"Are you sure we won't fall?"
"I wouldn't let that happen, Sam."
Even so, he still felt slightly at ease sitting on the edge of the rocky tower, legs dangling over the edge. He hadn't been concerned for Lucifer when the archangel had taken a seat on the edge, but when Lucifer had indicated for Sam to sit beside him, it had taken him several moments of steeling his nerves before he'd come anywhere close.
It was dark now, the sky overhead peppered with stars. There was a crisp chill in the air, but Sam found it pleasantly fresh.
Sighing, Sam looked down at the ground miles below. "Do you mind if we find another case? I feel bad still not hunting."
"Whatever you wish, Sam," Lucifer said. "Do you want to go back now?"
Sam shrugged. "It's late. We probably should. But... it's peaceful up here."
"Places without humans traditionally are."
"I'm a human," Sam pointed out.
"You're special."
Sam frowned slightly, brow creasing as he took a moment to truly think about that point. It had, of course, occurred to him before, but curiosity now got the better of him, as well as the cautiously growing confidence that Lucifer would not smite him for being too bold. "But really, I am a human. Don't you... dislike that? I mean, that your vessel is human?"
Surprisingly, Lucifer shook his head.
"This may sound strange to you, Sam, but really, I don't actually dislike humans. Not in the way you imagine."
Sam's frown deepened. "Yeah, that kind of does sound strange. I thought that was your whole thing."
Lucifer shook his head. "There are many creatures in creation, Sam. The point is that none of them are as pure as angels are. You're all flawed, petty..." He paused briefly before continuing. "I don't mind other species. Many of them I find mildly fascinating. But I would not bow to any of them. My Father created it all, so He is the only thing worthy of praise for anything all his creations achieve."
"So what you're saying," Sam began slowly, "is that you don't just want to destroy humans for the sake of it. You just... Don't think you should have to bow to us?"
"Why should I?" Lucifer replied, a sudden firm note to his voice. "What was my Father thinking? Why should I serve a bunch of creatures so far below me?"
Sam honestly didn't know. He couldn't really argue, he supposed, that Lucifer was something far more... far greater than any person, but then again, who was he to try to know what God was thinking.
"Do you find me petty then?" Sam asked. There was no malice in his voice. He was honestly simple curious.
Slowly, Lucifer turned to face him. "No," he said. "You're human, Sam, yes. But you've always had a higher understanding, haven't you? You're not an ordinary human. Your race is an insignificant point. What you are at your core, that's what matters to me."
Sam felt rather humbled by that. Turning his gaze slowly down to his lap, he sighed. "I think you think too much of me."
"I think you don't think enough of yourself."
Lucifer- thankfully- had enough energy to teleport them back down again. They headed back to the car to find a motel.
"We're closing the top," Sam said. "It's cold now."
"No it's not," Lucifer objected, batting Sam's hand away the button that closed the roof.
"I'm cold," Sam insisted.
"I'm always cold," Lucifer bit back. "You'll get used to it."
Sam rolled his eyes and firmly pressed the button. "I drive, so my rules."
Lucifer tilted his head back, giving the roof a distinct glare as it unfolded and lay back into place.
"This vehicle is too small," Lucifer muttered as they headed back out onto the road.
Sam ignored him, turning on the radio, which seemed to distract Lucifer, at least.
They found a motel in the northern part of Wyoming and checked in for a couple of nights as Sam was determined to find a case to work.
Browsing the local paper at breakfast the next morning, sure enough, he came across a series of reports of local disappearances, all young girls of a similar age. It took twenty minutes of nagging and arguments before he persuaded Lucifer into the dark-coloured suit, sighing in relief when Lucifer was finally grudgingly fastening his tie.
"I need to make you an FBI badge," Sam said. He took out his phone and opened the camera app. "Stand against the wall there." It was a stroke of good fortune that the walls of this particular motel room were plain white.
"What are you doing?" Lucifer questioned, frowning suspiciously at the phone held out toward him.
"I need to take a picture," Sam replied.
"What picture? Why?"
Sam sighed. Lucifer was apparently distinctly paranoid about many things. "You'll see. Just look at the camera. Don't pout. Smile a bit."
Lucifer appeared less than enthusiastic, but managed to give the camera an acceptable look. He watched with interest as Sam hooked his laptop up to a small portable printer and took out a blank FBI badge.
"You need a fake name," Sam said.
"My name is Lucifer," Lucifer responded firmly.
Sam sighed again. "I can't just write 'Lucifer' on a federal agent badge. We're supposed to be undercover."
Sam's badge was lying on the table and Lucifer snatched it up. "Why does your badge not have your name on?"
"Because I don't want people to know who I am. Pretending to be an agent is a serious crime."
"Then why are we doing it?"
"Because more often than not it's the only way to get information. If an FBI agent asks you something, you kind of have to tell them." He picked up the photo as it printed off and picked up a pair of scissors to cut around it. "Come on, what name? I'll come up with one if you like."
"Can't you just put Nick's name on it?"
"No. You look like Nick, then people will track Nick down."
"They won't find Nick."
Sam resisted the urge to bang his head on the table. Lucifer was stubborn, if nothing else. "Pick a name or I will. I'll just put something like 'John Smith' if you're not fussed."
"I don't want some human name."
"Tell me one then," Sam said, only just managing to keep the frustration out of his tone.
Lucifer was silent for a few moments, before he finally responded. "Hêlêl."
Sam blinked in surprise. "Okay, that works, I guess. A little exotic. You need a surname, too."
"Morningstar."
"Hêlêl Morningstar," Sam repeated. "Huh, okay."
"It's still my name," Lucifer said.
"Really?" Sam questioned. "I'd heard of the Morningstar bit before, I think."
"Hêlêl is the hebrew equivalent. Lucifer, Hêlêl, Morningstar, they all essentially mean the same thing."
Sam nodded. "Wow, man of many titles, huh? Okay, er, you need to sign it. Just write the name basically."
Lucifer took the pen offered to him, scribbling the name in a slanted but neat script, accenting both e's in Hêlêl.
Sam stuck the photo on and slotted the ID into a slim black wallet. He held it up and inspected it, handing it over to Lucifer once satisfied it appeared legitimate. "Okay, just follow my lead, okay?"
Lucifer had this naturally dignified look of authority. Sam had noticed it before. There was no doubt in his posture; straight-backed, easy movements. In Nick's form he was also nearly six-foot-two and looked like the type that could knock you out in a bar fight, though he appeared a fair bit older than Sam, it just gave him this look of wise experience. In short, he didn't appear as the type of person people dared say no to.
The police officer who greeted them at the local station gave no hint of reluctance when they asked to go through, showing their badges as Sam asked to see the evidence for the relevant case.
Lucifer didn't miss a beat. He showed his badge properly when Sam did. Not upside down like Castiel had famously managed to do. He looked round the police station with vague interest as they were shown through to view a grainy piece of security footage of what was supposedly the last abduction.
"We're pretty sure that's the missing girl," the officer was saying as he pointed to the footage. "You see the guy grab her there, but there's a slight gap between this camera and the next." He hit a button and a new piece of footage from just around the corner of the previous alley appeared. "This is the only way out, but they don't show up on this camera. We don't know how they could have slipped by."
"Isn't that the girl there, though?" Sam questioned, pointing to a figure of similar build who was also being hauled along by another man.
"Yeah, but that ain't the same guy," the officer said. "Look at him, even on this footage you can tell it's a different bloke."
It did indeed seem to be. The first man had been rather tall and slim, wearing a hoodie, and the second man was far more squat and wore a long coat and slacks. However, Sam could see a slightly unnatural glint to his eyes when he looked back over his shoulder. The officer, of course, had presumed it was simply some kind of light glare.
"A shapeshifter, definitely," Sam said, as soon as the officer was out of earshot.
Sam requested all the footage of the second man, though the officer continued to insist it was a different person. They could track the man all the way to a private office building on the outskirts of town.
Stopping back at the motel to collect his knife and gun loaded with silver bullets, they made their way to the building.
Sam led the way as they crept round to the back entrance. It was by now getting dark and the streets were thankfully rather quiet. Sam told Lucifer to keep watch for anyone, while he knelt down to pick the lock of the door.
He had it open in less than a minute, giving the door a gentle push to reveal a gloomy, unlit corridor. Glancing briefly at Lucifer, Sam began to make his way down, taking his gun from his belt and holding it out before him. He wasn't sure whether to be exasperated or amused at the extreme casualness with which Lucifer followed him, as if there were no danger to the situation whatsoever.
The place was in rather a state of disarray. Debris crunched underfoot as he walked, aware of Lucifer treading silently behind him. Gun first, he snuck around each corner, up one flight of stairs, until he spotted a door firmly padlocked shut up ahead. It seemed to match up with where he'd spotted one room from the outside had blacked out windows.
It took longer to pick this lock, but finally it popped open and Sam pushed the door back.
What was inside rather sickened him. There were two of the missing girls lying dead on the floor. Their clothes were ripped and Sam didn't want to imagine what had been done to them before their deaths. Many shape-shifters just played dumb tricks with their powers, but there were some like this who used them to get away with evil things, knowing there was no way any normal law enforcement could track them down.
So distracted his thoughts of disgust on the sight before him, Sam only had time to register the crack of a gun firing before it was too late. Something sharp and painful pierced his upper arm and grasping at the profusely bleeding wound, Sam stumbled back and collapsed onto the floor.
"Bloody hunters," a voice growled.
Sam looked up to see a pale, brown haired man, sure enough with gun in hand, across the room glaring down at him. Grinning, the man aimed his gun at Lucifer next. Unfortunately for him, the man had clearly presumed Sam's companion was merely another hunter come brandishing only weapons and hunting skills.
Sam didn't even see Lucifer move. Neither did the shifter, who suddenly stumbled back, wide-eyed as the devil loomed over him. Lucifer's hand closed on his neck like a vice, fingers digging right into his flesh, pushing past skin and muscles like they were made of soft putty. He ripped a chunk of his neck right out, and the shifter fell back onto the floor. But, to his horror, as Sam looked at him, he saw he was still alive.
Lucifer stood over him, placing one foot on his chest and firmly pushing down so the man choked and writhed, blood spilling from his neck wound like a fountain. Sam heard the very distinct sound of his ribs cracking, and with a final series of horrid, shuddering chokes, the shifter fell dead.
Kneeling on the floor with one hand clutching his arm, Sam could only stare wide-eyed.
There was blood coating Lucifer's hand as the archangel came and knelt down beside him. His expression was all but nonchalant, completely unfazed by what had just happened, as if he hadn't just ripped a man to shreds. "Let me see, Sam," he muttered, moving the hunter's hands away to inspect the wound.
Lucifer hovered his hand over the wound, and the bullet which had imbedded itself in his arm shot out and clattered onto the floor. Lucifer paid it no attention, forehead creasing slightly as he slowly healed the wound over, the skin twisting in on itself and sealing.
Once done, Lucifer swayed slightly, as if dizzy. He turned his head away sharply, a frustrated growl escaping him. "This is ridiculous," he muttered. "I want my grace back." he glanced up at Sam, who was merely staring at him, wide-eyed. "I should have sensed that thing was there. I should have protected you."
Sam blinked, eyes softening slightly. "What?"
Lucifer sighed, breath coming out in an angry hiss between his teeth. He was showing more emotion now than he had over killing the creature, as if it was this that really mattered to him. "If I had been at full strength, you wouldn't have got hurt. I'm sorry, Sam."
"It's not your fault," Sam said slowly. He glanced over at the body of the shifter.
Lucifer followed his gaze, noting the look of unease on Sam's face. Slowly, it seemed to dawn on him why Sam felt that way. "I scared you." It was more of a statement than a question.
Sam looked away.
It confirmed what Lucifer had wanted to know all the same. He frowned. The look showed displeasure, but not anger. "I didn't intend to scare you, Sam. I was merely angry. That thing disgusts me."
Hesitantly, Sam's gaze slid back over to him. "You could have killed it much easier than that. Even now." He sighed. Despite his words, his voice was soft. "You don't always have to go to extremes, Lucifer."
Something of a bitter smile touched Lucifer's face. "But perhaps I do, Sam. It's expected of me, after all. The devil isn't supposed to be meek and subtle. Constant rage and anger all the time, that's the standard."
"Why?" Sam questioned, genuinely curious.
The fixed, unhappy smile on Lucifer's face seemed to harden. For a few long moments, he just stared, almost glaring, at some vague point over Sam's shoulder. "Needless to say," he began at last, "rebelling in Heaven is not a small issue. I had no choice but to be utterly resolute in what I did. I had to make a point, Sam. Minor whining never would have done it. And since then, I have to continue kicking up a fuss. There was never any other option but to go to the utter extremes."
Sam thought the words over. "If you'd showed any doubt, you wouldn't have been taken seriously."
Slowly, Lucifer nodded. "If you're going to rebel, you have to put on a bit of a show, Sam. For millennia, I've thrived on only three things: my power, my resolution that I was right, and..." He paused briefly, slowly lifting his gaze and meeting Sam's eyes. "And you."
Sam felt himself blush, but forced a sense of composure. He wanted to know more from this conversation. "Did you ever think about it?" he asked. "Changing your mind?"
Lucifer looked away again. He remained silent for so long that Sam genuinely thought he wasn't going to answer, and was about to speak again, when Lucifer finally responded. "It wasn't an option," he said. "You can't undo rebellion. Especially in Heaven. So I've had no choice but to remain fixed in my proving a point ever since." He paused again, seeming to swallow down some old, bitter anger. "Some of them laughed at me, you know." His voice was barely audible, hardly more than a whisper. "My arguments, the stories of my claims that perhaps Father had this one thing wrong, it all spread through Heaven in gossip and whispers. So many of them merely brushed me off as a fool. They said I'd gone mad."
"But now they fear you," Sam said softly.
"Better that than they laugh at me," Lucifer hissed.
Before he could stop himself, Sam found he was raising his hand and gently placing it on the side of Lucifer's face. The archangel looked at him curiously, but gave no protest. "I wouldn't laugh at you, Lucifer. I understand. I do. But I don't want to fear you either."
"I said, I wouldn't want you to, Sam. You're perhaps the only one I can rely on to truly see my point without it having to be constantly demonstrated."
Sam nodded. "Doesn't mean I completely agree," he reminded him softly. "But I don't think you're a fool, either."
"And neither are you, Sam," Lucifer whispered. "You are so much smarter than most. I keep trying to tell you this."
Sam shrugged, hunching his shoulders. "I'm nothing special."
"But you are," Lucifer said firmly, grasping one of Sam's shoulder and forcing the hunter to look at him. "How many more times do I have to say it, Sam?"
They were still sat on the floor, Sam with his legs bent to the side, Lucifer kneeling over him. Sam felt Lucifer's breath tickle his forehead as he sighed, making his hair shift. "Why do you keep saying it? You've been in my damn head, Lucifer. You know all the worst things about me."
Lucifer's eyes narrowed slightly. "Did you miss everything I just said, Sam? You've seen my doubt. You know I'm not perhaps the perfect strong image they think I am. Do you think I would show that to anyone else? You think I would tell anyone else that?"
Sam shrugged. "I don't think any less of you. You know I don't. Lucifer, your flaws are-"
"Why I love you," Lucifer cut in.
Sam froze. He'd been about to say something of the same to Lucifer, though perhaps watered down. He couldn't confess how he really felt. He would have said 'admired', or 'respect', or something of that nature. And then Lucifer had cut in, and repeated back to him what he really wanted to say. What he had always wanted to say. And Lucifer was saying it to him, as if he really deserved it. And they were kneeling on the dirty floor here, together, surrounded by death and destruction. "...What?"
"You think I don't love you," Lucifer stated more than asked. "Sam, of course, I love you."
Sam wanted to say something. Words were racing through his head but his body wasn't reacting to speak them. Certain he looked pathetically gormless, he just stared.
"You kissed me," Lucifer said.
"What?" Sam broke out of his trance, face flushing.
"When you were intoxicated," Lucifer explained. "I didn't think you remembered."
"Oh God," Sam cried, burying his head in his hands. "Lucifer, I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot."
"What are you sorry for?"
For... For... I don't know. Just making a constant fool of myself."
"Haven't I just said that I don't think you're a fool?"
Sam paused. Finally, he swallowed thickly, composing himself before continuing. "Okay. That's great of you. Really. But I should apologise for kissing you, still."
Lucifer sighed. "You don't listen at all, do you, Sam? You're so fixated in this assurance that you're worthless, someone telling you different falls completely on deaf ears." He coiled one hand around the back of Sam's head, fingers threading through his hair. "I've told you before, Sam. And I've had enough of this, of you looking a me like you think I'm playing some joke on you when I call you special. I don't lie. So believe me when I say I love you."
"But..." He was sure he was dreaming. He couldn't have heard right, could he? "I'm not worthy of that."
"You're my vessel, Sam. You were made for me."
"I know. But I'm such a let down. I-"
"I said that's enough of that, Sam."
"But-"
"Enough."
Any further argument Sam could have given was cut off, swallowed up into Lucifer's mouth where the archangel's lips were suddenly pressed against his.
