Well here we are... I've updated really early, to please the lovely DissectingPomegranates (Great name) but it's quite hot off the print so i'm sorry in advance for the more-than-normal shoddiness... Enjoy!
When Bond woke the next morning it was early, as least an hour before his alarm was to go off.
He felt the soft, warm body of M against his side, curled in closely to him for both heat and protection.
He was also, painfully hard. They had let go of each other's hands during the night and her small hand was spread wide on his lower abdomen, only the realisation of how close her hand was made the problem even more immediate. He began to untangle himself from the bed quilt and M's embrace; she woke groggily and looked up at him
'Bathroom' he husked and moved a pillow in his place, as he entered the bathroom and pulled on the light, he turned and saw her curled up, smiling against the pillow as she drifted back to sleep, he shut the door and fell against it.
Jesus this was hard, fuck no, this was difficult. How was he to wake each morning with her by his side and not feel like this. He pushed down his boxers and pulled himself free. Moaning as he finally wrapped his fingers tightly around himself.
He fisted his cock quickly, as images of them together at the restaurant flooded his mind. Her musical laugh at his teasing and her the way she looked when she smiled shyly, he remembered how she licked the chocolate from his finger and took his thumb in her mouth. He came hard and bit down to stop from making a noise, his jaw clenched so tight it began to hurt.
After wiping up his mess he looked around, wondering whether to shower and start his day, but the idea of being pressed up beside M was much more inviting. He could deep, calming breathes and ran the cold tap over his hands, splashing his face. He made his way back out to the bedroom and slipped in, removing the pillow as he did.
She moved for him so he wasn't crowded and watched him settle, although he lay his arm out for her she seemed to need invitation.
'I'm cold, get over here' he said happily, watching her move back into him this time lying on her back at a slight angle to Bond.
He didn't quite know where to put his hand, her head was still resting on his shoulder and tilted in his direction, he searched for her hand and took hold of it. She moved it up around her so she was wrapped up in him, and pressed it flat just below her breast. The lay there in a lull, neither fully awake and both basking in the feeling of the other.
'I probably should leave?' she said about 15minutes later, beginning to move. Bond went to stop her, but quickly retracted his hands before actually touching her so she wouldn't worry, she noticed and it made her feel incredibly warm inside.
'Why?' he asked, the unhappiness clear in his voice,
'Because, I need to go home and shower and change my clothes and sort myself out before go to work' she voice was still laced with sleep
'Please stay, just a little longer, tell the car to pick you up from here or at least half an hour later than usual, please?' he soothed his fingers over her side, running them from her hips to the ribs and back down in the most unthreatening way. She had to admit she was tempted.
'I can't, but can I see you tonight?'
He pretended to huff over at her and then sat up so he could kiss her,
'Of course, anything special you wanna do?'
'Umm,' she was nervous again 'would you think it's weird if we just met back here and ordered takeout and watched a movie.'
'No that sounds great' He sounded honest and excited but M still had her doubts
'Is it too domestic for you?'
'No, well maybe usually, but I wanna with you... One change though, I'll cook instead of takeout'
There was a stunned silence
'You cook?!' the surprise in her voice was obvious
'Yeah I cook, I'm actually really good! And anyway you're at work and I'm at home so I Really should do something'
This time she kissed him, more profoundly than he had been.
By the time M got in Moneypenny was already there, and as soon as M got off the elevator she grinned and stood from her desk,
'So how was the date?'
'It wasn't a date, it was dinner, but it was lovely' she tried not to smile but it had spread before she had finished the sentence
'I think it was a date!' she goaded
'And why do you think that?'
'Your outfit last night, you being almost an hour later than usual AND these' she pushed M's office open and pointed to the table, where the boutique Bond got for her was placed.
M opened her mouth to defend herself and then sighed 'Keep this quiet' she pleaded
'Of course... But we should tell Tanner, he can handle all the logistical stuff'
'True, but be discrete' She said moving into the office and over to the flowers, pulling one of the larger roses she turned to her drinks cabinet and pulled out a tall glass, placing it in with some water she walked back out to Eve's desk
'Here' she said placing it the other side of the computer to her phone 'for your support and kindness' she smiled at the delighted expression as Eve looked at the rose.
'Thank you so much!' she said in awe
'You are a kind girl Eve, a brilliant assistant, you will go far, and I'll make sure of it'
'Thank you Ma'am, but I am very happy where I am, at least for the next 12 to 18 months'
'It's worth considering, if you want to discuss it or work out your options, you know when I'm free' she pointed down to the planner on her desk and smiled broadly before disappearing into the office.
Eve pulled out her private mobile and sent a quick message to Tanner
E: Are you free to text?
A few minutes past before her phone buzzed
B: Yeah, you alright?
E: M was late, and she's seeing someone, they sent her flowers!
B: Flowers to the office?
E: They came direct from a restaurant; she must have left directions
B: Do you know who?
E: No, and she says we need to be discrete, I only asked to tell you because of logistics with timetables, do you think we know them?
B: If we do we shouldn't say anything until they do
E: She gave me a flower, and started talking promotion
B: Bloody Hell! Is she ill?
E: No! I think she's happy. I've not seen her like this… Ever!
B: Well at least she's getting some…
E: Bill! That's our boss!
B: Yeah, and she's late ;)
E: Well, I think she's lucky! Nobody sends me flowers!
The day past quickly, Tanner burst into the office around midday
'M, we need to get OO7 back up in the Beacons, the instructor says he needs Bond'.'
'For how long?' M was disappointed but sod it if she was going to say that 'He can't stay up for there while the recruits train, we need him for missions'
'I understand Ma'am' for a dangerous second she genuinely thought he did 'I have explained this, they only need him to sign off the paperwork on the recruits as he was the deciding double-O and then I think he wants Bond to do demonstrations for the recruits.'
'Call him in' M stated calmly, 'we'll see what he says about it'
'Yes Ma'am' Tanner nodded and turned, noticing the flowers Eve had mentioned 'Very pretty Ma'am, he obviously knows how to impress' Tanner nodded again and left quickly.
As soon as Bond received the call he was needed in his heart dropped. He had been so excited to cook M dinner and relax with her on the sofa and hold her tightly again, knowing he wasn't having to send her back but if she sent him off, he would miss out on time he was sure wouldn't be an option for a while. He made his way in and up to her floor; Eve sat happily at her desk and called him over,
'Keep a secret?' she asked eyes glinting
'Of course' He smirked
'M's seeing someone' she whispered and Bond smile grew
'Really, how do you know?'
'He sent her a stunning bouquet of roses and she was late this morning and she is just generally happier… But don't tell anyone' She suddenly turned serious
'I won't, I promise' he laughed and they entered the office together
'Is it really necessary? I mean can't someone else just...?' Bond was whining
'You were the deciding double-O and anyway, OO2, OO3 and OO6 are all on mission and they need someone' Tanner was calmly arguing every point Bond made
'I had plans' He grumbled, feeling it was pointless to argue but putting up a fight anyway
'Don't worry Bond, 3 of the recruits are women, I'm sure you will find things to entertain you' Eve smirked over at him, half-accusing half amused.
'Well if you will keep turning me down then I'm gonna have to start looking elsewhere aren't I' He smirked first at her then winked at Tanner whose was shooting him a death stare, he didn't quite notice M's head snap up, but he noticed when he looked over at her how her eyes quickly diverted away to a spot on the page in front of her.
She hadn't yet said much, internally she was fighting her disappointment but externally she just seemed uninterested. Tanner cut in harshly,
'Bond this isn't negotiable, you need to sign the forms and they need to be done by tomorrow, I wish I could have given you more notice but there you are, you're needed ASAP, drive up now sign the damn things then drive back down to have you fling, as long as she doesn't come to her senses in the meantime, I', sure you'll be fine' Now he was smirking
'Can't I just drive up tomorrow' he mumbled, really fucking disappointed he couldn't spend the night with M, maybe they could eat and watch the film then he would drive up.
'Yes if you want to drive up at ridiculous o'clock in the morning, they need to start training, which means their forms need to be completed, which means you need to be there before the 0630 start, which means leaving here around 0230 to make sure you get there in time'
'Only takes 2ish hours' Bond groaned
'Only if you drive like an idiot, it's close to 200miles away! But then you wouldn't be Bond if you didn't act lik…'
M finally spoke, cutting Tanner off from his rant
'Leave now Bond, have some sense of safety on the roads, they need you alive and not arrested, can easily drive back down, a round trip of perhaps 7 hours, just move your plans' Both sets of lips quirked 'I'm sure they can wait'
'Fine, but she won't be happy' He tried so hard not to laugh, and luckily there was a knock at the door, Eve stood to answer.
'Oh My, M they sent more!' She stepped aside as one of the women on the front desk walked in with a smaller, but exquisite bunch of lilies. She flashed Bond a glamourous smile, which he acknowledged with a nod, before turning to Eve
'Actually they're for you, shall I put them on your desk' she said
Eve gaped and nodded. The tall woman turned and left, winking flirtatiously at Bond.
'Me…' Eve was stunned, 'Ma'am was this you?' She asked staring at M in awed surprise
'I wish it was but no, it's not, you must be popular' M smiled but returned to her paperwork and the others took it as a sign to leave, Bond let the others lead as he tried to catch M's eye but she was absorbed in her work, he hung back until the woman, Helen, he thought she was called, had stepped into the lift.
He discreetly ignored the whispers he heard from Tanner and Moneypenny as he hummed quietly, waiting for the elevator. He did happen to catch 'You didn't need to' and 'You said no one had so I thought' When the elevator arrived he stood onto it and turned to hold it for Tanner, he noticed how close they were, and was sure he saw Tanner release of her hand as he got on the elevator with a small smile he couldn't get rid of.
'Bout time Bill' Bond said when the doors closed,
'I have no idea what you're talking about' He said nonchalantly
'The lillies were a nice choice'
'Her favourite… but I couldn't afford a bouquet as big as yours'
This time Bond stalled
'What d'you mean?'
'I assume you sent M the flowers' He said calmly
'And why do you think that?' Had they been this obvious
'Well I walked into her office just before you went on mission, it was past 10 and well, I thought she'd be gone, she'd called the car away hours before. You two were asleep, now I know M, I've worked with her a long time and I have never seen her allow people as close as you were. I know her personal life is difficult, you figure things out when you work this closely with someone, but she has never told me and I will never ask. I can see you make her happy, particularly these last two weeks. Don't fuck this up!'
They stood in silence for a minute before Bond turned to Tanner, he had million things to say to him but in the end he just offered a handshake,
'I won't Bill… I, I do care, this isn't a… fling'
'Good' He said, shaking Bond's hand firmly and turning back to the doors
Bond was exhausted, the drive up was brilliant, with very little cars on the road he put his foot down and tested the new Jaguar F-Type he'd managed to convince Q to let him drive, and he had managed it in just over two hours. It was the drive back that was horrendous and it took him over an hour just to get through London. To make it worse he hadn't heard from M. He trudged into his flat, deciding a quick shower and coffee was in order before he would go find M. On entering his flat he could smell something incredible cooking in his kitchen, he dropped his bag and walked straight to the kitchen, still in his wet jacket.
M was there, chopping veg as something baked in the over, she noticed him and smiled shyly at him.
'You are so nice to come home too'
'I wanted to surprise you' she looked lovely, wearing a pale beige tunic and bare feet, she looked as at home as he had seen her there.
'You look beautiful' he sounded almost sad with his serenity and she dropped the knife, moving over to him and took hold of his neck, kissing him ardently.
He returned the kiss with the same force, savouring everything he could of her from a kiss. When they broke apart she moved her hand to his cheek, then turned him and helped him out of his jacket, which he slung over his arm.
'Dinner will be about 20minutes, why don't you go shower and change beforehand' she turned and moved back to the counter but stood watching him while he peered around.
'I should have cooked' he said finally, slightly crest-fallen at not having spoilt her,
'I was home first' she said with a shrug
she hadn't realised what she had said, but the fact she had so easily called his flat 'home' made Bond swell with pride and he kissed her a few more times before disappearing to the bathroom.
Once he had showered and changed he moved into the kitchen to see her dishing up pasta bake on to two plates.
'It smell incredible sweetheart' he said, kissing her cheek and moving to the fridge. As M looked over at him he was doing the exact same pose her husband often adopted, but she shook that from her mind, Bond was nothing like Greg and she was beginning to love him for it.
'Would you like wine with dinner? We have the Rioja from the restaurant or a Chardonnay in the fridge?' he looked up at her and they stood in silence just smiling at each other.
'Let's save the Rioja for something different' she said finally, snapping out of her moment and finishing off the plates of food.
Grabbing glasses Bond laid the dining table for them, they ate leisurely and discussed work, Bond ranted about traffic and then told her how the females recruits were whipping the men in all areas. She chuckled and told him of the row she had with the prime minister. As the conversation lulled Bond decided to mention his conversation with Tanner.
'Are you aware that Bill knows?' he said cautiously,
'I asked Moneypenny to inform him I was with someone, after you had the flowers brought to the office' she said, looking up at him to see if it was okay.
'He knows its us, me and you, he... found us sleeping in your office' he trailed off as he waited for her reaction
She looked surprised, then scared, then slightly angry before she shook the whole thing off and went back to her food.
'Well?' Bond prompted
'If it was anyone else I would be concerned, but I like Bill, I trust him and he has always been loyal, it seems right that he knows'
Bond grinned 'He gave me a proper big brother speech in the elevator'
'Did he, what was said?'
'Ohh that you seemed happier recently and that may be due to me and that I shouldn't screw it up'
'I can assure you, you're the reason I'm happy' she smiled over at him 'and you couldn't screw it up, but when you want out, please do talk to me, don't do one of your disappearing tricks' she actually seemed to think it was a possibility.
'I'm not going to do that to you, I'm not going anywhere, I promise'
'You cannot promise that James, I'm old and married, and at some point you will want kids and a comfortable house with someone you can love and be with and it just isn't me'
'Well then it isn't what I want... This is what I want, and if I can only have it when you're free, then I am willing for that to be the case!'
'You deserve so much more'
'But I want you, so whether I deserve more or not I am happy with what I have'
She blushed and they finished their meals,
'This was gorgeous, thank you' he complimented, reaching for her plate as he carried them both into the kitchen.
'I'll wash them in a second' M said as Bond started filling the sink
'You cooked so I'll wash' he smiled back and quickly rinsed out the dishes they had used.
'Would you like dessert?' she asked him from the dining room
'What have we got?'
'I err, made an apple pie, so that would take about half an hour to cook.'
'Have you been here all night?' He grinned happily over at her
'Yeah, I like it here' she shifted on her toes.
'I love you being here, I was just surprised' he pulled the plug and dried his hands
'Why don't we put your pie in and we can get ready for bed, then just chill on the sofa'
'That sounds good' she said and moved to the fridge and took out the round dish she'd made the pie in.
30minutes later they were back in the kitchen, Bond wore jogging pants and a vest and M was in another of Bond's shirts but also a pair of her own black silk night pants as the autumn nights were certainly getting colder.
M was dishing out the pie into their bowls with pouring cream as Bond put away the now dry dishes from before. For Bond the quiet familiarity of it made him very happy and he liked seeing M in this light.
He grabbed his bowl and followed her out into the living room where Bond's newly bought TV hung against the bare wall.
'I don't have any films so I rented some' he admitted, showing her the small selection
'The 39 steps seems appropriate'
Bond chuckled and placed it in the machine, he moved back onto the sofa and they sat close as they ate their dessert. He continued to compliment her and the food, it was something she couldn't quite get used to, each time he turned to her she expected something negative.
They both finished and placed their bowls on the coffee table, Bond slung his arm over M's shoulder and she leant into him enjoying how he immediately began drawing shapes across her arm. They had small conversations about how the film and shared simple but meaningful kisses. As the film finished M roused herself from the near slumber she fell into, Bond was warm and supportive, the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed created a sense of tranquility along with the gentle and loving way in which his fingers caressed and stroked her skin.
They didn't speak as they stood and headed to the bedroom, Bond disappearing quickly into the bathroom. M opened her top drawer and pulled out the Arnica cream she'd been given, it had worked wonders on her skin. Heading into the bathroom once Bond came out she quickly applied it and brushed her teeth and hair. As she headed back into the bedroom Bond approached and kissed her, not as tenderly as they had been sharing that evening but exciting and romantic.
'What was that for?' She asked breathlessly as they broke apart,
'I have a favour to ask' He said, a note of sadness in his voice that worried her more than anger
'Yes?'
'Let me see beneath the shirt, let me see what your ashamed of' His whisper was warm and caring but she pulled back from him
'James… I'
'What are you scared of?' He cut her off
'You will not like what you see, I feel like you still see me as this pillar of strength, the way I can be at work, but I'm human and I'm not perfect, far from it and I don't want to see the disappointment or the disgust' She turned from him to leave the room but he stepped up and rested his hand on her hip.
'I could never be… please, just let me see' He was whispering over her shoulder and she turned to face him, to see the honesty she needed.
'Okay' she mumbled and he kissed her, walking slowly over to the bed he sat down.
'Come up here and make yourself comfortable'
She let go of some of her fear and climbed onto the bed, lying in the centre and reaching for Bonds hand, squeezing it tightly. He kissed her again, leaning over from the side so he wouldn't hurt or frighten her. After a few minutes of languid kissing his hand that had been playing in her hair began to slowly move down to the collar of her shirt, he broke the kiss
'Are you ok?' he asked as he found the first button.
She nodded and he began to slowly undo them, by the third he could see all of her breast and bent his head to kiss them with small butterfly touches. He was enjoying himself when he felt her free hand tap his shoulder.
'I'm too distracted to appreciate that James'
'I wanna help you relax'
'It's kind of you but, please just make it quick so we can move on' there was fear and regret in her voice but her eyes were dry
He squeezed her hand and began to move lower, undoing the next few buttons until the shirt was completely open. Her skin was scarred; the sins from where she had carried her children were faint but noticeable. He ran his finger along the Caesarian scar,
'Which was this with?' he asked softly, planting faint kisses along it
'Martin. He was ill, we thought we may lose him'
He breathed in a sympathetic sigh and moved the shirt further out showing her sides. He noticed a burn mark just below the right side of her ribs, he bent his head to it and kissed it slowly but did not question it, moving on to the smaller scars and blemishes she was ashamed for him to see, some clearly more intentional than others.
As he moved back up her body he kissed a winding pattern until he reached her lips,
'You are beautiful Grace, I don't know what you are ashamed of' he kissed her neck, still holding her hand.
'James, wait' she whispered and he looked up at her 'stand up' she said to him, pushing him from the bed
'Are you alright?'
'I need to show you... Please don't be angry'
She slowly removed her arm from the sleeve but clutched it to her and rolled over into her front. He could see faint bruises on her arm where Greg must have grabbed her.
She gently began to remove the shirt from the other arm and slid it down her back, Bond saw what she was hiding. The almost entire centre of her back was bruised, running right along her spine. Bond couldn't move, couldn't even speak. His body was physically frozen in anger and disgust.
'What the fuck did he hit you with?'
'Nothing, he umm…'
She turned her face from where she had hidden it within the pillows and looked at him, her bottom lip wobbled slightly,
'He had me against the door frame' she swallowed 'One of his going away treats' she laughed bitterly.
'I fucking hate him'
She only nodded calmly,
'M, you need to stop this, this is… So fucking wrong' Bond began to move away and M clutched to the pillow as she turned to watch him, he looked as though he was about to be sick, pacing around, looking at the floor.
'Is there anything I can do for it?' His voice was calm and controlled when he spoke. He was treating her differently, and it upset her.
'In the bathroom there's a tube of cream, it's Arnica, would you..?' he had already left the room to fetch it.
She buried her face in the pillow and took a deep breath, fighting back tears. After all they had become, all the feelings had allowed herself to feel for him, as soon as he saw the bruises he called her M again, she knew it would happen, that he would realise exactly how unappealing she really was, she thought she had prepared for it but it didn't make the disappointment and pain any less.
He approached carefully, lying by her side and taking her hand, gently kissing the base of her neck he placed kisses down the spine, wishing he could sooth the pain. She lay still and silent, trying to feel reassured but finding it hard to release the emotion she felt.
He began to apply the cream, she winced when he touched her neck and he stopped, squeezing her hand to check she was okay. She squeezed back and he very careful began to apply the cream again. He moved further down and applied the cream to the base of her spine, it seemed to be more painful and she squirmed uncomfortably. He looked more closely; he could see a number of splinters. He moved again from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom, he was so anger he didn't feel he could speak, Greg was a sick bastard and he wasn't sure how long he could go without doing something more permanent.
He found the medical kit and pulled out the tweezers, moving back into the bedroom with a small piece of folded tissue he lay back down, this time he kissed her shoulder blade and whispered
'I'm sorry if this hurts, tell me, straight away and I'll stop'
He then moved back down and began to remove the splinters from her lower back. It took 15 minutes or so and by the time he was sure there were no more he had removed 26 from under her skin. She had lay in silence and stared off into space as he did it. Once he was finished he got up of the bed and past her shirt, before clearing everything away and moving back to the side of the bed.
The silence was unbearable.
'Bond…'
'Grace…'
They said at the same time, and in that moment all the tension was released. Bond fell onto the bed and M sat up so they could kiss each other properly for several minutes
'You called me Bond?' He stood moved over to the bathroom to switch the light off 'Why?'
'You called me M I wondered if you wanted to return to the return to normal' She lay down slowly and pulled at the covers around her, Bond followed suit, pulling off his jogging trousers, leaving him in the vest and boxers.
'I don't want us to go back to before, I want you here, but I want you here all of the time.' he stared at her and she shook her head, telling him not to try that argument tonight.
Instead he beckoned her into him and cuddled her close to his side. She looked up to into his face and rolled more into him so she could kiss him
'I love you Grace' he said again against her lips and kissed her, she felt the warmth in his voice and body flow through into hers, she felt tears in her eyes but she couldn't remember feeling so adored and cherished, and she felt the same about him, she couldn't remember feeling like this about anyone before
'I think… I love you, James' She said quietly, letting one of the fat, salty tears fall down her cheek and land on his chest
'It makes you cry' he asked, wiping the tear-trail away with the pad of his thumb,
'It isn't that, it's been such a long time since I've said it and actually meant it'
'You are the only one I've said it too'
She looked him straight in the eye and cupped his cheek.
'I do love you James' she said without any hesitation
They kissed several more times before lying back down to sleep in the arms of someone they loved.
So give feedback as always and just to let you know, next chapter we have some new OC's in the mix :)
