Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.


Scared To Be Lonely: Eight


CALLIE'S POV


It's been a few days since Arizona and I have spent time together but you know what? I'm okay with that. I told her we would take things slow. I told her I was okay with whatever she wanted, and I am. I am because she has been nothing short of amazing since I returned to Seattle, and I appreciate every invitation I've received from her so far. Of course, I'd love to spend unlimited amounts of time with her, but when I've been working, she has been available. When I've been available, she has been working. It's nothing new for us, but it still doesn't make things any easier. On Tuesday, she suggested that I come by today. Today being Friday. She made a comment about a movie and wine night, and I kind of suggested that we do it. She agreed, and now I'm desperately wanting to confirm with her. I'm craving her lips since Tuesday ended with a kiss. I'm craving everything about her. Everything I remember seems to be there again, and it makes me so happy to know that she is in a good place right now.

I think we are okay. You know, since the kiss. I can't be totally sure, though, since we've not had the chance to speak. She didn't pull away or suggest that she didn't want it to happen so I'm sure everything between us is fine. I just worry that I'm being too overbearing, I guess. I know I shouldn't worry, but yeah…if I'm being totally honest, I've laid awake for the past three nights thinking about it. The kiss. Her lips on my own. What it means for us. How she feels about it. Was it too soon? Was it too much? You have to stop worrying, Torres.

Rounding the nurse's station on the ortho floor, I hit the screen of my tablet and finish off my afternoon rounds. It feels good to be back here, in a familiar place, but all I've thought about all day is the possibility of catching Arizona. I know she's working since I saw her name on the board, but I'm trying to keep my distance. I'm not avoiding her, no…I'm just trying to do the right thing and let her come to me when she believes the right time comes. She is the one who told me she needed time. She is the one who never wanted us to end. I have to give her the space she needs. If she really wanted to see me, she would have paged me or called me. She would have contacted me in some way, even if it was just to say hi.

Setting my tablet down in its dock, I give my nurse a smile and push off of the counter. I stayed at Meredith's for a few days earlier in the week, but honestly, I'd sooner be at the hotel. I don't feel in the way when I'm locked away there. I don't feel like I have to hold a conversation unnecessarily when I'd sooner grab some sleep or think about Arizona. It was kind of her to offer, but last night I went back to the hotel. Mer gets it, though, so she wasn't offended. It was nice being there, but right now I need my own space. The only time I won't need space is when Arizona calls me. I'll be with her at any given opportunity.

Heading for the locker room, I slip my lab coat from my shoulders and take my belongings from the pockets. My cell sitting on the bench in front of me, it notifies me that I have unread mail, and my heart picks up speed a little.

Hey, stuck with a patient. Did you still want to do tonight? Az x

Yes, but don't worry if you don't feel up to it. Callie x

I may be a little later than usual. Can you collect Sofia? Az x

Sure. I'll take her back to the hotel with me. Callie x

No. Take her home. The spare key is under the plant to the left of the door. I'll see you soon. Az x

Wow, okay. Not what I expected today at all. I mean, I hoped she would contact me, but the longer this day has gone on, the more that hope lessened. I guess I just had to wait it out. Not only does she want to see me, but she has also asked me to take Sofia home from school. It's kind of nice knowing that she wants me to be there when she returns home from work. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but surely if she didn't want me there, she wouldn't have asked me to take Sofia back. She would have just allowed me to take her to the hotel.

Knowing that my evening is going to be spent with my family, I pick up my pace in the locker room and I suddenly feel the need to get out of here. I want to get out of here so I can shower and change before I collect my daughter from school. I want to look my best for my ex-wife, even if it isn't going to make any difference to our night. Even if it's all for nothing, at least I'll feel good about me.

You've got this, Torres. Go and be with your family…


Lifting the plant pot to the left of my ex-wife's door, I grab the spare key from underneath it and fix the pot back into place. Slipping the key into the lock, my daughter runs inside her home and heads straight for the couch. The TV controller in her hand, she glances over towards me and gives me a smile. "Mama, can you watch a movie with me?"

"I can, Mija." Stepping a little closer to her, I set her rucksack down beside her and give her a smile. "As soon as you have finished your homework."

"But, Mama…" She whines. "It's Friday."

"I know what day it is, Sofia." Raising my eyebrow, she rolls her eyes at me. "Don't." I hold up my hand. "If you do your homework now, you have the entire weekend to have fun and watch movies. Maybe even with mommy and me."

"Can we do that?" She asks, her lips curling into a smile.

"If mommy doesn't already have plans, yes." Throwing my thumb over my shoulder, she sits up in her seat. "Come on, dining table."

"Okay." Her shoulders a little slumped, she makes her way through the living room and climbs up onto a chair. "Can you make me a snack?"

"Sure." I'm sure Arizona wouldn't mind, but I don't want her to think that I'm trying to make myself comfortable. I don't want her to think that I'm trying to get my feet back under the table. I know that this is going to take time. "Mama will be right back." Heading into the kitchen, I grab some ingredients for a sandwich and move around with ease.

The door opening, Arizona steps inside and gives me a smile. "Hey…"

"H-Hi." I stutter. "Sorry, just…Sofia asked for a snack. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." She shrugs as she sets her keys and cell down. "Did you find everything you need?"

"I think so, yeah." Clearing my throat, I turn to face my ex-wife fully and find her leaning against the kitchen counter. "I wasn't sure I'd hear from you today."

"We arranged tonight, didn't we?" Furrowing her brow, I give her a nod.

"Yeah, just you know…Tuesday night?"

"What about it?" She asks.

"The kiss…"

"Oh, did you not want that to happen?" She gives me an awkward smile. "I'm so sorry…I just thought it was right in the moment. It won't happen again."

"No." I rush out. "I did want it. I'll always want it. I wasn't sure you felt the same way. I mean, we haven't had time to talk."

"Yeah." She runs her fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry about that. It's been a little crazy at the hospital. I wanted it, though."

"Okay." I nod.

Finishing off Sofia's snack, I brush past my ex-wife and she stops me with a hand on my wrist. Her lips finding my own, she smiles and pulls back. "Hi…"

"Hey…" My smile growing, it feels so good to have her lips on my own again. I'm not sure I'll ever fully realize how much I've missed it, but yeah…it feels amazing. So good. "I'm glad I'm here."

"I'm glad you're here, too." Her thumb brushing the skin of my wrist, she studies my face a few smiles. "You look really beautiful today."

"Thank you." A slight blush creeping up my neck, I didn't expect her to make a comment on my appearance. I know I dressed for her this evening, but I wasn't sure she would notice, and even if she did, I wasn't sure she would say anything. "You've looked amazing since the day I came back, so?"

"Okay, flattery will get you everywhere." She smirks as she pulls me into another kiss. "How about you go and give that to Sofia and then meet me back in here for coffee?"

"That I can do." The loss of contact felt immediately, I rush into my daughter and set down her snack. "Mama will just be in the kitchen, okay?"

"Okay, mama." Taking a carrot stick from her plate, she gives me a slight shrug and concentrates on the sheet in front of her. "Almost finished."

"Good girl." I place a kiss on my daughters head and step away from the dining table. Heading back towards the kitchen, I find Arizona braced against the kitchen sink and staring out of the window. "You okay?" Pulling her from her thoughts, she turns to face me and gives me a sad smile, tears slipping down her face. "Hey, what's up?"

"Just happy." She shrugs. "Sorry." Closing the distance between us, I take her hand in my own and she closes her eyes momentarily. "Calliope, I'm okay."

"Just want to make sure." I smile as I wipe away the tear that is slipping down her cheek. "Look at me, Arizona." Her gaze lifting a little, I dip my head and my eyes find hers. "There you are…"

"Really, I'm okay."

"I don't like seeing you upset," I admit. "Even if they are happy tears."

"Just…I feel so different." She runs her fingers through her hair. "I've thought about this happening for so long, and I felt so different about it."

"How did you feel before?"

"Like I wouldn't give you a second chance." She sighs. "Like, I'd see you and I'd remember how much we hurt each other and I'd walk away."

"And is that what you want to do?" I raise an eyebrow. "I need you to be honest with me. Yourself, too."

"God, no." Releasing a deep breath, she wraps her arms around my waist and gives me a smile. "I'm just saying that I imagined this to be totally different, is all."

"Thank you." I smile as I lean in a little closer, my lips ghosting over her own. "For being honest. It's all I want for us."

"Me too." She agrees. "Me too."


Flopping down on the couch beside Arizona, she hands me a glass of wine and I give her a thankful smile. Sofia went down without an issue tonight, but that could be down to the fun she had before Arizona and I fixed her a bath up. She gets excited easily, and it usually tires her out sooner than she would like. So now, we are pretty lucky that our daughter is in bed, and sleeping, before eight on a Friday night. Kinda perfect, really. Turning my head ever so slightly, I study Arizona's profile and she looks at ease. She seems relaxed. I'm still feeling a little strange to be here this evening since I haven't spoken to her for a few days, but it feels good to be here.

"You know, it's been so long since someone has sat watching me?" Her own eyes finding mine, I drop my gaze and toy with my wine glass.

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry." She replies. "It's just been a long time." Shifting a little closer to me, she lifts my arm and drapes it over her shoulder. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No, not at all." I smile as I settle back and enjoy the feeling of Arizona in my arms. "You comfortable?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." She breathes out. The movie playing quietly, I focus my eyes on the screen in front of me and my mind takes me away to anywhere but here. It takes me away to a time when we were once like this. When we were happy. In love. When nothing and nobody could come between us. It feels like a lifetime ago, but I guess that's because it was. It was a million years ago as far as I'm concerned, but I want us to get back to that place. It feels like it's been way too long since I sat with Arizona like this, and honestly…it hurts. It hurts to know that this could have all ended differently, or not at all even.

I never wanted to lose her from my life. I never wanted to hurt her the way that I did. I never wanted either of us to feel the pain we have over the past two years. It was unnecessary. Ridiculous. Arizona was right, though. When she said that we had to fall apart to come back together…she was totally right. I see it now. I see why I did what I did. Look how far we have come? It may not seem like much to anyone looking in from the outside, but we can feel it. The difference. The maturity. We can feel how right this is, and how wrong everything once was. So long as we can acknowledge that, nothing else matters.

My arm wrapping around her tighter, she sets her wine glass down and makes herself a little more comfortable. Her own arm wrapping around my waist, she curls up beside me as best as she can and I pull a blanket down from the back of the couch. Draping it over her body, she glances up at me and her eyes shine. God, I've missed those eyes. I've missed everything about this woman. We may have spent some of the best years together, but I suspect the best is truly yet to come if we can do this right. There is no reason why Arizona and I can't grow old together. There is no reason why we wouldn't want to.

"You are so warm." She whispers as I run my fingers through her hair. "Just like you always were."

"And you are as beautiful as you always were." Curling my fingers beneath her chin, she props herself up onto her elbow and leans in a little closer. "So beautiful."

"Calliope…" Her smile widening a little, she speaks barely above a whisper. "I, uh…I think I need you to stay the night."

"Okay." I nod.

"No, I mean stay the night…with me." Her words sending my head a little dizzy, I pull back and study her face. "And I'd say 'if you want', but I really need you to, so I'm not going to say that. Just…stay with me?"

"I'd love to stay with you…" Pulling her up into my arms, she sits in my lap and her arms wrap around my neck. "I'd really love to stay the night with you, Arizona."

"We've spent too many nights apart, Callie." Her bottom lip ghosting across my top, her breath makes me shiver and my lips curl into a smile. "Far too many nights apart…"

"I know." I give her the slightest nod in agreement as my nose brushes against her own. "I've missed waking beside you…"

"Yeah?" She smiles against my mouth. "You have?"

"I have." Pressing my lips against her own, she releases a low moan and my hand comes to rest on her thigh. "So much." Drawing circles against her denim-clad thigh, my hand slips further back and grips her ass. Shifting a little, I maneuver myself until I'm flat on my back and Arizona is resting against me. "And I've missed this."

"Mm?" She asks, her thumb grazing my cheek as her eyes bore into my soul.

"Making out with you on the couch." I smile.

"Oh, I missed this the worst." She agrees. "Like you wouldn't believe." Her hands slipping beneath my blouse, my skin ignites and every nerve ending comes to life within my body. Arizona always did have a way of making me feel amazing, and that hasn't changed. It hasn't lessened. I don't know where this night will end up, but I have a pretty good idea. Do I want this with her? More than anything. Do I believe this is the right thing for us? I do. I definitely do.


Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Again, thanks for the response to this fic. It wasn't what I expected at all.