((Sorry this chapter took so long to make, and it's kinda short and not really worth the wait. It was really difficult to write. This was seriously like the 8th version and I was just so fed up with it I wanted to get it done so it's not my best work and I apologize. I've already got a synopsis for the next chapter so it shouldn't take as long. Sorry once again. ))

I'm sprawled out on my back, fingers wrapping tight around my headboard and my eyes squeezed tight shut. I look down and Carmen's head pops up from under the blanket, she wipes her lips and looks at me with her dark eyes.

"Are you ok?'' she asks and I nod, my pale skin flushed. I rub the blurry vision from my eyes with the heel of my hand. When I feel Carmen's tongue again every bit of my starts to tingle. My fingernails dig into the wood of the headboard; goose bumps coat my skin.

"Fuck…''I breath out of my heaving chest as I watch the top of Carmen's head poking up from under the blanket. She snickers but doesn't stop what she's doing.

"So, I'm guessing you don't want me to stop?'' she asks sarcastically. My whole body starts to tremble and I can't even answer her properly.

"Fuck!'' I say again, louder though. Carmen laughs and hugs my legs closer to her face. I feel every bit of me tingling, my breath shortening, and just when I'm about to lose all control my eyes snap open.

I'm face down in my bed, my head buried under the pillows and my heavy blanket covering the middle third of my body, my feet dangling out over the edge. I lift myself up like I'm doing a push up and I actually find my arms wandering around my bed hoping she'll be there. That it wasn't just a dream. But of course it was, and I'm alone in my bed now.

The alarm clock flashes 5:27 am, what I'm doing up this early I don't know. But this has become a cycle. I go to bed at 2 or 3, and I don't even realize I'm falling asleep until I wake up, always before 6. I disregard my exhaustion and make my way out the living room. I figure I can try and watch some shitty infomercial until a reasonable hour, and then maybe make some food.

To my surprise Carmen is already awake, showered and already dressed she's sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through some big book and eating some cereal. I see her from behind and I wish I could just go up and wrap my arms around her. I wish I could just pull her in tight against me and feel her warmth, kiss her cheek and whisper that I love her. But I can't. So I just walk to the fridge.

"Hi.'' Carmen says from behind me.

"Hey.'' I answer, pulling out the remaining vodka. I turn around on my heel to find a glass and Carmen's staring at me now, her head propped up on her fist, eyes penetrating me.

"Isn't it a little early for that?'' she asks with her brow furrowed. I just shrug her off.

"Depends on your perspective.'' I reply, thinking to myself that it's still dark outside so I still consider it night.

I have a sick feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach since I've been dreaming about fucking Carmen all week like some horny teenager.

On Monday it was the first time we met and she tried to show me a mix. Tuesday I relived the night after our first real date where we came back here and I told her I loved her. Every night it's a new memory. Now I'm conjuring up scenarios that haven't even happened.

When I wake up just being in the same room is a task in itself; I can't even imagine trying to touch her. I've been doing everything I can to stay awake, stay interested in life but all I want to do is just go back to sleep where Carmen's warm and welcoming and wants nothing more than me, rather than the reality where she just treats me like a child.

"Did you take all these?'' she says and I twist my head to look over my shoulder. I practically feel my blood run cold when I notice she's looking at my photography portfolio.

"Why are you looking at these?'' I question and Carmen just shrugs and slowly turns the page, her eyes fixated on photos of Molly from a million angles.

"I just found it, I didn't know what it was…''

"Where'd you find it?'' I'd been looking for this for weeks. I filled up that portfolio the week Jenny got me the studio because I could finally develop all the prints that were on it. I'd left it on my nightstand before Jenny rearranged the room, and I'd been looking for it ever since. I never worked up the courage to ask Jenny because I didn't want her to look through it. The damn thing was practically all Molly and I knew how Jenny got, so I just figured it'd turn up eventually.

"It was out in the shed." She points her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the backyard. "I thought I'd clean it out a bit for you, since you sleep all day." She smirks and shoots me a mischievous look. "And I found this. It was in a stack of her books.''

So Jenny took it. I can just picture her finding it and hiding it out in the shed like she did with the jacket. I guess she figured if every trace of Molly was out of sight she'd be out of mind too. As much as I loved and admired Jenny, jealousy was just something that ate her up, whether she'd admit it or not.

"So you took them, right?'' Carmen asks, turning another page. I move over beside her, placing my hand on the table for support as I lean over her.

"Yeah.'' I answer scarcely louder than a whisper. I didn't mean to, I just wasn't paying attention to my volume, but I'm looking down at the nape of Carmen's bare neck and I see her whole body tense up as goose bumps creep over her. She turns another page, and of course it's Molly topless. She's sticking her tongue out at me and flipping me off, I feel a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth because I remember taking that picture and Molly was not very pleased.

"Who is she? The girl in all these pictures?'' I can't tell if the tone of Carmen's voice is implying that she's jealous or genuinely interested, but secretly I hope it's the former. I slink into the adjacent chair, sitting diagonally from her and I watch as she flips another page. I prop my chin up on my fist and sigh.

"Molly. Her name is Molly.''

Carmen rolls her eyes and smirks, flipping through a few more pages.

"Another one of your conquests, I'm guessing.'' She says and I seem to detect some bitterness in her voice, but I ignore it. I lean forward on my elbows.

"Do you wanna go out tonight?'' I ask, and Carmen's eyes finally pull away from the album.

"What? Like a date? Are you serious?'' she chuckles and I shake my head.

"No, Kit and Helena are having a special night at Hit. Everyone's going.'' I answer, keeping my voice as calm as possible. Every little snide comment Carmen makes is another little blow to my self-esteem, but I ignore them, I'm trying to anyways.

Carmen flips the book shut and leans back in her chair, arms folding over her. Her fingers drum along her bicep as she considers her answer. Her eyes look around the room and she shrugs.

"I guess so. As long as your DD.''

"What?'' I quip and she laughs.

"Yeah, that's right. You. If you stay sober and be the designated driver, I'll go.''

"Carmen, it's a bar. I'm gonna drink. I'm not a child you can order around.''

She laughs again, pushing herself up and standing. She snatches up the album in one hand and starts to walk away, turning her body halfway around before she reaches the doorway.

"I knew it!'' she chimes, "Same old Shane, always leaving it to someone else.''

I shoot up from my chair, turning my palms outwards towards her to stop her from moving. Goddamn it. She knows just how to push my buttons.

"Fine! FINE!'' I give in and Carmen's smile is beaming at her own triumph, "I'll fucking DD!''

((Kate Moennig's gonna be on a new show that is also on Showtime? FUCK YES!))