Chapter 7
One Sided Conversations with Tombstones
A/N: Seventh chapter of the series. I'll try to post a chapter every week or sooner. Lost many readers on previous stories because of not uploading chapters soon enough, so I'll try to keep a regular schedule on this story. I know I've been repeating the names of chapters from other used in previous stories. Don't have an actual explanation. Guess I can't always come up with original names for all.
Disclaimer: Property of Joss Whedon and all parties responsible for airing the shows. Other original characters are mine, and some others will be explained as the story goes on.
Feedback: Sure, if you wish.
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London, England
The Pantheon
November 2017
"It's been a while."
Buffy stood alone in the furthest corner of the Pantheon. She'd served breakfast to Annie and Connor and excused herself. She'd been in the middle of a hot shower when she decided she'd been away far too long.
She'd parked her car in her private spot back at the Council's garage, worked for an hour or so and gladly indulged herself with huge amounts of coffee. She'd slowly walked down the stairs, out of the building and the four blocks to the Pantheon.
She had walked into the Magic Box, named after the old store back in Sunnydale, where employees greeted her. She'd asked to be left alone while in the Pantheon; no one was allowed to lay foot there while she was there.
No one.
The employees nodded and went by their business.
Buffy had taken the usual tour. Brought flowers to her mother's grave, prayed and talked to her for a while. She'd gone one to pay her respects to everyone else around, even taking time to visit the beautiful bush Giles had procured in memory of Jenny Calendar.
After she was certain everyone had been remembered, she headed to the south end of the Pantheon, far away.
There, a dark tombstone stood alone. Made entirely of black marble, the small block had no engravings and weed had grown around it. Buffy frowned as she realized no one paid attention to the site. She knelt and began pulling off the weeds, not caring if she ruined her clothes, or if she got soiled with mud. She patiently pulled out every offending weed.
'So long.' She thought. 'I'm sorry, so sorry.'
No one had asked, twelve years ago, about the dark tombstone with no name. No one had dared to question her when she asked for a private moment and spent all night inside the Pantheon.
She still could remember.
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London, England
The Pantheon
March 2005
Those who knew Buffy Summers developed a sixth sense regarding her ever changing mood.
The slayer had requested a moment for herself, and everyone had respected her wishes and had disappeared, leaving her alone with the black marble and her daughter.
Buffy had ignored them all, and had only asked Dawn if she wanted to tag along. Her young sister had frowned and questioned her motives, but Buffy replied she'd explain later.
Dawn had agreed, and the two sisters and a baby had entered the Pantheon as night fell.
The freshly installed fountain with the warrior angel watched over them as they prayed in front of their mother's grave, paid their respects to every other individual buried and walked away, Dawn following her and baby Annie in her arms.
Dawn had stared questioningly at her sister all the time, and Buffy realized her sister needed to know certain things.
"You once complained about us not treating you as an adult." Buffy began. "I apologize. We merely wanted to spare you the things we feared ourselves. It was never meant as a way to keep you out, or to cut you off from us."
"Kinda figured that out." Dawn replied.
"You are no longer fifteen." Buffy continued. "You are already eighteen, and I guess I can confide in you."
"What about?" Dawn asked. Buffy shook her head.
"Not yet." The slayer replied. "We're waiting for someone else."
"Who?" Dawn asked. "You didn't want anyone to come."
Buffy only smiled in response. Dawn was about to ask again when someone quietly stood next to her.
"Holy shit!" Dawn cried. Buffy nudged her and greeted Cordelia. The angel nodded.
"Don't do that again!" Dawn said, her hands over her chest. "You scared the crap out of me!"
Cordelia did not answer, her eyes lost in the distance. Buffy took a step closer to the angel and looked at the object she was clutching between her hands.
"Is it…?" The slayer asked. Cordelia slowly revealed a small box, hidden previously between her hands.
"Yes." The angel whispered. "Still, you know…"
Buffy nodded, which merely increased Dawn's confusion.
"Ok, Buffy, you were saying…?" Dawn asked, waiting for an explanation. Buffy didn't answer, and balancing the weight of her child to her left arm, she reached out with her right hand and took the small wooden box out of Cordelia's hands.
She looked at it, sighed and handed it to Dawn.
The young girl stared at it and didn't know what to do with it.
"Open it." Cordelia said. Dawn did as asked and discovered the contents of the box. She saw a silver ring inside, and nothing more. She narrowed her eyes and carefully picked it up for a closer inspection. Buffy nearly gasped.
"I've seen this ring before." Dawn said and then turned her head towards Buffy. "It's yours, isn't it?"
Buffy merely walked away, and Dawn turned to look at Cordelia. "Could someone explain?"
"I…" Buffy tried to continue, but only felt a lump on her throat. She held Annie closer to her chest, the baby fast asleep.
"The ring holds many memories, Dawnie." Cordelia spoke. "I don't know if I should be the one to tell, but we're here to pay our respects."
"Back in Sunnydale," Buffy suddenly spoke, "when I was… gone, the others brought me back. That much you know."
Buffy didn't look at her sister as she spoke.
"I didn't know how to live." She continued. "There were no reasons. Do… do you remember when we sang? What I sang?"
"Yes." Dawn replied.
"And do you remember what Spike sung?"
Dawn's features hardened, and she crossed her arms.
"What does he have to do with this?" She asked, her voice harsh. Cordelia softly touched Dawn's shoulder, and all the anger and resentment the child had felt disappeared.
"Hey, how did you…?"
"I found refuge in him." Buffy spoke, interrupting Dawn's question. "Do you remember what he said? 'You have to keep on living, so one of us is living.'"
The three women stood in silence, the wind picking up around them, as if it felt their emotions.
"He helped me, Dawnie." Buffy continued. "He really did. But soon things went downhill and we both hurt each other so much. There was so much pain, Dawnie. So much sorrow."
"Yeah, and he hauled ass after he cheated on you with Anya." Dawn replied, feeling the anger coming back. "Then he showed up and he threatened you and wanted to take me for a test drive."
Buffy cringed.
"That's what Angel and Xander told you, Dawnie." Buffy said. "And I allowed them to fill your head with lies."
Dawn uncrossed her arms and the look of confusion returned.
"So you once again kept the truth to yourself." She said.
"I just didn't know how you would react." Buffy replied, not knowing what else to say. Cordelia looked at both sisters, and decided it was time for her to act.
"I do believe you need to see for yourself." The angel said, as she placed her hand over Dawn's forehead.
"What are you gonna…?"
But the words didn't come.
Buffy noticed how Dawn's pupils dilated and stood there, motionless. The slayer knew what was happening, having already experienced Cordelia's 'out of body' experiences. She cringed inside, knowing it wasn't fair, but if someone needed to know the truth, it was Dawn.
She'd had a close bond with Spike, shattered when the gang had brought Buffy back from the dead. All that summer, Spike had been babysitting Dawn, but the moment Buffy had been brought back, Spike had been demoted back to fifth class citizen.
They'd just completely shut him out, even after he'd been the only friend the young girl had.
Minutes went by and Cordelia took her hand off Dawn's forehead. Buffy saw how the young girl's pupils slowly turned back to normal, and the blue eyes soon filled with tears.
"Why?" The girl asked.
Buffy had no answer, and the look of betrayal on her sister's eyes was driving a dagger into her heart.
"That's Spike." Buffy said, her voice breaking. "He just had to go all the way."
"I'm sorry." Cordelia said. "I'm truly sorry, but you had to see it. You needed to know what happened. He deserved it."
"His ashes." Dawn said. Cordelia and Buffy looked away. When receiving no answer, Dawn decided not to press the issue.
"This is all we have." Buffy said. "I do believe he earned his place here."
Dawn and Cordelia nodded.
"I don't want anyone else to know." She continued. "They wouldn't understand. They never tried, especially regarding Spike. I don't want them defiling this small honor. The only honor I can give him."
The three women and the baby decided to place the small tombstone on the south end of the Pantheon, on a still undisturbed patch of green grass.
"Here?" Dawn asked. "Shouldn't he…?" She motioned to where the angel stood, several feet away.
"I don't anyone trying to get him out." Buffy said, carefully handing her baby to Cordelia. "He deserves his own place, where no one will question his right to stay here."
Leaning next to the wall, a small shovel stood. Buffy took the item and jammed it into the grass, taking only a small patch of it and dirt away. She held her hand out to Dawn, who still had the box between her own hands. Dawn placed the ring back inside and tears once again threatened to spill out.
"So much love." She whispered. She closed the box and gave it back to Buffy. The slayer took it and with respect, she placed it in the ground. She slowly covered the box with dirt and placed back the patch of grass. Reaching out, she took the marble and, with all her strength, jammed it next to the improvised grave.
Dawn helped her up and stared at the tombstone.
"It feels so cold." Dawn said. "So impersonal. He deserved something more."
"We know." Cordelia said. "This is what we can give him."
The three women and a baby stood, looking down at the simple grave, almost an insult to how full of life the vampire had been.
"He was my friend." Dawn spoke, not knowing why, simply feeling something had to be said. "He took care of me. He talked to me and listened when no one else did. He didn't treat me like a spoiled child and didn't ignore me when he didn't know what to say. He showed me loyalty. He was my strength for a hundred and forty seven days of hell. He was my only friend. He loved me."
She couldn't hold back the tears and some of them rolled down her face. She knelt down in front of the black marble and cried openly.
Cordelia softly caressed the tombstone.
"Why black?" She softly asked. Buffy stood next to her and also touched the tombstone.
"Would he want it in any other color?" She replied. "Can you imagine Spike wearing something other than black?"
Cordelia shook her head.
The three women and a baby spent the rest of the night talking about their private memories of the fallen vampire, alone within the Pantheon, a place designed for heroes fallen while fighting for the world.
A place designed for heroes who placed others before themselves.
A place for those who'd helped the slayer make the world a better place.
The Pantheon was a place where even a soulless vampire had three women and a baby praying for him.
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The Pantheon
November 2017
Buffy opened the bag she'd been carrying and took out a beer, a pack of cigarettes and a small Tupper ware.
"I never knew what kind of beer you liked." Buffy said. "Or what brand of cigarettes you smoked. Me? I favor Marlboro lights. They don't pack that much wallop."
Buffy sat next to the dark tombstone, already showing the effects of weather, after twelve years. Free of weeds, Buffy could clearly see the tiny cracks already showing on the once smooth surface. She opened the Guinness beer and took a deep gulp.
"So much to tell. Where should I begin?" Buffy scratched her head, a smile on her face. "Oh, yeah. Manchester U. won, and is… six, yeah, six points ahead of the closest team. Annie clocked a kid named Danny Glick and broke his nose. Angel is still being a ponce and is now an alcoholic. I swear, if I'd known how he'd turn to be as a human, I sure as hell would have stopped you from wishing him to become one."
She took another sip of the beer and poured the rest on top of the grass. She opened the pack of cigarettes, took one out and lit it up. She took a deep breath and enjoyed the strange figures the smoke made upon releasing it from her lungs.
"I sure as hell miss you sometimes." She continued. "It's refreshing to come here, because I can bitch about life. It was the same as when you were alive, but I miss your snarky comebacks, or those deep insights you had."
Buffy sat in silence for a while, smoking her cigarette and her eyes closed, and almost feeling Spike sitting next to her. She soon finished her cigarette and turned it off against the sole of her boot. She dug out a bit of earth next to the tombstone and buried the butt in there.
"I know you'd hate a light cigarette, but it's all I can take." She blew a kiss at the ground as she stood up. "I'll be back sometime next week. Still need to complain about the newest fight looming in the horizon. Plus, there's still nineteen cigarettes left in this package."
She opened the Tupper ware to reveal its contents.
"Spicy buffalo wings. Your favorite." She closed the container again. "Can't leave one of these in here. Don't want any rats or strange animals feasting on it."
She brushed off her clothes and placed the empty bottle, the pack of cigarettes and her junk food back inside her bag.
"See you next time, Spike, ol' pal." She took a few steps away and then looked back, a smile on her face. "These greasy things?" She said, her smile growing.
"They're Annie's favorite as well."
End of Chapter.
