I made this after the Rick and Morty episode came out. I stumbled upon this just now and thought that maybe one or two people would get a laugh from this. Due to personal life and schedule, I don't plan to seriously get back into writing for a long time (except for maybe a one-shot or two). I also am strongly considering getting a new account, since I look back my stories and reviews and see them as cringy lol.
I know I have a few people who liked this and other work, so I won't delete this account. But if you want an update on when I get a new account or something, you're welcome to PM me (though my responses might be inconsistent considering how things been).
The Mulan Dipping sauce, the sweet, teriyaki dipping sauce.
...it's all that ever mattered.
Hatred? Vengeance? The Kurta Clan? Family? Friends?
Fuck that, McDonalds had that sweet dipping sauce for that short period in the late 90's. Me and my dear friend, Pario, loved Disney. Yeah, all the neighborhood kids harassed us, but we just responded by throwing rocks at them and it usually worked.
Usually.
Anyway, yeah, something about that sauce. It was just...so, damn good.
And then the Phantom troupe showed up, and took it all away for themselves. They ate to their hearts content, without sharing the world a single drop of it. They've beaten, scorched, tortured, raped, and murdered those who gotten in the way...including my entire tribe.
We the Kurtas, you see, we were a proud people. We didn't enjoy many things from the "outside world", but this dipping sauce was a damn exception. There was even a McDonalds that opened up near us just for the purpose of that sweet, sweet dipping sauce that I have lavished over several times in this journey entry, and millions of times in my consciousness.
There was a man, we really didn't get a name, but it was some sort of, how should I put this?
A "Morty".
After all this time, I think this was some sort of trap so he could pillage our eyes for the massacre that haunts me to this very day.
This, man-thing, he introduced us to it, and once our Village Elders taste tested it, the rest was history.
It was a rave, a must-have, something that you had to try in order to stay ahead of the curve. If you didn't try this sauce, you were a social outcast. And for the time being, there was not a single social outcast in the Kurta tribe; not one.
Looking back, I can't ever recall a happier time period in my life. People of all generations, trades, and backgrounds came together for it, and were more united than ever. Plus, our economy benefitted greatly. The McDonald's that were there merged with our government, and it was financial utopia.
Ubiquitous tax breaks for al home owners, free college tuition, insurance, the retirement age dropped from around 60 to around 40 (instead of 401k, there was 401k million for people who retired), no one had to pay a cent for anything except for that amazingly scrumptious, Szechuan dipping sauce that everyone craved for.
It wasn't just an edible treat, it was a symbol for economic prosperity, civil liberty, and a universal sign for peace and happiness for our tribe.
...and then, me and Pario stumbled upon a wonderer named Shelia. She was an exceptional human being, with some very amiable qualities. Athletic, knowledgeable, smart, funny, you know, if I was 18 and Pario was there, I would have you know - let's just say that there would be a couple of more Kurta's left in the world right now if you know what I'm saying.
Anyway, Sheila then introduced us to "D-Hunter" and educated us on the importance of a healthy diet and keeping the body as well as the mind healthy.
After reading the book, becoming in shape, and growing out facial hair, me and Pario just turned to eachother and were like "lol, let's get the fuck outta here and adventure and shit."
Of course, Pario was a dumb-shit who decided to stay home and get fucking rekt with all the other Kurtas, but I guess this brings me to where I am today. Just some guy trying to kill the phantom troupe for any other reason to have that dipping sauce, I just use the whole "revenge" crap as a cover up so that no one else can catch on to what I'm doing.
