don't want to catch your disease!"

During the day, while he was walking outside of his dorm during a break between classes, the evil atmosphere in Sansburg Hall clung to Armin's mind, and nothing he thought of could shake it away. Even then, he refused to tell anybody who cared for him what was happening to him. For some reason, Annie's friend Helen had been sending him numerous check-up texts that were starting to increase in frequency at an alarming rate. Armin was beginning to wonder if she was somehow aware of his situation. But he let nothing change his refusal to reveal the truth.

"No, not even her. I don't want anybody to freak out and try to get involved. I'm sure that this will calm down when those girls realize that what they're doing is wrong."

His one last hope was in Shane, who Armin hadn't seen since he had returned from winter break. The lapse finally ended when Armin passed him by one chilly afternoon on his way home. As Shane walked towards his direction, Armin pointedly looked at him and beamed, hoping to elicit the same response that he had seen in the lounge weeks prior.

But once again, his smile failed, for Shane took one glance at him and instantly glowered at him, his handsome features distorted with disgust and what Armin thought was a glimpse of fear. Armin was left standing on the sidewalk, watching the hunk walk away, and feeling more dejected than ever.

"Why is he turning on me, too?" Armin thought as he gazed at the fading form. "Did somebody on my floor spread those lies to him, too?"

Adding to Armin's despair was Elise, the quiet third member of the evil triumvirate that was bent on making him suffer. Armin had desperately wished that she, the petite girl who seemed to be solely terrified of him, would refrain from joining in on the malice surrounding him. That hope was removed when she glared him down as they rode the elevator up to the 4th floor together one evening, near the end of the month as everything on the floor continued to worsen.

Armin sighed and hurried away to his room, wondering what he had done to deserve the hatred being shown from so many people.


Elise watched Armin turn out of the corner and out of sight, her snarl still plastered on her face in case any of the other girls were to come by. Once she heard his door open and close, she walked into her own room and collapsed there on the bed, burying her face in her hands and shuddering in shame.

"No…why...why am I letting myself do this?" she whimpered, tears beading as distant memories came floating back.

"This is wrong…wrong! This is too much like back in high school, when we all targeted…"

Elise gulped, and made herself continue to remember, self-hatred flaring.

"…when we targeted my ex-best friend…"

That poor girl, that sweet and caring once-friend of Elise had never suspected that Kayla, Clair and so many other horrible girls were plotting her doom. Elise, who had been made a member of Kayla's group on the condition that she help the twisted girl target innocent gay students, had been forced to help plan her ex-best friend's downfall, telling them where she lived so that no escape routes from their malice could be possible.

Elise wept as she recalled that horrible day, when she had been sitting in her homeroom waiting for the daily announcements to begin, and the solemn voice of the school's vice-principal blared throughout the school, bringing terrible news.

"It is to my deepest regret that I announce the death of one of our students, who was found in the district park last night."

All around her, Kayla and the others sniggered as they celebrated another disgusting victory. Elise had no choice but to hide her grief under a pretense of equal sadism. Kayla and Clair took her aside later that day to tell her that the girl had been finally driven to suicide after Kayla's constant cyber bullying and Clair's successful attempts at inflaming much of the student population with horrendous lies about her sexuality had proven to be too much.

"I helped drive my best friend to suicide…and all because I was afraid that Kayla would turn on me if I didn't help her! How can I hope to face Helen ever again?"

And now, history was repeating itself. Elise shuddered as she glanced through the screenshots of the notes that Kayla had written. Kayla had demanded that Elise take pictures of the messages, so that when the time was right, they would spread the lies among the campus, with the girl's end goal being the hopeful suicide of Armin Arlert.

Elise curled in on herself, rocking back and forth as she continued to sob. None of her "friends" were around to watch her, and so, she was able to remove her hateful mask, letting her sorrow come through.

"If we actually push Armin over the edge like we did with her…then I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself…"

"When did I let myself become such a coward?"


The last day of January arrived, and Armin sat in his room, feeling bleak beyond repair and wishing that he had never come back for his 2nd semester. He spent his Friday night locking himself indoors, hoping that with the weekend upon them, his hecklers would leave him alone and go elsewhere.

He had turned down an offer from Eren and Mikasa to go out to dinner, knowing that if they saw him in his current state, the cat would be out of the bag. The image in his head of Eren and Mikasa boiling over at the knowledge of his situation was unpleasant, due to the added drama that their fury would bring to his problem.

"It's January 31 already, and my first month back has been completely wasted on this crap." Armin glared at the door, his anger towards Kayla and the others barely in check. "What the hell happened to make these girls so hateful?"

Armin then realized that he had forgotten something. January 31 was a day dear to his heart, and he had to make himself remain calm, not wanting to get teary eyed and admit how hurt and lonely he felt. With a deep breath, Armin closed his eyes and felt the old longing swell up.

"Happy birthday, Mom" he whispered, aching for her loving embrace. "I miss you so much. I wish, with all my heart, that you were still here to help me deal with this. I'm struggling to keep going, and I don't know how much more of this I can take. It's taking all of my will to not break down under all of this stress. But even with all of this happening to me, I know that one day, we'll be reunited. Knowing that I'll eventually see you, Dad and grandma again is the only thing keeping me from giving up hope…"


The first week of February was an endless repeat of January's nightmare, the notes, stalking and taunting continuing to drag Armin down into a mire of pain. He decided that, come Friday of that week, he would finally make himself tell Annie to her face that yes, something terrible was happening to him.

But his hope was shattered when he arrived at Japanese class, only to get a text from her telling him that she was sick, and unable to make it.

"My head's pounding like a drum, and I could barely make it out of bed this morning. I'm sorry, Armin. Hopefully I'll be better by Monday. Let me know what we do in class today, ok?"

"Will do, Annie. Hope you get better."

That day turned into one of the longest drags of Armin's life. When class finished, he wearily walked over back home, wishing that everything happening to him was a bad dream that he could eventually wake up from. The note he found slid under his door, unfortunately, was another reminder of how his cruel reality couldn't be escaped from.

"Armin should just die already. It's not like anybody on this floor would miss a loser with HIV. This floor has put up with his existence long enough, and nobody would be stupid enough to cry over his corpse. If he doesn't do us all a favor and kill himself, then it'll be up to us to finish the job ourselves."

Armin groaned and threw the note into the corner of the room, laying down on his bed and doing all he could to not finally collapse into tears.

"What did I do to deserve this? How could somebody hate me enough to wish me dead?"

The next day, the floor turned into an empty shell, with everybody else outside and partying. Armin refused to leave his room except to grab a few things to eat, hoping to avoid running into Kayla or anybody else for a chance. His Saturday was spent sitting alone in his room, yearning to be home with his grandpa and away from the terror surrounding him.

Midnight came, and no sounds could be heard on the floor. Armin realized that his floor mates were still out of the building and roaming around the area.

"I might as well just call it a day…I don't see the point in dragging my night out any further."

Despite his attempts to ignore the creepy focus on his bathroom visits, Armin made himself clean up quicker than usual, aching to prevent Kayla or anybody else from sneaking up on the door again. When he exited the bathroom, he froze in the middle of the hallway, the sensation of being watched sending chills over his body.

Armin turned to his left, and saw, to his terror, a shadow under the door at the end of the hallway, where Kayla lived. All he could to was stare in fright as the door opened, revealing Kayla laughing at him in the frame, and pointing the screen of her phone in his direction. Armin could vaguely make out a guy's face on her phone. A moment of silence passed over the floor before the stranger spoke up.

"Get out of here and off yourself already, you cock-sucking faggot!"

With a groan, and Kayla screaming more insults behind him, Armin ducked into his room and closed the door quietly, sitting on his bed and knowing that he had finally hit his limit. Outside, he could hear Kayla and her guy friend shouting loud enough for him to hear.

"I'm sick of seeing that loser's face on this floor! I don't know why he's still thinking that he can survive here! He has nobody to help him, not even that dunce of an RA Hannah! Nobody's gonna be around to watch him die, and not a single person here will sob when they find out that he killed himself! Armin Arlert's fate in this dorm is sealed, and his only way out is to hurry up and die already!"

"He should know by now that God doesn't care about protecting him, doesn't give a damn about gay scum like him! When this freak finally dies, either by suicide or by me, he'll go straight to Hell!"

Armin shuddered and whimpered "Leave me alone already!" under his breath, aching for some form of comfort. He turned to his phone and turned the power off, not wanting any of his friends to find out what was happening, shame stopping him from speaking out. He listened carefully, and when he knew that Kayla was done screaming, he turned to the wall and tried his hardest to get into a calm attitude.

"God…ugh…I…" Armin struggled to form words as he fought back his grief. "I need help. I don't know what to do. I'm…sorry, God, but everything they've put me through is dragging me down. I feel like I'm drowning in their hatred, and I don't know how to pull myself out of this. I need somebody to help me before…"

Armin thought of Shane, whom he still had an infatuation for, and grinned, pumping his fist into the air and feeling a slight bit of elation.

"God, I know!" he whispered, not wanting Kayla to hear him. "If I tell Shane what's going on, then-"

Without any warning, Armin felt something akin to an electric shock shake his body to the core. He looked around the room, terrified and wondering what the source was. The window was sealed tight, and the A.C. was cranked up to the highest setting, eliminating the possibility of cold air making him shiver.

"God?" he hesitantly asked, confused and disturbed. "What was that?"

And then, in the back of Armin's mind, strange images were brought to the surface, and it took Armin a moment to realize that he as seeing memories of his freshmen year. In them, he could see several tall, burly guys walking past him and sneering at him, hissing insults at him as they passed him. To Armin's horror, the tallest of them all was none other than Shane, who looked like he was ready to spit at the smaller boy in the scene.

More and more images passed through his mind of similar incidents, involving Shane laughing at him with his friends and showing Armin endless contempt. Armin bit his lip as the truth of his repressed memories overrode his previous beliefs about his crush.

"But...God, people can change, right?" he softly pleaded, still feeling desperate. "Surely if he knew that Kayla's trying to make me commit suicide, he'd be willing to help, right?"

A strong feeling of dread was creeping over him, but despite it, Armin made himself think of the one time Shane had smiled at him, and yearned with all his might for a second chance with the hunk.

"Please…" Armin silently willed, hoping that one way or another, Shane would find out about his situation, "If you ever cared about me, please help me here! These girls, including your friend Clair, are trying to get me to kill myself, and I feel defeated! Please, Shane, help me!"


Helen woke up with a gasp and clutched at her pounding heart, a strange feeling of terror clenching at her and making her sweat profusely. She tried to think of what could've made her freak out so badly, but no nightmares came to mind. After a few more moments of pondering, her thoughts drifted to Annie's friend, and Helen scrambled for her cell phone.

"Please, please pick up…" she begged, scrolling through her contact list and nearly breaking her screen when she pounded on the call button. Helen's terror escalated when her call went straight to voicemail, Armin's soft voice assuring that he would return the call later.

"Why did he turn off his phone?" Helen thought, anxious thoughts whirling around her mind about the potentially horrific situations the boy could be in. "Something happened to him, I'm sure of it. That has to be why I woke up so fast. This has been happening too many times in the last few weeks to be a coincidence! That child's been hiding something from me and Annie since the semester began!"

She kneeled at her bedside and shuddered, trying to avoid thinking of Armin's possible situations. Helen looked at her bedroom desk, another portrait of her beloved daughter resting amicably, her smile giving the bedroom a serene atmosphere.

Helen gulped nervously and began a desperate prayer.

"God, I'm begging you, take care of Armin. I know that's why I woke up like I did. But he isn't willing to tell me or Annie what's happening, and I'm so scared! Please, God…"

She looked at her daughter's face again, and burst into delirious tears as she recalled the image of her child's beaten corpse collapsed in her arms, her once glimmering eyes gazing at nothing, devoid of life and joy.

"Please don't let them do to Armin what they did to my poor daughter!"

I was confused as well, when Armin finally told me everything that happened to him on that awful floor, including that somebody had been spying on him. By all rights, nobody should've been able to know for a fact when he was in the restroom. Eventually, both of us managed to figure out how these bitches knew, and the answer is horridly simple: that monster named Kayla had been using the peephole in her dorm door to spy on his every move, so that he could never escape her vile presence on the floor.

As for what happened to Helen, that's still a mystery. Even to this day, Helen is still shaken by what she experienced that night, and the weeks leading up to this horrible moment in Armin's life. As she's told me over and over again, some strange sense of horror kept sneaking up on her, getting stronger and more intense as February came around. On this night, whatever sensation she was dealing with was so bad, it nearly gave her a heart attack.

Like you've seen me say before, I don't really believe in supernatural things, unless it's too obvious to be ignored; this was one of those rare times when even I had to admit that something especially strange was occurring, something beyond our weak human comprehension. Nobody knows exactly what happened to Helen. Whatever it was, her motherly instinct, the hand of God, or whatever you want to call it, Helen somehow realized that Armin had been pushed to the brink of destruction that night, and was teetering on the edge, close to giving up forever.

Prior to this, I had begged Armin to tell me if something was happening to him. As you can tell, my hunch was right. It seems that his shame over what those bitches did to him, coupled with his humiliation over failing to tell me and everybody else sooner, prevented him from admitting that he needed help. Thank goodness some other form of help came for him, or I truly believe that I would've lost another precious best friend that year.