Hey everyone. Well first of all I want to thank each and everyone of you for you fabulous reviews! I even got a few while I was on vacation (always a nice thing to come home to) Anyway, sorry this chapter took so long to post (because it did, it really did) I don't know what's up, but I'm having a major case of the Lazy's lately, so I apologize if this wasn't proofed 100.

This isn't my best chapter, but its not my worst either so…lol, ENJOY!

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Chapter Eight

October 3, 1912

Harry-

My breathing was erratic, my body was covered in perspiration, and a heavy brick of fear was lodged tightly in my throat. Next to me, Sarah slept soundly, unaware and undisturbed by the nightmare that had forced me awake, and I envied her. I turned from the image of her calm slumber and sat up in the bed, resting against the pillows that stuck hot and damp to my back.

It had been weeks, months probably, since I had had such a nightmare, so long in fact that I thought myself rid of them. I couldn't put my finger on which was worse, the one where Rose's secret haunted me or the one pertaining to Titanic, where the screams and sights were refreshed over and over again in my mind. I said nothing of the dreams to Sarah and I knew she hadn't noticed, it wasn't like her to keep quiet when she knew that something was amiss with me, though I knew for a fact that she experienced the same thing. Several times her nightmares had awoken me and she would lie in my arms sobbing until the fear left her. I half wished I could do the same. A good long cry would probably do me a world of good, but I hadn't done it and I probably wouldn't. Leave it to me to let a little thing like my masculinity get in the way of ridding myself of half the stress that I lived with daily.

Sarah sighed and turned over in the bed so that she was now on her side facing me, her ever-expanding stomach clearly visible through her nightgown, it and Sarah being the only light in my lives at the moment.

She had felt the baby move for the first time only a month ago and ever since then it seemed to have taken over both her body and our lives. Everyday she seemed bigger to me and everyday she was doing something new to prepare for its arrival. It was actually amusing, watching her move around the house, her stomach sticking out in front of her so far that she could hardly see the ground directly beneath her. It amazed me that she had grown so. Sylvia was due to give birth any day now and she wasn't nearly as large as Sarah. It was a matter I had been proud of; my child was obviously prospering and quite healthy.

I reached over and lay my hand on her middle and to my surprise thought I felt the baby move. Of course, I could have imagined it, but it was nice to think that I had. I had felt it move a number of times and each time it always left me excited, momentarily forgetting about everything wrong in my life. My father, though still not happy with the situation, had been civil to both Sarah and I since that night in July. We had even gone to visit last month, for my parent's anniversary, and Sarah was finally able to meet my sisters and brothers and their families of course. They had all loved her, thankfully. My two nieces Elin and Mabli took an exceptional interest in her though. Ada, their mother and my oldest sister, had told me with an amused smile that they saw her as princess. They were four and three respectively and watching them follow Sarah around my parent's house with a look of awe on their faces was quite humorous.

Yes, life had been damn near perfect for the last few months, which should have tipped me off right away that something was coming. That something turned out to be orders for me to report to the RMS Medic on October 6, 1912. The ship was bound for Australia and I would be gone for 6 weeks. Of the two of us, I think I was the one who was more upset. Sarah was understanding about it and in her most optimistic voice, told me that it wasn't all bad. I would be back in time for my birthday and well before the baby was to be born. I was due to leave on the afternoon train and had done all of my packing that night before we had gone to bed. Now here I was, wide awake in the middle of the night, sleep the farthest thought from my mind when it should have been the first.

"Harry, are you awake?" she suddenly asked in the darkness, the sound of her yawning through her words, noticeable. I watched her move in the darkness, quite ungracefully, trying to make herself more comfortable.

"Did I wake you?" I asked after murmuring my answer.

"No, our little one did. I swear, if it kicks any harder, it will go right through me."

"It won't be too much longer now." I told her and she nodded. I opened my arms for her and moved into them, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Yes, before I know it, it will be tears that wake me up in the middle of the night instead of hard kicks from my middle."

"We could always hire a nanny." I reminded her, but she shook her head quickly.

"No, I am perfectly capable of doing this on my own. Women have been raising children since the beginning of time and there's no reason I can't do the same."

Her words made me smile, momentarily forgetting my reasons for being awake in the first place.

"I'm sure by the time the others come along you will have changed your mind."

She laughed, "Our first isn't even born yet and all ready you're talking about 'others'."

"You're the one who wanted a big family." I teased.

She turned her head towards me and I could see her smile. "Yes, but that was before I realized that the two minutes you sacrificed and the nine months that I do don't quite add up."

"It was hardly two minutes." I reminded her in a low voice, allowing my warm breath to hit her neck. She giggled and nuzzled her cheek against my mouth.

"I guess it was a bit longer." She whispered and I stole the opportunity to press a firm kiss against her willing lips. She then snuggled herself against me and I wrapped my arms around her, breathing in her lilac sent and instantly was calm. She quickly fell back to sleep and I surprised my self by following almost as fast. When I awoke the next morning, she was already out of bed, dressed and ready for the day.

I was due to leave on the afternoon train and put myself to work with some last minute packing after we had eaten breakfast. Sarah found me a short time later and stopped in the doorway, her hands behind her back. Her hair was down and tied to the side, just the way that I liked, and her navy blue and white dress slimmed her otherwise voluptuous figure.

"Do you want me to go to the station with you?"

I stuffed some socks into my bag and shook my head. "No, you should stay here."

She nodded, understanding my reasons. She stood there a few moments longer, her eyes never leaving me. I shut my suitcase, flicking the clasps closed and looked up at her just in time to see her begin to move towards me.

"I have something for you." She said and produced a box that she had been hiding behind her back the whole time. She placed the small box in the palm of my head and gave me an encouraging look to open it. I did, obviously surprised, but even more surprised when I saw what was inside.

"A ring?" I asked.

"It's not just any ring. It's a wedding band." She took it out of the box and held it up. "It occurred to me a few days ago that for the past 5 months I have been the only one walking around with a ring on my finger." I watched as she took my hand and slipped it on the appropriate finger. "So I thought it was high time I rectified that."

"Sarah, you didn't have to do this."

"Yes, I did. I know it might not mean very much to you, but it does to me. You are my husband and I want the whole world to know that."

I looked down at the ring and saw that it was a very simple band, the same metal as Sarah's, and wasn't in anyway obtrusive. Her face was shining when I lifted my head and I couldn't help but smile back.

"I do believe you're on to something there." I replied a grin.

She laughed, "Well, I am glad you think so. Though I do have to admit I did have one, small, miniscule, ulterior motive."

"And what might that have been?"

"To show any seventeen year old first class girls that may have an eye on you, that you're spoken for many times over."

"This is a smart woman that I married."

We both laughed and when it died down, she came into my arms and hugged me fiercely.

"I will miss you so." She said pulling away and I placed a kiss on her cheek and assured her I would feel the same. The tap of my Mrs. Crewe soft fist against the door pulled both our attention away.

"Mrs. Lowe, this just arrived for you." She said holding out a telegram envelope.

"Thank you, Mrs. Crewe." Sarah replied, tearing herself away from me and taking the envelope. She opened it and I saw her eyes go wide with surprise.

"What is it?" I asked, coming around to see for myself.

"It's from Taylor."

The name struck me like a slap across the face, and I rubbed my jaw trying to dull the imaginary pain as I asked, "As in Hockley."

"The very same. He's in Liverpool and would like to come by and see us tomorrow." She lowered the paper and looked at me. "Well, I think it would be lovely to see him. After all he did for us, he deserves a proper thank you, don't you think?

"Oh, dear, you're not going to be here." She suddenly realized. I nodded and she looked at me with disappointment, "Well…" she paused, "I'll be sure to pass on your gratitude."

It wasn't what I wanted to hear. "I'll tell him not to come." Alternatively, even something like "I'll tell him to wait until you return." Would have been better, but the last thing I wanted to do was alert her to the animosity I had towards Taylor. I knew exactly what she would say and frankly, she was right. He had never been a threat to us and it was idiotic of me to think so. Yet even still, I couldn't shake that feeling and I knew I'd just have to suck it in and put on a good front.

"I'm sure you will." I said and sealed the statement with a kiss.

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Sarah-

Harry left for the train station the next afternoon and that night I had a quiet dinner alone and went to bed early. The baby had been kicking and moving all day and had worn me out. Sometimes it felt as if there were four or five of them in there instead of just the one.

I slept well that night and woke up the next morning refreshed and ready for the day. After breakfast, I went upstairs to what was going to be the nursery and tidied up a bit. I know it was premature, but I had already bought a bureau, rocking chair and cradle and set them up in the room. They were all oak and I had polished each of them to a beautiful shine. The room was bright and now with the furniture and the added scent of lemon from the oil I had used, it was perfect for a nursery.

I kept myself busy the rest of the day and had nearly forgotten about Taylor's impending arrival until I heard the doorbell ring. Mrs. Crewe was busy with dinner so I answered the door myself. Taking a breath, I prepared myself for the first physical contact with my former life since my marriage, and then opened the door.

"Hello." He said with a smile surprised to see me at the door and then his eyes fell and I knew the new size of my stomach had caught his attention, "Hel…lo."

I burned crimson and brought my hand up to cover it.

"I apologize, I just…"

"No, it's fine." I said with a shake of my head, "Please, come in." I said opening the door for him and inviting him in. He smiled, nodded, and came into the house, allowing me to shut the autumn air out. "May I take your coat?"

He nodded and removed it, still not taking his eyes off me, even though I could tell he was doing his best to hide his shock.

"I apologize." He said when I had turned around from putting his coat on the rack. "I had heard that you were, but…now I know for sure."

"You heard that I was?" I asked, "From whom?"

"Your brother." He said as I gestured towards the sitting room. "I've seen a lot of him lately and he's done nothing but talk about you." We sat down on the sofa together, "In fact he wanted to come see you himself, but wasn't feeling well. He told me to check in on you while I was here and well," he smiled broadly, "Here I am."

I smiled, "Yes, here you are. I have to say that ever since I got your telegram yesterday I've been looking forward to your visit."

He raised a mocked eyebrow and smiled at me, "I always knew my charm was irresistible even to women locked in matrimony. Speaking of which, where is your husband?"

I explained Harry's absence and he seemed disappointed. "Pity, I was hoping to brighten his day with the latest gossip on my brother. Shall I indulge you and we'll say it's his loss?"

I smiled politely, not sure, if I was willing to discuss Cal, but he went on.

"Of course you heard about his arrest and miraculous escape from punishment?"

"Escape?"

"Well, I guess you didn't. It seems that my father has a lot more friends than I anticipated and Cal received but a slap on the wrist for his actions. Of course a great deal of money was paid and many deals were made to ensure privacy, but your grandfather and brother's dreams of seeing him behind bars are highly improbable at this point."

I shook my head, obviously disappointed and annoyed. "I cannot believe this. I wonder why no one mentioned it to me. I've exchanged dozens of letters with George over the past few months and not once has even mentioned Cal's name."

"Well if you were my sister, I wouldn't have told you either. The last thing we need is you getting sick again…which now that I think about it, makes me an idiot because I did tell you, doesn't it?"

I laughed, appreciating the comic relief. "No," I finally managed to say, "I appreciate that you told me. Though I can't say I'm not disappointed to hear it."

"Well don't think he's gone unpunished about it, behind closed doors at least. My father has seen to it that this kind of thing will never happen again."

"How so?"

"Cal's getting married."

"What?"

He nodded, "To a woman named Sabrina Coolidge, she's from Boston, twenty-five and a widow."

"A widow?"

He nodded, understanding my shock, "With two children."

I paused, not sure what to say next. I never imagined Cal marrying a woman like that; it just didn't seem like him.

"I know what you're thinking, and you're right Cal wouldn't choose a bride like that for himself. My father chose her. She is very wealthy and his eyes practically gleam at the prospect of getting his hands on her fortune. Besides both she and my father know that there is very little chance of her finding another man like my brother so needless to say the deal went off without a hitch."

"This is unbelievable. Rose's death is still so fresh, why would they do this with the risk of people gossiping?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't have the answer to that. Frankly, I have been trying to stay away from it all, all I know is from Virginia. I was staying with her before I came over here and she can't help but get excited by such gossip, even when it pertains to her own family.

"At least you can sleep better at night knowing he's clearly not a threat to you and your marriage anymore. Or your child for that matter."

I put a hand over my stomach, "I wouldn't have let him within a mile of my child." I shook my head. "I can't even begin to think of what I would have done if he had gotten his way. I could have been married to him and carrying Harry's child and lived in hell for the rest of my life."

He shook his head, "No, it would have never worked out that way. For that to have happened you would have still had to look good in my father's eyes and it wouldn't have been Cal he had in mind for you."

I looked at him, nodding as I remembered, "It would have been you."

We both fell silent at the thought, but before I could ponder the idea anymore, he piped up.

"Well, I would have let Harry live in the attic or something."

I burst out laughing and it was contagious, soon he was laughing just as hard as I was. It was strange that a person I hardly knew could make me laugh this way.

"You would not have." I said as soon as I could catch my breath.

"Oh yes I would. Though I'm sure people would have gotten suspicious when they realized all of our children looked nothing like me."

I giggled, "Yes, you do have a point there."

"The one hole in my plan." He added and we laughed more.

I had so much fun with Taylor that I was a bit upset when Mrs. Crewe came in to announce that dinner was ready. I invited him to stay, which he did and we had an even better time at the table. We drank champagne and he even invited Mrs. Crewe to sit with us, something that seemed unusual when you knew what kind of family he came from. After a few glasses, he became quite silly, though not to the point of drunkenness and began to throw, compliments Mrs. Crewe's way that made her blush.

"My dear Lydia, (once he had learned her first name, he couldn't use it enough) your eyes are a blue as the Mediterranean and as deep as the pacific."

"Mr. Hockley." She said, not being able to suppress a giggle.

He took another gulp of the champagne, "No, no, I'm not finish yet." And he took her hand into his own. I watched as this young man in his twenties charmed this older woman, who clearly could have been his mother. "Your skin in like rose petals, soft, and tender to the touch."

She quickly pulled her hand away, her face red with embarrassment and her fit of laughter taking over the room. Taylor watched with a twinkle in his eye as she stood up and began to gather up the dishes. When she had left the room, I spun on him and immediately, despite my own laughter, began to chastise him.

"Look at you indulging her like that."

He shrugged and took a drink, still smiling, "Can I help it if I have a way with the fairer sex."

"Or that you lack modesty?"

"And the answer to both, no, I cannot. So I should use my talent to bring others happiness shouldn't I? Besides, I meant every word. If she were twenty years younger…"

"Taylor!"

He laughed and I shook my head at his audacity. He then stopped his laughter and moved closer to me, still holding on to the twinkle in his eyes "Does she have a daughter?"

I rolled my eyes at him and refused to answer even though I knew very well that she did have three daughters and only two of them were married.

"Keep your secrets!" he said playfully, "But I'll have you know, I am a Hockley and I have a way of finding out these things on my own."

I gave him a smug look. "I'm sure you do."

He mocked my seriousness and then smiled again, "Sarah, you are with out a doubt, one of the most entertaining women I have ever met. I can hardly tell that you grew up in the same place I did. You're not afraid to laugh, I admire that."

I smiled at the compliment. "Thank you, Taylor, but I cannot take all the credit; I do have Harry to thank for that."

He shook his head, "No, even before him, I remember you being this way. Granted I only met you one time before, but I didn't think you to be haughty or snobbish like most of the others."

"Thank you." I replied, smiling again and for a brief moment, his eyes locked on mine, but just as quickly, he turned away.

"Well, I should be going back." He said and rose from the table.

"Where are you staying?" I asked.

He named a hotel in town that I knew to be quite crowded and small. I cringed at the thought of him being there and my concerned host suddenly suggested that he stay here at the house for the rest of his stay in Liverpool.

He shook his head, "No, I don't want to be an inconvenience. I'm here for two weeks. That's quite a long time."

"Taylor, please, we've just proved that we get along well together and my housekeeper is quite smitten with you. Besides I'm having the Lightoller's over later this week for dinner and I'm sure that Herb would like to see you."

He hesitated for a moment, seemingly giving the idea much thought, before he finally turned back to me and agreed. "Only if you promise not to go out of your way to make me feel comfortable. You've got more important things to worry about."

I nodded and grinned, "Agreed."

"All right then."