Never Before


« Allez en paix, je vous laisse la vie, mais je vous la laisse pire que la mort. »
"Go in peace! I have given you your life, but it is an existence worse than death."

–Alexis de Tocqueville, De la Démocratie en Amérique.


Summer 1998

There was something wonderfully horrible in what magic could achieve. It is unsettling, but horror always comes with a kind of unique and magnificent beauty.

The sea was calm today, merely agitated by little waves. There was a bright sun, and very far away, somewhere on the horizon line, different shades of blue melted into one, sky and water merged together, as if earth and sea raised to engulfed the known world inside a perfect sphere.

Lucius' frustration only increased at the sight. He would have preferred to face a tempest, and hear the wailing of swells, it would have matched his temper. He despised this calmness, and only desired to be defeated with nature's hate for the rock he lived on: Azkaban.

This very afternoon, there would be a bunch of dignified wizards judging for his appeal on the court's decision. They would choose whether he would die or live, whether his life would be on this god-forsaken rock or not, whether he would know the Dementor's kiss, or forever live in their nest. There was a tempest of fear and anger and helplessness raging in his gut.

.oOo.

A few days later…

The sun was setting, and Lucius was sitting in the Manor's gardens, enjoying his newly recovered freedom. He was watching at the warm lights on the noble house. He had forgotten how much he liked this place until now. He had feared so much to never see any of this again that spending a whole day here was a little victory.

Lucius had spent the whole day reading and had not done such a casual thing in years now. Narcissa had brought him some tea a few hours ago, but he hadn't managed to speak with her yet. It felt like words were stuck in him, and Draco was nowhere near either. Lucius simply didn't know what to tell them.

He didn't want to leave the bench, it had been so long since the last time he had been able to feel this warm wind caressing his skin. All the while, it was the saddest thing he ever felt because there was a high price to pay for it. He wished he had been sentenced to the Dementor's kiss rather than this false freedom. He had been stripped of everything else, he had no more work, no more support, no more reputation in the political sphere. Malfoy wasn't anymore synonym of power, but merely of traitor and cowards in public opinion.

.oOo.

A handful of years later…

"Tell me, Lucius…"

They were alone in the Ministry's atrium. The night was so far advanced that it was early enough for no one else to be already here, in fact. These things happened often when one is the Ministry of Magic and had crisis to deal with. You couldn't care with the time in those cases.

"…what was the first thing you said when you came back from Azkaban?"

"The first or the second time?"

"Second."

"I told Narcissa I loved her. It took me three days. Now I tell her every morning before to leave, and every evening too."

Hermione Granger gave him a Cheshire cat smile.

"Well, Mister Chief Warlock, I would never have thought that of you before the war. You changed a lot."

"I never had told her before, in fact. But I called a few Malfoy's rules into question. I never said "mudblood" again since the end of the war either."

"You just did it," she pointed out.

"Please, keep it a secret."

She tried to hide she was laughing but failed.


Wordcount: 601

I'm sorry but I'm not a native speaker and found no beta yet for this text.

The Golden Snitch Prompts Used: (I'm a proud student of Tawartet, Uagadou)

[Challenge] Ollivander's Wand Shop Blackthorn: Write about a character's reputation being ruined.

[Challenge] Through the Universe Dark Matter — (characters) Dementors

[Challenge] Singing a song along (character) Lucius Malfoy

[Club] Languages Club Task 5

Snitched! [Issue 21: Easter Special]: New Beginnings