The Doctor's Epically Epic OneShots of Epicness

Chapter 8 – Tea or Tea?

A/N – So, I was thinking, what if the Doctor offered me tea, and I assumed it was sweet tea? Being southern, I figured, good prompt, because I can write me (aka Leigh Caldwell).

Also, this is the first true drabble. Yay! And, look for the number above the chapter title. That's which Doctor I'm with. All settled? Good!

(P.S. No offense to any British readers. It's just how I would react…)

11

Tea or Tea?

I was laying on the jump seat in the console room. We had gotten back from fighting Slitheen in 1840's Earth. And I smelled like Vinegar.

Don't get me wrong, I love anything pickled. (Except beets. Pickled beets are nasty.) So when we threw the pickles and pickled eggs, it was all I could do not to eat them.

"Doctor!" I called. He was in the kitchen getting some tea, and being incredibly slow about it.

I mean, it's not that hard. Come on, just pour the tea out of a pitcher from the fridge into a glass, and there's your tea! Is it that hard?

"Leigh! Can you give me a hand? I need you in the kitchen!" The Doctor called. What is he doing?

Grudgingly, I trudged to the kitchen. When I got there, he sat down a tray of cookies, one kind full of jelly, some tea cups with saucers, and… and…

A TEAPOT?

"Doctor, what… what is this?" I almost, almost shrieked. His face portrayed confusion. "I thought you were getting sweet tea, not some British stereotype!" I said, my southern accent really laying it thick!

"What do you mean?" The Doctor asked, bewildered. "If you want sweet tea, pour some extra milk and sug-" But I cut him off.

"Milk? In TEA? Who does that? That's like puttin' gas on a banana! We ain't in England (Although why you Time Lords have an English accent I will never know) so why the obsession with tea?" I gasped for breath. I rant too much.

The Doctor stood there, his jaw wide open.

"W-what?" He sputtered.

I pushed his mouth shut. "Close your mouth honey, you're gonna catch flies," I smirked, then grabbed his arm and pulled him to the stove.

"What are you doing?" He asked, as I pulled out a small, shallow, rusted saucepan, a box of Luzianne tea bags, and a gallon container of cane sugar. "And just what happened to the kitchen?" He exclaimed. It had formed into the kitchen that I had at home. Good ol' TARDIS. Green walls, an island in the middle, plenty of cabinets, and two ovens. Just like home.

"Now, Doc," I started. He made a face at that nickname. "Here's the real way to make some good, ice cold sweet tea." I walked over to the sink and put water into the saucepan.

"Leigh, who drinks tea cold? That's not good at all!" He complained. I shot him a disagree-with-me-and-I-kill-you look. He shut up quite quick.

"Now, you put the pan onto the left corner burner and wait for the water to heat up, and while that's going on, you tie two tea bags together," I demonstrated. "And rip off the tags. Then you put the tea bags into the water and keep waiting."

I told him. He seemed quite fascinated by how I knew to do this, but at the same time disgusted at the idea.

"Now, we come over here," I pulled out a large, blue, gallon Tupperware jug and the sugar. "And put one cup of sugar into the jug."

"One cup?"

"I'm sorry, but I go by Imperial. No Metric. You're smart enough, do the conversion."

"Fine."

"But isn't that going to be really sweet?"

"Doctor, you'll see, quit asking questions!"

The tea on the stove was boiling, so I turned it off, then walked back to the sink, and set the jug into the sink. Then I walked over to the stove, grabbed a long plastic spoon from the drawer, grabbed the saucepan and went back to the sink.

"Why do you need such a large container for that much tea?" The Doctor questioned.

Then, I poured the contents of the saucepan (except for the tea bags) into the jug, threw out the tea bags, turned on cold water, and started stirring. The Doctor had a look of shock on his face. I grinned at the sight.

"Here, you stir. I need to do something right quick." He fumbled around with the spoon, until he got the hang of it and stirred. I quickly pulled out my phone and took a picture. He can't get out of this one!

I went over and turned off the tap, then snapped the lid onto the jug.

"Now, I'm putting this into the fridge, but before you taste it, we need to get something first." I told him. "Go to the console room! I'll meet you there!" I called, running into the hall. I silently asked the TARDIS to take us to the KFC in my hometown. Then I went to my room, grabbed my wallet, and went to the console room, where the Doctor was waiting.

"Come on!" I grabbed his hand and dragged him out the door.

"What- What is KFC?" He asked

I rolled my eyes. "Kentucky Fried Chicken, idiot. We need to pick up some real food." We walked inside and waited in line. "And remember," I told the Doctor, "I am gonna do the talking."

So, after some small talk and ordering, we got our food and walked back to the TARDIS.

"Doctor, this is the south. We all know each other! She happened to go to my church." I defended myself.

He rolled his eyes. "Come on; let's just get this over with," He grumbled half-heartedly. He liked seeing me enjoy myself, and he knew I knew it.

Once we got to the kitchen, I pulled out the contents of the bag and set them onto the bar (the eating space on the island) where plates and cups with ice were already set out. I went to the fridge, grabbed the jug of sweet tea, and poured some tea into the glasses. I made my way around to the stools, then jumped up onto one. The Doctor was cautious, but sat down anyway. After biting into a warm biscuit (the real kind, not cookies), I took a bite of chicken and a swig of sweet tea. Then I set down my glass and looked over at the Doctor. He looked back at me, then cautiously took a sip. His eyes lit up.

"Hey, you know, this is pretty good! Can I have-" Then he saw me videotaping it on my phone. Next thing I knew, I was trying to upload it to YouTube while running from an angry Doctor, my sides in pain from laughing so hard.

Yup, it's a good day.