A Thing Called Irony - Chapter Eight

Naminè's Got Resolution?

Warning: Okay, now enter the actual love interest, who has a filthy potty mouth. Shame on you Rox!

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Disclaimer: The day I own Kingdom Hearts is the day I agree to skydive. (heeeeell naw)

GO!


#11: Disagreements happen often in relationships, and it's natural to not see eye to eye on things.

Kairi H


When Roxas finally opened his eyes, it was already eight o'clock in the morning. The blonde laid in his warm sheets for a minute as the clock happily blared the remaining fifteen minutes he had before he was late for school, again. With slow cognition, Roxas closed his eyes for a minute before suddenly shooting out of his bed with a swear and dashing to the bathroom. He had no time whatsoever to shower, and he barely had time to swish toothpaste around in his mouth. With the eight minute drive to school in mind, Roxas spat out what was in his mouth and drug (Demyx's) dampened washcloth around his more necessary areas before putting the cloth back in its place (respectfully, of course) and hurrying back to his room to jump in the nearest pair of khaki pants he could get his legs into. As he snatched his bookbag off the back of his door, his books and folders tumbled out as if gravity had a personal vendetta against them. With another frantic swear, Roxas stuffed the fallen objects back into his bookbag and proceeded to locate a decent pair of shoes. Whilst slipping into his vans, Roxas glanced at the laughing clock again to see that it was 8:08.

With renewed panic, Roxas fumbled around to grab his phone, wallet, and keys before rushing out the door and into his frostbitten Kia. As he started the ignition and blasted the defroster, Roxas noticed that his phone had beeped in the alert tone of low battery. Sleep deprivation tangled with annoyance as Roxas realized his cell phone was never fully plugged in and now only had ten percent of battery left. With a huff, Roxas powered off the device to save what little power it contained and backed out of the driveway despite his windows still being tinted with sleet.

As he pulled onto the main road and the trees of the suburbs disappeared, the glare from the sun onto the ice of the windshield made it impossible for Roxas to see anything in front of him. With no time to card the ice off, Roxas rolled down his windows and drove from what he could see through the whipping, icy weather. We're talking twenty degrees Fahrenheit here. Roxas was immediately freezing, and with time being so of essence that morning, his coat was sacrificed in the scramble.

As he pulled into the school parking lot (unharmed, miraculously), Roxas grabbed his bookbag and flew out of his car. He made it into the building just as the warning bell sounded, but as he was hastily rounding the hall that would take him to homeroom, gravity took a hold of the items in his unzipped bookbag with roaring revenge and everything came spilling out onto the floor in a whopping crash. A cold sweat broke out along Roxas's back as he dove to retrieve his things, but the bell rang before he could gather all the contents. Roxas swore harshly as he glared up at the speakers that had just rendered all his rushing and worrying in vain before finishing at a slower pace. Once his things were neatly packed in his bookbag, and his bookbag firmly zipped this time, Roxas turned with disinterest and instead made his way to the vending machines.

If he was going to be late, he was going to be late.

It was half an hour before Roxas showed up to first period, missing his fifteen minute homeroom entirely. He had decided to clean himself more thoroughly in the restroom before presenting himself to the general public. As he wordlessly interrupted class to take his seat, an extended foot had him suddenly tripping over himself before falling to the floor much like his stuff did earlier. The class roared with genuine laughter over Roxas's plunge, but the blonde could easily make out an insult of Chicken Wuss from the noise. Roxas stood and faced the instigator with a sneer but his literature teacher halted all of his actions with a demand to take his seat and to stop causing disruptions to a class he couldn't even bother showing up on time for. Roxas nearly shuddered with anger but he took his seat anyway.

After his third period, Roxas was stopped in his tracks to the vending machines (Daring, seeings how the school had better thank Welch's fruit snacks for keeping Roxas from burning the place down) at the call of his name from the PA system in the front office. Roxas was honestly on the verge of becoming a mental case when he was told he was being held back an hour after school in detention for collecting a total of seven tardies.

By lunchtime, Roxas was contemplating just going home. Xion was absent for the rest of the day due to a dentist appointment, and sitting with just Pence (Because who knew wherever the hell Olette and Hayner disappeared to) was more awkward than sitting with a distant relative you gave absolutely no shits about. As soon as the lunch bell relieved Roxas of his conscience, he left Pence to head back to his fourth period only to run into Seifer and Rai by the men's room. Roxas tried to leave the confrontation that was simply begging to go down, but Seifer seemed to have a bug up his ass because he was being more persistent with trying to start something than usual. So, of course, they duked it out with meaningless insults in the hopes that their insult would be hurtful enough to shut the other boy up so they could get to class.

Go figure, Roxas was given another tardy and Seifer a stern warning (damn his existence on the Student Government Association). After returning to fifth period after being called to the office again for the addition of another half hour of detention, Roxas was almost flippantly given his test results of his anatomy midterm, which was a flat out F. Now Roxas really did want to go home, and if it wasn't for the stupid detention, he would have. He didn't even want to know what shituckery his last period had in store for him, since this day was just full of it.

Surprisingly to Roxas, sixth period went smooth (well, smooth enough for him to catch up on the stolen sleep from that morning). His day continued to pick up when the instructor for his detention hour was Miss Aurora, a sweet lady with, apparently, some type of epilepsy because that lady was out like a light in literally five minutes. So with this sudden good juju in the air, Roxas left the school with a lighter heart and with lower blood pressure.

Up until his car broke down in the middle of the bypass. At that point, Roxas gave up on the idea of having a good day that day. It was pointless. He was obviously the target for a bored Satan today or something. All his bad karma was raining down on him like an erupting volcano of all evil doings. Or something. This shit was getting ridiculous. As he sat there for the better part of twenty minutes waiting on Demyx to come get him, freezing, he tried to imagine homeless people so he wouldn't hate his life too much right now. Hell, he was only a streetlight and a right turn from their neighborhood. What the hell was the hold up? He was positive Demyx didn't have to work today, and if not at work the idiot was usually seen passed out in front of the tv at home. Roxas was rooting around his pockets for his phone again when Demyx finally pulled up past his frozen Kia.

Icy grass crunched nosily beneath Demyx's boots as he made his way up to Roxas's car. Roxas stepped out of the car, aggressively slamming the door shut. "What the actual hell took you so damn long to get here?" Roxas immediately questioned, missing his coat dearly in the crisp winds of an uncoming downpour.

Demyx paused at his brother's obvious foul mood, cringing slightly as his eyes glanced back towards his car for a moment. "I was at a friend's house. You're lucky I even heard my phone ring." Demyx answered, equally as sour.

"Whatever." Roxas shivered harshly, irritated by the mix of frost and rain in the air. "Can I drive this p-piece of crap home or not?"

Demyx felt at the tops of his teeth with his tongue as he approached the hood of the car, Roxas following shakily in his trail. After getting the hood propped up, Demyx glanced around the inner parts of the car. "Did it make a noise when you tried to start the car?"

"Dir-dir-dir-dir-clink." Roxas relayed, his chattering helping to imitate the stuttering noise of his lifeless car.

The dirt blonde didn't comment on Roxas's imitation."Either the starter motor doesn't have enough power to turn over the engine or there's a poor connection at the battery terminals." Demyx shook his head at the accumulated mounds of bluish-white corrosion around the battery. Roxas knew nothing about vehicular upkeep. "I guess we'll try jumping the car first... If that doesn't work, I'll have to go to the store real fast for something for this corrosion."

"Dude, I could've told you I needed a jump." Roxas mumbled as he turned to get back in his heatless car, glad to escape the rain.

Demyx sighed deeply before heading back to his own car. Looking to the inquiring blonde, Demyx explained, "Sorry, Nam. We have to jump his car off." In response, Namine was slow to nod her head. Demyx was honestly surprised that the info was foreign to the petite blonde. Despite being well-off, Namine did ride normally to school everyday. She should know a thing or two about cars by now. Who knew there was someone on this planet that knew less about cars than Roxas did! "We have to connect the batteries of both cars so that I can get a little power into Rox's car. The battery is dead."

Namine nodded understandingly this time, but Demyx got the hint that she was still unsure. Placing a hand on the steering wheel, the dirty blonde somewhat hesitated before shifting the gears to drive and turning the car around. Once parked again, Demyx peered over to Namine nervously. "I don't have any diapers on me for when you piss yourself meeting this guy."

Namine swore she couldn't understand what all the fuss was about; Demyx's brother looked as if he saw El Diablo himself when their eyes locked. But she really wanted to know what would prompt such a negative reaction more than anything now. "It's a good thing you have leather seats then." Namine smiled.

Demyx looked so uncomfortable with the entire situation, but got out to finish the job anyway. He hurriedly began connecting the cables to their appropriate places as he kept an eye on his shell-shocked brother. Roxas was really starting to weird him out by just sitting there in his car with that contemplative look on his face. Since when did Roxas ever think before he did something? Thinking makes him sound like a wholesome individual! Demyx spent the next few minutes going back and forth between cars until it was evident that Roxas's car was going to need more than a jump to crank. Roxas was leaning against his driver's side door when Demyx told him about the possible corrosion problem.

Roxas took a quick inhale before furrowing his brows and exhaling. "Demyx," he started slowly, as if Demyx was a child being reprimanded for the fifth time that hour. "Why are you driving Namine around?"

Demyx was silent for a moment, considering all the ways this conversation could go downhill. "Well, this isn't the first time." Great job Demyx. Pick the absolute worst response you could have possibly chosen. Roxas sent him a look of infinite confusion and disconcert and Demyx felt he needed to redeem himself from that answer. "Me and Namine are actually good friends, and have been for awhile."

"Are you kidding me?" Roxas asked in a soft breath that was barely heard over the traffic beside them. Demyx was ready to explain everything, but Roxas continued. "Since when?"

Demyx sighed and leaned against the car beside his brother. "The night of the winter dance."

"Since December?" Roxas repeated in surprise. He stared at Demyx for the longest time before slowly shaking his head in what looked like a way of calming his anger. "Demyx, I asked you- I asked, if there was anything actually going on between you two." When blue eyes rose to meet green, Demyx looked down at the thin cover of snow on the ground. "And you said, and I quote, 'Of course not'."

"I know what I said," Demyx mumbled. "I just... I dunno, man. I guess I just didn't want you to know."

Roxas let out a short huff of laughter. "What? That my brother lied to my face for weeksabout hanging out with the preps? That you were hanging out with manipulative, conniving, two-faced bastards that seem to already have my poor idiot brother following in their footsteps perfectly." Roxas shook his head again while Demyx rolled his eyes.

"Okay, dick move. I get it."

"Yeah." Roxas immediately agreed.

"But it's not as if you would have welcomed the news with open arms. I knew you didn't like them, so I kept my mouth shut about it. And you know what? They're not bad people." Demyx admitted.

Roxas recoiled as if Demyx had personally offended him. "Are you fucking serious? God, they totally have you fooled don't they? Did you not hear me earlier? Or ever for that matter! What are you, Cady? Trying to fit in with Regina George and her posse? They're assholes, bro! They talk shit about everyone, they think they're better than everyone, and they act as if they're better than everyone! Hell, we might as well be flies to them! Dem, I'm going to need you to wake up, because all that group is good for is being Grade-A douchebags and sleeping aroun-" Pause. "No. You didn't, did you?" Roxas suddenly asked in hushed tones.

It was weird to see Roxas go all gossip mode on him, but he guessed that was to be expected when it came to Namine and her friends. "I didn't sleep with anyone if that's what you're asking. Actually, I don't even think Namine knows what sex is." Demyx said with a fond smile.

Roxas rolled his eyes this time. "Charming, Demyx. Nice to know you're as playable as a fifth grade recorder. I can't even believe you just said that to my face. No, I think I'm still stuck on the fact that Namine fucking Ferrand is in front of my face. Dude, why are you hanging out with her?" The smaller blonde asked desperately.

"Like I said," Demyx started with godlike patience, "She and her friends are, for the most part, decent people. Yeah, they can be a bit... unaware at times, but hell, it's definitely not something to hate them all for like they're the bane of your existence! I swear if you get to know her, she's not really the monster you guys made her out to be."

"Get to know her?" Roxas spat, as if the notion insulted him. "Pass. I ain't trying to catch no STD's today."

Demyx gave his brother a disappointed frown before sighing again. "You know, before coming here, I told her that you weren't exactly fond of her and her friends."

"Why the hell would you say that?!" Roxas cried out angrily. Demyx was genuinely surprised at such an explosive response from the smaller blonde. "I'm not trying to be a part of prep drama! I don't have the time or the patience for that!"

"Then maybe what I have to say will mean a helluva lot more now." Demyx calmly interjected. "When you called, I was initially going to leave her at Marly's, where we were at earlier. But after telling her the situation about your, uhh, opinion of her, she tagged along to find out why."

"Because she's a tool!" Roxas answered indignantly before turning to face Demyx's car and shouting, "Because you're a tool!" Demyx rushed to turn his brother around and the smaller blonde roughly shouldered Demyx off of him. "Damn wannabe princess. Oh, so nobody can say some shit to her, huh? Can't nobody hate her, is that it? If she wasn't too busy hanging around people whose noses were shoved so far up her ass, she would have heard some shit by now! I bet she's here to bribe me. Stepped outta line and said something disagreeable, now my silence has to be bought. Man, fuck that..." The blonde laughed humorlessly as he forcefully opened his car door and retrieved his things.

Demyx huffed a sigh as he listened to his brother prattle on and on about whatever before Roxas slammed the door and headed to the dirty blonde's car. With an eyebrow raised, Demyx asked dumbly, "Where ya going?"

Roxas didn't even spare his brother a glance as he walked. "Where do you think? I'm not freezing to death out here dealing with this bullcrap. Take me home."

"What about your car?" Demyx countered.

"It'll still be there tomorrow." Roxas snapped, opening the backseat door and sinking heavily into the car.

Demyx took a deep breath to calm himself before starting the task of collecting the cables. That went better than expected; however, it was just the beginning.


#12: When first starting off in a relationship, it's good to remember that first impressions may not always be truthful to that person's character.

Kairi H.


Namine didn't know what to make of the silent altercation in front of her, but she knew she was stuck in the middle of it. This brother, Roxas, seemed very passionate about his anger, which surprised Namine. She knew he wasn't fond of her, for whatever reasons, but this... it was as if she had actually done some heinous crime against him sometime in the past. Namine felt almost like a villian! She was on the edge of her seat the entire conversation, trying unsuccessfully to decipher the word's from Roxas's lips. She couldn't tell what was going on out there, but it struck her with immediate alert when Roxas turned and walked straight towards her.

The backseat car door opened and along with freezing gusts of air came a somewhat frozen Roxas seating himself heavily into the car. Once he was settled and less like a frozen treat, Namine turned to gave him a small but genuine smile. "Hi, would you like me to turn the heat up for you?"

Roxas paused his movements to just stare at the girl before him. Suddenly a blonde eyebrow rose above unimpressed, blue eyes. "Well aren't you just a doll? Nooo, I'm fine. I quite enjoy freezing away my chances of procreation."

Namine didn't miss a beat in turning up the heat in the backseat. Whatever that look was, Namine didn't like it, at all. Not wanting to give herself time to lose her backbone, Namine turned to face Roxas again. "I want to apologize for any inconvenience or impression I might have given you. If you'd like, you're free to express any anger you have with me to me as well."

Roxas looked at the blonde with a tilted head. His eyebrows hurt from being pinched together so tightly, but damn if he couldn't get over what she had just said. Roxas straightened in his seat and asked with a straight face, "Do you charge?" Namine blinked and Roxas extrapolated just as Demyx finished packing away the cable cords. "For sex. Do you charge? Is anal expensive?"

Somebody might as well have backhanded Namine with the way she startled at that question. Demyx opened the driver's side door and took his seat while Namine turned forward again in her seat. Green eyes surveyed the quiet atmosphere as he put the car in reverse. "Everything cool here?" He inquired, mostly towards a star-struck Namine.

Roxas suddenly laughed. "What am I saying," he seemed to correct himself, "You don't charge! Why would you?"

Demyx immediately looked towards Namine and Namine averted her eyes to the window. Her cheeks were still fevered from a few seconds ago. "Rox, what are you talking about?"

Roxas kept his glance on Namine. "Just asking how much coin I'd be giving up to bend her ass over and-"

"Roxas!" Demyx hollered angrily. Namine's eyes widened as her face began to flush outwardly. "Come on, man! Don't start with that!"

"Whaaat?" Roxas whined innocently. "She asked me to!"

Namine couldn't help but to immediately retort, "I asked you to vent to me!"

"What, that wasn't you implying sex?" Roxas mocked with disinterest. "Silly me. Easy mistake."

Namine was speechless as Demyx rattled loudly about his brother's insensitivity. All Namine could hear were Roxas's crude words wrapping themselves around her ears and blocking out the outside world. Where in the world did he learn to address people like that? Namine's blush was nearly to her shoulders! Even with how perverted her friends could be, she hardly ever heard language quite that strong. Thankfully, Demyx was soon pulling up to the two brother's driveway.

With a glance over his shoulder, Roxas said to Namine, "Last chance, sweetheart. We'd have the house completely to ourselves-"

"Get the hell out Roxas!" Demyx shouted in the rearview mirror.

Roxas shrugged as Namine bowed somewhat apologetically. "No thank you." She shakily declined.

Demyx snapped at her about indulging Roxas's childish behavior as Roxas left the car with a snort. "I'd hate to catch anything anyway." He admitted in his departure.

Demyx glared at his brother before peering towards a pink Namine. They sat in silence for a few minutes as Demyx concentrated on the road. "Need that diaper now?"

Namine let out an exasperated huff of laughter. "Oh yeah."


A/N: I really need to fix all the continuity errors in this story. There are even more now than before the remodeling! Sigh... That's a lot of work though.

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