The Draco Horror Picture Show
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A/n: Once again, the next chapter. Enjoy.
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Chapter Eight – NevilleA whip cracked, and Seamus, Ron, and Dean entered the lab.
DEAN: [Falling down, and getting whipped] Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Merrrrrcy!
SEAMUS: [Whipping Dean] How did it happen? I understood you were to be watching!
DEAN: I was only away for a minute...master [getting up]
SEAMUS: Well, see if you can find him on the monitor.
DEAN: [Looking at the monitor and sees someone] Master, master...we have a visitor.
RON: Hey, Remmy! ... Professor Remus Lupin!
DEAN: You know this earthling ...person?
RON: I most certainly do! He happens to be an old friend of mine.
SEAMUS: I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. You came here with a purpose.
RON: I told you, my car broke down. I was telling the truth.
SEAMUS: I know what you told me...but this Professor Remus Lupin, his name is not unknown to me.
RON: He was a DADA professor at Hogwarts.
SEAMUS: And now he works for your government, doesn't he, Ron? He's attached to the bureau of investigation of that which you call UFO's! Isn't that right, Ron?
RON: He might be...I don't know.
DEAN: The intruder is entering the building, master.
SEAMUS: He'll probably be... in the Zen room. Shall we inquire of him in person?
Dean turned on a magnet switch, and Professor Remus Lupin went wheeling (he was in a wheel chair) around the house, until he came wheeling into Seamus' lab, and Seamus stopped him by putting his foot on one of the wheels.
RON: Great Lupin!
PROFESSOR LUPIN: Finnegan, we meet at last.
RON: Professor Lupin!
PROFESSOR LUPIN: Ron! What are you doing here?
SEAMUS: Don't play games, Professor Lupin. You know perfectly well what Ron Weasley is doing here. It was part of your plan, was it not? That he and his female should check the layout for you. Well, unfortunately for you, all the plans are to be changed. I am adaptable, Professor Lupin; I know Ron is.
PROFESSOR LUPIN: I can assure you that Ron's presence here comes as a complete surprise to me. I came here to find Neville.
RON: Neville! I've seen him!
SEAMUS: Neville! What do you know of Neville, Professor Lupin?
PROFESSOR LUPIN: I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things. You see Neville happens to be my nephew.
Ron: Professor Lupin.
Moaning comes from the tank where Draco came out of, and Seamus uncovers the blanket revealing Draco and Hermione. The two stand up, still in the tank, with a blanket covering their body.
HERMIONE: Ah!
PROFESSOR LUPIN: [Looking at Hermione] Hermione!
HERMIONE: [Looking at Professor Lupin] Professor Lupin!
RON: [Looking at Hermione] Hermione!
HERMIONE: [Looking at Ron] Ron!
SEAMUS: [Looking at Draco] Draco! [Draco looks at Seamus]
PROFESSOR LUPIN: [Looking at Hermione] Hermione!
HERMIONE: [Looking at Professor Lupin] Professor Lupin!
RON: [Looking at Hermione] Hermione!
HERMIONE: [Looking at Ron] Ron!
SEAMUS: [Looking at Draco] Draco! [Draco looks at Seamus]
PROFESSOR LUPIN: [Looking at Hermione] Hermione!
HERMIONE: [Looking at Professor Lupin] Professor Lupin!
RON: [Looking at Hermione] Hermione!
HERMIONE: [Looking at Ron] Ron!
SEAMUS: [Looking at Draco] Draco! [Draco looks at Seamus]
SEAMUS: Listen...I made you...and I can break you just as easily.
PAVARTI: [Enters, ringing a gong,] Master, dinner is prepared!
SEAMUS: Excellent. [Looking at Hermione] Under the circumstances, formal dress is to be optional.
AUTHOR: Food has always played a vital role in Life's rituals. The breaking of the bread, the last meal of the condemned man, and now, this meal. However informal it might appear, you can be sure that there was to be very little. Bon ami.
SEAMUS: [Raises glass] A toast... to absent friends...
EVERYONE: To absent friends.
SEAMUS: And Draco. [Singing] Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Draco... [Stops singing before singing 'Happy birthday to you'] Shall we?
PROFESSOR LUPIN: We came here to discuss Neville.
LAVENDER: [squeaks] Neville?!
SEAMUS: That's a rather tender subject. Another slice anyone? [Cutting what looks like a turkey]
LAVENDER: Excuse me... [Exits dining room]
PROFESSOR LUPIN: I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I imagined...Aliens!
SEAMUS: Ugh?!
RON AND HERMIONE: Professor Lupin!
SEAMUS: Go on, Professor Lupin.
RON: Just what exactly are you implying?
PROFESSOR LUPIN: It's all right!
RON: But Professor Lupin!
PROFESSOR LUPIN: That's all right, Ron!
PROFESSOR LUPIN: [singing]
From the day he was born
He was trouble.
He was the thorn
In his mother's side.
She tried in vain...
AUTHOR: [Singing] ...but he never caused her nothing but shame.
LUPIN: He left home the day she died.
From the day she was gone
All he wanted
Was Rock 'n' Roll porn
And a motorbike.
Shooting up junk...
AUTHOR: He was a low down cheap little punk!
LUPIN: Taking everyone for a ride.
EVERYBODY: When Neville said he didn't like his Teddy
You knew he was a no-good kid.
But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife
SEAMUS: What a guy!
HERMIONE: Makes you cry.
LUPIN: Und I did.
LAVENDER: Everybody shoved him.
I very nearly loved him.
I said, hey, listen to me;
Stay sane inside insanity!
But he locked the door and threw away the key.
LUPIN: But he must have been drawn
Into something,
Making him warn
Me in a note that reads...
EVERYONE: What's it say? What's it say?
NEVILLE'S VOICE: I'm out of my head.
Oh, hurry, or I may be dead.
They mustn't carry out their evil deeds.
EVERYONE: When Neville said he didn't like his Teddy
You knew he was a no-good kid.
But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife
SEAMUS: What a guy!
HERMIONE: Makes you cry.
LUPIN: Und I did.
EVERYONE: When Neville said he didn't like his Taut
You knew he was a no-good kid.
But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife
SEAMUS: What a guy!
HERMIONE: Makes you cry.
LUPIN: Und I did.
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A/n: Okay, well, no lovey-dovey stuff in it this one. Well Professor Lupin is playing the part of Dr. Everett Scott, Eddie's Uncle. And Neville is playing the part of Eddie, remember the 'Hot Patootie' dude? Yeah ok, well, please review! : )
