Chapter 8
Elsa sat at her father's study table, surrounded by scrolls and books. She hunched on her seat, her eyes squinting, as she read yet another agreement that had been signed by her father. Her vision blurred and she leaned back as she rubbed her eyes. The back of her chair was against a tall window which was closed but with the curtains secured at the sides. She closed her eyes and heard the sounds of birds chirping outside the window. She turned around, surprised. Sunlight streamed through the window. Wasn't it night the last time she looked out of the same window? Had she read throughout the night again without knowing?
Elsa looked at the plate of food that was placed just beyond her reach. One of the servants had come in earlier asking if she wanted her dinner. Elsa had not felt hungry then and had asked for soup and fruits instead. She looked at the soup, cold and untouched, and was about to reach for an apple when someone knocked on the door.
"Come in," she said.
The door opened slightly, and a servant, a different one from the one who had come into the room the night before, popped her head in.
"Excuse me, Your -"
"Yes?" Elsa cut her off before the servant could call her Your Majesty. They have been calling her Your Majesty. But she was not their majesty. Their majesties were her parents, who were still alive and most probably stranded somewhere on an island, their eyes anxiously scanning the horizon for sight of a vessel. She was just a representative, filling in for them until a ship passed by that secluded island and rescued them.
"Breakfast is ready, and Princess Anna is waiting for you in the dining hall."
She threw her head back and closed her eyes again, a soft groan escaping her lips.
Anna.
She did not want to see Anna.
She wanted to see Anna. She wanted to sit next to her sister and talk to her. She wanted to sit on a chair and let Anna braided her hair, or to braid Anna's hair, like what they used to do when they were younger. She wanted to listen to Anna as she talked non-stop on how she spent her days and the things that she did. She wanted to ride on a horse and explore and towns and mountains with her little sister. She wanted to lie on a bed next to Anna and talked until they both fell asleep.
She wanted to do all these things. But she could not. Because she had no idea when a sudden sound or a topic would trigger her powers and injured her sister. She had no idea when will the temperature in the room dropped and when would a blizzard swept through the room.
The only time when she felt safe was when she was in her father's study room, surrounded by all the books and records. She had spent more time in this room than in her new bedroom, or any other room in the castle since she was back. She never had an outburst when she was in the study room.
Not a single time.
She even managed to have tea, albeit a short session, with Anna in the study room, though her heart and mind were thinking more about the monthly expenditure records that she had read before tea than what Anna was saying. Anna seemed to realize that too, and she had excused herself soon after, leaving Elsa to her work again.
It was ironic, how the solution to stopping her powers, no, her curse, was simply to bury her in books and boring trade agreements. It was a pity that no one suggested that more than a decade ago. She would never have to leave the castle if they had tried that. She would never have to leave her family. And maybe her parents would not be missing.
She gave a short, bitter laugh.
"Your Majesty?"
"Yes?" She had forgotten why the servant was there.
"Princess Anna is waiting for you at the dining hall." The servant reminded her.
She heaved herself out of the big heavy chair with some difficulty. Her muscles protested, having stayed in almost the same position the whole night. She needed a break.
"I'll be there."
Elsa went back to her room and washed up. She changed into another dress before she made her way to the dining hall. As she walked towards the dining hall, half of her heart wished that Anna would be gone by the time she was there. The other half wished that her sister would still be there, but dreaded the outcome. She rubbed her arms as she turned back and looked around. The surrounding suddenly seemed colder.
"Oh there you are!" A cheerful voice said. Elsa turned back and saw a familiar freckled face with strawberry blonde hair popped out of the door to the dining hall. "I thought that you will never come!" The face moved, and the rest of the body came into view as Anna came out of the door and walked towards her.
"Breakfast is waiting," she said in a sing-song voice as she held Elsa by the elbow and pulled her towards the dining hall. Anna shivered slightly.
"Brrrr, why is it so cold here?" She looked around and then gave Elsa another tug. "Come on, faster. I can hear the soup calling your name."
Elsa could not help but smile.
To her surprise, the hall was not empty. There was somebody there. Kristoff and…
"Sven?"
Her surprise must have shown on her face because Kristoff stood up immediately. Even Sven had the decency to turn red. Kristoff tried to explain.
"Your Majesty…"
"Elsa."
"Elsa, I know that I am not supposed to – "
"It's fine."
"It's not Anna's fault –"
"It's alright to have Sven…"
"He's clean. He just had a bath yesterday –"
"Kristoff, I said that it's –"
"I can clean up the place after this –"
"Kristoff!"
The last word came from Anna, who had a hand on his mouth to stop his blabbing.
"Elsa said it's fine to have Sven here," she repeated next to his ear. "And you don't need to clean up the place and you won't be banished from Arendelle."
"Oh," was his reply as he looked at Anna sheepishly.
A servant appeared the moment Elsa sat down and laid the cutlery. She helped herself to a piece of bread from the basket in front of her. Anna slid onto the chair next to her.
"You're eating too little," Anna commented as she took another piece of the bread and spread some butter on it. "Here," she put it on her sister's plate. "You need to eat more."
Elsa laughed. She had forgotten how much she missed Anna's cheerfulness and spontaneity.
"Elsa, Kristoff and I are thinking of going to the hills today," Anna said after a while. "The flowers are blooming and I will like to pick some flowers to decorate the vases along the hallways. Do you want to come along?"
She looked out of the window. The sun was shining brightly and the sky was blue. There was a gentle breeze and from where she was, she could smell the sea and the grass. It was a lovely day.
"Kristoff and Sven will be there too," Anna told her.
He would be able to stop her before anything went out of hand.
Elsa smiled at her sister. "I'll go."
The girls changed into their riding wear and took a horse each from the stables. Anna had her own horse, a white horse with long silky mane. The horse was named Chestnut not for its colour, but after its strange choice of favourite snack. Elsa chose a black horse named Star, recommended by the head groom for its gentle personality. Kristoff rode on Sven.
They made their way across the marketplace on their way to the hills. It was late morning, but the market was still bustling with activities. There were people selling flowers, groceries and necessities. Friends greeted one another and sellers and buyers haggled over the prices. Hardly anyone took a second look at the group as they went past. For those who did, some would recognize Princess Anna, and they waved to her, not realizing who the fair beauty next to her was.
Anna led the way, bringing them to a path just outside the marketplace which led up the hills. The hills changed from green to a myriad of colours as they went higher. And just as suddenly, the hill opened up to a plateau and Anna stopped in front of a big strong tree.
Elsa looked around. The hill was covered with flowers. There was a patch of pink, another patch of yellow, and then another patch of mixed colours. She could see Arendelle stretching out below them, the houses and streets like tiny toys. Even the castle looked small in the distance. Next to Arendelle, the sea stretched to the horizon, its waters sparkling under the sun. There were a few large vessels approaching the shore.
Behind them, the hills went higher, and further behind, the mountains of Arendelle soared into the skies, their year-round white peaks a contrast to the summer in the air. Arendelle was beautiful throughout the seasons, but Elsa always thought that Arendelle was most beautiful in the summer.
"Isn't this beautiful?" Anna asked as she tied the two horses to the tree.
Elsa agreed. Sven thought that the flowers tasted good.
The two girls walked among the flowers, picking the freshest blooms and putting them into their baskets.
When their baskets were full, the two of them sat down on the grass. There were a few fluffy clouds floating in the sky. Elsa lay down and closed her eyes, her arms behind her head. She could feel the warmth from the sun on her face and it felt good. It felt like summer was going to last forever.
Something tickled her nose. She wrinkled her nose and the sensation left, only to come back with a vengeance.
"Elsa…"
She opened her eyes. Elsa hovered over her, a flower in her hand and a mischievous grin on her face.
"Look what did I make for you!" she said excitedly as she lifted a crown of flowers with her hands. It was only then that Elsa noticed that Anna had something similar on her hair. Anna placed the crown on Elsa's head when she sat up and exclaimed, "You looked beautiful!"
"Kristoff!" she waved to the ice-harvester who was a distance away.
Kristoff, who was busy chewing a leaf in his mouth, turned around and saw the sisters.
"Don't we look gorgeous?" she asked as she wrapped an arm around Elsa's shoulders and batted her eyelids.
Kristoff blushed.
Anna laughed at his reaction, and took out the crown before swinging it towards his general direction. The crown of flowers sailed above his head, just slightly out of his reach. He chased after the flowers.
"Isn't he adorable, Elsa," Anna said, still laughing.
A smile graced Elsa's lips.
"You know. He is not like the other guys I've met. The rest of them, they just 'Princess Anna' this and 'Princess Anna' that. They are so stiff and proper and I just don't know if they are nice to me because I am the princess. But Kristoff. He is easy to talk to. He is so genuine and sincere. There is no pretense at all."
"You like him." Elsa stated matter-of-factly.
Anna turned and looked at her sister.
"Oh, I don't know. He's nice, he's shy." She gave a nervous grin. "Do you think this could be love?"
"Love?"
"Yes, love. You know, true love? Soul mates? Thunder and lightning? Have you ever experienced that before?"
Elsa kept quiet.
Anna noticed the sudden change in her demeanor. She scooted closer to her sister.
"Have you?"
Elsa did not reply, but just hugged her knees.
"Who is he?"
"His name is Jack," she found herself saying. "He is always there when I am sad. He always knows how to cheer me up. He always knows what was in my mind."
She did not notice her sister's eyes widened in awe.
"Is he handsome?" Anna whispered.
Elsa shook her head. "I don't know."
"You don't know? Why? Do you only meet at night?"
Elsa shook her head again.
"Is he a pen friend?"
She shook her head again. "I… I have never seen his face before." She did not know how to explain further.
"Wow, this is so romantic."
Elsa laughed bitterly. "The last time we met, we … we kind of quarreled over something. He got angry and left. I don't think we will ever meet again."
"Do you miss him?"
Elsa nodded, unable to say it out loud. But she felt that little ache in her heart. The ache that she thought was getting lesser when she thought of him, and then suddenly it would flare up again. Today was one of those days.
Anna stood up and looked at the ground around them. She plucked something from the ground and passed it to Elsa.
It was a dandelion.
"You know, my friend told me that if you manage to blow all the seeds off a dandelion in one breath, the person that you love will love you back. So let's get him back," Anna said, a determined look on her face.
"It's a myth, Anna," Elsa told her.
"My friend told me it's true. Try it," she coaxed her sister.
Elsa smiled at her sister. She lifted the dandelion, and blew at the flower as she thought of Jack. The seeds scattered, and the two sisters watched with wonder as a gentle breeze picked up the seeds and lifted them high into the air.
"It's working," Anna clapped her hands in delight.
"Errr, Elsa? Anna?" Kristoff shouted. He was at the edge of the plateau, his back to them.
"Yes, Kristoff?" Elsa stood up. There was something worrying in his voice.
"There are soldiers coming towards us. I think they are looking for you."
They found her parents. Washed up on the shore of one of the remote islands of the Southern Isles. The bodies had been in the waters for too long and were beyond recognition, but the clothing and jewelries were more or less intact.
Elsa stood in the throne room, her face impassive. One of the princes from the Southern Isles was in front of her, a black cushion on his hands. On the cushion were the clothings, gently washed and folded neatly. They were sleepwear. There were holes and stripes on the fabric, bites made by marine animals and ripped by the ferocity that was Mother Nature. On top of the fabric were a pair of matching rings. The storm had struck in the middle of the night and sank the ship within an hour. The crew must have been caught unaware. She imagined her parents coming out of their cabin in their sleepwear, trying to find out what happened. They would have no jewelry with them, except for the wedding rings which they never took off. The same pair of rings that were now presented to her.
Gus, her father's advisor, tried to say anything while he pretended to cough behind her.
"The *cough* rings *cough* *cough*."
Elsa nodded slightly. She never needed his confirmation. She would recognize those rings anywhere. An image flashed through her mind. Her parents standing in front of a window, laughing over something. And then her father had taken his wife's hand and kissed the wedding ring. Her mother had blushed, a beautiful reddening of her cheeks before she kissed her husband and leaned against him, her hand on his chest.
"These are their belongings, Prince Hans," she said, her voice emotionless. "The Kingdom of Arendelle thank you for bringing back our beloved King and Queen."
Prince Hans nodded. "My condolences, Your Majesty. Please let us know if there is anything we can do - "
"No," she replied abruptly and left the room, unable to stay there a moment longer.
No, there's nothing you can do. It's too late. It's too late for anything.
She walked briskly along the hall, wanting to be alone. She was about to reach her room when she saw Anna and Kristoff sitting in front of her door. The duo jumped up the moment they saw Elsa. Anna opened her mouth, wanting to ask the question, but she stopped. There was no need to ask, because the answer was so clearly written on Elsa's face.
Anna covered her face with her hands and turned to Kristoff as the first sob escaped her. The ice harvester stiffened, and then wrapped an arm around the girl, pulling her closer to him. His other hand gentle on Anna's shoulder as she shook involuntarily, crying her heart out. He looked at Elsa, and then reached out that hand towards Elsa.
"I'm sorry," he said, wanting to comfort Elsa too, but she was standing too far away.
And then she remembered.
The shooting star.
"I'm sorry…" she whispered, her fingers to her lips.
"What?" Kristoff asked. Anna, who was still crying in his arms, was too distraught to hear anything.
"It's my fault."
"What?" Kristoff was confused.
"It's my fault. I make a wish, Kristoff!" She clenched her fists. "I make a wish on a shooting star! I wish that I can see Anna again! Don't you see?" She raised a fist to her heart. "My parents will never let me meet her. There is no way I can meet Anna again unless they die. Don't you see? They died because I make a wish, Kristoff. They died because I want to meet Anna again. They died because of me! I killed them!"
Elsa fled.
She ran blindly through the corridors, not knowing where she went. She ran as fast as she could. Around her, she could feel the air getting colder. She could feel a thin sheet of ice spreading across the marble floor and she nearly slipped on the ice. She ran, and then burst through a door into one of the smaller gardens in the castle.
She ran to the edge of the garden and then shoved her hands into the soil. Ice spread across the top of the soil. She pulled out her hands and plunged them in again, into the frozen soil. The icicles cut into her skin. She did this again and again, until her hands were all bloody and she had no strength anymore.
The Queen of Arendelle collapsed upon the layer of soil and ice, too tired to even cry.
In a land far north from Arendelle, there was a place which housed millions of toys. It was a place which every child dreamed of but which none had ever visited. There was a room in the topmost floor of that place. Inside the room was a boy. Only that he was not a boy. His face was youthful, but his hair was silvery white. He was only seventeen, but he had lived for hundreds of year. His name was Jack Frost and he had been sleeping for a long time.
A gentle breeze blew in through the open window. It was not alone. It brought with it a few silvery strands, almost the same colour as Jack's hair. But these were not hair, they were dandelion seeds. The seeds drifted through the air and toward the bed. One of the seeds caressed his cheek. It was gentle, almost like a lover's touch.
Jack's eyes fluttered open.
