The pages dropped to the ground. I was unable to fully grasp how Bella could have thought or felt anything this dark. She always seems so together. For the remainder of the drive I gazed out the window, watching life pass me by. This life that Bella wanted to 'check out' of.
When we arrived at the hospital, we waited to see the Doctor who would see her through treatment at this facility.
We were ushered into a sterile office. The walls littered with his diplomas and credentials attesting to his alleged qualifications.
"Mr. Swan, Mr. Cullen. I'm Doctor Scott. Please have a seat."
"Thank you Doctor." Charlie said
"Now, to start, do you have the journal pages?"
"Yes I do."
"Thank you Mr. Swan. I've been to see Bella just before I came here and I'm sorry to say that I am extremely concerned by the state she's in."
"How is she Dr Scott?" I asked
"She currently is very sedate and calm. We gave her some medication to help her into that state. When she came in, she was almost wild. Claiming she didn't belong here, and crying out for you Edward. That is your first name, correct? Edward Cullen?"
"Yes, I'm Edward." I glanced over to a panicked Charlie who now was second-guessing his choice to bring her here
"But she okay, she didn't hurt herself again?" Charlie asked the Doctor
"Oh no. She won't have an opportunity to do that here. We will keep her under control during her stay."
"You mean medicated." I muttered
"Yes Edward, medication is part of the treatment. At this time, I'm guessing you both would like to see her?"
"Yes." We both said, almost in unison. We got up and waited for the Doctor to show us to Bella
We followed him through several sets of locked doors, and soon he stopped at a steel door with a small glass window.
"Now, please remember she has been sedated. The nurse has informed me that we had to use restraints on her. Please stay clam and remember that treatment is for her own good."
He opened the door, and Charlie saw her first, he let out an audible gasp and I quickly looked in and my dead heart fell. She was strapped down to the bed, with her eyes glazed open. She didn't even move. She didn't react to us at all.
"What the Hell is this Dr Scott?" Charlie asked
"I told you Mr. Swan, she had been acting out when she arrived."
"I'm not sure I like this, she doesn't need to be sedated or restrained." I said looking at both Charlie and the Doctor "Please Charlie, can we take her home." I practically begged
Charlie looked at me momentarily as if he agreed with me, but then said, "Edward, this is very difficult to see, but it's in Bella's best interest. She needs to get better."
"Charlie, this is not going to get her better. Being locked up in a small room, sedated!"
"This kind of attitude will not be helpful to her. I think it would be better if you don't return Mr. Cullen." Dr Scott said dryly
I walked over to the bed, looking directly into Bella's eyes. She showed no signs of recognition. Her lips were dry and a small amount of drool had come from her mouth.
"Please Charlie." I begged "Can they please at least not sedate her like this. How can she get better in this state."
"I do agree with Edward on that point Dr Scott. I made this decision without even telling her. She was most likely frightened and didn't know what was going on. When she wakes up, if I can just explain to her why she's here. I'm sure she will be more cooperative."
"We can explain everything to her. Anyway the sedative will wear off after you two have left."
I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "I love you Bella. I'll see you soon."
Charlie copied my action speaking to her "Bella, we'll see you in the morning sweetheart."
We were then ushered out and told to some back the next day.
When we got to the car I couldn't contain my anger any further "Charlie, she doesn't need to be here and you know that. You have to see that."
"Edward, why don't we give it a few days and see how she does."
"I don't want her to think I've abandoned her in that place!" I said
"I know, but we need to get her better somehow."
My phone rang, and I picked it up knowing it would be Alice
"Edward, you can't leave her in that place. I was in a place like that, I don't want her there." She demanded
"Now I see why you wouldn't remember anything. She was so out of it Alice, all of the drugs they must have given her to calm her down." As the words came out I realized that Charlie was hearing this "Anyway Alice, there is nothing I can do for her tonight."
Charlie and I decided to stay at a hotel in Seattle so we couldn't have to drive back and we could get over to see Bella early in the morning. When we got to the hotel and I was alone in my room, I was consumed by my feelings. I picked up the pages of Bella journal. One phrase stood out at that moment from all of the others.
No one knows what I'm capable of…
What could she have possibly meant by that? She was so conflicted and I was worried for her. I knew one thing for sure and that was Bella couldn't stay in that place. She needed to come home with me. Tomorrow I was going to try my hardest to make Charlie see I'm right, and that Bella needs to return home.
