Due to a birthday request, I'm actually writing the next chappie. 'Cuz my usual motivation (glares at where-ever Xavier should be) isn't nagging at me anymore. So happy birthday, Sparrow Hakamara (Sorry if me is late). ^^

Envy: Bri does does no own Full Metal Alchemist. If she did, I would rule the world, Lust wouldn't exist, and what happened in Chapter 3 would've happened 10 times more sadistic.


Sheska presented us with a pile a papers that reached to my knee. I can barely write a 500 word essay in 5 days and she wrote at least 2000 pages! What the heck? Everyone shared my opinion, judging by the looks on their faces.

"No wonder he couldn't run away with this." I stated. "It's half of the library."

"Is this really Marcoh's?" Ed asked.

"Yes! Without a doubt." she answered.

I picked up a random paper from the pile. "Dude, it's a cookbook." It really was a cookbook. "'One cup of sugar, two cups of flour, a hint of lime, cup of vegetable butter, two cups of milk, and sprinkles. Bake it in the oven at 6000 degrees for 3 seconds and voila, you have cookies." (I think.)

Edward stared blankly at me. "You're joking, right, Mischief?"

"I have never been more dead serious." I stated bluntly. "Can't you see the funny serious look on my face?"

Ed grabbed a paper and... Older-Ed-Looking-Guy repeatedly asked if this was really Marcoh's work. When Ed asked, Sheska answered yes. Then he grinned. "You're incredible. Thanks. Let's take this back to the Central Library, there are plenty of dictionaries."

Then Edward reached into hhis coat and pulled out his checkbook. I did the same.

"Here, for helping us." He wrote down a random big number and gave it to the book-worm.

"Here's your tip." I wrote another big number and gave it to Sheska. "Take the money from our bank accounts."

"From their research funds..." I heard Ross say as I walked out the door.

Me and Ed grinned as we have both of their yells of surprise.

"OH MY GOD! THAT'S A LOT OF ZEROS!"

"HOW COULD A COUPLE OF KIDS HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY?"

I yelled back at them, "EASY! WE GET A BIG ALLOWANCE!"

After I ditched Ed and Al at the library... what? Don't give me that look! Like hell am I studying recipes for a week! Besides, I needed to see Envy before Ed. I mean, if I were there when Ed sees Envy and Lust, I would ruin the epicness of the moment. And... I wanna meet Barry the Chopper! I forgot why but I wanna.

I wandered around the giant city for hours, but I got lost. Several times. My map of Central sucked.

So I sucked up my stupid pride and asked a random girl with shoulder-length black hair and dark-blue eyes for directions.

"You know which way to the 5th Lab? Abandoned building, next to the prison, probably a good idea to stay away from there next week?"

"Isn't that it right there?" she said as she pointed to the building behind me. It even had a big sign that said '5th Lab is right here, Mischief.'

"Oh..." And I wandered into the building. And poked my head through the door. "What'cha doing?" There a flash of blue light and suddenly the 50 random old dudes disappeared. "Whoops..."

Envy, on the other side of the room, sighed. "Great, you startled them and they accidently put themselves in the stone."

I walked up to the stone and picked it up. "Sorry random dudes..."

Then a random idea came to me. Didn't the humonculus eat these or something in the first anime? I licked it. Oh my god... it tatses like raspberries.

"What are you doing?" Envy asked.

"Nooothing."

"What are the Elrics doing?"

"Relax, they won't be here for another week."

"Then everything's going to plan."

"And soon, the world will be ours! Mwahahahahaha!" I said in my best super-villain voice.

"...Are you on something?"

"Just sugar, my friend, just sugar..."

6 days later...

Suddenly a great long "NOOOOO!" echoed throughout Central. The Elrics discovered what the ingredients to Philosopher's Stone is.

I was patting Edward on the head going 'There, there...'

"All that work... and this is the results?"

"It could be worse."

"How?"

There was shouting outside that answered the question. And the door burst open to reveal that Major Armstrong broke the doorknob.

"O_O..."

"Run, Ed, run!" I said as I ran towards the window.

The Major started manly-crying with sparkles everywhere. (Sparkles that pwned Edward Cullen's.) "What a tragedy!"

Armstrong started ranting about how it was wrong and whatever else came to mind. Me and Ed were glaring at our 'bodyguards', who both started apologizing.

There you goes, peoples.

Review.