Moving house was difficult enough when one was healthy, let alone when one was recovering from injuries. With his broken ribs, weakened lung, and any number of chipped bones and bruises from pelvis to shoulder, Kotetsu wasn't in any shape to do heavy lifting, or stretching up to reach high shelves, or spending time bent over to reach the lower ones. All he could say was that it was a good thing he hadn't sent his bed along yet.

It was also a good thing he had plenty of help. His mother and Muramasa on one end, his second family on the other. Since he and Barnaby had provided Agnes with the best ratings for HeroTV ever - and once Kotetsu was able to be upright long enough, a press conference that Sternbild would be talking about for weeks, what with the announcement of his and Barnaby's retirement despite their recent string of successes - she'd authorized the use of HeroTV resources to give him a hand as he got everything in order. They could spare a truck, so he didn't have to hire one for the big items, or make a bunch of trips back and forth in his van for the smaller ones. She had even brought some stagehands over to help with the packing, but when Kotetsu recognized a couple of her cameramen among them, he shut that down immediately. Her intervention during the Maverick event only got her so much leverage.

Besides, he had plenty of help without her crew. Kaede had stayed a few days before heading back; she still had some school days left before winter break. The other heroes had been willing to lend a hand, and Barnaby had been around some, of course. Not all the time - he was still trying to sort some things out in his mind, and said he needed space. Plus, as the King of Heroes, even after having announced his retirement, he had several appearances on his schedule, and he insisted on keeping them. This, in addition to the interviews that people were demanding of both of them, kept him fairly busy. Everyone was interested to know what they were going to do next. Kotetsu could answer that question easily, if not in precise detail for the sake of his family's privacy, but Barnaby's answers were more vague.

Truth be told, Barnaby didn't know what he was going to do, aside from researching what might remain of Ouroboros. It might have looked like he was back where he started, but Kotetsu knew better - Barnaby had learned there was more to life than quests for vengeance, and was going to try to figure out what exactly that might be for him... with some help from Kotetsu. Even so, he was planning on keeping his apartment in Sternbild for the time being, so as to keep his access to all the resources he'd be using in his search. Proving that it wasn't consuming him as it once had, he'd accepted Kotetsu's invitation to come visit his family for a little while, and help get Kotetsu settled in. It would be a good opportunity to let them in on the secret of their relationship, too.

A few weeks after the incident, Kotetsu's place in Sternbild was all but empty, nothing left but the things he was using every day, and he had healed enough that he'd been handling most of the preparations on his own for a few days. There was one more thing he wanted to take care of now that he was feeling better, though, before he was back in his mother's house.

"I'm at an event tonight, but I can't say that I'm enjoying this sort of thing anymore," Barnaby replied, when Kotetsu finished cleaning the place up and called him to ask. Sure enough, Kotetsu could see he was dressed up, other people faintly visible behind him. "I wouldn't mind an excuse to leave early. Isn't your bed the only big thing left to move, though? Maybe it would be better to leave it for tonight, so you have somewhere to sleep. You're not going to move the truck tonight, are you?"

"Not planning on it," Kotetsu said, somewhat uneasily. He couldn't help being nervous about this.

"It might be better if I showed up tomorrow morning," Barnaby suggested. "You could get a good night's sleep, and then I could help you move the bed onto the truck, and you'd have all day to get to Oriental Town and set up your room. I still have a few obligations to finish next week, but I could join you for the weekend."

"Eh... That's not exactly why I was asking."

Barnaby cocked his head, looking puzzled. "Hmm...?"

"What I mean to say..." Kotetsu was all the more uncertain about saying it when Barnaby was apparently out somewhere with other people. But since his initial excuse wasn't working, he couldn't think of anything else, so he just said it. "Bunny?"

"Yes?"

"...I'm ready."

Barnaby looked thoughtful - and it was obvious when he recognized what Kotetsu was saying, because his eyes widened slightly behind his glasses. "...You are?"

"I have been. With my injuries, it wouldn't have been a good idea," Kotetsu explained. "But I'm doing better now, and... once I'm back home, the walls are kind of thin, you know, Kaede's room is right across from where I'll be..."

"...I see." Barnaby nodded. "That does sound considerably more appealing than what I'm doing now." Kotetsu laughed softly, breathing a sigh of relief. "I think I can excuse myself," Barnaby continued.

"Good... I'll, uh, be here."

"I certainly hope so," Barnaby replied with a little smile. "I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Even better."

Though he'd been planning on having a little longer than a few minutes to prepare. Kotetsu had been trying to figure out how to stage something like this ever since he'd gotten out of the hospital - experience had taught him it was just more enjoyable if two people took their time and really set the mood. It was tough, though, when he was emptying his apartment of more of his belongings with every day that passed, and days just kept passing while he waited for his injuries to heal sufficiently. There was hardly anything left to stage their first time with by this time, though it was one reason he'd kept leaving the bed even after he was in good enough shape that he could have slept on the floor. He'd thought of getting some candles or something, but Barnaby would have gotten suspicious if he came across a bunch of candles while helping him pack and Kotetsu told him not to pack them. The stereo was gone, so no mood music. He had to have at least something to lead into it, though - it was going to be an important night. So he'd gone out that afternoon and bought a bottle of good wine, the kind Barnaby would buy when he bought wine.

Thing is, upon looking in the cupboards, he realized that the other day, Pao-lin had been by and helped him by packing up the dishes. He hadn't told her to leave any, so all that was left was a package of paper cups. And the couch was already gone, so where exactly were they supposed to sit while they drank it anyway? Kotetsu took stock of the situation - and in a flash of inspiration, turned over the wastebasket he'd emptied earlier, and the bucket he'd used while mopping the kitchen floor. ...Okay, no, that was stupid; he turned them back over.

On second thought, the bed was still there. Sitting on the bed was more than fine in this situation.

Thinking about it was making him impatient and anxious all at once, so it was a great relief when the knock came on his door. No point in worrying about it anymore, time to just act. Kotetsu took a deep breath, and answered with a smile. "Hey, that was fast."

"I was right around the corner," Barnaby explained with a smile, looking slightly awkward but pleased.

Kotetsu felt much the same. "Well, uh, come on in."

"Don't mind if I do," Barnaby replied. In addition to slightly awkward, he looked damn hot in that suit. Never mind that Kotetsu had seen him in it plenty of times, he looked good in it, and it was going to be fun to take him out of it... "Hmm, the place looks cleaner than I've ever seen it," Barnaby observed. "Who knew you were so good at housekeeping?"

"Heh, I helped my mom around the house a lot as a kid..." ...And there Kotetsu was in the same old grubby clothes he'd been scrubbing the apartment in all afternoon. Okay, so he hadn't thought this through very well. "Uh, so," he said, scratching his head self-consciously as Barnaby glanced around, probably realizing the same thing he had only a couple of minutes before. "The furniture's gone, except the bed... but if you want to have a seat there, I can pour you a drink," he suggested, heading for the kitchen. "Just realized, I probably should take a shower before... Uh, so you just, uh, sit back and relax."

"Hmm..." Barnaby glanced towards the wine on the counter, and the bed, looking thoughtful. "Now that you mention it, I could use a shower too."

"Oh? Ah, okay," Kotetsu faltered, not having expected that answer. "Tell you what, you go ahead and go first - I'll pour us some drinks. And then you can just relax and get comfortable while I take mine."

"Kotetsu." The corners of Barnaby's mouth turned up in a teasing smile. "Doesn't that seem like a waste of hot water?"

"Nah, it's ohhhhhh. Oh!" Barnaby's meaning occurred to Kotetsu mid-sentence. "Now that you mention it..."

Barnaby's teasing smile turned to a grin as he headed for the bathroom. "Not that I don't appreciate the fact that you got good drinks for us this time."

"They'll be just as good later," Kotetsu agreed, following gladly.

Barnaby was taking his jacket off along the way, and hung it over the towel rack once inside. That left him in a nicely tailored silk shirt, and Kotetsu stepped in at that point. "Lemme give you a hand with that," he offered with a smile.

"If you insist." Barnaby gazed at him for a moment, then brought his hands up to rest on Kotetsu's shoulders as Kotetsu worked on the buttons. "...I've been wanting this so badly, Kotetsu..."

"Me too," Kotetsu admitted. "I just..." He shrugged. "Let's not think about it, okay?"

Barnaby gave him a little nod. "My thoughts exactly. I just want to think about tonight. Right now." As Kotetsu finished the last button, he looked up to find Barnaby looking at him with hypnotic intensity. ...Kotetsu had no idea how he'd managed to hold out so long against those eyes.

But like he'd said - no more holding out. Barnaby's arms settled around his neck, and Kotetsu met his lips halfway. Barnaby's kiss seemed felt just as hungry as he felt, and Barnaby sighed softly against his mouth as he tugged up the loose-fitting tee Kotetsu wore, getting his hands underneath. Kotetsu's hands were already on Barnaby's bare chest, nothing like the softer, smaller female body he had more experience with touching. He explored the firm muscles, the way they rippled under his touch. Especially when Kotetsu rubbed a thumb over one nipple, feeling it harden, and the breath hot on his mouth as Barnaby made a soft, surprised sound. Kotetsu may not have had much experience with other guys, and what he did have was twenty years gone, but he knew what got to him. He was looking forward to giving it a try.

Barnaby was backing up towards the wall, drawing Kotetsu along with him, with hands pressing firmly against his back. Kotetsu obliged, kissing more deeply until Barnaby tilted his head back with a moan - leaving his neck exposed. Perfect opportunity for Kotetsu to kiss that too. His hands slid back and down to grasp Barnaby's hips and pull them towards his own, and Barnaby was more than willing, leaning back against the wall for balance. His head rolled to the side under Kotetsu's attentions, and he thrust his hips forward, grinding them again against Kotetsu's and murmuring Kotetsu's name. It was almost everything Kotetsu could have hoped for. Almost.

Barnaby seemed to be thinking the same thing. "Weren't we going to take a shower?" he asked, with a breathy laugh.

"We can get a little dirtier first," Kotetsu mumbled against his neck. "But yeah. Should do something about that." Like move his hands around front to start unbuckling Barnaby's belt, and Barnaby started doing his part by pulling Kotetsu's shirt up. Kotetsu had to stop kissing Barnaby's collarbone if he wanted to get it off, though, so he took the opportunity to take off his watch.

Barnaby did likewise with his glasses, setting them next to Kotetsu's watch on the sink and shrugging off his shirt. Kotetsu just watched him for a moment, absently removing the loose track pants he was wearing while Barnaby slung his shirt over the bar next to his jacket and began to remove his own pants. Barnaby looked more vulnerable for some reason without his glasses - not particularly vulnerable, given the way he was built, but younger, more earnest. Kotetsu had no idea how an old guy had gotten so lucky, that someone like Barnaby would want someone like him.

As Barnaby stepped out of his pants, he seemed to sense Kotetsu staring, and glanced up. "Mmm?"

"Just wanted to look at you for a second," Kotetsu murmured. Without the glasses to hide his face, without the bulky jacket or a bunch of armor, or the dark, form-fitting underarmor that made Barnaby's natural physique look more like a manufactured machine.

Barnaby straightened, giving Kotetsu another teasing smile. "As long as I'm allowed to do the same."

"If you want," Kotetsu chuckled. He didn't think he was that much to look at, but as long as Barnaby was content, it meant his eyes got to linger on that body, those teasing lips, the green eyes that seemed to be staring right into him, all that pale skin, now slightly flushed... Barnaby had stripped down all the way to his underwear so far - and speaking of that, it did nothing to hide the fact that Barnaby was as worked up as he was.

"...Damn..." Now that Kotetsu had noticed, he was getting even more turned on. "Okay, enough looking," he muttered, and turned to slide the shower curtain back.

Behind him, Barnaby laughed softly. "Good - I'd like to use some of my other senses too."

"Let's start with touch," Kotetsu suggested, stepping inside the shower stall and holding out his hand to Barnaby with a smile.

"And taste," Barnaby added, tossing aside the underwear he'd just removed to take the offered hand. It wasn't a very big shower, so when he stepped inside with Kotetsu, he didn't have far to go to kiss him, and it was second-nature for Kotetsu's hips to align with Barnaby's. Kotetsu gasped; it had been so long since he'd felt this, someone else bare and pressed against his body.

This time it was Barnaby who backed Kotetsu against the wall, one knee between Kotetsu's, his cock hard against Kotetsu's hip, but there was still a certain vulnerability to the look in his eyes, an innocent sincerity. "I love you, Kotetsu," he murmured. "I've never felt this way about anyone..."

Kotetsu couldn't... exactly say the same, so he wasn't sure what to say at first. "...I have," he acknowledged. "But it's been a really long time... Never thought I could feel this way again."

Without even looking, Barnaby found his left hand, closing his right hand around it, tracing the band Kotetsu still wore. "It's okay," he whispered. "I'm just glad you can."

Kotetsu smiled at him, and raised their hands so he could kiss Barnaby's knuckles. "Me too."

"I don't want to replace her," Barnaby said. "I couldn't. She was your first love... and she gave you a brave, smart, beautiful daughter, too - that's something I can't do. As long as I can coexist with her memory, that's enough."

"You can," Kotetsu assured him. But enough of that... "...Think we should get started with that shower?" he added, more playfully.

Barnaby nodded. "About time we did."

It had all been nearly too intense for a moment, but with the hot water splashing over them, it was hard not to relax a little. To laugh when the spray caught one of them in the face when they moved, to reach for the soap and use it as an excuse to touch each other everywhere. The intensity wasn't gone, though; Kotetsu couldn't have explained how the sight of Barnaby tossing his head back with a moan became even more compelling when his curls flung water droplets everywhere, but it was.

When Kotetsu slipped and barely caught himself, though, Barnaby sobered quickly; Kotetsu wasn't completely healed yet, he could undo all that progress if he was careless. And that was how Kotetsu wound up sprawled at one end of the tub beneath the showerhead, hot water streaming around him as Barnaby straddled his hips, lowering himself slowly and carefully. Kotetsu couldn't think about the deception that had started the whole thing, or comparisons between who he'd had before and who he was with now, or anything except how hot and tight Barnaby was, and how he might just be the most amazingly beautiful thing Kotetsu had ever seen. The shower's spray was catching Barnaby's hair, little rivulets of water dripping down his cheeks and over his shoulders, his mouth falling open as he rose and fell in the rhythm they quickly found.

Kotetsu was torn between staring at the perfect lines of Barnaby's face and body, and closing his eyes, overwhelmed by everything he was feeling. Keeping his eyes open seemed the wiser option, so that he could take it all in - the precise angle of Barnaby's lifted chin, the way his back arched, the way the chain he was still wearing glinted in the light as it swung forward from his chest, the burn in his eyes when he opened them again to meet Kotetsu's. The expression, halfway between joy and desperation, when Kotetsu wrapped his hand around Barnaby's cock and began to stroke.

Time seemed to have stopped, everything was so vivid in each moment, but then it seemed over suddenly and much too soon, when the soft, desperate way Barnaby murmured his name was the final detail that pushed Kotetsu to the brink. If that hadn't done it, the wide-eyed, wild look he got from Barnaby when he growled, grabbing Barnaby's thighs to ground himself as his hips bucked up one final time... that look would have done it nicely too. No surprise, because Barnaby came just after, closing his eyes and gasping as he leaned forward, taking hold of Kotetsu's shoulders to brace himself.

As their bodies relaxed, they remained as they were, trying to catch their breath as the water pooled around them and the steam curled between them. Kotetsu just stared up at Barnaby, dazed. When Barnaby opened his eyes again, he looked spent too - but also amazed, and a bright, honest smile spread across his face as he looked back at Kotetsu. It was contagious, and Kotetsu found himself grinning back lazily. "Get down here," he murmured, running his hands up Barnaby's sides to pull him closer.

Barnaby didn't object, and even laughed as he came to rest on top of Kotetsu. "Worth the wait," he said, still somewhat breathless.

"Definitely," Kotetsu agreed, and that was the last thing he got to say for awhile, because apparently Barnaby was more interested in kissing him than catching his breath. Even after the kiss, there was little point in talking. Just lying together under the falling water, smiling - that was all either of them wanted to do.

Eventually, though, Barnaby shifted and pushed himself more upright. "We can't just lie here in the bath forever..."

"Don't see why not." Kotetsu scooted back to sit up straight, however, and brushed his wet hair out of his face. "On the other hand, there's wine and a warm bed waiting for us. They're probably getting lonely already."

"That does sound good." Barnaby's eyes still lingered on Kotetsu, which was nice to see, because Kotetsu didn't want to take his eyes off Barnaby either.

There was more relaxed teasing now, scrubbing at each other with the washcloth, light caresses, more careful movement. The urgency was gone for the time being, but the look in Barnaby's eyes when they met Kotetsu's seemed to promise it wasn't gone for good, or even for the night.

Already the energy seemed to be coming back by the time they'd dried off and Kotetsu had found a spare pair of sweatpants that weren't packed yet so Barnaby had something to wear besides his good suit. Not that he was expecting either of them to stay dressed that long... but it was winter, and they weren't going to be drinking under the covers. As Kotetsu had expected, Barnaby found the idea of drinking good wine out of paper cups rather ridiculous - but by this time he was used enough to Kotetsu to be amused rather than annoyed. "You didn't think this through at all, did you?" he asked, sitting down and holding out his cup regardless.

"Hey, I thought it through a lot," Kotetsu protested good-naturedly as he poured. "I guess I just didn't think through every detail."

"It's all right," Barnaby assured him. "It's funny how things have changed... but nowadays, I'd rather be drinking wine from a paper cup with you than at a formal party, drinking it out of a proper glass with a collection of influential socialites. That might be true even if it wasn't good wine, but that cheap beer you like."

"Aw, should've told me sooner," Kotetsu chuckled, settling back against the wall at the head of his bed with his own cup. "I could've saved some money."

"That doesn't mean I'd be just as happy with cheap beer," Barnaby pointed out, scooting up to sit beside him. "Just that I've become used to your usual failings. I find them endearing, especially when it's obvious that you really did put some effort into it."

"It's a good thing I've gotten used to your weird way of giving a guy a compliment," Kotetsu muttered, and raised his cup towards Barnaby. "To, uh... getting used to things, I guess."

"That may be the worst toast I've ever heard," Barnaby teased him, but raised his own cup. "To familiarity."

Kotetsu grinned, and thunked his cup against Barnaby's. "At least you know how to make it sound better."

"Isn't that something partners do?" Barnaby asked. "Complementing each other, making up for each other's weaknesses..."

"Or helping each other get over them," Kotetsu mumbled, taking a gulp of his drink and reaching over to close his free hand over Barnaby's. "Sorry - I've got so many of 'em, I must make your job really hard."

Barnaby laughed gently, and turned his hand to lace his fingers through Kotetsu's. "Even if I weren't just as bad, I've learned to enjoy my work. ...Most of the time."

"Yeah..." Kotetsu smiled, and leaned over to give Barnaby a quick kiss. "You can be exhausting too... but the good times make it worth the bad ones."

"I suppose nothing can be perfect," Barnaby murmured.

"Nah... but even something really messed up can work sometimes."

Barnaby gave Kotetsu an odd, sidelong look. "What do you mean, messed up?"

"Well, we're both kind of messed up, you and I," Kotetsu reasoned. "So together, aren't we sort of doubly messed up?"

"I thought the point of what we were just talking about was that we're stronger together," Barnaby reminded him.

"We are, we definitely are," Kotetsu agreed. "But we're still kind of messed up."

"Fair enough," Barnaby admitted, and took another drink before setting the cup down, only to lean over and slip his arms around Kotetsu's waist. "And I suppose this is an unconventional relationship, considering how we started out."

"You can say that again." Considering how the relationship had started out, in fact. Kotetsu smiled, and finished off his own cup so he could set it aside and run his fingers through Barnaby's damp hair.

"I thought I was never going to be able to stand working with you," Barnaby murmured. "I was angry even looking at you... you seemed so old-fashioned."

"Can't say looking at you was ever a chore," Kotetsu acknowledged cheerfully. "It was listening to you that was obnoxious."

Barnaby laughed a little, and nuzzled against Kotetsu's neck in a way that made it pretty obvious that he was looking forward to round two. "Watch it, old man. I might rethink this if you keep it up."

"Rethink what, exactly?" Kotetsu rumbled, almost a purr, at Barnaby's attention.

"What do you think I'm rethinking?" Barnaby murmured.

"I think you're not rethinking anything at all," Kotetsu chuckled.

"I'm that transparent?"

"Yup."

Barnaby stretched out alongside Kotetsu, placing an arm over his waist. "So I was thinking... if you married your first love, you've never been with a man before."

"Not true."

That got a startled look from Barnaby. "Mm?"

"In the shower, about half an hour ago," Kotetsu pointed out with a smirk.

Barnaby made an exasperated noise, and shoved him away. "If you keep it up, I am going to rethink this."

"Okay okay okay," Kotetsu said in a rush, laughing, leaning over and pulling Barnaby back towards him before he could get too far. "Fine - what are you going to rethink?"

"Well..." Barnaby's exasperation sure did vanish in a hurry; he leaned back in with a sly smile. "I'd thought for the first time, you might appreciate doing something close to what you would be familiar with. But if you're interested in trying something different..."

And that was how Kotetsu wound up, not much later, with his legs in the air, one tossed up over Barnaby's shoulder. He could tell his ass was going to be sore later, but he couldn't care less. He hadn't had the slightest hesitation, between a little experimentation on his own when he was younger and then seeing how much Barnaby seemed to enjoy it earlier, and that instinct was proving correct. Every time Barnaby moved, it was like a jolt of some indescribable power shooting through him, driving him absolutely crazy, to the point of incoherence.

He was still largely incoherent afterwards, when Barnaby carefully withdrew, settling with a sigh at Kotetsu's side and cuddling up against him. "...We could use another shower."

"Nnhh. 'Morrow." Kotetsu wanted nothing more than to just lie there with Barnaby for the night, maybe forever. He moved just enough to get an arm under Barnaby's shoulders and lean into him, and then just enough to kiss the side of his head, which was closest. "...Hope you liked that as much as I did."

"I was hoping the same thing," Barnaby murmured. "So I think we're good."

"Good..." Thought and reason were beginning to return, slowly, and some things that had occurred to Kotetsu independently from one another were starting to come together to form another realization. "...Not that I mind or anything... You have been with guys before, huh?"

"I wasn't lying when I said you're my first love." Barnaby rested his head on Kotetsu's shoulder. "Not my first crush, but those were never reciprocated - and love isn't exactly a requirement, when you're young and just need to take care of a biological urge."

"...Know what you mean," Kotetsu admitted. That was pretty much what he'd expected, and it was sad, but he understood. Maybe it was sad because he understood. "But once you've had love..."

"I don't know if I could go back," Barnaby finished. "But I don't regret it. I did what I needed to do at the time."

Kotetsu squeezed him a little tighter. "Hey, I'm not judging you. Just wondered."

Barnaby's hair brushed Kotetsu's neck as he nodded. "...It's been awhile anyway. It had been even before we got together."

"Sorry I made you wait even longer," Kotetsu mumbled.

"It's all right. It was worth it. Besides, if you hadn't been ready, it wouldn't have been right."

"Well, sorry it took me so long to get it through my head," Kotetsu amended. "...Didn't think I could really feel this way about someone again... don't know why I couldn't see right from the start this was the real thing." Especially while he was lying there exhausted and content with Barnaby next to him, tracing up and down Barnaby's forearm with one hand, idly twirling the ends of Barnaby's hair in the other. How could he have ever thought otherwise?

It was peaceful, and comfortable - even their silence, and Kotetsu didn't usually like silence so much. This silence was comfortable enough that he was reluctant to break it, but after they'd been lying there in silence long enough, there was one more thing that would have made him a little more comfortable, and he scooted up a little to turn and reach for it. Even the creak of the box-springs seemed an intrusion, and he kept his voice low as he asked, "Want a refill?"

"Ah... sure." Barnaby sounded distracted - or maybe half asleep, since his head was still lowered as Kotetsu handed his cup back to him, pouring a little more wine. Probably weren't going to get a round three tonight, then, Kotetsu supposed, but that was fine. Honestly, he wasn't sure he could have lasted.

Barnaby propped himself up and took a good long drink as Kotetsu got himself a refill too. He swirled what was left absently, making Kotetsu smile behind his own cup. He looked deep in thought... How Barnaby could have enough brainpower left to think at all, let alone think deeply, was bewildering. Kotetsu was pretty sure all his brain cells were shot, except for those he was about to put to sleep with the wine.

Which may have explained why he asked. "What'cha thinking about?"

"I, um..."

Strangely enough, Barnaby seemed flustered, turning his head away just slightly. Kotetsu grinned. "Are you embarrassed, Bunny? Something dirty, maybe? That just makes me wanna know even more..."

Barnaby frowned. "No, nothing like that..."

True, that didn't look like an embarrassed frown. More like a frustrated frown. Kotetsu was puzzled. "...Well, if you don't want to say, that's fine... just curious," he said, sitting back against the head of the bed to take another drink. In his opinion, Barnaby thought too much. And Barnaby had been through a lot in recent weeks; he'd said outright even recently that he was having trouble reconciling his conflicting feelings towards Maverick, and the fact that Kotetsu was really the only person he had left now. Probably it wasn't any real surprise if Barnaby was a little confused at the moment.

As for Kotetsu, he didn't have any worry at all at the moment, except maybe a little concern for Barnaby. But Barnaby would sort it out. And if he wanted to talk, he would. Kotetsu just relaxed, sipping at his wine and thinking about the night they'd had. ...Yeah, his ass was definitely sore, but he didn't care one bit.

He'd closed his eyes, after finishing off his cup, and was almost dozing off, when Barnaby spoke up quietly. "Kotetsu..."

"Mmm?" Kotetsu opened his eyes again to peer at Barnaby. ...Still hot, naked, and in his bed. That was nice to open his eyes to.

"I... I'm trying not to be..." Barnaby was clearly struggling with what he was trying to say, and Kotetsu propped himself up again, shaking off the sleepiness to listen. "I don't want to sound like I... like I'm suspicious, or anything."

"Life you've lived, I'd be surprised if you weren't," Kotetsu remarked, resting a hand on Barnaby's knee as Barnaby sat up cross-legged next to him. "It's okay - I don't take it personally."

"I shouldn't be, with you," Barnaby sighed. "I know I shouldn't. But I can't help it."

Kotetsu just caressed the contours of Barnaby's knee and lower thigh, until Barnaby continued. "Kotetsu," he said, and it sounded like he had to force the words out. Or maybe force them to come out slowly. "Feel... what way again?"

"Huh?" Kotetsu had no idea what Barnaby meant.

"Earlier, you said you didn't think you could feel this way about anyone again," Barnaby explained, more quickly. Getting started must have been the hardest part. "Implying that was why it took so long for us to do this. But I thought it was about the sense that you were betraying Tomoe, not about..."

Uh oh. Kotetsu sat up a little straighter. He obviously hadn't been thinking much about what he was saying, or at least how he was saying it.

"I mean," Barnaby was saying, still struggling, still keeping his eyes down. "I mean... it wasn't a question of your feelings for me - or that's what I thought. But then you said that it took you a while to see that this was 'the real thing'... and I don't know how else to take that. Especially when we were talking earlier about being in love, and you said the same thing. I know..." He did look up then, his expression tense. "I know I've jumped to conclusions before. I'm sure I'm just not thinking about this from the right angle."

He didn't look sure of that at all. Kotetsu suspected his own expression was just as uneasy, because he had no quick and easy answer for that. "Bunny..." Maybe he could stall long enough to figure out what he could say that wasn't a lie, but wasn't... well, the truth, either. "Don't worry about it. I love you, okay? And that's not going to change."

"But did it change already?" Barnaby asked him. "When I first told you I loved you, you just said it was all right. Did you actually even love me then? And all this time, you had never said it..."

"Aw, come on..." Kotetsu said, hoping that he sounded incredulous rather than nervous. "Why are you even asking something like that?"

"Because I don't know how else to explain what you just said," Barnaby replied, his voice tight. "Kotetsu, tell me I'm just jumping to conclusions again."

...It would have been so easy to just say yes, he was jumping to conclusions. That Kotetsu had been in love with him from the start, he had just never thought Barnaby felt the same way until he'd said so. But it wouldn't have been easy to explain what he'd just meant, because he was having trouble thinking of any sort of alternate meaning behind what he'd said too. Even if he could think of something, Kotetsu knew he was a lousy liar. His heart was always on his sleeve, especially when it came to the people he really loved. That included Barnaby now.

And Barnaby had heard enough lies in his lifetime, especially from people he trusted and respected. And some even from Kotetsu, which Kotetsu already felt awful about.

He couldn't have escaped it now even if he'd decided otherwise; he'd hesitated for too long. Barnaby's eyes narrowed, his jaw set. "Kotetsu... you're not denying it."

"No, uhm..." Kotetsu shifted to sit cross-legged on the bed as well, facing Barnaby seriously, if awkwardly. "See, Bunny..."

Barnaby's eyes had widened again, to regard Kotetsu with a pained expression. "It's true, isn't it?"

"Listen," Kotetsu began, reaching over to take Barnaby's hand. "You'd been telling me about your life, how you'd been alone through everything. And then you said I made you feel good. And you know, I know you'd never had a chance to try being in a relationship, so it wasn't like you'd know the difference between-"

"So you decided to let the naive new kid use you as a test drive?" Barnaby asked, incredulous, and yanked his hand away angrily. "Was that what you thought you were doing?"

"I didn't want to hurt you!" Kotetsu exclaimed, holding up his hands in surrender. "Life hurt you enough already, I didn't want to make it worse!"

"So instead, you lied to me." Barnaby scoffed, and started to get up. "In order to avoid hurting me, you deceived me."

"I... never lied," Kotetsu protested, shifting to face Barnaby as he climbed over Kotetsu to get out of bed, and then getting to his feet to follow. "I mean, I never said anything one way or another..."

"Meaning you never told me the truth." Barnaby started off towards the bathroom. "You just let me believe a lie."

"There wasn't any lie!" Kotetsu protested again, as the bathroom door closed between them. "Bunny... Bunny, c'mon, calm down, I never lied to you! Bunny..."

Barnaby wasn't responding. Probably beneath his dignity to argue through a bathroom door. Kotetsu groaned and headed back to at least grab his pants, so he wasn't standing there naked when Barnaby came out to finish this conversation. And in the meantime, he could try to gather his thoughts. Maybe Barnaby would calm down while he was in there. Unless he was really, really upset; Kotetsu knew Barnaby wasn't exactly emotionally stable, and he hoped he wasn't planning to do anything rash... Kotetsu leaned in towards the door again, and was relieved to hear water splashing in the sink. Okay, so Barnaby was cleaning up. Good. That was okay.

Still, Kotetsu wasn't going anywhere, not even sitting down while he waited. Now that he wasn't quite so worried about Barnaby, he was getting pretty damn scared on his own behalf. He and Barnaby had been through so much, and they'd worked things out so far - but how many times could he get away with screwing up and still have Barnaby forgive him? Especially now, over the subject of their relationship itself...

It felt to Kotetsu like he'd been standing there for hours when the door finally opened, and Barnaby came out fully dressed, the suit jacket he'd worn earlier only slightly creased from where he'd left it on the towel bar. As for Barnaby himself, his eyes were cold as he looked at Kotetsu, then turned towards the door. "Bunny," Kotetsu began, trying to step in front of him, only to have Barnaby step aside to get around him. "Listen - I just wanted to make you happy. That was all! It wasn't like I was trying to make fun of you, or anything like that - I liked you! I wanted you to have something go right in your life for once. Maybe I didn't love you yet, but..." Kotetsu stayed in step with Barnaby all the way to the door, when he finally stepped in front of Barnaby again, blocking the door. "Look... I'm sorry," he said earnestly. "I guess it was a stupid thing to do, letting you think I loved you when I really just liked you. But if I hadn't, you would have been hurt, and I wouldn't have wound up falling in love with you for real... So even if the beginning wasn't quite right, at least it ended up okay, didn't it? Even if it wasn't real then, it's real now... isn't that worth something?"

Barnaby just stood there, staring back at him as he spoke. His mouth tightened slightly, tense and angry. "It is, but it doesn't change the reality," he murmured. "The reality is, you led me on."

"I led you on?" Kotetsu couldn't stand it any more. "You led you on!" he exclaimed. "It was you who initiated the whole thing, you who kept kissing me and holding my hand and... and buying furniture, and asking me to dinner... I just didn't stop you from doing whatever you wanted to do! I just wanted you to be happy!"

"Do you know who else just accepted my devotion, time after time, while letting me believe something he knew to be a lie?" Barnaby asked, his voice lowering, and he turned his head away in disgust. "...Maverick."

"B-Bunny..." Kotetsu couldn't believe that Barnaby was even thinking of comparing the two of them. "He was actually trying to make you believe that something was real when it wasn't - I was just waiting for you to realize I wasn't what you wanted."

"Then your plan is finally complete, as of now. You don't have to put up with my silly little crush on you any longer."

"Bunny!"

"Stop calling me that. And get out of my way - I'm leaving."

Kotetsu wanted to refuse. Barnaby had a tendency to go off like a rocket - sometimes literally - when he got an unpleasant surprise, but he'd always calmed down and been able to discuss things rationally eventually. If he could just keep Barnaby there long enough for him to become capable of listening again... But then, maybe Barnaby needed some time to cool off on his own before he could listen. And Kotetsu couldn't exactly just prevent Barnaby from leaving if he wanted to...

Eventually, with a serious, brooding frown, Kotetsu stepped away from the door. His instinct told him not to let Barnaby leave, and his heart was pounding with the fear that this was it - but maybe he'd spent enough time around Barnaby to have some of his rational decision-making rub off a little, because he could at least recognize that a serious fight was not the end of the world, much less the end of a relationship. With him and Barnaby, more like the beginning of a new and better stage, in fact. That made him feel a little better.

...All right, so actually it didn't. His heart was still pounding, his hands were feeling shaky. He sighed deeply. "Get some sleep," he murmured. "We'll talk about it later."

"I don't see that there's anything more to talk about," Barnaby muttered, and slammed the door behind him as he left.

...Well, they'd see about that in the morning. Kotetsu was aware that he'd made yet another big mistake, and this wasn't just a misunderstanding, but... they'd weathered everything else so far, right? Barnaby would cool off, and Kotetsu could explain the whole thing while Barnaby was capable of hearing, and... he at least thought there was a pretty good chance Barnaby would come to see that he was just trying to help. He really hoped so.

Even so, Kotetsu slid down the wall beside the door, sinking his head into his hands. Somehow one of the best nights in his life had turned into a pretty lousy one, and he had only himself to blame. Himself, and maybe Maverick in a sense, for setting such a terrible precedent for Barnaby's relationships with other people - but mostly just himself.

But if he'd had it to do all over again, Kotetsu didn't know that he would have done it differently. Not if it meant missing out on what he and Barnaby had become.

The sound of Barnaby's car starting outside broke the quiet, and Kotetsu remained as he was, crumpled on the floor against the wall, as he listened to it disappear, becoming just another part in the ever-present hum of city traffic.

There was no way he was going to leave it at that.