Chapter 8:
Excuses, Excuses…
Sanji laid there still cling to the toilet cubical wall as Zoro started to approach him slowly.
"Sanji…" Zoro started. "You do know you have to let go now, right?"
Sanji shook his head spastically sending a 'no' reply to Zoro. As he hung there like a coat on a coat rack; he started to get nervous. Seeing that he kept on denying Zoro's 'commands' he knew that Zoro would eventually force him off; like an egg that stubbornly sticks to the frying pan.
"Sanji…" Zoro said again getting a little annoyed at the stubborn ass-cook. "You can't stick there forever, now get down, it's not that far from the bloody floor; you can let go and you will survive..."
Sanji shook his head again not saying a word.
"Arrrrggghh!" Zoro growled and slammed his big booted foot against the floor. "I swear to god Sanji. You're so fucking stubborn sometimes!" all Sanji did in response was stick his tongue out. And that irritated Zoro more.
"That's it!" Zoro shouted. "You're coming off weather you like it or not. I'm sick of playing your stupid 'play and avoid Zoro' games!" he said and then stomped over to Sanji and grabbed him by the ankles and started to pull. "Fucking come off!"
"Ahhh! What the hell?" Sanji shouted back at Zoro. "What are you bloody doing? I'll fall if you keep doing that!"
"That's basically the point shitty-kun!" Zoro replied, tugging harder on Sanji's ankles. "You're going to come off!"
"Noooo!" Sanji yelled, tightening his grip on the wall. "I'm not coming off!"
Zoro pulled harder. "Yes; you; are you moron!"
"Never!"
"Bloody stubborn ass!" Zoro yelled, pulling even harder than before "Let; go!"
"Make me!" Sanji yelled back; "Why do I even need to come off anyway?"
"Because." Zoro replied; "Anyone with common sense knows that they can't stay clinging to a god damn toilet wall!"
"Sure they-" Sanji was cut off by someone trying to open the locked door. "Huh-?" both Sanji and Zoro paused their actions and looked over at the rattling door knob.
"Who-?" Zoro questioned.
"Whys' the door locked?" asked a very familiar voice. "I gotta pee!"
"It's…" Sanji started
"…Luffy…" Zoro ended the sentence.
"Oh man; I really gotta pee! Who the hell locked the door?"
"If that boy grows impatient; he'll knock the whole door down…" Zoro slowly said and let his grip on Sanji's ankles loosen. "Sanji…?" he slowly asked.
"What?" Sanji replied; somewhat curious as to why he loosened up.
By now Zoro had let go of Sanji and was dusting himself. "Get down." He simply asked. "Luffy's going to barge in here any minute now; he's going to find it rather strange why his number one cook is hanging from a toilet cubical wall."
Sanji snorted. "But I can-" Sanji notice the death glare he was receiving from his friend.
"Down; now." Zoro commanded with a dark annoyed tone.
Sanji sighed and let go. "Fine…" he mumbled. "Only because you asked nicely" he said with a bit of sarcasm in his voice.
"Well you can-" before Zoro could finish his sentence; the main door that had been locked exploded into thousands of small splinters and were shooting out like bullets all over the bathroom.
"Get down!" Zoro yelled as he grabbed Sanji by the head and dropped down to the floor.
As the splinters shot to the floor and the smoke slowly flowing away; a tall figure emerged from the depths of the hall way."Ahhh~ finally!" shouted Luffy as his arm sprang back to its original position onto his shoulder. "I gotta pee!" he then noticed Zoro and Sanji.
"Zoro; Sanji?" he asked rather confused. "What are you two doing on the floor?"
Zoro smiled. "Lu-Luffy! What's up?" he asked trying to sound like there was nothing wrong. Luffy looked up at the ceiling and pointed at it.
"Just the ceiling Zoro; is there something important up there?"
"Uh, no; no there isn't; I'm just asking you what's up…" Zoro answered while sitting up off the floor.
"Oh… okay." Luffy looked at the busted up door and then at the two on the floor. "Why was the door locked Zoro? And why are only you and Sanji in here?" Luffy looked at the two with a confused puppy look on his face.
"Ah… that; yes… Luffy. You see…" Zoro began.
Sanji just looked at Zoro. He then snorted at his stupidity. Stupid marimo; he thought. I'd like to see you get out of this one… he snickered a bit more; until he realized that Zoro had his arm around his waist; he stopped the snickering and blushed a deep red. He was being held in front of his captain; he felt very embarrassed. Not that Luffy would notice it anyway.
"Um…." Zoro spoke bringing Sanji back to reality. "We… we were locked in here actually." He answered with a grin on his face. "Yes… locked."
"Hmp." Sanji hmp'd; Yeah right… Like he's going to believe that; he's not that dumb Zor—Yeeaoowww!
Sanji jumped at the sudden jab of pain down at his waist. He looked down at his hip and found Zoro poking him really hard signalling him a message that said 'Shut the fuck up cook!'
"Ohhhh~! I see. I wonder how that happened?" Luffy asked as he started to understand the situation a little more than before.
Sanji looked dumbstruck at Luffy. HUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH? HE BELIEVES HIM? He yelled in his mind. ANYONE WHO COMES ACROSS THIS CAN SEE THAT WHEN THERE ARE TWO MEN LOCKED IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM ON THE FLOOR WITH NO SURVELLIANCE CAMERAS; CAN TELL THAT THERE WILL ONLY BE TWO THINGS THAT GO ON IN THERE. AND THAT IS:-
THEY ARE HAVING A MASSIVE BATTLE BRAWL. OR
ONE IS BEING MOLESTED BY THE OTHER IN SUCH PORNOGRAPHIC TERMS THAT I MYSELF CANNOT DESCRIBE! AHHHHH!
Sanji sighed and looked at his captain tiredly. How can he believe that…? His head then just flopped down like he just dropped dead. Neither of the two noticed.
"Yeah, then um… the way we got locked in here was just amazing…" Zoro spoke again.
"Really; how?" Luffy asked; forgetting the fact that he had to go pee urgently and sat down in front of the swordsman waiting for him to continue on with his story.
"Yeah, you see…" Zoro began his story pointing a finger up. "We both came here to wash our hands right?"
Luffy nodded and Zoro continued.
"And… out of nowhere; a rainbow Komodo dragon came walking in asking:-"
. . .
Zoro looked at the large rainbow creature that came walking in through the main door. It then looked up and smiled at Zoro. It was wearing a small black bow tie and a top hat; it was also standing up on its two back legs like people do. It held a black walking stick that had a white Lillie tied up at the top.
"Well, hello green headed human." It greeted somewhat 'politely.'
"Uh…." Zoro stared at the large thing, hands still under the tap while water rushed down onto it. "Can I help you rainbow thing?" he asked rather curious.
The thing smiled some more. "I'm looking for a young boy that is known by as the 'captain' of this ship; young lad, has a straw hat, and incredibly gullible at the most simple things of life. Happen to know a chap that goes by those?"
"Uh…." Zoro was somewhat speechless. He was talking to an obviously, educated, well mannered and well dressed Komodo dragon that wanted to know the where abouts of his captain. So he decided to just ignore it and help the lost thing. "Uh… I think he's up on the deck sleeping, or fishing, or he could be in the kitchen bugging Sanji for lunch… I think Sanji might be with him…" he told the thing.
"No; I'm down here beside you marimo."Sanji butted in; "And I don't think Luffy's up in the kitchen, and who the hell are you talking to?" he asked rather confused.
"I think it's a rainbow komodo dragon…" Zoro answered Sanji's question. "He wants to find Luffy."
"Dragon?" Sanji asked more confused. "I don't see a dragon." He then looked over Zoro towards the door and there stood a large, really large for its size, rainbow Komodo dragon.
Huh? Sanji mentally asked. Am I seeing a big dragon thing on the floor?
"Well good day to you sir; I am looking for the boy that goes by the name of Luffy?"
Sanji just stood there staring wide eyed at the thing. It spoke to me…
"Are you alright lad?" it asked in concern. "You look somewhat on the moggy side."
Moggy? Sanji questioned.
Zoro sighed and answered for the cook. "He's fine; but sorry, we can't help you. We don't know where our captain is."
The somewhat large dragon made a face and sighed. "Oooh…" he said in a somewhat Scottish accent. "What a shame…"
Zoro and Sanji both lifted an eyebrow at the sudden change of speech and looked at each other with 'Okay…' looks.
Sighing again; the Komodo dragon bowed and tipped his hat at the two. "Jolly -oh" it said, returning to its original accent. "I guess there's no need for me to stand here anymore, so I'll be on my jolly way then, tally-ho."
Zoro and Sanji just nodded and watched as the dragon walked off closing the door behind it. As it closed, the sound of a massive bank bolt lock clicked in.
. . .
Luffy's eyes twinkled with amazement as Zoro finished telling his story. "WOW…" he finally said. "There was a Komodo dragon on the ship?" He asked. "But I don't remember seeing it; and we're in the middle of the ocean, how did he get here?"
Zoro just simply smiled at his captain. "I think it was by a magic flying Komodo dragon only carpet." He said, and Luffy's eyes twinkled even more. "WOW…" he said again. "I wonder what he wanted with me."
Zoro shrugged his shoulders; "Gee Luffy; I don't know. It could be anything…"
Luffy stood up and headed towards the door. "Alright then!" he slightly shouted feeling very confident. "I'm going to go look for him!" and with that; he started to bolt out the door only to be stopped by Zoro.
"Luffy…" Zoro spoke. "Didn't you need to pee?" he asked lifting an eyebrow. Luffy's eyes widened as he suddenly remembered his main reason for coming here. "Oh yeah…" he said and quickly ran into a cubical closing the door as he got in. when he finished; Luffy walked towards the sink and quickly washed his hands. When he finished that, he quickly said "Bye bye! I'm going to find him now;" And bolted out the door faster than you can 'Rainbow Komodo Dragon'.
Zoro sighed and started to massage his face. Boy what a story; he couldn't believe that Luffy fell straight for it. He then sighed again and looked at Sanji; only to find Sanji staring straight at him with a look that said: 'What the fuck Zoro, what the fuck, what the fuck, bloody hell; WHAT THE FUCK!'
"What?" Zoro asked completely not getting the message.
"What the fuck?" Sanji spoke after a few minutes of silence "A Komodo dragon?" he asked. "A rainbow komodo dragon? Where the fuck did you come up with that?"
Zoro jut gave Sanji a 'Wha~~at?' look. "Wha~~at?" he asked. "What else was I meant to tell him? That I locked the door coz I wanted to fuck you?"
Sanji slightly blushed at the sudden outburst but quickly shook it off. "NO! Of course not; just; why did you tell him about a dragon? Now he's going to be looking for it till Christmas!"
Zoro sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Then I'll tell him to stop and give up and that it's left the ship."
Sanji just looked at Zoro and sighed. He then decided to just drop it because he knew if they continued this they would get nowhere and that they would be here all night; so he just dropped it. "Fine." He said. Let's just clean this mess up…
As they cleaned; it took approximately half an hour to sweep everything up and pick it up and put in into some fire place that they had. As they were sweeping the last bundle, Zoro's actual reason for locking the door popped into Sanji's mind.
What else was I meant to tell him? That I locked the door coz I wanted to fuck you?
Sanji blushed a deep red. Is that why he came here? Did he actually plan to fuck him; in a bathroom? And how were they going to make that work anyway; get fucked on the toilet seat? All these questions swam in circles around Sanji head. He was starting to get curious. Maybe I should ask… he thought. But if I do… will he get the wrong idea? Gulping; Sanji asked.
"Zoro…?" he slowly spoke.
Zoro looked up from the floor and looked at Sanji. "Yeah mate?"
Beads of sweat started to form on the side of Sanji's face and he started to get more nervous as his hands started to sweat. "Um… well…" he looked down and started to twiddle with his fingers.
Looking at Sanji freaking out started to worry Zoro a little. "Sanji…?" he slowly asked walking closer to Sanji. "You okay? You don't look so well…"
Sanji looked up and smiled. "Yeah I'm fine. I was just… curious at… something. It's not much of a big deal so forget about it." and with that, Sanji returned back to his sweeping of the splinters. Three minutes later he looked up to check if Zoro had gone back to work. He didn't. Instead; Zoro was walking up to him. HUH? Sanji thought to himself at the same time getting a little more nervous.
"Sanji…" Zoro spoke and smiled, now face to face with Sanji, only at least ten centimetres away from his face.
"Y-yes?" Sanji replied; really, really nervous.
"What did you want to ask me?"
Sanji gulped a big gulp; Come on man! It's not that hard; just ask him already. I'm sick of being pathetic here! Sanji then gulped again and looked straight at Zoro.
"ZORO!" Sanji shouted.
"Uh; yes?" Zoro answered.
"I want you to tell me something." Sanji then gulped for the third time and took in a deep breath.
"DID YOU REALLY LOCK THE DOOR JUST TO FUCK ME?" Sanji had said that in one whole breath that Zoro didn't really understand it.
"What?" he asked. "Can you say that again?"
Sanji lightly blushed. He had to say that again? It was hard enough the first time; saying it again would probably kill him. "Seriously; do I have to repeat myself?" Sanji asked; slightly embarrassed and out of breath.
"Well how else am I meant to answer your question if I don't understand a word you're saying?"
"But come on…" Sanji didn't really like repeating himself very much; especially when it was about sex. Sanji sighed. "Fine; I'll say it slowly…" he took in another deep breath and sighed.
"I asked; did you really lock the door just to fuck me, question mark." By then, Sanji was red as a ripe tomato.
Zoro; just; did a big smile as a response. "Whhhy~" he asked, smile transforming into an evil cats grin.
Sanji diverted his gaze from Zoro's face. He really didn't like where this was going. "There really isn't a reason why…" he started. "I was… I was just curious that's all."
"Riiiiiiiighhht; I see…" Zoro happily replied. "Curious eh?"
"What?" Sanji asked loudly "What's with that bloody tone-"
As Sanji was going to finish his sentence; Zoro had grabbed him by his waist and pulled him in closer and kissed him.
Sanji just stared wide eyed as Zoro kept on kissing him. "Mmmm…" Zoro mumbled with a smile as he started to nudge his tongue into Sanji's mouth.
"Z-Zoro…" Sanji managed to say. "S-sto… stop…"
Zoro just ignored Sanji's pleas as he started to reach down for Sanji's pant's flyer and started to unzip him and slightly tug his pants down.
"Sanji…" Zoro finally spoke while kissing Sanji's soft lips. "You shouldn't have asked."
朝日山姫ちゃん: やああ~なんか、すごく疲れるな~…
ルキアちゃん: そう?あたしが何でもないけど…
朝日山ちゃん: あったり前でしょう。私がそこで「Good Morning Kiss」をどんどんタイプしてるからよ!ルキアちゃんがただベッドの上でゴロゴロしてるんじゃないか?ね、ゆきる?
ゆきる: …は?何か言いったか?聞いてないけどな…
朝日山ちゃん: …ねー?あたしのラップトップで何してるの?
ゆきる: …別に…
ルキアちゃん: 別にって、何かしてるじゃないかよ?
ゆきる: してないよ。
朝日山姫ちゃん: うそつきそこで何してるの?
ゆきる: って、お前なんかに関係ないだろう?
朝日山姫ちゃん: You idiot; it's my laptop.
ゆきる: So?
朝日山姫ちゃん: …So? So my ass! What are you doing with it? 見せてよ。
ゆきる: やだ。
ルキアちゃん: だめなの?
ゆきる:うん…
朝日山姫ちゃん: けちだな…
ゆきる: はい、はい
ルキアちゃん: あっ!まりこちゃんが言うってる言葉が全部ゆきるくんがラップトップに移してるよ。
朝日山姫ちゃん: はっ?何で?
ゆきる: 別にいいだろう?
朝日山姫ちゃん: いいじゃないよ!ささっと消してよこのくだらないもを!
ゆきる: や~だ~! dfjhdwjf 江fべwf江f うぇづ8
Ahaha… yeah, thanks for reading my story… and I apologize for the whole Japanese conversation up there. Yukiru! You moron! I would delete it but; it's kind of funny and I want to keep it as a memory.
Hey, do you remember the conversation Yukiru typed up as we spoke? Yeah; I remember that! it was after I typed a bit of my story! Ahahahaha… yeah, you get the point. But I do apologize if it annoys you, and besides, it's at the end of the chapter, so… yeah. I just find it so strange that he typed it up so quickly… I did wonder what he was doing at the time. All I could hear was this super fast typing… yeah, then I found out and jumped him and it went spastic at the end…
But anywho; please tell me how I did! I think I went really bad with this chapter and ch.7. I don't know… I think it's slightly getting off track… though I was planning to end it in the next one… but… ARRRGHHGHGH! GOD DAMMIT!
