A/N: Thanks for the great reviews guys, and please keep it up! I want to say a special shout out to my dear, dear friend Allie (sometimestheycallmejackie). Thanks for your support and trust, and for allowing me into your life. I simply adore you!
Dedicated to another great friend of mine, BloodyLyra. You continue to rock my socks!
Chapter titles are Maria Mena songs (This one really can describe Jackie and Hyde)
Chapter 8: Miss You Love
It had been three long, tortuous weeks since Jackie had moved out of Hyde's apartment and life, and he was not handling it well. Steven Hyde would scarcely admit to even himself that he had a heart, but he was sure now that it was broken. He had screwed things up with Jackie yet again. All because of his stupid bullshit hang ups. He had tried talking to Jackie several times, but she would not have it. She let him have time with Will when she was out, but for Hyde, it wasn't enough. He had grown so attached to the little guy, that not having him around all the time was tearing him apart.
Jackie was staying with the Formans while she searched for an apartment for her and Will to live in. Hyde had consistently attempted to talk to her about what happened, but she just couldn't do it. How could she possibly forgive him for what he did? On top of everything, Andrew's calls had become more and more regular. Jackie could tell that he had strong feelings for her, but how did she feel about him? Everything was just so confusing. The only part of her life that seemed to be perfect was her relationship with her son. Will was amazing. It was all the other men in her life that were idiots. Well except one that is.
"So loud one, do you want me to kick Steven's ass?" Red Forman asked, lifting his head from the newspaper he was currently reading.
"Oh Red, don't say the A.S.S. word around the baby!" Kitty warned as she placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of her husband and Jackie.
"Well I'm sorry Kitty, but it just amazes me how we could have raised such dumb ass boys." Red scowled as he began eating.
"Oh Mr. Forman, I think for the most part you raised great boys. Eric's just a little twitchy, and Steven…well Steven is a little rash." She concluded.
"Aw man, Hyde's still got that rash? I would of thought it'd be gone by now." Kelso exclaimed as he entered through the sliding door.
"Oh no. What are you doing here, kettle head?" Red grimaced at the sight of him.
"Oh well I saw this dog on the street and I thought he was so cute so I was like 'Aw what a cute dog'. So then I started playing with him, and we were having a ton of fun and…"
"Will you get to the point before my foot gets to your ass!" Red cut off his babbling.
"Oh well, I brought him home and he trashed the house so Brooke wouldn't make me breakfast. So I drove here because Mrs. F. is such a great cook."
"You drove all the way from Chicago for my cooking? How sweet! Sit down. I'm going to make you my special chocolate chip waffles!" Kitty cheered.
"Alright!" Kelso grinned at Red who just shook his head and excused himself from the table.
Later that day, Kelso agreed to help Jackie in her apartment search. They sat quietly as he drove.
"So Michael there's some apartments for rent in a complex a couple of blocks ahead. Let's try those."
"You got it. Hey Jackie?" Kelso spoke nervously.
"Yeah Michael?" Jackie spoke absently staring out the window.
"I uh…" He hesitated momentarily "I talked to Hyde."
Jackie's attention snapped into focus "Oh really…"
"Yeah and he told me what happened…" He was cut off
"Look Michael, I don't want to talk about this." She said simply.
"But Jackie…Look Hyde told me nothing happened with that girl. He said he was going to, but he couldn't do that to you again." Kelso spoke, almost pleadingly.
"Yeah sure. That's what you guys always say." Jackie added sadly.
"Hyde wouldn't lie to me about that. He really has changed Jackie. You love each other so you should be together. Just forgive him." The honesty in Kelso's voice touched Jackie.
She smiled sadly before saying "I just don't think I can."
A few hours later Kelso dropped Jackie back off at the Forman house and headed back to Chicago. Jackie was happy that she found the perfect two bedroom apartment and put a deposit down. She rushed through the kitchen barely mouthing a hello to Kitty. She really wanted to see Will. As she made her way up to Laurie's old room she heard a familiar male voice speaking to the baby. She peeked in and watched Steven with Will.
"So little man, whatcha been up to?" Hyde asked Will, who was sitting in his playpen looking up at him with his enormous blue eyes.
"Are the girls giving you a hard time in the sandbox? The trick is to pull their pigtails. That'll set them straight." Hyde smiled as Will just gurbled a response.
"Man I miss you buddy. You got to talk to your mom for me okay? Put in a good word." Hyde's heart broke a little more as he stared down at one of his favorite people in the world. He felt an aching in the pit of his stomach as he touched Will's cheek softly.
"Well I have to get going. You be good kid, and take care of your mom." As Hyde went to stand up, Will handed him his favorite stuffed animal, a tiny brown bear.
"You want to play with Mr. Bear? Well here you go." Hyde handed the bear back, only to have Will shove it back at him.
"What you want me to keep him? Okay, you can play with him when you come visit." Hyde leaned over and kissed the little boy's forehead and Will just giggled in response. With a tear in her eye, Jackie turned the corner to avoid Hyde as he left.
The following day, Jackie took Will to the park and met up with Andrew. They were just sitting on the bench talking when Andrew leaned in. His lips collided with Jackie's urgently. At first she was unable to respond. She hadn't expected it, but after a moment she responded in the only logical way a woman can respond to a handsome man kissing her…she pulled away.
"Wait, Andrew…" She couldn't find the appropriate words.
"But I thought…I thought you liked me." He said confusedly.
"I do. Andrew, you're a great guy only…" She broke off.
"Only what?" Andrew asked curiously.
"I don't know. I just can't do this. I'm sorry." Jackie was confused herself. She really cared for Andrew, but for some reason, kissing him didn't feel right to her.
"It's okay." He spoke defeated.
"We can still be friends right?" She asked hopefully.
Andrew smiled genuinely at Jackie "Of course."
"So wait…this like amazing guy asks you out and you say no…why exactly?" Brooke asked as she rolled the lilac paint onto Jackie's new walls.
"I honestly don't know Brooke." Jackie stopped painting "It's like he kissed me and…"
"And what?" The taller woman asked curiously.
"And I don't know. There was something…missing." Jackie replied simply. "I'm not sure what exactly."
"Oh honey, I can tell you that. He's not Hyde." Brooke rolled her eyes at the obviousness of it all.
"Brooke! This has nothing to do with Steven!" Jackie insisted.
"Oh come on! Jackie you are not fooling anyone. You are and always will be absolutely head over heels in love with Steven Hyde. You can deny it till you're blue in the face, but it's true." She began painting again as if what she said were simply a comment on the weather.
"Uh!" Jackie stood there staring at Brooke, completely lost for words. "Brooke how can you possibly say I'm in love with Steven after everything he's put me through?"
Brooke sighed "Look Jackie, a person's heart is a very complicated thing. There isn't always a rhyme or reason to the choices the heart makes, but its choices are powerful, and shouldn't just be ignored." She said wisely.
Jackie pondered this for a moment "Every time I listen to my heart, I just get hurt. I'm afraid that if I follow it this time it will just get broken again."
"Sometimes that's a risk worth taking." Brooke concluded.
As the two women continued painting, all Jackie could think of was Hyde. She knew deep down that Brooke was right about her reasons for turning Andrew down, but did it even matter? So what if she still loved Hyde? It didn't mean that she could be with him. Could she really let him in again? Trust him with her heart or with the truth about Will's conception? That night had done such damage to Jackie. It threw out her sense of trust. She wasn't sure if she would ever get it back. She knew that Hyde would never hurt her physically, but he certainly had done a number on her emotionally. Jackie had no clue where to go from here.
At her next group meeting, Jackie decided to bring this subject up, hoping for some help "So this really cute guy asked me out."
"That's great Jackie." Joan replied genuinely.
"Except I sort of said no." She added sheepishly
"How come?" Joan asked curiously.
"Well, my friend Brooke thinks it's because of Steven." Jackie said quietly.
"Is it about Steven?"
"Well…I guess…It might be…" Jackie spoke confusedly. "I just don't know if I can forgive him for the things he's done."
"Why can't you try to forgive him?"
"It's just so hard." Jackie said frustrated.
"Sweetie, no one said forgiveness was easy. We here have all gone through something so traumatic, that it has threatened to harden us and take away our ability to trust and our capacity for forgiveness, but we can't let it. To make mistakes is human. To forgive is divine. I'm not saying that it will be easy by any means, but if you want to be with Steven and you truly love him, then you need to forgive him in order to start fresh."
Joan's words struck a profound chord in Jackie. How could she have expected things to really move forward with Hyde if she didn't try to forgive him for his mistakes. You can't have a future if you won't face your past. This was the most revelatory conversation of Jackie's life.
After her meeting Jackie picked up Will from the Forman's and headed to her new home. The following week she had a housewarming party and the entire gang attended, including, to Jackie's surprise, a certain curly haired man.
"Michael!" Jackie whispered, pulling Kelso aside "What is Steven doing here?"
"Damn Jackie" Kelso rubbed his arm where she had grabbed it "Look I wasn't going to ask him to come, but he was just sitting in the basement staring off into space. I swear he looked like a lost puppy, and you know I can't resist a lost puppy!"
Jackie sighed "Whatever Michael."
Both Jackie and Hyde were nervous as hell. They hadn't been in a room together for this long since she moved out. For most of the party, they stayed on the opposite side of the room, stealing glances at each other whenever the other wasn't looking. After gifts were opened and the parents vacated the party, Eric spoke up.
"Alright kiddies let's christen this place properly."
The six friends sat in the circle laughing.
"Jackie I love this color lilac you have painted your walls. It reminds me of this lovely pair of ass hugging pants I bought. They are perfect for swing dancing." Fez observed.
Hyde grimaced "Man so many parts of what you just said make me want to kick your ass."
"Yeah Fez, I think you have officially become a woman." Eric grinned widely.
"Oh you're one to talk…Rainbow!" Kelso shouted.
The group laughed and Eric frowned "Hey! It's not my fault that none of you can appreciate the art of roller disco!" He pouted and bit into a cupcake.
Donna patted Eric's shoulder "It's okay Eric. You're lack of masculinity never bothered me."
"Yeah that's because you have plenty masculinity to make up for it." Jackie spoke snidely.
"Burn!" Kelso shouted as Donna punched his arm. "Ow Damn Donna you don't have to hit. I just appreciate a good burn."
"I'm sorry we can't all be dainty little fairies off in fairyland like you Jackie." Donna said sarcastically.
"There is a fairyland?!" Fez asked with glee.
"No Donna, Jackie's not from Fairyland. She's from Hell." Eric said seriously.
"Oh shut up nerd boy!" Jackie shouted "I think we should watch The Empire Strikes Back again. I love that Han Solo. When he kisses Leah…oh it just makes me melt." Jackie smirked at the look of horror on Eric's face.
"You shut your mouth, Devil woman!" Eric squeaked loudly.
"Okay, Seriously somebody better tell me how to get to Fairyland!" Fez yelled angrily.
"Well, you should know. You are from there." Hyde grinned as he spoke.
"Burn!" Kelso shouted cheerfully.
After their circle time the gang all began leaving. Finally, all that remained were Hyde and Jackie. Hyde made his way to the door and Jackie followed. He turned and looked at her nervously.
"So…" He said softly.
"So…" She replied.
"My gifts for you and Will are in your room. I didn't want to give them to you with everyone around." He said shyly.
"Oh thank you Steven. You didn't have to get me anything." Jackie said sincerely.
"Yes I did…Jackie could we maybe just…I miss you." He blurted out.
"I miss you too Steven." A truer statement had never crossed her lips. Jackie was aching for Hyde.
"Well could we maybe talk…about us?" He asked nervously.
"Not tonight." Jackie saw his face fall "But maybe sometime soon." She added and watched his face light up.
"Really?" He asked hopefully.
"Really." Jackie smiled at his cuteness.
"Well, goodnight Jackie." Hyde said as he leaned in and kissed her cheek. There it was. That thing that was missing when Andrew kissed her, that spark that Jackie realized she had only ever felt with one other person and he was the man standing before her now.
"Goodnight Steven." She whispered.
After Hyde left Jackie cleaned up a bit and headed to her room after checking on a sleeping Will. When She got there she found two gift boxes. She opened one to find a tiny Led Zeppelin baby blanket.
She giggled. "Honestly Steven…"
When she opened the second gift box she found a beautiful porcelain jewelry box. It was pink and purple and had unicorns on it. In other words, it was very Jackie.
"Oh Steven." She touched her hand to her heart.
Jackie made her way to the nursery and placed the Zeppelin blanket into Will's crib. Maybe Brooke and Joan were right. Maybe it was time for forgiveness. After all, though Hyde had given her a lot of pain over the years, he had given her much more joy. And that is something her heart would not let her forget.
To be continued…
A/N: Hope you liked it. It was a transitional chapter, but very important. You will want to REVIEW because the next two chapters are HUGE, and reviews are my incentive to write! So take the hint and REVIEW!!
