It is always different variations of the same nightmare. Zim is always very little, and in the beginning he is always very happy. He is running around some kind living room, but sometimes it is a dim lab. A large dark shadow is following after him but he is not afraid of it, in fact when it catches him he laughs uproariously. He is full of joy and warmth when he is enveloped in that shadow.
Then the dream turns. There is a dark man with glowing eyes. He snatches Zim away from his loving shadow and runs away from it. When the shadow follows the dark man kills it and throws it in the street to be crushed under a car. People are screaming, Little Zim is crying - the dark man grabs his wrist and yanks him away. There is something in Little Zim's hand, something soft and familiar but in the confusion it is dropped and left behind.
Little Zim struggles against the man's grip, watching the people gather around his dead shadow, but he can't break free. It begins to rain, then Little Zim is on fire. His hand slips out of his glove and he tries to run back home but someone kicks him in the back and he falls. For some reason he is then electrocuted, screaming as the energy tears through his little frame. That's when he screams himself awake.
Zim huddled up under the covers, crying. He couldn't help the shudders that were wracking through his body. The dream is already fading but he remembers the fear, the sorrow and the feeling of utter helplessness. He wiped his pink tears from his cheeks then hopped out of his bed and ran up the stairs.
"Dib?" Zim whispered at the edge of his bed.
"Hmm?" Dib answered, still asleep.
"Can I sleep with you?" Zim asked Dib but he was already climbing into the bed next to him. Again Dib automatically put his arm around Zim and pulled him close.
"Did you have a bad dream, honey?" Dib asked, voice thick with sleep. Zim didn't answer, he just snuggled as much as he could into Dib's warm, broad chest. "It's okay, you can talk to Dwicky about it tomorrow."
"What?" Zim peeked up at Dib. "Dib?" He asked, but Dib was asleep so he gave no answer. "That was probably just weird sleep talk." Zim thought to himself, doubtfully. It took him at least an hour to relax enough to allow himself to fall asleep.
The alarm went off and Zim slammed his fist down on it – smashing it dead. He turned over and instantly fell back asleep. Dib woke up groggily, noticing he had no covers, he looked over at Zim to see him cocooned up in the comforter. He chuckled a little then poked Zim through the blanket.
"Wake up, it's time for school." Dib told him. Zim grunted grumpily. "I'll make you some cinnamon, sugar toast." Dib said as he hopped out of bed and got himself dressed.
Cinnamon sugar toast was one of the few things Dib had ever seen Zim eat besides Pixie sticks, he poured him a glass of orange juice as well. "Maybe he'll drink it." He said to himself - Zim only ever drinks soda. He put Zim's breakfast on the table then poured himself a mug of coffee for his breakfast.
"Zim!" Dib called up the stairs. He heard Zim grunt even louder in response. He climbed back up the stairs. "What a grouch you are today!" Dib said, sitting next to the grumbling lump on the bed. "Come on, I have to go to work today. Breakfast is on the table." Dib rubbed Zim's back through the blanket for a few moments, helping him wake up.
"Dib? If I tell you what Dwicky's doing . . . " Zim hesitated, swallowing his fear. "Can you really help me?"
"Finally." Dib said, relieved. "Yes, Zim. Please tell me."
Zim was silent for a few moments. "Zim, I know it can be hard to talk about things like this. It can be embarrassing and painful – "
"It's not that." Zim interrupted. "It's just, Dwicky . . . I don't want him to hurt you."
"Ah, I understand. Zim, abusive people tell children lies like that to control them. Since children don't know any better they believe it - but Dwicky can't hurt me." Dib rubbed what he was pretty sure was Zim's head. "Is that why you've never told anyone? Dwicky threatened to hurt them?"
"No, that's not why." Zim shifted under the blanket. "It's because of my deformities." Zim sat up and let the blanket fall into his lap. Dib's eyes went wide when he saw his dream made reality – Zim had two black antennae on top of his head instead of his black hair and his eyes were completely red and shiny.
When Dib didn't move or say anything – just stared wide-mouthed - Zim became uncomfortable. "Are you afraid of me?" He asked timidly.
"Afraid? No, I just . . . I've never . . . " Dib reached out to touch one of Zim's antenna but he jerked it back. "It moves!" Dib laughed. "Amazing!"
Zim looked at him skeptically. "Ya I can move them." He moved them back and forth to show Dib how he can control them. He even flared out the feathery tips so Dib could see. "But they're really sensitive . . . to touch."
"Oh, sorry." Dib said but couldn't take his eyes off of the dancing antenna.
"I don't think I'm human." Zim said softly. "I don't know what I am."
Dib tore his attention away from Zim's head when he heard Zim say this. "Don't say that! Just because you're different doesn't mean you're a monster."
Zim held up his three-fingered, gloved hand. He turned it back and forth, looking at it closely. "But what if I really am an alien?"
"Don't be ridiculous, you're perfectly normal. It's okay to be unique! In fact you look really cool." Dib took Zim's hand into his and held it comfortingly.
"But this pod on my back – I've always wondered about it." Zim leaned forward so Dib could get a good look at it.
"That's not a backpack?" Dib had noticed the pack before but since he had discerned right away that it wasn't full of drugs or alcohol he didn't ask why Zim never seemed to take it off – he didn't want to pry into Zim's personal life too much. Now he was very interested in it.
"No. I don't know what it is or where it came from but I can't take it off. I tried once and almost died." Zim sat up straight again. "Dwicky told me it's a bomb he implanted that would go off if I ever tried to run away. I told him I didn't believe him and he got mad. He won't talk about it now."
"It looks like these pink circles on it can open, can I touch it?" Dib asked, getting swept up in his curiosity again.
Zim looked at him dubiously, then nodded. "Be careful, okay?" He said.
Dib nodded then pressed on the top circle. He had expected the metal pack to be cold, but it was warm. He felt a faint vibration in it so he lay his palm flat on the surface. Yes, it was steady like a heart beat. "This is so awesome." Dib said quietly, not even noticing he'd said anything, still probing at the circle. Zim smiled but then jerked when he heard a loud click. "It opened!" Dib exclaimed.
"Wait, what did you do?" Zim was suddenly alarmed.
"I just kinda pushed on it and it opened. Did it hurt?" Dib asked concerned.
"No, it just startled me." Zim turned his head, trying to see his own back.
"Here." Dib said then lightly took hold of Zim's elbow. He guided him over to his bureau mirror. "There's machinery inside." Dib said as he peered into the pack. "Like a computer."
"OMG, what is it?" Zim said, beginning to feel afraid. "Get it off!"
"Zim, calm down. You said you can't take it off, right?" Zim nodded, trying to calm himself down. "It's never hurt you before - nothing is different." Dib said soothingly. Zim only nodded while Dib poked around inside. "I wonder what all of this stuff does?" Dib thought out loud.
"It doesn't do anything." Zim snapped. The cap on the circle snapped back into place and Zim turned so he was facing Dib, shielding his pack from Dib's scrutiny. "If I ran away Dwicky would tell everyone about me. I'd be locked up in a lab or a zoo or something, experimented on and gawked at like you were just doing."
"Oh, Zim. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel like an exhibit or something." He gathered Zim up in his arms again.
"You mean a freak. That's what I am."
"Shut up." Dib said and hugged him tighter.
Zim was shocked into silence by Dib's comment at first but then couldn't help himself from giggling at it. "Did you just tell me to shut up?" He asked.
"Yes." Dib confirmed, laughing a little himself.
Zim wrapped his arms around Dib as much as he could and felt years of self-torment and paranoia wash away. "Thanks for not freaking out." He said.
"Why would I? You're still the same." Dib replied softly. Dib felt a vibration in Zim's chest and thought he heard a rapid clicking sound. He strained his ears and did indeed hear a clicking. It was coming out of Zim – almost like he was purring. Dib thought, not for the first time, how amazing this boy is.
"I have other weird things – "
"It's okay, I understand." Dib interrupted. He sat down on the bed again with the boy and handed him his wig with a little smirk. Zim smiled shyly and put it on, then popped in both contacts that had been sitting on the night stand.
"Give me a minute to call in sick for work again. I have a feeling we're going to be talking for a long time." Dib said.
