Chapter 8
' Wampas are Dancing on My Head'
A few hours later Han returns to 'The Bunny Hutt' to retrieve Luke. He is shocked by what he finds. Luke's face and neck is covered with lipstick smudges. Luke is smiling blissfully. Han is horrified.
"Oh no. What have they done to you?"
"He's fine. He had a good time. Look at that face!. Luke, you're the man!" Lando looks over at Luke Like a proud father.
Han is almost horrified.
"He looks traumatized! Luke, what happened?"
Luke looks straight through Han as Han slowly waves a hand across his face. "Bahbahababa—"
Han points to the boy and shouts in protest, "Lando, this is Not fine!"
"The girls went a little wild but, I promise, after a good night's sleep, he'll be good as new."
Gee, thanks a lot! By the way, I'll need a "real" bar exam for his father to see before we get caught."
"Alright. I'll talk to some people in the senate. I helped out a few who owe me some favors after they were caught in a compromising situation back on Balmorra. I'll let you know. I should have a document for his daddy by the time the next round of exams is given."
Han lets out a heavy sigh. He looks back at Lando
"Thanks. Come on, Luke. I'm taking you home."
Han flips Luke over his shoulder. The two board the Falcon. Chewie greets them and mans the controls while Han forces jawa juice into Luke. Luke falls asleep in a fetal position muttering the name of one of the strippers he met that night.
Next day in the late afternoon Luke has a hangover big enough to knock out a wampa. Han sits across from him. Luke squints then grabs the ice pack Han gives to him.
"You tied one on last night"
"Oww. Oh, hi."
"Hi, "stud"
"Did I have fun last night?"
"A blast. You don't need to do this again for a few years."
"It doesn't feel like it. So, how was the meeting with Dad?"
"Oh, you remember that. Well, let's see… Interesting and shocking are the words that come to mind."
"See, my dad's not a bad guy."
"Oh, he's a real saint. Luke, You ever play Corellian hand ball?"
"No, why?"
"Just curious. Your father is great at it. He really enjoys the game. You should learn to play. I'll even teach you. Then you can play your ol' man."
"But he has breathing problems. I couldn't."
"I think he would like the competition."
"Where are we headed?"
"Oh, I'm dropping you off on Coruscant. You're going home."
"Does Leia know where we went?"
"Let's correct that right now. "We" didn't go anywhere. "YOU went to a strip club. I will sand up for you on anything else but not this. The only thing scarier than your father is your sister Leia. I am not ready to get into it with her today. I'm dropping you off at the door then I'm flying off to….."
Luke tries to sit up pointing an accusing finger at Han.
"You're going to Tatooine! You promised to take me with you next time you were heading that way."
"You know, Luke, I wish you wouldn't read my mind like that. It creeps me out. Anyway, you're in no condition to travel. You can borrow one of your Dad's ships."
Luke nods his head 'NO." "Han, I'm grounded for two weeks. You know that. I can't even have my air speeder to cruise around Coruscant."
His rant is interrupted by a wrenching pain in Luke's head.
"Ouch. Oh, man. My teeth feel as if they're moving in my head. Like wampas marching in the desert."
Luke holds his head as if it's about to fall off. He moans. Han looks at this pitiful sight across from him.
"Well, it just proves you need to keep your little Jedi butt at home in bed."
"My teeth."
"Stop talking before I solve the problem for you myself. I don't need you whining all the way to Coruscant. I've got enough on my mind. I don't need 'Her Royal Pissed-offness' yelling at me."
Han mimics a yelling angry Leia as he imagines himself explaining Luke's condition. Han is whimpering quietly in the lounge area of the ship, "My teeth."
Han rubs his head as he ponders an excuse or an easy way to drop off Luke without having to deal with Leia.
To be continued….. 'Door to Door Delivery: One Baby Boga'
