Well my last chapter was done on my blackberry playbook... nowhere near as good as a normal keyboard... back on my laptop now... Thanks for all the wonderful reviews guys!
Steph M. Owns it all!
Chapter 8: Pick Me Up, Knock Me Down!
Bella's POV
I woke up to my alarm blaring rediculously loud in my freakin ear, I groaned, slammed it shut, and leaned back to cuddle up to... nothing! I sat up quickly and looked around, James was gone, his spot cold.
I got out of bed feeling all kinds of weird. After searching the house in nothing but James' delisious smelling shirt, I come back empty freaking handed, not a note, or a smudge, or a crumb left behind for me... well except for my door being unlocked. I felt a pang of unease, he had said he had clothing here, so he would not need to go home, so why did he leave.
I tried not to read too much into it, knowing how I can sometimes get... my poor self esteem has major issues and the last thing I need is to bring that down on him. Maybe he wanted to go home and shower, or get an early start and didn't want to wake me. I made sure to keep these thoughts in mind as I showered and got ready for work.
I got to work just in the nick of time, and the minute I stepped off the elevator I froze. James was in his office, door open and sitting across from him was a red head, which I suspiciously suspected as none other than Vic - fucking - toria... oh this is gonna be one of those days.
I calmly took my seat, and began setting up James' planner for the day, once I was done I sat there unsure of whether or not I should go in there. I know how pissy he gets when I disturb him... but fuuuck part of me wanted to storm in there and stake my claim on my sexy as hell boss... the look on that bitches face would be priceless, she would most likely screech, and storm out... making a scene the whole way, or James would be so livid with me that I would ruin any and all chances of pursuing any type of relationship with him. So I parked my ass in my chair, and started reading the articles.
Ten minutes into my reading, Victoria let out a loud laugh that rubbed across my skin like sandpaper. "Oh James you are just too funny." She exclaimed in a high pitched voice. I clenched my hands and looked up. James had a flirty smile on his face, his eyes shining, and her fucking hand was on his arm... he didn't move away from her, in fact he held still letting her get her feel, and shy Bella took a back fucking stage to raging Bella. I stood up, grabbed his printout for todays schedule, and stormed into his office like I was on fire. I placed the paper in front of him... maybe a little harder than necessary and smiled a little too sweetly, and stormed out.
The office went dead silent, I looked up and at least five pairs of eyes were on me, two of those being the smirking red headed bitch and the glaring James. I grumbled quietly to myself, and went back to reading the stupid articles. I swear Victoria was in there for two freakin hours and James had waved three important phone calls because of it. I was floored did he not fire the psycho bitch. When she finally walked out of his office, she stared right at me, with the most evil grin I had ever seen, I swear smoke was coming out of the bitches nose, and horns forming at the top of her stupid head... and if you even say for one second that I was jealous... I would say you are on glue... me... jealous... never. Really.
Not even a full minute after the Devil herself walked out, James hollered for me to come into his office. I looked up and smiled as politely as I could and shook my head. "No can do Boss man..." I said in a falsely light tone. "I have an article to write for my column, maybe when I'm done... ok." I looked back down without waiting for a response. I heard a deep growl, but James did not pursue me anymore. He turned and stalked back to his office. I knew for sure half the stupid office had eyes on me, but I ignored them and I have to say it was the first time I was stuck on writing anything about how to keep things fresh, all I could think of was Victoria laughing at James and touching his arm, him letting her have the intimate contact. The anger was slowly turning to hurt, and I was having a hard time keeping it together... Like I said bad freaking self esteem and it took a lil beating.
I thought about the night before, and the early morning session I had with James, the feeling of being in his arms, and how it felt so exciting. So I wrote about how good it is to spice things up, with making out with your spouse, significant other. How prolonging the actual sex part of it, can make things feel so much better, how it makes things feel more exciting. By the time I was done with it, it was time for me to go home. Before I could do that, I had to buck up and bring it to James... ugh cue the freakin groan.
I stood up, got everything ready, making sure to get my purse and keys and throw it over my shoulder, before walking with my head held high to James' office. He was sitting at his desk, his tie gone, and his first two buttons undone, his jacket was on the chair, his sleeves rolled up and his face a mask of impatience. He looked hot... as freaking usual, but when he looked up at me, he glowered and I glowered right back.
"I'm done my article Mr. Masters and I'm heading out, unless there is anything else that needs to be done... office related." I added at the end so he didn't try to bring up anything else, at least I hope he didn't.
"Of course there is." He growled out, practically ripping the paper from my hands. "What the fuck was that today, storming into my office like you own the place." He asked, glancing at my article.
I smiled sweetly, and looked at him. "Oh wow I'm really sorry for that, my day started off a little rocky, my apologies Mr. Masters." My sweet girl act seemed to enrage him even more. "Or maybe it was the fact that the psychotic bitch who you fired, was in here feeling you up and you didn't give two shits about it." I snarled in a low voice, so no one else could hear me. James' eyes snapped up into mine, full of shock. "yep." I said popping the 'P' "It was definitely the latter." With that I turned around and walked away.
At that point I didn't care if he fired me, I was too mad to give a shit... what kind of man brings you to orgam hours before with his sexy fucking hands, then lets another woman feel him up... in front of the other... "Jerk." I mumbled out as I pushed the elevator button.
"What was that Miss Swan." Holy fucking De Ja Vu... could this day get any worse... but instead of getting all embarrased like last time I turned to him with one of my fiercest glares.
"I don't think I stuttered Mr. Masters... I said Jerk." His eyes widened like he expected me to deny deny deny... but like I said I was to mad to give a shit if he fired me. I turned around and headed for the stairs, deciding I so did not want to ride in the elevator with him. "I think I'll take the stairs." I mumbled, before opening the door, and starting to walk down. Because honestly 10 flights of stairs were better than facing him for another second right now. Could this day get any worse... I freaking hope not.
By the time I got home, I let out a loud fucking groan yup... the day could definitely get worse. There was Edward Fucking Cullen sitting on my front steps, with flowers and wine... are you kidding me. Make one mistake, one time and the man will never get over it.
Ok so yeah Edward was hot, I mean delicious. He had the most vibrant green eyes, and brown sex hair with copper highlights. He had a runners build, lean but still looked good. I wondered more than once why I couldn't love him the way he did me... but even after a night of sex... my one and only time I might add... I still did not feel anything towards him besides friendship.
I remember three years ago, I had run into him, first time scince the night it went too far, and he had said, "I'm still waiting for you Bella, and I will always be waiting for you until you decide to love me back." I told him I just didn't feel that way for him, but right now, staring at his ruffled appearance, looking sexy as hell, I wished I did feel that way, being with him would be easy. Too bad life was never meant to be easy.
I took a deep calming breath, and opened the door. As soon as Edward spotted me, he gave me a mega watt smile and stood from his seated position. "Hey Beautiful." He said as he pulled me into a hug, a hug I did not reciprocate. If I did that Edward would take it to heart, trust me I know from experience.
"Edward, I told you before, you cant just stop by here unannounced like this." I said bluntly, not opening my door yet, and I wouldn't until he left. Edward let out a breath and slumped.
"Well I called and left a message this morning, I told you I was coming over, so I figured since you didn't call back and decline it would be okay." I glared at him and he took a step back, most likely involuntary.
"What did I tell you, if I don't answer or call back, it's just like I'm saying no, not yes." Edward slumped more, putting his head down. I took a deep calming breath, and stepped foreward. "You have to stop this man, I mean you are on the edge of turning into a creeper Eddie. You need to let this go, I will never love you, your a friend, just a friend... you need to accept that."
Edward looked up, his eyes looking pained. "I know, I just wish... I just wish I was enough for you." At that moment I wanted to cry for him, I felt horrible, but I couldn't handle this anymore, he was damn near 26, he needed to find someone to love, who would love him in return, how he deserved it. "Goodbye Bella." He murmured, and the finality in that goodbye, gave me a start, it was a real goodbye... and all I could think was thank goddess.
I walked inside and threw my stuff on the counter, and walked over to my answering machine, '1' message blinked on it. I pushed the 'Play' button and listened. 'New Message recieved at 6:45 A.M.' "Hey Beautiful, It's me, I'm getting into town at six, figure maybe we can watch a movie, I'll bring some wine, if I don't hear back from you, I'm gonna take it as a yes... see you soon Love." 'End of message' I hit the 'Delete' button. Then everything fell into place.
Edward and his endearments, James probably woke up to the phone ringing, heard the message, and thought I was in a relationship... ohhh boy what a mess, I momentarily felt bad, until I thought about that skanky bitch touching James, and him allowing it. Then anger set in, he used her to purposely hurt me, instead of talking to me about it... instead of asking me if I was with someone else, even though I poured my heart out last night. What the hell was this high school, what a jerk, why was it the jerk I was attracted to, and not the caring sweet one.
I quickly ate, and had a soothing bath, I tried to relax, but there was just no way I had finally felt whole, after so many years of watching James, with no hope of reciprocation, then bam, wow he feels the same... and then not even a full day later something as simple as a message makes him act a fool. I drank a cup of sleepy time tea before bed, and fell asleep rather quickly.
I woke the next morning, feeling more refreshed than I thought would be possible considering the shit storm the day before, I woke up, and dressed up extra nice, a dress that hit just above the knees, a black and white pattern, the sleeves were capped and it was a empire waste. It made me feel good, and the material was so soft. I had gotten it from Alice as a gift for my birthday, and this was the first time I had worn it. I would have to thank her. I felt a pang in my chest at the thought of her and Jas... I would have to call them later, make up with them, I needed my friends back. I threw on some wedge sandals and a little makeup... I was gonna make James suffer.
I would waltz around his office and act like I had never been happier, let him think what he wants. It would serve him right, jumping to conclusions. So with a smile planted on my face, I walked into the office to start my day. I stopped short, and gaped at Victoria's empty desk, which was now holding her once more. All I could think was 'Am I being Demoted.' I was so happy with my new position, I enjoyd the sexy article. My smile melted off my face, and I walked shakily to my desk.
I figured, that I would know soon enough if I was no longer writing it, and if I was demoted, than maybe this job just wasn't for me anymore... maybe I needed to find something better. I kicked those unappealing thoughts out of my head, and sat at my desk, starting my daily routine. starting with James' schedule. Once finished I looked up, only to see that his door was firmly shut, I could hear his voice through the door, so I knew I had to wait, instead I started to read through the articles for the day. It helped erraticate all my other thoughts for the time being, and I didn't see James until just before noon. When he finally opened his door and walked out, I held up the schedule for him, and he grabbed it from my hands, without so much of a thank you.
"I want to see you in my office A.S.A.P. you too Victoria." He grumbled, then stomped away. I stood up, and stretched my back, then walked in behind red headed Devil. We both took a seat and I didn't even bother to look her way, I was too nervous and my heart was tripping all over itself... "You both will be writing for the same article, and I will be deciding whose will be better to put in. After a month, I will decide who will be the permanent writer." My mouth hung open, and I when I tried to speak, I am sure I resembled a fish. This was horrible, it was a slap in the face.
He had already given me the position, and now he was taking it back. I looked down and blinked frantically, trying to make the tears stay back. Victoria sighed loudly beside me. "Well just think about it this way Isabella, at least you'll still have your secretary duties." I just shook my head, unable to speak past the massive lump in my throat. Punishment... for Edward calling... Punishment for calling him out on being a jerk... but the worst part, the painful part, was the feeling of being not good enough. My inadequacy was shining through beside the evil beauty beside me.
The hands in my lap were shaking frantically, and I thought of what to do... should I just quit now, just walk out... what if I couldn't find a job. I would lose my home. I was heaving, trying to think of what to do. "You fired her." I squeaked out. "You fired her, and now your giving her my position." I continued. My eyes still downcast, too afraid of bursting into tears if I faced him.
"No Isabella, I am giving her an opportunity to get it back, and I do realize I fired her, but now she is rehired... its best if you get over it." I swallowed again, his voice was cold as ice, and I knew... I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt... it was time for Miss Isabella Swan to move on.
"Well then I guess good luck is in order." I said with as much enthusiasm as I could, looking over at Victoria. She looked surprised at my comment. I looked over at James, his cold stare looking back at me. "I will be sure to hand in my resignation letter by the end of the day." James cold eyes turned into surprised. I stood on shaky legs and walked out, the numbness in my body was slowly disappearing... I quickly sat and typed up my two weeks notice, I was so shaky that I kept making mistakes, my fingers fumbling over the keys. A sweet girl Angela, who always kept to herself, came over and took over my last couple sentences, without a word, her arm against mine, gave me some support without being blatant. I said a small 'thank you' and she nodded shyly, before walking away. I printed out two copies, one for myself, and one for James.
I then packed up my belongings, needing to excuse myself for the rest of the day, I just didn't have it in me to stay at that moment, my numbing body was starting to thaw, and that meant waterworks would soon be here. I walked to James office, and placed the letter in front of him. "Here you are Mr. Masters." I said, with as much confidence I could muster.
James reached out and grabbed my hand before I could pull away. "I didn't mean I wanted you to quit Bella." He murmured. "Damn it your the best employee here." He said, his voice almost sounding regretful. I pulled my hand away and stood straight.
"I'll train someone if you would like, but there is only two weeks to do it... and I sure hope you give a good review to anyone looking to hire me, because I am a damn good employee." I told him, through gritted teeth. James looked sad, but he nodded minutely. "I'm taking the rest of the day off... I need to clear my head." James nodded again and I walked out. Tears started to fall as soon as the elevator doors closed, and by the time I reached the ground floor, I was sobbing. People turned and stared, several were people I worked with... and rumors would fly now. I was walking to my vehicle when I heard someone call my name, I turned around and Alice was running towards me, her smile melted off her face as she took in mine.
"Oh Bella, what's wrong, what happened are you okay?" She questioned, pulling me into a tight hug. I sobbed into her shoulder, and told her about the last weeks events.
Okay, I know alot in one chapter, I hope you guys likey likey! Review Please!
