Chapter Eight
Apparently Joshua thought enough of Manny to take her suggestion.
The following evening he appeared at her front door. Home alone, her roommates in class, Manny opened the door and then stood there, frozen.
The pang that burst suddenly within her heart whenever she saw Joshua, or when he did something particularly beautiful or sentimental, had not gone away. Manny was, in fact, nearly convinced they had become stronger. Seeing him standing at her doorstep made her knees feel suddenly very weak, like limp spaghetti. Her hand tightened on the door knob and, despite the feeling of happiness flooding her face with warmth, the muscle of that armed tensed in case she needed to slam the door in his face.
Neither was the desire to be close to him, the feeling of soaking up his presence like a cat in the sun, strong enough to keep him from placing her free hand on her hip and saying: "So, Professor McGugan decided to take my advice and tell you off?"
Much to the surprise of both of them, her snotty comment made him smile. The fact that his eyes were a brilliant shade of blue divulged that he was as happy to see her as she was to see him.
"Not in so many words," he admitted. "She gave me a stern lecture about what a coward I was for not bringing you the message myself, and how demeaning it was for her to be turned out by one of her own students. She then decided to add in a few comments about the status of my social availability which infuriated me to the point of actually raising my voice.
"Normally, he said, seeing her confused face, "when someone gets me angry, I just slip into their mind and silence them. She actually made me mad enough to forget about telepathy and yell at her. That turned it into a yelling match. Sadly, I forget how used she's become to projecting in lecture halls. I consider myself considerably cowed."
"So does this mean you're here to plant the suggestion in my mind never to give the professor another idea like that again?"
Briefly, his eyes darkened to the smoldering amethyst, but then they returned when he looked away from her face. Manny's comment had upset him. Joshua was disgusted by Manny's opinion of him. She always seemed to think that he intended the worst. He wasn't ready to speak until he had his anger under control, worried that if he spoke before he was ready he was going to use telepathy to bend her to his will. Doing so would only make Manny think she was right and he was a monster.
His respite gave Manny time to speak instead. She glanced up and down the hallway. "You can only enter into this building if you have the key. So how'd you get in?"
Joshua felt a dry chuckle begin in his throat at her question, but held it back at the last moment. He shrugged and pressed past her into the apartment. "You don't need to see someone's eyes to use telepathy, Manny, not if you're strong enough."
She sighed as she shut the door. "And of course you'd be strong enough."
He grinned, revealing sharp white teeth. At the sight of them Manny forgot the conversation she'd had with Poppy, Ash and Lacey. Instead, there was the flooding need to simply give. She felt suddenly very antsy, as if standing on pins and needles which also threaded her pants, making each step itch. If he didn't ask to bite her, she was certain that she would simply fling herself at him, neck bared.
Manny struggled to get control of those emotions, and managed to fight them back down. She could remember the anger sh'ed felt knowing that giving Joshua the security he wanted would come at the cost of her free will, but she could not harness it back. It lingered, just out of touch, as if it had happened years ago and was no more than a touchy subject.
"I've done it before, and practice makes perfect." He turned away from her, smile gone, and looked up and down the apartment appraisingly. He sneered when he saw the blue box full of Pepsi-Colas waiting to be taken out. It smelled disgustingly sweet. "The residences are a good place to feed. I just randomly picked someone, told them I was their friend coming to visit them. They buzzed me in right away."
With a frown, she followed him to her room. She wondered how he knew where she was, but then, he had been in her apartment before. He walked in and stood there for a moment, soaking up the ambience. Manny watched him curiously as he circled the room, now and again touching something gently--a stuffed animal she'd had since she was six, a textbook laying open on her desk, the edge of her bed--with a slowness that bordered on reverence, as if pausing to ponder why it was important to her. Manny was beginning to feel strangely exposed.
"I was wondering if perhaps you'd be so kind as to pack a bag for overnight."
Manny was taken aback. She stared at him. "Pardon?'
"If I were to tell you to simply pack a bag than I would be ordering you around again, wouldn't I? This way I've asked politely. You can always say no."
"Good then. I'm saying no." He narrowed his eyes at her, and she sighed, gesturing to her computer. "I'm currently working on a paper. I need to rewrite it in order to resubmit it on time. I don't have time for whatever it is you have planned."
"In case you havent noticed Manny, you tend to be physically and mentally exhausted after we exchange blood. I thought that this way you could just sleep over. I've made up the spare room for you so that you can have your own bed."
It was sweet, she thought. He really was trying hard to be kind to her. Her expression softened. "I appreciate that, Joshua, I really do, but I have school work that I've been neglecting because of all of this Night World stuff. Can we push it back another night? Is that at all possible?"
He actually looked a little hurt. "Manny, I came here to feed so that I would be satiated when it came to trading blood with you. I don't want to put you in danger by taking too much too often, but it is important to me that we do this." His frowned deepened. "I do actually have a computer at my house, you know. You can work on your essay there until youre ready to bed, and then we can do it."
She sighed. That was a logic with which Manny couldnt argue, particularly if he'd actually made up her room there for her, even if it was annoying and rude that he'd keep pestering her despite her already saying no. She was being given a choice, but it wasn't really real. "And if I keep saying no?"
Joshua smirked faintly. Manny could almost think she was imagining it if she didn't know him so well. His eyes gave him away with their bright blue, because his mouth barely moved when he smiled. 'Then you know I have no problems kidnapping you."
That was true. He had no problems knocking her out and carrying her out the back door. If it was true that vampires had superhuman strength, she imagined that he could get her home that way in as much time as he could drive. Would carrying her up the steep college hill even cause him to break a sweat?
"I'll pack a bag then, I suppose.'
It didn't take her very long to get ready. She packed pajamas, some toiletries, and a spare change of clothes, then left a quick note on Lacey's bedroom door. She winced, thinking that if Beth and Tanya found out she was spending the night at Joshua's they would never stop hounding her. The entire time, Joshua stood at her bookcase, inspecting her collection, now and then offering to help.
She only laughed at him, and made a comment about how he really wanted to snoop.
As the garage led into the kitchen, Manny found herself once again standing in front of the island, feeling at home with the dark wood of the kitchen and the stone work floor. This time, the kitchen was otherwise occupied. Professor Heather McGugan, glasses perched on the end of her nose, was leaning over a large bowl, baking utensils scattered on the island.
She looked up when the door closed and smiled brightly at both of them. With the exception of her librarian-like glasses, she didn't look much like the Professor Manny knew. Wearing lounge pants and a sweater that was dusted lightly with flour and sugar, she nodded to the recipe book.
"I'm making scones. Would you like some when they come out of the oven, Manny?"
She smiled back. "Do Scotsmen eat scones? I thought that was an English thing."
"Och, aye, it is," she laughed, accent breaking out in rough, husky waves. "But I developed a taste for them while I was living in London."
"You lived in London?"
She nodded and began to whisk together the dry ingredients. "Yes, I did my undergrad there. Joshua and I had a small flat near the campus. In those days, let's see, he was pretending to be my younger brother. That was our cover." He grinned at her as he hung up his jacket and took Manny's from her to place it in the closet. "Aye, those were the good days. It became embarassin' to tell people that you were my son to cover up our age when ye used to change my sheets when I had an accident as a bairn, but I didna mind it much when we were sibs."
"Your accent," Manny pointed out bluntly, "is much thicker when youre at home.'
"Aye," she laughed. "Iv'e worked hard to be able t'control it while I'm in the lecture hall. It wouldna help me keep my job much if none'o' the students could understand me due to my burr."
Manny glanced over at Joshua. His eyes were bright blue again, and were gazing at Heather with love. From his expression she knew that he wasn't in love with her (there wasn't the deep, glistening kind of brilliance in his eyes Manny had read the body produced, chemically making your eyes sparkle when one is in love) but he looked at her with adoration and pride. He looked at her that way Manny's father had looked at her when she had graduated from high school.
"I'll be takin Manny t'the study," he told her, with an accent so suddenly thick it was hard for Manny to understand him. "She's wheedlin' away on a paper fer ye."
"Is she now?' Heather winked at the girl in question.
She shifted nervously in the kitchen, knowing that now she had to get her paper done on time. As he continued talking to Heather, Manny struggled to contain the desire to kick him and make him shut up. She had homework to do!
Finally, blissfully, Professor McGugan finished mixing her batter and glanced at the clock. "Oh, Joshua, will ye just go on an take her up to the office? She has work to do, an jabberin' away like a hen wont help to get it done an over wit'. I'll bring up some freshly brewed tea and the scones when the come out o' the oven. Now, git on with ye."
"I'll be right behind you, Joshua." He shrugged and went on ahead. She already knew where the study was, after all, and didn't need to be escorted there. Manny turned to her teacher and sighed. "Professor, I know that talking to you like this is highly unprofessional..."
She grinned, pouring the batter into the pan she was using. "What? I assume you mean talking of schoolwork in my own home over raw scone mix."
Manny nodded. "I was wondering if I might have a few more days for that paper rewrite?" Her heart began to sink when she saw Heather raise her eyebrows, but she pressed on hopefully, keeping her voice strong. "I was nearly done the rewrite on my current thesis, but then, after spending all this time with Joshua, I had an idea for a different thesis, and so I need a little bit more time to do so further research and editing."
"And your new idea is?"
She blushed, though the change in color was scarcely visible on her dark cheeks. She lowered her eyes demurely, gaze affixed in the doorway and praying that Joshua wasnt in range. "You won't tell Joshua, will you?'
"Not a word of it shall pass these lips."
"I'm thinking of concentrating on the portrayal of the Green Knight and exploring his attraction. He's described as being an alien in their midst, different, but only after he reveals himself to be a giant. There's a strange fascination that people in the court seem to feel for him, and I want to discuss why. What is it about those that are different that makes them horrifying, but ultimately attractive?"
Heather pursed her lips, but she seemed pleased with Manny's proposal. 'I will gladly give you more time to write something that ambitious. Besides, since my students who are Night Worlders don't realize that I know of it, this might be my only chance to get to see that aspect of society examined within the context of literature. I can see now why you dont wan't Joshua to know about it. I can see his influence in your proposal."
Manny flushed. "You can?'
"Exploring the underlying attraction of the supernatural? Come now, Manny. He might be my life partner, my father and my brother and my editor, but even I can tell that he's an incredibly good looking." She laughed. "Like sex on a stick."
Another person who said sex on a stick! Manny really needed to understand what this saying meant. Then she thought of Matt Aspen and began to realize what it meant. With those gorgeous eyes and that dimple in his cheek when he smiled, there was nothing on earth cuter than Matt Aspen.
Giving her a brief goodbye, Manny hurried to the study on the third floor. The first floor, she had learned, was the communal area. Both Heather and Joshua spent their time there. The second floor was Heather's bedroom, office, and personal library. It was where she went if she needed a break from Joshua, which, she had pointed out to Manny, happened rather frequently due to how long they'd had to get on each others nerves. Joshua had the third floor to himself, and had used one room as an exercise room. With his vampire skills, he moved as quietly as a cat, and often Heather didn't know there was a third floor in the house.
He was just finishing moving a second chair into the study when Manny walked in. This time she had time to look around his office. A dark wooden desk sat in the corner, stretching from one end of the room to the other, a computer at one end and neat paperwork stacked in the other end. A few paintings adorned the cream-coloured walls, the only source of real color in the room. Both pictures were of mountain scenes, and Manny wondered if it was Scotland portrayed in them. The other two walls of the room were covered in tall bookcases, the very tops of them a wide variety of statues and small pieces of art.
Joshua gestured to the computer desk. "You can use that computer if you want."
"Thanks." Manny slung her book bag down and sat in the chair, turning the computer on. She wasn't aware of Joshua moving while she waited for it to boot up until he sat next to her in front of the large piles of paper. "What are you doing?"
"Just editing. I'm not exactly ready for bed yet."
Manny took another look at the large stack of papers. It had to be at least two and a half inches thick. She couldn't imagine having the patience to be able to tackle something that looked so daunting, but Joshua just clicked a pen and began scribbling away.
"I like the pictures in your room," she commented, trying to make small talk.
"Uh-huh."
Rolling her eyes, Manny returned to her own work. She typed away furiously at the computer, now and again looking up a reference and then typing out a quotation or two. It was actually going fairly well, and she barely noticed when Heather came in with fresh tea and warm scones. Joshua pressed a cup of the warm tea into her hand, which she drank blindly, continuing away on her roll.
When she came to a mental blockade, she stopped typing and slumped in her chair, defeated. Glancing at Joshua, she found him still making notes and sigils on the manuscript with deft, quick hands. He didn't seem tired at all, and worked relentlessly, but at an easy, nearly bored pace.
She spotted a stress ball sitting by the side of the computer, and grinned. How would he react to being hit with a stress ball in the head? Snarling, bullying Joshua might react badly to it. But the smiling, sweet Joshua slowly being revealed to her... She giggled and picked up the ball. He'd probably react badly to it, too. Manny knew she shouldn't do it, but it was just too tempting. He was lost in his own little world and the strange little thump in her heart when she looked at him told her that she should do it.
With barely a glance at him, Manny shot the stress ball. It smacked against the side of his head with a satisfying sound, and then bounced off of him. Manny was a pretty good shot, and shrunk back into the office chair, giggling. She couldn't hear him move, but she knew that he was turning around to look at her, weighing his own options.
"What was that for?'
She shrugged, knowing that he couldn't see it, but guessing that he could hear her clothes moving against the fabric of the chair. "You weren't really talking to me, and I became bored."
"So you thought to hit me with a stress ball?"
Manny glanced around the chair to see him smirking. There was no dimple in his cheek from the half-smile, as she'd noticed there was when Matt Aspen smirked, but it was a little cute nonetheless. He held the stress ball in question in his hand. She had just registered it when he threw it at her gently--but gently for a vampire was still enough for it to hit her enough to wince.
Her jaw dropped. 'I can't believe that you threw it back at me." She scooped the ball back up, rolling it around in her hand and stared at it, knowing she had his attention now. For a moment she felt her anger flare up, but it was still water under the bridge in Joshua's presence. 'So, despite the fact that you can use your presence to influence me, after seeing you and Heather together, I do find myself reconsidering this whole thing..."
"Oh?"
"Well, its just that you seem so happy," she admitted. "I think I might actually be a little bit jealous."
Joshua frowned, but it was mild. "Manny, you should know that what Heather and I have... it's special. Not every relationship I've had with human beings has been like that. In fact, most of the time, it's reminiscent of the feelings you might have for a special pet."
Manny felt her smile vanish as her mouth pulled down into disapproving frown. "Are you trying to tell me that you think of me as your pet?"
She expected some kind of a flirtatious answer--or found herself hoping for one--but she knew that realistically he was going to be offended and logically point of the differences between her and a pet. Instead, he turned away, avoiding her gaze. It was a telltale sign of guilt, and Manny found her heart suddenly sink. Her hand gripped the ball tighter, and this time, she flung the stress ball at him with all the strength she could muster.
"Will you stop that?" he snarled, turning back to look at her.
'I will, but only because now the stress ball is on your side of the room, and I doubt you'd give it back to me so I can throw it at you again.' Manny's left hand groped for something else to throw at him--a pen or pencil or something.
"You little idiot." Manny saw him roll his eyes from the corner of her vision. His voice was still snarling, but yet there was a warmth in the word idiot she had'nt expected. He leaned out of his seat and grabbed the corner of the chair, spinning her around to see him properly, as well as keeping her from grabbing another projectile. "I never said that. I looked guilty because I don't feel that way, but I'm supposed to! I don't understand it. With Heather, feelings of fondness were acceptable because she was a child when I met her, but there's no logic to justify the way I don't hate you the way I'm supposed to."
The sweet part of Manny wanted to suggest that perhaps the reason why was because he was too kind to really be a part of that dark aspect of the Night World shed only heard of from Poppy and Ash. The humorous part of her wanted to tell him that it was because of her cute nature, but she knew that she didn't really have a cute nature. Tanya, she thought, was so cute it would rot a vampire's teeth, but Manny was simply Manny.
"Maybe you're just a bit attracted to me because you know that I hate you, so it could never be reciprocated," she said sharply, and he laughed. She scowled at him, wondering what he found so happy that he'd laugh at her comment.
"Perhaps,' he agreed, and the grip he held on the arms of the chair relaxed. Manny felt herself relax as a result, surprised that she had become so tense as soon as he came close to her. "But I think youre exaggerating when you tell me that you hate me. You know why I killed Ansel--that it was self-defense because he meant to tell the Council about Heather..."
"What's the Council?" Manny interrupted.
"Ah, the Council..." He sat back in his chair and was silent a long moment, stroking the cleft in his chin as he thought. "The Council is our government, our ruling body. They make the rules, and when you break the rules, they try you for it and they administer the punishment. I was a part of the Council for sometime, until I tired of it and turned over my seat to some younger vampire. Two thousand years was long enough on the Council for me."
Manny felt shocked; as if a bucket of ice water had just been dumped down her back. "Two thousand?" After talking with Lacey, she'd come to terms with the fact that this man who looked a year younger than she was might actually be a few centuries old, not a few thousand years!
"Jesus Christ! Thats older than than..."
"Jesus Christ?"
She glared at Joshua and his self-satisfied smile. "Yes." She struggled to find a way to change the topic until she could come to terms with this new information. It wasn't everyday one met someone who had been alive since before the fall of the Roman Empire. "So I guess that you being an ex-Council member, it's even more important that they not find out how you've been living for these past years, huh?'
He chuckled again and closed the manuscript. "Indubitably. If they knew that I was saving children from car accidents and telling people about the Night World and living in the same house as a human, they'd punish me as harshly as they could."
"But isn't the penalty death?"
His eyes clouded over a moment, to a shade Manouchka hadn't seen before. It was grey, but instead of the blue-grey she was used to seeing, this color had no trace of blue. It was grey, the color of metal or silver without the luster. She could see the paleness laying under his tanned skin and felt a shiver when she recognized the emotion. It was fear. When she opened her mouth to speak, she could almost taste his fear, sour, on the tip of her tongue.
"There are many ways to kill somebody, Manny. The harshness of the penalty they administer is judged by how long it takes the condemned to die."
"What's the most merciful?" Manny knew it was rude to ask, but the question was out. Manny was not one to use tact, not when the information of how to kill a vampire was now a clue to how to survive in the Night World. She wanted to know how to defend herself.
He eyed her perceptively, then seemed to settle on telling her. Apparently he had concluded she wasn't asking to know how to kill him, so it was okay to tell her. "Vampires," he said, "are susceptible to wood, just like in the movies. Staking a vampire, however, is rather messy and painful. It's hardly the best way to kill one."
"So they don't really poof into dust like in television?" Lacey had basically said as much, but Manny wanted confirmation from a real vampire. She was appeased when Joshua nodded.
'They don't go poof. They bleed, and struggle to breathe and pump blood, just like a human would if you stabbed them in a heart. But of course, human vampire hunters don't like to think that they're stabbing a sentient being, the way a murderer stabs an innocent victim, so they call it staking to sanitize it and," he admitted, trying to be fair, "because they did originally use wooden stakes. The most humane method of killing a vampire is to behead them.'
Manny was stunned, and she stammered something unintelligible, but Joshua seemed to understand. He nodded. "Yes, it was easier to behead another vampire centuries ago, when one actually carried swords. That's why I carry this instead.'
He reached behind him, under the back of his shirt, and pulled out a sheathe. The dagger was still inside, and he motioned for Manny to extract it. She did so, feeling a little awkward. The knife she held was a dagger too large for her hand. It was made for someone Joshua's size, and though there was only a few inches between them, the dagger felt large and gangly.
To her surprise, the blade was made of wood, not metal, and kept so polished the blade glistened as it were metal. The edge was so sharp that when she ran her thumb across it she felt the dangerous flick across her skin and then the sharp tang of blood. Joshua stiffened, knowing she'd cut herself. Manny quickly stuck her thumb in her mouth, cutting off the smell of blood.
The handle of the knife was inlaid with silver, and it coated the first inch of the length of the blade. She wondered what it was for, and then spoke around her injured finger. 'What's the silver for?"
"Shapeshifters. Just like vampires are weak against wood, silver is poisonous to shapeshifters. They can't even wear it without breaking out into blisters and hives. This way I don't have to carry around two different weapons."
"What about witches?"
"Witches are essentially humans with powers," he said, gently taking the sheathe and the dagger back from her. He sheathed it and then put it back in his belt, the weapon hidden just out of sight. "They can catch colds, be hurt by any sharp blade, but they do live a longer time. If you want to contain their power, though, iron is what you need."
Joshua looked over at her, scrutinizing her expression, when she didn't keep asking questions. He found her looking curious, but a little thoughtful, and more than a little overwhelmed. It was refreshing to be around someone whose face was so beautifully expressive. Most Night Worlders learned not to let their emotions show, but she was from the human world, with a human face, where emotions lay far too close to the surface.
"What is it?"
She sighed and began plucking balls of fluff from her socks. It was rather unkempt of her, but at the same time, a display of her naivety. Joshua would have agreed with her earlier thoughts. Manny was not cute, but he would have pointed out that her naivety and human view of the world was refreshing.
"It's just... you're so old. How old are you, really? You only said that you served on the council for two thousand years."
His face remained neutral. "I was turned into a vampire eight thousand years ago, give or take a few centuries. It's hard to keep track after so many years."
He watched as Mannys face paled. "Eight thou... eight. Wow."
She leaned back in her chair and stared at the computer screen. He opened the manuscript again and tried to recall where he had left off. He heard her shuffle uncomfortably, and it irked him. Was age really that important to her? Did she really have that much trouble accepting it?
'So does that make you the first vampire?'
"No," he answered curtly, and he heard her exhale with relief. "The first vampire has a couple thousand years on me. She was made back when..."
"She?" Manny interrupted.
"Yes; she. The first one of our kind was a female. It's a long story. I'll tell it to you some other time, if you're interested."
Manny flashed him a wide grin, made earnest by the prospect of a story. The longer, she thought, the better. It gave her more time to be able to enjoy his accent. "Yes, please! So, okay, you're not the oldest, but you're still really, really old, aren't you?"
A faint smile tugged at his lips. "I thought your file said you were an English major."
"Pardon me for not being more verbose about it." She rolled her eyes. "But you are, arent you? You're ancient."
"I suppose so...' He didnt really know if he liked being called ancient.
"I mean, things your age get locked up and preserved in a vault, while their replicas are placed under glass and displayed." Her husky voice was slow, cautious as she tried to make her point. "I can understand the detraction in not wanting to be around people, of shutting yourself away in a vault of your own making. You've seen civilizations rise and fall, and within that time, friends have come and gone and might very well have been nothing more than mayflies to you."
She noticed it when his eyes turned to the deep blue that signified his undeniable rage. Now she knew why it looked as deep as the ocean: he was so old that his anger was as fathomless as the ocean, and just as strong. He might take awhile to anger, but when he did it was all he felt, she thought. Manny realized that she'd gotten her point across.
"It just seems like it's a very lonely existence."
The depth faded from his eyes, leaving them their normal pale blue-grey. He turned back to his manuscript. "Aye, lass, it is."
Manny watched him for a moment longer and then she nodded. "I was ready for sleep, but now I think I have a bit more inspiration after talking to you."
"Glad I could help." Manny was surprised to hear the sarcasm, but she decided to take it as a good sign.
They once again worked in silence. Manny typed away furiously, fueled on the by the understanding she had of Joshua's loneliness. He, like the Green Giant in the poem she studied, at once hated society because they were forever separate from it, and yet longed to be a part of it too. So the question was, did they throw themselves blindly into it, knowing that they would only be hurt in the end, or did they hide from it and suffer the weight of immortality alone?
She glanced at Joshua now and then, lips parted softly as she realized the weight he carried. Her hands itched to hold him, to tell her that she'd help bear his loneliness for him. Where had her anger gone? Where was her frustration? Where was her fear of him?
It had vanished in those few words hed told her: Aye, lass, it is.
Manny shut the computer down and spun her office chair around. He was still working away, though he lifted his head when he heard the motor of the computer gently come to a stop. She didn't say anything as she slid from her seat and into his lap, noting the way that his hands were braced tightly to the arms of his chair, and his back pressed against the back of it. He looked nervous, and she almost felt bad for him as she balanced herself on her knees.
She didn't know what to do now that she was sitting there. She tilted back her neck, giving him ample view of her throat, and watched his gaze trace along the curve of her neck, lingering here and there where the blood beat close to the surface. He licked his lips so quickly she barely noticed it.
"You sure that you want to do this again, Manny? I won't need much, since I fed before."
He was actually giving her a way out. He was actually giving her a choice! Manny felt touched, and she knew that she was frightened. Those teeth... those fangs! Surely it would hurt; she couldn't imagine exchanging blood being a nice experience, like Lacey had told her it was supposed to be. Those fangs had not been designed as pure decoration!
She nodded, closing her eyes and resigning herself to this task. She had told him that she would do this, she couldn't wait for Lacey, and with this change she was seeing in him, she knew that he wouldn't be ordering her around. As he had said, he felt something for her, even though he knew he shouldn't feel anything. The thought of being special to someone warmed her and gave her the courage to go on.
Joshua raised a hand to her face, rubbing his thumb over her cheek gently, and he felt her shiver at his touch. He flinched away, thinking it a shiver of disgust, but her hands closed about his wrist and kept it there. With his hand, he guided her face down to his, noting the way she kept her eyes shut so she couldn't see what was going on. Her expression and her scent revealed the truth. She was scared.
His lips slowly closed over hers before he gave it much consideration. He wanted to kiss her, to know what she tasted like. She tasted of the slightest hint of scone and herbal tea. She kissed him back uncertainly, her small grip tightening around his wrist. Joshua adored the hesitation in her kiss, the way she wasn't quite certain of what to do, the way she hesitated her and there.
His lips traveled down to her chin, his hands around her waist now as he helped to steady her in the chair. She sighed as he nuzzled against her neck and heard her mumble something about how he reminded her of a cat. As soon as he opened his mouth, though, he heard her squeak in fear and tense in his arms. He closed his mouth, nuzzling her once more, and she relaxed, but as soon as she knew he meant to bite her, she once again stiffened. Joshua could smell her fear, and it was beginning to churn his stomach.
"This willna do," he said, lifting his head.
Manny pouted. "But..."
"Lass," he said gently, fixing her hair so that it lay properly. "You're scared. I'm not like the others. I don't like the taste of fear, or the stench of it. It's kind and brave of you to try, but it's much easier for both of us when you're asleep."
He smiled. Joshua wouldn't tell her, but she looked so happy when she was asleep. Her mouth turned up faintly, delicate lashes laying against the apple of her cheeks. She looked sweet and young when she slept, but it was the smile he loved the most. Manouchka had pleasant dreams when she slept; pleasant enough that she lay still and smiled until she awoke. He found himself sometimes wondering, in the wee hours of the night, what she dreamed of, but he didn't have the heart to ask her.
Joshua reached out and touched her forehead. He didn't even have to use a touch of suggestion. Simply his voice was enough for the blood bond they had to already start working. "Sleep, Manny, and dream of pretty things."
She collapsed at once in his arms, and he held her for a moment, listening to her steady breathing and watching the ghostly smile appear, before he set about doing his business.
to be continued...
