Ninja Karaoke
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.
I need a song for Gekkou Hayate. Also known as the man who coughs every second sentence. I need a good song for him, but there's only Gai before him. If I don't get one for him, I'll have to skip him completely. I'm already skipping characters so I don't want to skip anymore! T-T
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"NNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXTTTTTTTTTTT UUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPP…" Tsunade's grin fades. "No!" she cries. Everyone is surprised to see her panic slightly. "Naruto…you make the announcement…I'm gonna hide now…"
"Huh?" Naruto grabs the list and widens his eyes. "Next up is Gai-sensei…" Everyone laughs (minus Gai and Lee) at how Tsunade had panicked.
"AWLRIGHT!" Gai cheers.
"NOOOO!" Tsunade cries pitifully.
Everyone watches as Tsunade bolts off the stage and into the farthest corner with a large bottle of sake. Then Gai walks onto the stage and over to the karaoke machine. Ever so horridly, 80's disco music fills the room.
"Body...wanna feel my body?
Body...such a thrill my body
Body...wanna touch my body?
Body...it's too much my body
check it out my body, body.
Don't you doubt my body, body?
Talkin' bout my body, body,
check it out my body" Gai sings happily and, much to the horror of EVERYONE (even Lee) in the room, he dances to it as well. 'Kakashi will not beat me in this!'
"S-Sensei?" Lee splutters. He uses every bit of energy and strength he has to keep his hands away from his ears and eyes. 'I have to watch this…Sensei would want me…to…' The poor boy shuddered at every pelvic thrust the man did.
"Lee! Cover your eyes!" Ten-Ten cries, uncovering hers to look at her teammate. "Even Neji is covering his…and his byakkugan is not activated!" he tries to cover Lee's eyes herself, but he pushes her away. "I'll be right back!"
"SAKURA!" Ten-Ten hurries over to the pink-haired medic. "You need to get Lee to cover his eyes! He's just to loyal to do that!"
"Oh, Lee!" Sakura then hurries with Ten-Ten to where the two rivals are standing, one being loyal to his mentor, the other one saving his own virgin eyes.
"Every man wants to be a macho, macho man
to have the kind of body, always in demand
Jogging in the mornings, go man go
works out in the health spa, muscles glow
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
ready to get down with, anyone he can"
"Lee! Cover your eyes!" Sakura orders quietly. She shakes Lee out of his disgusted stupor.
"B-but…I can't insult Gai-Sensei…" Lee tells her, aghast that she'd even suggest such a thing. "I'm sorry…but…I can't…" Lee flinches at each move Gai makes. "Ok…YES I CAN!" Ten-Ten and Sakura sigh as he puts his hands over his eyes before following in suit.
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! OW!"
"Oh, Gai…you're really harming your already partial dead image here…" Kakashi murmurs to Sasuke. Both have their forehead protectors pulled over both eyes.
"Hn…" Sasuke agrees.
"Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)
I've got to be a macho!" Gai sings, not noticing that everyone in the room has their eyes covered.
"Body, it's so hot, my body,
Body, love to pop my body,
Body, love to please my body,
Body, don't you tease my body,
Body, you'll adore my body,
Body, come explore my body,
Body, made by God, my body,
Body, it's so good, my body"
"GOD!" Orochimaru snaps coldly to Kabuto. "When will he shut up?" he curses out.
"Well…the song is close to 5 minutes and 30 seconds…" Kabuto admits. He had taken his glasses off. (I'm not sure if he needs them to see, but in this fan fiction he does! XD)
"No…" Oro murmurs sadly.
"You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk
his western shirts and leather, always look so boss
Funky with his body, he's a king
call him Mister Eagle, dig his chains
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand"
"I…WILL…KILL…HIM!" Anko screams. Luckily Genma and Asuma hold him back. "LET ME GO! I GOT TO KILL A STUPID IDIOT THAT'S ON THE STAGE!" Kurunai is covering the 2nd exam proctor's eyes.
"Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)
Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (All right)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! All Right!"
"Make him...stop…" Kiba growls out, covering his ears and just keeping his eyes closed. "MAKE HIM STOP!" He falls to the grown, whimpering pitifully.
Hinata kneels next to the boy. "It's g-going to be ok, K-Kiba-kun!" she says, hoping she's correct. 'Poor Kiba-kun's ears are more sensitive than everyone else's!'
"Ugh! Macho...baby!
Body, body, body wanna feel my body,
Body, body, body gonna thrill my body,
Body, body, body don'tcha stop my body,
Body, body, body it's so hot my body"
"Erg…" Deidara has his eyes shut and his hand over his mouth. "I think I'm going to be…sick…Itachi-sama!" he whines. Tears of torture run down his face.
"There, there…it'll be over soon…" Itachi coos, rubbing the ex-stone ninja's back gently. He didn't get mad at the girly-boy for calling his 'sama' since Deidara was actually looking kind off green.
"Every man ought to be a macho, macho man, Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand,
Have their own life style and ideals,
Possess the strength and confidence, life's a steal,
You can best believe that he's a macho man
He's a special person in anybody's land.
Macho, macho man (macho man)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (Dig the hair on my chest)"
"Why me?" Tsunade sobs, hugging Ton-Ton tightly for support. Even the pig was shuddering in disgust.
" Macho, macho man (dig my muscles!) Macho, macho man
Macho, macho man (see my big thick eyebrows)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (Dig broad shoulders)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho!
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! HEY!"
"FINALLY!" Everyone cries, unveiling his or her eyes carefully.
Gai cries as he walks over to a lonely corner. "But…but…WAHHH!" Everyone feels slightly bad for the taijutsu ninja, but they don't say anything since pain stays strong.
"N…next up…" Tsunade chokes. "Is–"
I will wait a week for ideas for Gekkou Hayate, if I don't get any good ones…I'll have to skip him and go straight to Genma…
