A/N: Since I got so many reviews for last chap, I figure everyone who's following this fic has read it. Plus I had this done and thought I might as well put it up.
Chapter 8
There was shock, more than anything else. Actually, there was only shock. Nothing else. Not at first. Neji stood there, his arm stretched behind him, breathing shallowly, while his brain seemed to shut down for those few tense seconds. To compensate, his senses kicked into overdrive.
Itachi's hand was strong and hard against his wrist. Neji even felt the faint callouses on the palm, evidence of regular sword practice. He heard the wind clearly, heard infinite echoes and tones in the wind. The fire in the hearth sent heat rippling across the room in waves he could almost see. He could feel the waves, how they undulated in the room, against his body, and the faint pressure they caused woke an answering heat in him. It began in his chest, spread to his face and hands. And then, finally, he could feel and hear his heart knocking away madly in his breast.
He slowly turned his head to look behind himself.
At seeing the expression of stern determination on Itachi's face, Neji had a revelation. With astonishment, delight, and a healthy dose of disbelief, he saw –hoped, doubted, hoped again- that maybe…possibly…(no other explanation fit)…that Itachi might have realized his own attraction at long last. Realized it and accepted it. He turned around completely now, quaking in his shoes and suddenly drenched in sweat.
Itachi clenched his jaw tightly, but persevered. His embarrassment was downright atrocious, but he would say his piece. "Neji."
"Sir?"
He saw that Neji's face… no, his eyes. Neji's eyes held an odd gleaming light in them. His face was damp with sweat, and Itachi realized that his own shirt was beginning to stick to him. He swallowed nervously, took a breath, and tried again. "Neji, I-"
Neji's eyes dropped. Itachi followed his gaze and saw with utter chagrin that he was firmly holding Neji's wrist. Squeezing it. He hadn't even been aware of reaching out, really. The contact was unforgivable, of course. One did not touch others like that, most especially servants. He dropped Neji's hand at once, then wiped his sweaty palm down the front of his jacket…before realizing that the gesture looked as if he felt contaminated by touching Neji. "I apologize," he blurted. "Dammit." One did not apologize to servants either. Or swear in front of them, or show anything less than iron self-control. He'd now made a complete botch of what should have been an elegant declaration. What was wrong with him?
Neji's brows rose. He was torn between amusement at Itachi's flustered manner, and elation at the man being flustered at all.
Enough, Itachi thought repressively. Control yourself and have done with it. He lifted his chin resolutely and cleared his throat. "Neji."
"Sir."
"We are both grown men, yes?"
"Last I checked."
"And…as…as quiet as it's kept, sometimes men have…feelings…er, no. Sometimes there's an interest. Yes, that's the word. Sometimes there is an interest, a…a fondness, if you will. Between two men, yes?"
Trembling just a little harder, and growing harder by the second, Neji inclined his head.
"Yes. Like there is between my brother and Naruto."
Neji thought of pointing out that what was between Naruto and Sasuke was considerably stronger than interest or fondness, but Itachi might not understand the difference.
"And I'm sure you're aware of a similar…well…development …existing between us. Yes?" Itachi's eyes held Neji's.
"I'm aware," Neji said quietly. Then, because he simply had to know, "I wasn't aware that you were interested in men or that you knew of your inclination."
Itachi seemed to pull himself up even straighter. "I have no such inclinations, mark my words."
"But-"
"There is simply this…matter…between us. It cannot be ignored, therefore it must be acknowledged, and now we have done so."
"I see." Neji smiled. "Actually, I don't. I have feelings for you. You know that now."
"Feelings? No, I thought…well, I thought you were attracted."
Feelings between men are taboo, Neji noted with interest. At least where he is concerned. It's fine for his brother, but Itachi considers himself too perfect for that. I can play along…for now. "I am attracted."
"Yes, and?"
"And you're attracted to me." Neji took a step closer.
"As I've stated."
"All right. Now what?" He took another step closer. "Now that we can stop hiding and pretending, what are we going to do about it?"
"Do?" Neji's proximity fairly scattered his thoughts. Had the man always been so tall? He had to be three or four inches over six feet, Itachi thought wildly. He remembered thinking of Neji putting his head on his breast and found the notion doubly ludicrous now. But that reminded him of his other plans. He found his control and tugged it back into place. "Do. Yes. Of course. Well, we are obviously occupied with the Madara situation, but I thought perhaps we could go for a walk once the weather permitted."
"A walk."
"Yes. Neji, do allow me room to breathe, you're standing far too close."
Neji remained where he was. "Just a walk?"
"Well, no. I thought perhaps you'd like to have tea with me on occasion, or…or…"
"Or you could bring me flowers? Write sonnets for me? Perhaps you'd like to send a telegram to my uncle in Japan and ask him for my hand in marriage? Sir, I know my hair is long, but do I look like some simpering maid to you? Like someone who'd consent to walks and tea and God only knows what else you're thinking?"
Itachi's mouth opened in shock. He knew a moment of bewildered hurt that Neji would speak of his fantasies with such scorn and disregard, but his anger quickly pushed it aside. "You cad! How dare you speak to me like that, when I've done the impossible by coming forward in the first place."
Neji tried to reign in his frustration and disappointment; Itachi didn't know anything, and consequently only had the interactions of men and women to guide him. He took a few steps back, then went around Itachi and leaned his ass on the desk. He studied his shoes. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "It's just…now that we're talking about it, I expected something else."
Itachi inclined his head, soothed from his insult. "You're forgiven. This situation is difficult at best, for both of us."
"And then some."
"What were you expecting?" Itachi asked keenly. He was dying to know how two men did court.
"Not tea and walking."
"What then? What was I supposed to say?"
That was a good question. "I'm not sure," Neji said carefully.
Itachi understood. "This is new for you too, isn't it. Of course it is. Attraction between men isn't at all common. There's no instruction manual on how to go about it, as there is for courting women. But do not worry, I won't steer us wrong. We can discover the way together." He gave a bracing smile.
Neji gave Itachi a sidelong look, assessing him.
He refuses to mention feelings, and truthfully I can't say for sure if he has any for me. It could be exactly as he says and he's only attracted. Then again, attraction often leads to feelings. And I can't help thinking that he wouldn't have suggested a walk or tea unless there were feelings involved. Jesus…he probably thinks he'll take me for rides in his buggy and shit. And that's aside from the obvious conclusion he's drawn about who's seme here. Obvious and wrong. Then again, he probably hasn't thought of that since he seems not to think of sex at all. "You have no idea what two men do, do you," he said suddenly. "Sasuke never told you."
"Well, I know he and Naruto love each other, and that they…have…relations of some kind, but that hardly applies here, does it?" Itachi blinked a few times, as if afraid of the answer.
Neji's voice lowered. "I don't know, does it?"
"What on earth do you mean?" The tone Neji used, and the look on his face now sent a frisson of alarm tingling along Itachi's nerves. That question held other questions in it. Hidden things. Things he didn't understand, and these hidden questions were very important, he sensed. He could almost feel the questions circling the room, like sharks in the water, waiting to swoop in and savage him when he wasn't looking. "Neji? What do you mean by that?"
Neji held Itachi's gaze a moment more, letting the tension build... "Nothing." He straightened from leaning on the desk, and the mood was broken. "How does this change things between us?"
Itachi wilted in relief…which he would examine later. "I beg your pardon?"
"Am I still working for you?"
"Of course! Everything shall remain exactly as it was; it's just that now that we've addressed our issue, we can re-focus on Madara properly. Wouldn't you agree? Certainly, we can stop avoiding each other. And speaking of things being as they were…Neji, you've failed to address me correctly several times now."
"I see." It was as he'd thought. He stared at Itachi for a long moment. "Good night. Sir."
Watching Neji's long stride out of the den, Itachi cursed softly. He'd done it again, somehow insulted Neji when he hadn't meant to. Then he thought of how he'd successfully brought their attraction for each other into the open and rather thought that he should be congratulated. He had just navigated an extremely touchy situation. But Neji is a very prickly individual, easily offended over the smallest thing. I'll have to tell him that I'll not countenance such behavior in a…a companion.
With the passage of the blizzard, the inhabitants of Uchiha Manor took stock. The horses turned out to be fine, since Gai had braved the storm on a few occasions to bring them food and melt snow for them to drink. Chouza was discovered gone the morning the snow finally stopped. Itachi quietly instructed the remaining men not to follow him. Arrangements were made to have his wife buried properly.
-oOo-
At the docks, Ei was standing aboard Lightning, his pride and joy. She was a mix between a collier and a caravel, a sailing vessel with cargo capacity and speed, commissioned by him and built under his supervision. Fifteen years old and still a beauty. He cared not one bit for the new-fangled steam ships that were becoming all the rage. He didn't trust new inventions. His Lightning might be slower, but he knew every inch of her and trusted her. She'd never failed to bring him and his brother safely home.
Before him stood his main crew. Petty officers were ranged behind them. Bee stood at his right hand, and slightly behind him. Neji had dropped off his employer's letter to someone in Panama an hour ago and they were now ready to depart. He spoke in a voice loud enough for his men to hear, but no louder than that.
"Lis'en close now," Ei began. "We done loaded up in the night, and spoke to our man in the wharfinger's office. They got us down as carrying building materials and such. We know what we's really carrying and we know why. Don't nobody else need to know, so if'n someone asts you, you keep yo' damn mouf shut. Direct them to me or Bee here. Tha's an order you don' want to disobey, trus' me. We'll stop off in Panama for a day. Take on water and food whiles I tend to sumthin'. Then we go on to Honolulu. After dat, we gon' hit the hard stuff. Dem women need to be found and we's getting good money to find 'em. Be some fightin'. Might be we die, but if we do, we's gon' die with dey blood on us." He glared around at them, as if waiting to be contradicted. He got silence, and grunted in approval. He knew his men, and they knew him; there'd be nothing but strict obedience.
Bee took over once his brother left the main deck. "Darui. Take us out."
The waves were a bit choppy, and the odd flurry of snow blew past, but otherwise the sailing conditions were fine for any experienced seaman. Lord, but he was looking forward to traveling south. He and his brother hated cold weather. And a tussle with yakuza would be good; neither of them had had a good fight in years. Sometimes a man just needed to get his hands dirty and his blood pumping.
-oOo-
Madara was having similar thoughts. He lay in the dark, eyes closed, body slowly healing. Fugaku and his hell-spawned get have given me more trouble than all my enemies combined. More than once he thought of giving up. In his secret heart of hearts, defeat hovered at the edges of his resolve, but he always rallied himself and renewed his vow of revenge. I'm only weakened now. Once I'm well, such cowardly thoughts will cease. I will have what's mine.
Kabuto worked by the light of a few candles, keeping the room as dark and warm as possible. "Sir, it's time for another dose." He held a small ceramic cup out.
Madara let himself be fed, then lay back weakly. "The weather?" he rasped.
"Improving."
"Then the men can see about the tasks I've set them. Send them out."
"I already have, though they've reported that Inoichi is gone from his residence. No one knows where he is."
"Damn. How long before I can be up and about?"
Kabuto applied a specially mixed salve to the bullet wound and bandaged it carefully before replying. "It's hard to say, sir. It's lucky you found that house when you did, but you were still exposed to the elements for days. The bullet has given you lead poisoning, which I am doing my best to correct with my herbs-"
"But I removed the bullet myself, once I'd reached shelter."
"I understand, sir, but you still had it in you for over two days. Long enough to poison your body. And then there is the frostbite to your hands and feet…I'd say it's second degree, which will take several weeks to heal, and you still might not recover fully. Just rest, sir. I'm doing everything I can to make you well again."
Madara didn't have the energy to argue or resist. He had full confidence in Kabuto, though. Even in Japan, the man's skill was widely known.
He'd found some small family home three days after leaving Uchiha Manor and forced his way inside. Delirious, he'd still managed to kill the young couple and raid their cupboards. He'd removed the bullet, rested, eaten…but then he'd set out again the next day; he needed immediate care, and the only place he'd receive it was with his own people. It was lucky he'd found a compass in Itachi's attic, or he'd have wandered around and died in that storm. As it was, he'd only arrived here yesterday and by then he'd been nearly dead.
He counseled himself to patience. He would get well, he swore. And when he did, woe to Itachi and those with him.
The following day was spent with the male staff at the manor making repairs to the house, and listing supplies that needed to be brought from town. A small group of ruffian boys showed up at the gate, asking if they could shovel the property for coins. Itachi hired them, and had them lay salt on the drive. Gai went into the city and came back many hours later at the head of a long line of delivery wagons. There was wood for fires, produce, meat, milk…Neji directed all the deliveries to the back of the house.
These mundane things went on for a few days as the city put itself back to rights. Itachi pored over records and files again and again with Inoichi, all with the same results, until he finally sat back with a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Sir?" Inoichi said gently. "We can stop for today, if you wish. I daresay it's nearly lunch time."
Itachi was tempted to give up. He couldn't think at all these days. Fighting the urge to yawn, he shook his head. "No. Let's go over it again."
"If I may say so, we've been over these files a hundred times. There is nothing here."
"There has to be. Madara wants my records, so what my father took has to be something that came to me in my share of the inheritance."
"But you said yourself that your father always kept the most important transactions undocumented. What makes you think a record of it is here or anywhere?"
"I don't know!" Itachi snapped. He calmed at once, ashamed. "Forgive me. On reflection, maybe I could use a break."
Inoichi understood and left without a word.
-oOo-
Neji appeared at the door a short time later. "Sir?"
Itachi looked up. A mixture of eagerness and resentment hit him at the sight of Neji. "You've been avoiding me still."
"I've been busy putting your house to rights and overseeing the men." He came into the room. "Sir, I've just come from downtown. I have some troubling news."
"I'd like you to have lunch with me."
"We now have confirmation that Madara is alive. He's invoked his position as majority holder of the Uchiha businesses and frozen your bank account."
"Did you hear what I said, Neji?"
"And did you hear me? Sir? Madara has cut you off. Worse, all the creditors are now demanding payment. I've no doubt that's Madara's doing as well."
"Why are you avoiding me?"
Neji ground his teeth together until his jaw ached. He went swiftly to the den door, looked out, then shut it. He was back in front of the desk at once, speaking in a low, furious hiss. "What else am I supposed to do? According to you there's only an interest between us, something that shouldn't cause any deviation from our normal interactions. I am your assistant. This is how we interact. What more do you want? You're beginning to confuse me."
Itachi seriously considered reprimanding Neji for speaking so rudely. The man just never learned, it seemed. "I suppose you're right. I wasn't clear. Very well, in public we may carry on as usual. In private, however, I would like your company."
Neji leaned his hands on the desk and hung his head. "Explain."
"You don't command me, Neji. And I just did. Was I unclear?"
Neji lifted his head and found those black eyes unreadable. "Allow me to explain then. I'm not some woman. I don't need to be handled as if I am one. I don't need to have my reputation or my modesty preserved through safe courtship rituals. If you're attracted, fine, but unless you have feelings for me, and plan on acting on those feelings, I don't see what you could possibly want from me."
"Lunch. To begin with. Perhaps some conversation. Or are we to ignore the attraction between us now that it's acknowledged?"
"You want lunch and conversation, fine I'll give you lunch and conversation." Neji straightened up, and adjusted his jacket angrily. "Now what about your finances?"
Itachi stood as well. "Tell the new Cook to send wine with lunch. We can discuss Madara then. My sitting room, thirty minutes." Feeling triumphant now, and positively energized, he strode past Neji and out of the den, completely ignoring the irate countenance of the taller man.
Shibi poured the wine for them both. To his credit, he said not a word about Itachi dining with his assistant. He left just as silently and shut the door.
Neji sat with his arms crossed. His eyes took in the fine China, the gold-enameled napkin holders, and the ornate silverware. "This table is set with your finest."
"So it is."
"Why?"
Itachi finally decided that he would not insist on being addressed properly when they were in private. "Why are you angry? I thought you'd welcome the chance to be in my presence; you were upset at being discharged from your valet duties." He reached for his napkin.
Insufferable, arrogant son of a- "I don't like being patronized."
Itachi narrowed his eyes now and threw his napkin down. "All right, enough. How is it that I am managing to offend you when I'm doing everything in my power to show you every courtesy?"
"Because these are courtesies you show to women."
"You flatter yourself. A man would never be allowed to dine with a woman unchaperoned."
Neji almost swallowed his tongue in rage. "I don't understand why you feel the need to spend time with me over a mere attraction."
Itachi paused in the act of lifting his fork. "I thought we'd settled this."
"No, we haven't. In fact, you haven't answered my question, which is what do you want from me? Besides lunch and conversation?"
Itachi calmly speared a baby potato. "Must I want something other than that?"
Ignoring his plate of food, Neji leaned forward and waited until Itachi met his eyes. "What do you feel when I'm in the room?"
Itachi carefully reached for his napkin and brought it to his mouth, chewing slowly. "I don't know what you mean, nor do I have the slightest clue as to what it is you want."
"I think you do."
"You presume-"
"Because before all this came out, back when I was still your manservant, there were a few moments. Shared moments. I would look at you, and see you looking at me, and I could feel that we were on the same page. We weren't saying it out loud, but inside we knew what we felt."
Something like panicked recognition leapt to life in Itachi's chest, but he ruthlessly tamped it down and stood up. "I see that asking you to lunch was not a good idea. Get out."
Neji stood as well. "No. You know what I'm talking about, you know this isn't about some damned attraction, and I think you do know what I want."
"I said to get out."
"Oh no," Neji said through his teeth. "You've opened the door now, so you can bloody well deal with the consequences." He moved around the table until he was towering over Itachi. "You don't confess an attraction to a man and then expect to treat him like some virginal socialite. Men, the kind of men who have a fondness for other men, don't want lunch, or walks, or conversation. They want a lot more than that." He stared down at the wide eyes, the flared nostrils, and the tightly compressed lips. "Just in case you don't know, though…allow me to show you exactly what it is I want, Itachi."
The shock of hearing his name from Neji effectively doused Itachi's rising outrage, but he had no time to register anything except the forceful way his shoulders were grabbed. He opened his mouth to give a blistering set down, and quite suddenly found his mouth being devoured. It was the only word he could come up with for what Neji did…he devoured him.
-oOo-
Perhaps he struggled. If he did, he didn't remember it later, nor was he aware of doing so while the assault was actually taking place. He only thought that he must have struggled, because he could not possibly have willingly let what happened happen for as long as it seemed to go on.
Neji's lips had been firm and warm. He remembered that. His head had been craned back with the force of the assault, and Neji's mouth had been open on his. He remembered that too, how horrified he'd been, and the way Neji's strong hands had pulled him in tighter, so that their bodies had been in shameless contact with each other. So much heat, so much Neji. Their…their tongues had touched. Neji had actually suckled on his, and…and there had been activity in Neji's trousers- no, he did not remember any of that. Or the way his own hands had lifted to push Neji away, only to find himself pulling him closer, or how Neji had moaned, or how they had stumbled against the small round table set with their lunch and completely upset the wine bottle…no, none of that had happened.
Hands. Touching. A person's body was their own, it was private, it was not to be violated in this way: Itachi felt Neji's strong hands slip into his jacket, slide around his back, and close around him tightly. This was more than an embrace, this was surely the most personal contact two individuals could share. Not even intercourse allowed such intimate interaction…Neji's arms completely encircled him, and the assault was suddenly more…more there. Deeper. Delicious. He could hear nothing above the furious thud of his own pulse, could feel nothing but Neji all over him, all around him, and the throbbing, catastrophic ache of his own body.
Partway through the assault he'd found his arms around Neji in turn. So this is what holding a man feels like. He'd pulled at the taller man, trying to devour him in turn with his mouth and arms, with his hands in all that long brown hair. He'd wanted…no, he'd needed. He'd just needed, and Neji was there, and it had been ungodly, how much he was feeling, so much so that he couldn't make sense of it, or think, or do anything but do what Neji was doing. Somewhere far away they bumped the table again, and Neji had put out a hand to steady them before they fell into the food, and he'd wanted to curse at even this minimal loss of contact. He wanted Neji's hands, both of them, to remain on him, to keep bruising him through his clothes, and hurting his nearly-healed wounds, and-
But none of that had happened.
He'd been released, he recalled. Yes, Neji had released him, breathing hard. He'd calmly, pointedly, lifted Itachi's hands out of his hair.
For a breathless moment they'd stared into each other's eyes, seeing all. Seeing all of the truth. But then Itachi blinked and lowered his gaze, and the spell was broken.
"I want you," Neji said unsteadily. "You. And you obviously want me too, so the next time you seek me out, I'll assume you want something other than conversation."
Which meant that he was not to be sought out otherwise. Itachi remembered that loud and clear, and he remembered thinking irrationally that Neji had some nerve giving ultimatums under his roof.
Neji had left then, left Itachi standing there with his clothes in disarray, and his mind completely incapacitated by thoughts and feelings he couldn't even identify.
Shibi had come into the room at that moment, if memory served. He'd seen the wine staining the carpet, the food all over the table, Itachi's wildly unkempt appearance. "Would you like dessert, sir? Cook made apple cobbler."
Neji made his way blindly out of the manor, across the grounds, and to the carriage house, where he lived in the rooms above. Once inside, he slammed the door shut, leaned against it, and covered his mouth with a hand.
Fuck, I kissed him. I really kissed him, and now he'll send my ass packing for sure. Why the fuck did I do that?
Still shaking, still hard as a rock and leaking into his trousers, Neji slid down his door and tried to think.
But he couldn't think. The scene kept playing itself over and over in his mind until he finally just gave in and let the images wash over him.
The kiss hadn't been at all what he'd expected. He'd expected to encounter resistance. Revulsion, maybe. Outrage. Instead, it had been like setting a match to gunpowder. Itachi had flared to life in his arms, exploding in a frenzy of passionate reciprocation as if he'd been waiting for Neji to touch him. He didn't believe that, though. That Itachi had been waiting. Not consciously. The man simply wasn't a sexual person.
Going over everything he knew of Itachi, Neji had to conclude that he wasn't surprised after all. It was always the quiet ones. As repressed and tightly controlled as Itachi was, he was bound to have deep wells of unfulfilled desires. Things he usually ignored. Neji had tapped into them with the kiss, and my God…my God. As a rule, he didn't usually kiss people. The men he bedded were frequently filthy creatures with rotted teeth and foul breath. Once in a while he was lucky to find some relatively clean specimen, but it wasn't often, and he'd never had a kiss like the one he'd just experienced. He spent a few stunned minutes remembering it.
There had been some shock on Itachi's part, but it had only lasted a moment. His mouth had softened at once, as had the rest of him. He'd kissed back, awkwardly at first, then with more aggression, until Neji had suddenly been holding a squirming mass of hands and arms and panting male. The way Itachi had grunted low in his throat, how his hands had tangled in Neji's hair, dislodging his ponytail, how he'd been so hungry for Neji's mouth… When he'd pulled away, it was only because he'd been seconds away from throwing Itachi atop the ruined lunch and tossing the man's legs over his shoulders.
Then that moment of eye contact afterward. Itachi's eyes had been heavy-lidded, his face unguarded and open for the first time that Neji could remember. There had been so much longing on Itachi's face, so much need… And still pressed to the man as he'd been, he'd been able to clearly feel the evidence of that need.
But then he'd had to go and fuck it up by giving that ridiculous ultimatum. Neji snorted now, and that effectively scattered the memory to errant wisps of thought. Of course Itachi wouldn't seek him out. He was too prim and proper for that, for one thing. For another, if he hadn't fired Neji before he would surely do so now. Neji had finally gone too far, he admitted. And in retrospect, it was probably inevitable. He was too confused. Itachi was attracted to him, but wanted to keep his distance. Asked him to lunch, but seemed not to have romance on his mind. Demanded Neji's company, but swore he had no intention of them sharing anything but conversation. He'd snapped. Lost it, lost his resolve to keep his distance, and forced himself on Itachi. God, he'd only been dreaming of doing exactly that for the past year, and there was only so much he could take. And if he was completely honest, a part of him had really wanted to rip away Itachi's infuriating notion of Neji submitting to him in any fashion. Neji never submitted to anyone.
Still, an insidious little voice spoke up in him then and suggested that since he hadn't been fired yet, and Itachi had seemingly enjoyed the kiss, that there was still a possibility that he would have Itachi yet. Neji ground the heels of his hands into his eyes, shutting the voice out. It was the same voice that had kept him hoping for over a year that Itachi would come around, the same voice that kept him here when he should have been gone months ago.
But he is coming around, isn't he? the voice hissed slyly. Another kiss or two and he'll be warm butter in your hands.
"No." Neji groaned in misery. "I'm going mad."
The next morning, Shikaku opened the front door to find three kimono-wearing women standing there. He glanced down the drive to the iron gate, saw that it was still closed and presumably locked, then back at the women. "Yes?"
One of them lifted her head to reveal eyes of such a peculiar red that Shikaku stepped back. "We are here at Hinata-sama's summons," this woman said in Japanese.
-oOo-
Itachi heard of them from Inoichi, whom he'd promoted as his new assistant. "Typically, such an appointment is termed as secretary. I can be both secretary and lawyer to you, and thus handle all your affairs," Inoichi had said the previous evening. By then it had been known throughout the manor that due to some kind of dispute over lunch, Neji was no longer working for Itachi. He'd handed his assistant duties over to Inoichi.
They were in Itachi's office, a room more private than the den. Itachi sat staring into space, one finger absently rubbing his lips, as Inoichi told of the women's arrival.
"Who are they?" Itachi murmured now.
"Mitarashi Anko, Yuuhi Kurenai, and a young woman known simply as Tenten."
"Describe them."
"Yes, sir. They are Japanese, and dress as the Lady Hinata dresses, with the same ornamental fans. The Mitarashi woman seems quite fierce, though she barely says a word. They have been living in this country for some time and arrived in the city by railroad. Hinata summoned them, though what their function is I don't know. Tenten is the youngest, at eighteen. Lady Kurenai is quite ah…quite beautiful. Neji gave them the wing of the manor opposite yours, since the guest room downstairs is too small to house them as well as Lady Hinata and your mother."
"Do they speak English?"
"Tenten does, yes."
"Send Hinata to me in an hour. If I'm going to be feeding three extra mouths on my limited funds, I want to know why. Speaking of my funds…?"
"It isn't good. Madara has seen to it that you're completely cut off from everything but your own account, which he managed to empty while it was frozen. Don't ask me how. He likely bribed some bank official or other. Your wealth is now limited to whatever cash you have on hand here in the manor. It is my belief that he will begin shutting down the operations of your businesses here in the city to ensure you have no income at all. There is still the matter of the creditors to be dealt with, so it looks as though we will be unable to purchase the necessities before too much longer. I will see what I can do. Of course, I'll need an escort whenever going into the city to see to your affairs. Neji volunteered, if that's all right with you, sir."
"It is."
"Then he and I intend to see just how far Madara's reach over your finances extends later today."
Itachi let him drone on until the man took his leave a short while later. He remained in his office and welcomed the solitude.
Since that disastrous lunch, he'd existed in a mild daze. He was not overly responsive to those around him; his mind carried on a feverish re-enactment of Neji's assault. Endlessly. Sometimes he blinked, and was able to push the incident to the back of his mind. Long enough to conduct a conversation, or read a document. The memory of the assault led to other thoughts, but he could never seem to get past the assault itself to dwell on them.
It had been hours after the incident before he'd realized that Neji had kissed him. He didn't know how he'd made the connection between what had happened and his understanding of kissing, but once the connection had been made, it became a little easier to think.
He'd been kissed. He'd never been kissed. He'd kissed Karin's hand several times, her face a few times, his father's head, his mother's hand and head, Sasuke's head…but he'd never kissed anyone like he'd kissed Neji. And no one, ever, anywhere had kissed Itachi. Not like that. Maybe his mother had kissed him when he was small, as had his father, and Sasuke had certainly given him a few exuberant brotherly kisses when he'd been little more than a babe. These had all been given to his head, or his stomach as Sasuke had used to do. None of it came even remotely close to what Neji had done. He couldn't even call what Neji had done kissing, but it was the closest word that fit.
And he'd enjoyed it.
As much as he wanted to deny it, as hard as he tried to tell himself that he remembered no such enjoyment, he had. He'd…participated in it. He'd come to that acceptance not long after the realization that he'd been kissed. This wasn't what had him unable to think properly. What he was unable to understand was Neji's words. About wanting him. About Itachi wanting Neji. That simple word, small as it was….want. There were hidden implications in it. What did that word mean here? Obviously it meant more kissing, but what did it really mean? What did Neji mean when he said he wanted him? It was physical, Itachi was sure of it, but at the same time the word had been imbued with a wealth of intent. Even if Neji was thinking of becoming lovers, he'd meant more than that when he'd used that word.
Yes, and what of the notion of becoming lovers? He could now admit that he and Neji had both been in a state of physical readiness. He still could not imagine two men as lovers, but obviously something had to take place? Some act? Even if the act of sodomy was as repulsive as he feared, how did one do that?
He remembered telling Sasuke that he had no feelings one way or the other about sodomy or those who practiced it, but that had been when he was safely removed from the act. He'd had no interest in men, and no thoughts on becoming interested in men. He'd certainly never experienced anything like that kiss…he'd still been safe. Now he rather thought he needed a few points clarified, because if there was anything at all that was now crystal clear, it was the fact that should anything else take place between them, he, Itachi, would not be seme. He considered himself a proper man, forceful when he had to be and far from weak, either in mind or body. In fact, he knew he was a good deal stronger than most of his contemporaries, if not all of them. That was before the kiss. He saw now that Neji was not just stronger, he was inflexible. It was as Sasuke had said, the man didn't have a subservient bone in his body. It made one wonder what he was doing as Itachi's assistant in the first place, and how he'd performed as manservant for as long as he had. What it really demonstrated, though, was how ludicrous the idea of dominating Neji in any way was. Itachi could order him and reprimand him as much as he wanted, Neji would continue to do as he saw fit. And as for that kiss…no, Itachi would not ever physically best Neji.
He'd gravely misjudged and misunderstood Neji, simply because the man had chosen to defer to him. So yes, a bit of clarification on certain matters was in order.
But no. No, nothing needed to be clarified because what had happened wouldn't be happening again. He'd make sure of it. This time he would keep his distance from Neji. No more seeking him out, no more mixed signals, no more opportunity for assaults such as the one that had taken place. He was attracted, yes, and the kiss had been… But he was lord of the manor and in the middle of a crisis of some urgency. Lives were at stake. Sasuke's life, his own, and Yamanaka's family, to mention a few. Chouza had already lost his wife. If Itachi wasn't careful, more would die and it would be all his fault. He could not afford to slip and let himself be diverted from the simple, all-important job before him, and that was to defeat Madara and restore his own life to rights. He'd never accomplish that with Neji on his mind; the man represented all manner of chaos, and Itachi routinely kept his life fastidiously ordered. There was no room for Neji and the feelings he called up. Not now, not ever.
For a second he remembered that moment after the kiss, when all had been laid bare. Then he deliberately hardened his mind against the ache in his chest, pulling the mantle of emotionless practicality that he'd worn while Neji had been away from the manor around himself once more.
It was over.
A/N 2: There are key difference between Itachi and Sasuke in this 'verse. I'd be interested to see if anyone is picking up on them. Obviously Itachi's story is going very differently from Sasuke's in Save Me. Simply because the characters' natures here, not to mention the circumstances, I don't think there'll be as much sex as Save Me, but there are other differences I'm illustrating. Anyone notice? :D
