Opening Note: There is no opening note., Neo. Break free of your preconseptions and escape from the matrix...

Or keep reading, it's all the same to us.

Enjoy!

Chapter 8: Yukari is Sleepy.

As Ranma, Ukyo and Konatsu returned to the party, they were all surprised by a blur which raced at the older woman, bouncing up and down rapidly. "Hey, can we get some cake now? Huh?" Tomo asked and then pumped her arm.

Ukyo looked over at Ranma, as if to ask what was wrong with this girl, but got only a shrug in response. "Well, I could go get it out of the fridge, if Sakaki's done with her gifts," the redhead offered, looking over to where her daughter was sitting, and only flinching a little as she saw that she was clutching her big stuffed cat, along with a similar dog that she'd gotten from somewhere, and was talking animatedly, for her, with Chiyo and Yomi.

Tomo nodded rapidly, not really caring why the twelve year old was serving the food, just so long as she got some, and Ranma couldn't help but smirk at her energy as she entered the kitchen.

At the table, she saw Shampoo sitting with Yukari, both of them drinking small amounts of the house's ceremonial sake. "Shampoo, what are you doing with that out at Sakaki's birthday party?" the little redhead asked, glaring.

"Stupid teacher woman not leave Shampoo alone, and not allowed to kill." The Amazon pouted.

Ranma just shook her head, walking over to the refrigerator and pulling a large cake out from the bottom shelf, before turning to leave the kitchen. "Have fun, just don't come out there while drunk," she declared.

"Hey, there's the cake!" Tomo said, as Ranma exited the kitchen holding it.

"Mmmh, that looks good," Osaka observed, grinning widely, as Mousse, who had just been showing off his hidden weapons in the disguise of a magic show for Chiyo, pulled a set of paper plates from nowhere.

Ranma merely smirked, and set the cake down on the table in the middle of the room. "So, are we going to sing that old American song?" she asked, and saw Sakaki starting to blush.

"Ah don't think my English is that good," Osaka said, unsure, but Ranma shook her head.

"Come on, we've got to embarrass her," she chirped, grinning evilly at her daughter.

At the side of the room, Ukyo and Konatsu watched on, a look of concern over the okonomiyaki chef's face. "Why is she acting so... happy?" she asked.

Konatsu shook his head. "It's Sakaki's birthday, she doesn't want to ruin it," he said, simply.

"Yeah, but... I don't know if I could do that," Ukyo said, looking at her former spouse steadily.

"According to what Ranma-sama said, she has had three years to come to terms with this," Konatsu reminded, gently.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Ukyo agreed, "but why is that other woman with dark hair giving me the evil eye?"

Konatsu shrugged. "I can't imagine," he returned, levelly, as the rest of the room burst into a rousing and badly sung chorus of "Happy birthday," Sakaki turning redder and redder as it went.

HR.

"Wake up!" Ranma snapped, shaking the lump that was sprawled over the table.

"Don' wanna," it groaned back, swatting the young girl's hand away.

"I'm really sorry about this," Nyamo said, blushing in embarrassment at what her fellow teacher was causing, as Yukari resolutely continued to sleep.

"I carry teacher for you," Shampoo offered, trying to stand from her chair and falling back into it with a muffled hiccup.

"Yeah, right," Ranma returned. "How much of that sake did you have?"

"Shampoo have only quarter of bottle," the Amazon objected, hotly.

"It was a four liter bottle!" Ranma yelled back, shocked. "Mousse, can you get her home?"

"Yes, Matriarch," the blind man said, not really being able to help grinning at the situation, as he slung one of Shampoo's arms over his shoulder and started for the back door.

"Stupid Mousse, Shampoo walk fine by self," the purple haired woman said, though she could actually be seen snuggling in closer to the taller man's chest.

"Wow, she must be drunk," Ranma quipped, and then turned back to Yukari. "You aren't going to move, are you?"

"Nope," Yukari answered, that having been her only coherent utterance in the past four hours, before slumping to the table again.

Ranma sighed. "Fine, then sleep on the table, but if you even think of throwing up all over my kitchen, I'll be forced to do something you'll regret," she threatened.

As she turned to re-enter the living room, now devoid of all of the guests, and Sakaki who was walking Chiyo home, Ranma felt a hand land on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Nyamo looking down at her.

"Again, I'm sorry about Yukari, I'll help clean up here while I wait for her to wake up, if you'll let me," the gym teacher said, politely.

Ranma looked around the mess of a living room, knowing that it would have to be cleaned eventually, and that it would take a long time for her to do it. "Thank you," she said, and then began to get to work, her teacher working next to her.

The room was silent for several minutes, before the redhead spoke. "So, how did you suddenly find out?" she asked, casually, as she studied several large spikes that were holding up a line of decorations.

Nyamo twitched, almost dropping a stereo she'd picked up and was moving to the center table. "Find out what?" she asked, nervously.

Ranma shook her head. "The last few times I talked to you, you haven't been treating me like a cute little kid, which means that you found out something."

"I..." Nyamo said, uncertainly. "I was confused," She looked apologetic, "with how Ukyo-san was acting towards you, I was worried that she was... doing... things," she didn't clarify any further, "to one of my students."

Ranma choked, dropping a spike to the floor and starting to chuckle. "Yeah, I guess I never thought of how that looked," she admitted.

"I know now that it was a private discussion, and I'm sorry for intruding.," Nyamo said, and bowed.

"Not really your fault, I guess," Ranma replied. "Konatsu knew you were there, now that I think about it, and he didn't say anything."

"He?" Nyamo asked, blinking.

"Konatsu, the guy in the kunoichi outfit," Ranma responded.

"Oh, that was a..." the teacher said, before shaking her head. "I think I'm going to get back to work."

Ranma nodded, but then said, "I've still got to go to your classes, you know. Hinako-Sensei's got me pretty stuck."

Nyamo nodded. "I will try to keep your... special situation in mind," she offered.

"Thanks." Ranma said, smiling gratefully.

HR.

Mousse finally arrived on the street in front of the Neko-Hanten, the lights gleaming off of his glasses as he moved awkwardly towards the door, Shampoo slung over his left shoulder, and snoring happily. "Shampoo, you're beautiful, but a lot heavier than you look," the master of hidden weapons grunted, kicking at the front door to the restaurant until it finally opened from the other side, revealing Cologne, who was staring at the two of them in a state of annoyance.

"I was having a good dream, you know," the old woman said.

"Sorry, Elder," Mousse said, before stepping into the empty main room of the place.

Cologne looked over her great granddaughter. "That must have been some party," she quipped, smelling the alcohol on the younger woman's breath. "I wish I had been able to go, rather than minding the store."

"Shampoo spent most of it getting drunk with one of Sakaki-san's teachers," Mousse said, starting for the Amazon's bedroom to put her to bed. "I think she got into a drinking contest and refused to admit she'd won even after the other contestant had passed out."

Cologne chuckled. "That sounds like Shampoo, all right," she agreed.

A few minutes later, after Mousse had deposited Shampoo on her bed, he turned to start out of the restaurant. As he was about to leave, something struck him. When he'd seen Ukyo, Ranma and Sakaki interacting as a family, he'd realized that both he and Shampoo didn't really have much time left to start one themselves, if they could. "Cologne?" he asked, surprising the old woman due to the fact that he hadn't given her a title or insulted her.

"Yes, Mousse?" Cologne asked, from where she was sitting on the counter.

"Tell Shampoo that I officially challenge for the right to marry her, I will be back in two weeks," Mousse returned, steadily, though his eyes were nervous behind his glasses.

Much to his surprise, Cologne didn't seem angry, or even really surprised when she responded. "I'll do that, Mousse."

The duck cursed man nodded, before turning and walking out of the restaurant, letting the door swing closed behind him.

HR.

Ranma stood next to the table in the kitchen of the Kuonji household, a pot in one hand and a spoon in the other. "All right, wake up!" she called, reaching out with one foot while balancing on the other in order to poke the sleeping, likely hangover ridden, form of Yukari.

"Ngh," Yukari groaned, rolling slightly in her chair to get away from the foot, but somehow not falling off.

"All right, you asked for it," Ranma declared, moving the pot next to the woman's head and starting to smack it with the spoon.

"Gya!" Yukari screamed, as the sound seemed to explode into her head, bouncing around her brain several times, and ringing in her ears.

"Glad you're awake," Ranma said, smiling innocently at the older woman, as she rubbed her head.

"You..." Yukari snarled, turning to the twelve year old, who was standing there and looking as cute as she possibly could, the pot and spoon having disappeared somewhere. "Why did you do that!" she screamed, reaching out and grabbing Ranma before shaking her by the shoulders. She quickly began to regret this, however, as the world started to spin around her with the hangover. "Ngh, I don't feel so well." She moaned, softly, letting go of Ranma and putting her head back down on the table.

"You and Shampoo had a little drinking contest last night," Ranma explained.

"Did I win?" Yukari asked, hopefully.

"You lost three saucers to seven, and I think Shampoo may have re-used some of hers," the younger girl said, shaking her head.

"Oh, then I guess there's no real point getting up," Yukari decided, and closed her eyes.

"You do realize it's a school day, right?" Ranma returned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What?" Yukari yelled. "I'm late! I've got to go!" As she shot out of her seat, stumbling towards the kitchen door and incidentally smacking against the edge of the counter, Ranma wondered if she should tell her that it was about 6:45. 'Nah,' she thought, watching the older woman rapidly try and get her shoes on, before scooping her purse up from beside the door and running out into the early morning light.

"Did you have to make so much noise?" Sakaki asked, standing at the base of the stairs.

"Yes, yes I did." Ranma said, deadpan, as her daughter walked into the kitchen. Ranma moved out of the doorway, heading for the fridge to get some supplies for breakfast, as the taller girl started pulling out plates.

"So," she said, "did you have fun yesterday?"

Sakaki nodded, a small smile flitting across her face as she recalled everything that they'd done, though Yomi's singing could have been missed. "It was good to see Dad again, too."

"Yeah," Ranma said, though Sakaki noticed that her voice had gotten a little fainter when she'd said it.

"Mom, is there something wrong?" She asked, turning to the redhead and looking her over. That was when she noticed that there was no silver band at the smaller girl's neck, where she knew her wedding ring had always hung. She'd never asked why Ranma kept it on a chain there rather than on her finger, though now that she thought about it, it had probably not fit either form's finger by some point. "...Where's your necklace?" She asked, her stomach beginning to sink.

The little redhead sighed. "Damn, I was hoping I would be able to put this off until this afternoon," she griped. "Sakaki, yesterday Ukyo told me that she..." She trailed off, not really wanting to tell her daughter what had really happened, but not able to think up a lie. "Ever since I was locked in this form, Ukyo's been a lot more... distant," she finally started. "Yesterday she finally asked for a divorce."

"Dad..." Sakaki said, raising a hand to her mouth. She really didn't know what to think. She'd never seen her other parent all that often, as Ukyo was always traveling around, serving okonomiyaki all over the country, but she'd always known that he, now known as she, would be back to see the family. Now, though, "She told you yesterday?" she asked, to clarify.

Ranma nodded. "I didn't want to have to tell you something like that on your birthday, so I wanted to wait until after classes today," she explained. "We'll be filing the papers to make it official whenever I get back to normal, but I've already told Ukyo that I'm keeping you, unless..." She looked down. "Would you like to go with her?"

Sakaki's eyes widened. "Mom, of course I want to stay with you!" she said, loudly, genuinely shocking Ranma with the vehemence of the outburst, before bending down and hugging the short redhead tightly.

"Come on, we've got to get breakfast cooked," Ranma said, reluctantly pulling away from the hug.

"Right," Sakaki agreed, though thoughts kept running through her mind as she worked, mostly wondering what she was going to do now.

HR.

When Sakaki entered class 3-1, she saw that the only other person there was Yukari, passed out at her desk. She briefly wondered about that, but shrugged it off as she walked to her seat, setting her newly obtained giant spatula against the back of her chair.

Taking a book out of her backpack, she started reading, preparing for the mid-term and trying her best to ignore the world around her. About thirty minutes later, she heard the sounds of the majority of the students entering the room, and put her book away, staring towards the front of the board.

When Yukari remained face-down on her desk, leaving them all staring at the blackboard in silence, Tomo finally snapped, "Hey! What's going on! Wake up!" She yelled.

"Hmm, 45 seconds," Yomi observed, pushing a button on her watch as Yukari-sensei's head rose from the table, looking around the classroom with a bloodshot glare of death.

"She's scary," Chiyo whispered, though as everyone had gone dead silent, she was heard quite well.

"So, you want something to do, huh?" the teacher asked, the words croaking out as though she hadn't talked in years. "Pop Quiz, to help you out with the mid-terms!" Reaching into her desk, she removed her emergency stash of other teachers' tests, and slammed it on the table.

"What?" Tomo exclaimed, shocked.

"That's right, and I think this quiz will be on your final mark, too," Yukari said, vindictively. As she heard the groans of the crowd, she continued, "Don't blame me, it was Sakaki's party."

"But that..." Sakaki started, but trailed off, as she realized that there was no real point in protesting. Sighing, she stood, walking to the front of the room to grab one of the test papers and noticing with irritation that Yukari had passed out again.

A few minutes later, Tomo sat in her desk, her eyes shooting around the room for anything that would give her the answer to the question she was on. "Urg, I really should have studied more," she groaned, dropping her head onto her paper for a moment.

Looking up again, she saw what looked like a gleam of metal from nearby. It was on Sakaki's chair, the giant spatula she'd gotten the day before. "Oh, that's neat," she said, apparently letting her attention wander from the quiz that she really didn't want to think about. Looking up to ensure that Yukari was still asleep, she crept over to Sakaki's seat, where the older girl was engrossed in answering an essay question, and poked at the spatula's blade. It made a soft chiming sound as her fingernail banged against it.

"Neat," she muttered, and reached out again, just as Sakaki was turning to see who was behind her. The larger girl shot a hand out to stop Tomo, but it was too late as she ran her finger down the length of the razor sharp edge of the blade.

"Ack!" Tomo yelped, a bright line of red running across her index finger, and starting to bleed. "That's sharp!"

Apparently, this was yelled far too loudly, as Yukari's head rose from her desk again, and she glared around the room. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Ma'am, I just cut myself on this!" Tomo said, grabbing the spatula by the handle and lifting it to show the teacher, paying no mind to the fact that some of her blood was dripping down the haft.

Yukari's eyes widened. "Sakaki, you brought that to class?" she asked, suddenly much more awake.

"Um," The black haired girl said, starting to dig through her bag.

"Don't explain, just go to the principal's office," the older woman snapped, pointing at Sakaki.

Sakaki ignored the teacher for a moment, causing Yukari's eyebrow to twitch, before withdrawing her hand from her bag with a piece of paper, which she walked up to the front of the class and handed to Yukari.

The teacher took a moment to read the note, and then her eye started to twitch. "This doesn't even make sense! How in the world... She has to be..." She gave up in disgust, and then said, "Take Tomo down to the nurse's office, and then come back here, I really don't care."

Sakaki nodded, and walked over to Tomo. "I'm sorry, but you really shouldn't have touched that," she said, quietly.

"Yeah, probably," Tomo returned, grinning, and then wincing as a pulse of pain came from her finger, "but at least I got out of that quiz!"

Sakaki just sweat dropped and started for the door.

HR.

"Hey, Ranma," Kagura said from across the threshold, "thanks for letting me come over to study with you."

"No problem," the small redhead replied, ushering the chronologically younger girl inside. "I probably need to brush up on some of this anyways, since I haven't done some of it in years." Plus, it was a good way for her to take her mind off of other things, though she didn't say that aloud. "So, where would you like to start?"

"How are you doing in English? Half of what Yukari-sensei says doesn't make very much sense," Kagura admitted sheepishly.

"Well, I'm pretty good speaking it, but my handwriting kind of sucks," Ranma replied, wincing as she recalled all of the tests she'd failed due to that fact. "So I guess we can work on that easily enough while we take breaks from the harder stuff. How are you doing in math?"

"Heh heh, I'm pretty much failing," the tanned girl laughed weakly.

"All right, we'll start with that, then," Ranma decided. "Come on, I've got drinks in the living room."

The two girls went to the living room, Kagura noticing that there were a few holes in the walls. When she saw her looking at them, Ranma scratched the back of her head. "Sakaki's birthday party was yesterday," She explained.

Kagura wanted to ask how that caused holes in the walls, but decided against it and poured herself a glass of juice from the pitcher on the coffee table, Ranma doing the same a moment later. "All right, let's get to work," Ranma declared, pulling several books out from under the table.

As time went on, Kagura continually flipped back and forth in her textbook, her frustration growing with each turn of the page. Finally, her patience snapped. "Grah! Why can't I get this?" she despaired. "I've read this chapter ten times already, but it still doesn't make any sense!"

"Wait," Ranma said, holding up a hand. "You mean you've only been studying the book, without doing any of the problems?"

"Well, yeah," Kagura replied. "You mean we're supposed to do those?"

"We have homework for a reason, Kagura," the redhead sighed. "Try to do some problems and I'll see where you're making any mistakes, okay?"

"Hey, thanks, Ranma," Kagura said cheerfully before settling down to work out one of the problems. Ten minutes later, she slid the paper back to Ranma.

Looking over the page, the redhead said, "Ah, I see what you did. You need to solve for a single variable before you can work on finding the answer."

"Oh, that makes sense," Kagura agreed. "Let me try again."

"No problem," Ranma said. "I would have really liked to have had help like this when I was in college," She laughed, recalling hours upon hours of working on problems that refused to make any sense, and that she couldn't punch into submission.

"Oh yeah, you went to college, I keep forgetting." Kagura said, looking up from her paper for a moment. "Here, did I do this right?"

Ranma nodded. "Looks like it," She answered. "Let's try another one."

Kagura gave a long, melodramatic sigh, but flipped to the next page and picked a problem at randdom, starting to work on it. As the two continued, they heard footsteps behind them, and Ranma looked back to see Mousse standing at the door. "Are you going somewhere, Mousse?" She asked, but he didn't respond, opening the door and walking out.

HR.

Mousse was on a mission. He had only two weeks in which to prepare, and he could not waste a second. There were certain places in Tokyo where, if one had the coin, almost anything could be acquired. Most of these places were noted, so that they could be reported and shut down later. They would never trace it to him, as no one ever noticed the random duck flying over head. There were some, however that held what the bespectacled martial artist sought, and one of these was before him now.

"Where on earth am I now!" a voice thundered from nearby. "Ranma Kuonji, this is all your fault!"

"Hibiki?" Mousse asked, looking to his left, where the fanged martial artist now stood.

"So, how was my delivery?" Ryoga questioned. "Did it sound right?"

"You're starting that again?" the duck boy groaned.

"Well, it is his fault," Ryoga claimed. "Sort of."

"Elder Cologne is still upset that you didn't save any of that stew for her, you know," Mousse commented.

Ryoga gulped. "Um, no, I didn't know that," he said. "So, what are you doing here? Wherever here is."

"Oh, this is a black market. I'm just doing a little shopping. I'm winning myself a bride in two weeks, so I need to prepare," the long haired man explained. "Would you like to come with me?"

"I guess," Ryoga said. "This is Japan, right?"

"Yes, we're currently in Tokyo," Mousse calmly answered. After enough time, Ryoga asking similar questions was just routine. "So, where have you been recently?"

"Well, I just got back from Brussels. I bought Ino some brownies," Ryoga declared happily. "I just hope they're still fresh when I get home."

"Right," Mousse agreed. "So, I was thinking that I'd try for subduing, rather than actually harming her." Walking up to the dealer, he surveyed the wares and decided, "I'll take ten flash bangs and two concussion grenades." After receiving his purchases, he turned to Ryoga and said, "Well, I'm done here. Time to hit the sporting goods store."

END.

Osaka: Hmm, guess we don't get ta see the results of the test yet.

Yomi: Don't worry about it, we'll be fine.

Tomo: I'm going to fail, I'm going to fail, I'm going to fail…

Chiyo: Hey, why is that guy standing out in the schoolyard in those white robes?

Sakaki: …