Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or anything relating to them, just borrowing them to satisfy my stupid brain. Any references to real life events; anything I may have read, seen or heard are completely unintentional and coincidental. I gain nothing from this other than to finally get this idea to stop repeating in my head. So please don't sue me or threaten to kill me. if this offends you in any way or it just plain sucks, I apologize that you've wasted several minutes of your life you'll never get back. Just pretend you never saw this, know for future reference to avoid it at all costs should you ever see the title again, and go on with your life. Any and all mistakes are mine. Also, any names, places or references are purely fictional!
A/N: Thanks so much quietmusician, Kirky123 and Vagoriel for the reviews!!! I'm getting to the point now in my writing that was actually the whole basis for this story. I've been trying to lead up to it and make things flow and kind of make sense. I hope it hasn't been boring these last few chapters. I apologize that this chapter is short...I pretty much have ch.9 finished and am working on 10 right now...this was another filler to help things make sense. Oh, and the names used in this story are totally made up...and badly made up at that. Thanks so much everyone for reading!
So much for my beer and bubble bath...I guess it's probably for the better. The way I feel right now, I wouldn't care if I drank too much and ended up drowning in the bathtub.
No! No, I'm not going to even go there, no! I have a job to do here, I'm not going to take the easy way out. I've battled depression my whole life; I'm a very self-destructive person. I'd be lying if I said I've never contemplated suicide before.
I made a promise to Lindsay that I would take care of her mother and bring her justice. Besides, I feel like I'm already dead anyway. I'm just going to have to learn to live with my suffering, the way I used to before I fell in love with Catherine.
Well, since sleep is going to escape me anyway tonight, I may as well look up a few of these names.
This is interesting...Lindsay's murderer's last name was Skeltem; that was his mother's last name. The father's last name was Dorball. I'll have to look that one up when I get to work tomorrow. Parents divorced when he was 8. I wonder why he took his mother's last name.
As I grab the history sheet of Lindsay's murderer I cover the picture of his face. I never want to see that face again! It's bad enough it haunts my nightmares every night.
According to this report, Skeltom had a minor police history. Broke into a car at age 12, stole a women's purse at 15...basic troubled kid stuff. A bunch of unpaid parking tickets, but nothing major. I keep scanning the sheets until something catches my eye. Here's the motive!
His parents divorced after his father lost their life savings gambling at Sam's casino. Father went on to become homeless and killed himself a couple years later. His mother apparently became an alcoholic and is currently in the hospital with liver failure on the transplant list.
Oh God, please don't tell me that's it! That's why my baby's gone and my life is in shambles?! I throw the files across the room and begin to pace back and forth before collapsing against the wall and sliding down into a sitting position. I rock myself back and forth as I let it all out.
I cry for Lindsay, I cry for Catherine and I cry for myself. I've spent the better part of my life fighting crime, bringing bad people to justice...and for what?! Crime rates are just as high, if not higher than ever before. And now myself and my family can be added to that tally. I've fallen victim to what I'm trying to fight. Life is just so unfair!
Okay Sidle, breathe...try and breathe. Be angry yes, be sad yes...but breathe. You can beat this...you're not going to let them win.
I wonder if the day shift has already notified Catherine of the motive. That her girl was taken away because someone blamed Sam for their family breaking up. I thought there would be more to it...but this...this is senseless...this is Vegas. People win and lose thousands of dollars every minute here. I guess money really is the root of all evil.
It's so empty and lifeless in this apartment. Why did I say I would move back here? I shouldn't have run away like that. Running isn't going to solve our problems. I have to fight for my family, not give up and run away! Catherine is the world to me, I'm not going to give up on us yet. Tomorrow after work I'm going to call her and see if we can talk things out. But now, it's time for another sleeping pill...and maybe a beer. I'm going to need all the energy and help I can get.
