sorry for not updating in a while! i hope you guys like this chapter! it's kind of long/depressing/happy/excruciating/worth it :P
She trailed kisses from his neck down to his chest and back up again until she reached his lips.
"Rachel, please I'm so tired!" Finn said, laughing.
"Just one more time!" she begged.
He kissed her nose, "that's not fair. How am I supposed to say no to someone as beautiful as you?"
"You don't!" she said kissing him and smiling as she felt him kiss her back.
Rachel opened her eyes and looked at her surroundings. White walls, white curtains, white sheets, no Finn…
"Finn?" she asked quietly.
Oh my god, she thought, he regrets it. Oh and he's right to as well. It was a huge mistake. One huge mistake. Almost as big as my head ache – damn hangover! Oh! Oh I was drunk! I can tell him I was drunk! We can still be friends! We just had sex…3 times…4 times dammit! I was just upset about Jesse! That's why! I slept with him out of sorrow, no, he slept with me out of pity. Well either way we had sex and I love him too much to lose him! We can't do that? We're friends. Besides it looks like he figured it out before I did. What a sleaze. Ditching me like that!
Rachel continued her thought train as she searched for her underwear. Once fully dressed she stood by the mirror near the bed and began combing through her hair with her fingers. The door opened and there stood Finn. Holding a tray. And flowers.
"I – I went to get you some breakfast in bed,"
Unfortunately, Rachel had over thought the entire night and figured out a plan that she saw as flawless.
"Thanks, but I better go. I have to see my dad's before we leave,"
"Rachel, it's 7 in the morning. They're probably asleep…what's wrong?" Finn put the tray down on the bedside table and walked over to her.
"Nothing! I just can't believe what Jesse did, that's all. What an asshole. I'm so lucky I have you,"
Finn smiled and leant in to kiss her.
"Thanks for letting me crash here last night!" she said, turning her head away, "you're a real pal. I owe you Hudson,"
"I…I let you crash here?"
"Yeah! You know, I came in crying about Jesse, you hugged me and then the last thing I remember was waking up! Man, I must have had a lot to drink…"
"You… you don't remember what happened last night?" asked Finn trying to keep his voice steady.
"…What happened?" she replied as she casually took a bite of the toast Finn had brought up.
"Nothing. Nothing happened," Finn said as he walked out of the room.
This is for the best Rachel. He'll get over it… I know he will!
Finn stood in his bedroom, unpacking his suitcase.
Unbelievable, he thought. He had let himself fall even more in love with her than he had originally planned, only to have her not remember any of it. It felt wrong to have to pretend like his feelings weren't there when he was around her. He thought about that story he had heard of that couple who were in a car accident and the girl suffered amnesia. She couldn't remember that the man, holding her hand as she woke up was he husband. He had to make her fall in love with him all over again as if he were a total stranger. Maybe that's what Finn could do? Unless she's just pretending not to remember because…. Maybe he was bad in bed? No, that can't be it, he thought. Maybe she was in love with him too but thought it would jeopardise their friendship? Well whatever it is, he thought, I'm going to tell her what happened that night…
Rachel stood in her bedroom, unpacking her suitcase.
Unbelievable, she thought. She had left her favourite underwear in Finn's hotel room.
Days went on and Rachel was finding it harder and harder to pretend like nothing happened. She noticed herself staring at him sometimes. Just watching him. Watching him cook, watching him read, watching his eyes as he spoke to her about things like the weather and the time. That seemed to be all they ever spoke about these days. Whenever she had invited him into her bedroom to lay on the bed and talk, like they used to, he would come up with an excuse not to. What she didn't know, is that Finn knew if he lay next to her on that bed, he would not be able to control himself. Especially when she was in one of his t-shirts, wearing it as a night gown.
"I'm going to take you out to dinner," said Finn as he brushed his teeth.
"Why?" Rachel replied after she had spat out her foamy toothpaste.
"Things have been sort of… different, with us. I want to tell you why,"
"Tell me now!" she said, drying her mouth with the towel.
"I'll tell you tonight,"
Finn was nervous, so was Rachel. Neither of them knew how the night was going to end.
Finn picked at the half eaten bread on his plate. They had ordered and they had greeted each other but apart from that, there was only silence. Thankfully, Rachel decided to break the ice.
"You know, you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to,"
"We slept together…" Finn blurted.
"I know," replied Rachel taken a large sip of her wine.
"You know? You knew this whole time?" said Finn, nearly choking on his bread.
Finn couldn't believe it. Rachel knew! She had lied to him in that hotel room and had lied to him every day since then! She was supposed to be his best friend and her lack of communication made him feel like they were in high school all over again. Where the cheerleader hooks up with the nerd for one night and pretends to not remember him the next day – and there he is. Desperately in love with her. Hopelessly invisible. Finn felt a twinge of anger as he saw her sit there, saying nothing.
"Why, Rach?"
Rachel took a deep breath.
"I slept with you that night, because I was upset about Jesse. But then when you told me you loved me, you sounded different. Not like how you usually say it but… you meant it, didn't you? And I was lonely and you were there! I know it's mean but I over analysed everything when I woke up and saw that you weren't there! I figured that if we went out there was a chance that I could lose you and I didn't want that Finn! I can't lose you! So, I made the stupid mistake to - "
"Lie to me? Use me? Sleep with me when you knew how I felt about you?"
"You think I wanted this to happen? Finn if I thought for one second that everything would turn out this way, I would not have done what I did."
Finn could feel his face getting hot.
"But Finn, I have to tell you something,"
He shook his head as he stood up, "I don't want to hear it,"
Finn headed for the door as Rachel quickly got up to follow him.
"Finn! Wait! Please!"
And there they stood. In the middle of the dark, empty footpath with only a street light to keep them company.
"What, Rachel? What do you have to tell me right now? What is so fucking important that you won't leave me alone, huh?"
"I went on a date with Mike Chang…"
Finn's hands flew in the air, "Rachel! I don't care! You can go out with whoever you want! It's not my business anymore!"
He turned and began walking again, until he heard her voice once more.
"I went out with Puck too,"
"Why…why are you telling me this?" he said, trying to keep his voice steady as she caught up to him.
Rachel stood up from the table to greet him.
"Thanks for meeting me Mike,"
"It's no problem. So how did you get into the business?"
"Broadway? Oh well, when I was younger I-"
"N-no, I meant, how did you become a wedding planner?"
Rachel sat back in her chair in disbelief. Finn had planned this. He wanted her to not find someone before the wedding so that he could be her boyfriend for the night. She smiled to herself at how cunning he had become.
"Well get into that later, tell me about your wife!"
"Oh, Tina? Well she's my best friend! You know how there is just that one person in your life who you know will be there for you at 3 am when you're upset? She knows everything about me, and I know everything about her but there is still that sense of, I don't know, mystery in her eyes. She's beautiful! So beautiful and I have to remind myself every day how lucky I am to have found her,"
Throughout Mike's entire speech, Rachel just kept thinking of Finn. Finn was her best friend. He was that one person in her life who would be there for her at 3 am if she was upset. He knew everything about her and she knew everything about him. He was beautiful and she hadn't realised until now how lucky she was to have him.
Days went on and Rachel was finding it harder and harder to pretend like nothing happened. She noticed herself staring at him sometimes. Just watching him. Watching him cook, watching him read, watching his eyes as he spoke to her about things like the weather and the time. That seemed to be all they ever spoke about these days.
She could see Finn smiling at her from the corner of her eye. He was watching her too. But he probably wasn't thinking the same things she was, was he?
She stared at Puck's picture. One more date couldn't do much harm could it? She was still single and if history had shown anything, it was that Puck wasn't going to be the committed, nice guy she had hoped for, but a woman-eating manwhore. And maybe that's exactly what she needed.
"You're so hot" Puck whispered as he kissed Rachel.
"Th-thank you?" replied Rachel, feeling oddly uncomfortable.
Puck continued to kiss her as he slowly moved his hand up her skirt.
"Don't," was all she could say.
He was so aggressive and forceful – Finn had been so gentle and sweet. Finn hadn't even assumed he was going to sleep with her that night! She was the one who began unbuttoning his shirt and he was the one questioning her. But with Puck, it was like he expected it.
"Do you have protection?" she asked, knowing that no matter what the response was, she was leaving in about ten seconds anyway.
"Na, babe, I have great control!"
"Awesome! Good luck with that!" she said as she rolled him off of her. She staggered out of his room and out of the building.
Now she knew it. It was so simple. Finn loved her, and she could deny it all she wanted to. But love was something that came to her mind when she thought of Finn. That and a smile.
"So I know you set them up! I know that you wanted the dates to be bad, I'm not angry at you – I'm so thankful Finn. Because if you hadn't, then maybe I wouldn't have seen how amazing you are! Or maybe I would have but by then it would have been too late, and I'm hoping… I'm hoping it's not too late…"
Finn looked up at the stars and took a deep breath.
"Rachel, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I lo-"
Finn kissed her. He picked her up in the middle of the street and he kissed her.
Rachel fell onto her bed, laughing as Finn trailed kisses from her lips down to neck. He kissed her once more before sitting up and holding her hand lightly.
"This is perfect. You're perfect, but - "
"But you don't want to… do that right now?"
"Right,"
"Because you think it would be moving too fast and you think we should talk about it more,"
"Exactly"
"Because you know that even though you… well we love each other…. Sort of… you know that maybe we should take it slow,"
"Stay out of my mind!" Finn joked softly as he brought her hand up to kiss it.
"We could cuddle?" Rachel suggested.
"But I thought you hated cuddling?"
"I'm warming up to it," Rachel said, smiling.
Finn put his arm around Rachel and she snuggled her face into his chest. They were doing this. They were really going to do this. And for once in her life she couldn't think of a single thing that was wrong with the boy who was in love with her.
i hope you all liked it! yay! finally Rachel isnt in denial anymore haha. i have no idea what should happen next so please PLEASE review with your ideas :) i love hearing what you guys think!
