A WRONG TURN

The guy clearly had made a wrong turn. He probably didn't see the carnivorous horses as we did. He pulled out a cell phone and started saying,

"Quit acting like a big baby dad, I can do it by myself. No, I don't need your help, that's the whole point of doing things by myself! Right, of course right! Bye, oh and uh, ask mom to make me a peanut butter sandwich while you're at it!" He hung up.

At first I thought he was a big momma's boy, a softy. He walked over, and said,

"Do you know where the highway is?" He said using his finger to pick out some earwax. At this point I was thinking of him as a person with bad, habits.

"No, I don't. Who are you?"

"You're funny. What are you a momma's girl?" He laughed with his own little joke, and then realized his cool was gone. "I'm Hermes, God of Thieves, Travelers, I'm my dad's mail boy. Go ahead, call me boy."

You could say that again! He's his daddy's favorite sun, his cutie patutie! Said a female voice coming from the phone.

Pampered to the bone, is what I say! Do you have a rat by chance? A male voice asked.

"What did I tell you two about interrupting my conversations?"

You said if we did, you out us on vibrate. George, I do not intend on spending the whole time on vibrate.

"Sorry about these two. George, and Martha. Martha is the miss goodie too shoes, and George is crabby."

"Like, George and Martha Washington?" I said puzzled. I tried to walk away, and then he said,

"Hold, you are a criminal! But you're a thief, so I like you. Keep it up! By the way, you should steel Zeus' lightening bolt. I've heard it's an easy shot. Oh, and go get Apollo's Lyre, I'm better at playing it than him. Did you know I was almost the God of music?"

Yes, we hear it all the time!

I want a rat!

"Be quiet!" Hermes continued, and then said; "You do know that Zeus wants you dead? I suggest that you get Percy on your side. He's a pro at pissing off Zeus. Oh, and uh, since this isn't an official quest, can I come?"

"If you'll shut up! Remember that _ will kill me if I don't get the lyre?"

"Okay, forward March."

"Other way!"