(Stalemate Half Broken)
When Garnet was seven, her father had taken her on a boating trip. It was a beautiful ship, a gift from Uncle Cid. Sleek with red panels and billowing sails and stretches of white canvas that patched the witchwood deck in inky shadow.
Garnet had never been on a boat before (not to her inaccurate recollection, anyway) and scampered here and there in a blue dress and giant sun hat. There'd been a fisherman on board too, a man that her father trusted to navigate the shallow, crystal waters of Alexandria's coastline, and he had caught an octopus. It was a large thing, its head the same size as Garnet's, its legs undulating as the man held it out for her to see.
She'd been terrified. It contemplated her with pupils that were devilish slits against golden backgrounds and she was haunted by the image of its three needle teeth for weeks after. When the fishermen placed it on the deck she screamed and shrieked and when it started moving, gods, she shot away and near threw herself overboard to escape. The way its legs rose and fell, sucking against the wooden surface. The way it dragged its giant head along, blindly searching for the sea again. Garnet shuddered whenever she laid eyes on one.
And it just so happened that the Iifa Tree reminded Garnet of exactly that; the tree had been plucked from its natural homeland (a dense forest, perhaps, or some rolling plains), unceremoniously dumped in the middle of a parched desert, and had promptly tried to crawl back to wherever it had come; its twisting roots were octopus tentacles, heaving the bulk of the trunk along with them.
So even if Iifa turned out to be the Tree of Love and Sunshine, Garnet still would've hated it, and having connotations of Kuja, War, Death and Mist attached to it did nothing to quell her negative notions. And the zombie-like creatures that shrieked some nightmare inducing shriek and bled dust and flaked their rotting skin all over the trunks and positively infested the giant tree only deepened her dislike.
But with Eiko by her side zombie states were easily overcome, and for once Zidane took the back seat, aiding them only when the devils got too close for comfort and spell casting was inhibited. So the crossing was unpleasant but not hard going for them, the only one to suffer being poor Vivi, who did struggle at times because of his fear of heights. Yet the roots and branches were so narrow and the drop beneath so vast nobody really blamed him. Except for Eiko, whom had sighed dramatically before proclaiming him 'the biggest baby that ever lived', taken his hand and bravely led him onward.
And somewhere above, lost within a dense tangle of branches and leaves, was Kuja. The bane of Garnet's existence. 'A temporary bane,' Zidane had reassured her, 'because I'm gonna kick his ass from here to Alexandria and back again'.
So they trekked on to meet him. On and on and on. The roots were endless. Criss-crossing and interweaving and snaking above, below, side and side. Both Mist and the enormous canopy blotted the sun, but the heat was sticky and uncomfortable (not dissimilar to the swamp, though thankfully mosquito-free). The Mist swirled, a grey veil brushing ethereal fingers about their ankles.
Zidane abruptly came to a halt and frowned at the giant trunk, currently dominating the view north of them. "We'll pass the trunk if we go any further," he stated. "Kuja went down that trunk."
"Say, Zidane… How are we gonna get up there?" Eiko asked, considering the massive height of the tree.
And of course Mr. Logical replied: "Can't we climb up?"
"Not me!" said Eiko.
"M-me, neither," added Vivi.
Garnet sighed, glancing at Zidane. "I don't think I can, either."
The thief's shoulders slumped and he pursed his lips grumpily. "And we came all this way…Now what?"
"What's the problem?" Their newfound companion asked gruffly, crossing his arms and tilting his head so he could throw Zidane a mocking glare from beneath his red dreadlocks. "You should go by yourself!"
Garnet still didn't understand why Zidane had asked Amarant to come along. She was a little irked with Eiko's affiliation into the group simply because she was another child to take care of (albeit a very independent and capable child) but she understood and sympathised with Eiko's plight, so didn't think Zidane's decision entirely unprecedented.
But Amarant… well, he was another matter. The man had hunted her down under orders of her mother, bore a very blatant grudge against Zidane, which made the atmosphere tense and uneasy at times (Zidane was either oblivious or doing well to ignore it) and he was rude, selfish and uncooperative to boot. She simply didn't understand Zidane's reasons, and had a good mind to ask him the moment Amarant snaked away to do whatever it was he did when he departed from the group.
"- face Kuja together," Zidane was saying.
Amarant snorted. "How did this wimp end up beating me?" And he strode across the narrow branch, nearly pushing Eiko and Vivi over the side with an air of exaggerated indifference.
"Hey Amarant!" Zidane snarled, bristling at the sight of his friends being mistreated. "Watch where you're walking!"
"'He who hesitates is lost,'" Amarant stated blandly, now face to face with the thief. "You'd best remember that."
Garnet bit her lip nervously. A fight between them now would be highly inconvenient, for Kuja could leave at any minute, and the fall would be death-evoking if either were to lose footing. She didn't put it past Amarant to push the blonde boy, either.
"You almost knocked me down!" Eiko cried, as if reinforcing Garnet's thought.
Her plea went ignored though as Zidane waved his hand with a theatrical flourish and said to Amarant, "Well, I prefer 'my way or the highway.'"
"Whatever," the bounty hunter snorted, as unimpressed by Zidane's uninspiring retort as Garnet. "As if you actually have a plan."
"Oh yeah, smarty-pants!?" (Eiko has such a loud voice for such a little girl! Garnet contemplated as the shriek pierced her eardrums.) "Don't forget you're the one who lost to Zidane!"
"Shut up, brat."
"A plan, huh?" Zidane was staring at the roots with his arms crossed. After a moment contemplation his perplexed expression morphed into a mischievous grin. "That's right Amarant. You owe me one, remember? It's pay back time!"
"Shoot."
"There's some gargant grass around here, so a gargant can't be far." Oh gods, Garnet thought, not again! "I want you to catch one for me. Then we can all get on and ride it to the top."
No, no, no! No way am I doing that again! Not after last time! If he thinks he's going to trick me just so he can have another –
"Why should I do all that," Amarant interrupted her trepidations, "when I could just take the kids up myself?"
"Huh?"
But Amarant didn't explain further. He groaned at Zidane's bewildered expression then strolled casually toward the wide-eyed Eiko and trembling Vivi. The poor kids didn't know what hit them until Amarant had plucked them from the roots, tucked them in the crook of his arm and leapt upward onto the nearest branch. Garnet clapped a hand over her mouth as Eiko's infuriated yells and Vivi's incomprehensible stuttering became lost amid a tangle of flora.
"He sure has spirit!" Zidane incongruously chirped. He turned to the princess, who eyed him suspiciously. "Alright, Dagger… I'll just carry you piggy-back."
Garnet blinked stupidly as Zidane closed the gap between them. "Huh? Hey! Zidane! Wait just a –" He held his arms out (inducing deja vu) and she took a few steps backward, out of harm's reach. Zidane came to a halt, slightly bemused. "Z-Zidane! You can't just –"
"C'mon then, hurry up. They'll reach the top before we do!"
"That's not the point! It's not a race! I don't want to be carried!"
He grinned. "Aw, but you let me carry you before…"
"Ooh, don't you dare! As I recall I didn't have choice because you grabbed me and – "
"And I'll do it again if you don't hurry up. And I'll make the riding position even more embarrassing than last time."
Garnet simmered a little, hands clenched fists by her side. He would do it, she knew. Zidane rarely bluffed, and she couldn't imagine a position worse than the last one.
In the end, she consented and he turned round and squatted a little. She contemplated his back, a little perplexed and feeling ridiculously absurd. How does one mount a person…? Oh gods, this is so embarrassing!
"Hurry up!" the thief quipped, actually getting short-tempered with her reluctance. Better than teasing, Garnet thought and approached him cautiously, as if he were a wild beast easy to startle.
"Um…"
"Just climb on!"
Aaah, this is so embarrassing! Oh gods if Steiner were here he'd have such a fit!
She hopped off the ground and onto his back, thighs encircling his waist and arms looping about his neck.
She could've died with embarrassment right then. Really she could have. At least with the gargant the fear of falling was a distraction but now… This is the most un-ladylike thing I have ever done. Can this situation get any worse?
A wily hand snaked along the outside of her thigh and came to rest on her left buttock.
Garnet hesitated only a second.
"GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW!"
Her cry was so loud that even Amarant, Eiko and Vivi must have heard, all the way up the trunk, and she kicked the lecherous thief so hard in the stomach he doubled over and she had to cling for dear life to prevent toppling over his head.
"Oof!" he grunted. "H-hey what was that for? I have to hold on to you!"
"Yes but you do not have to touch my… my… behind in the process!"
Zidane sniffed disdainfully and regained his footing. "Geez, you don't have to get so mad…"
"I most certainly do! Don't you think it's embarrassing enough to have to cling to you like this without you… you… groping like a drunk in a bar?"
"Hehehe…"
"And I find this situation far from humourous, Zidane Tribal, so stop laughing right this instant!"
"Yes, ma'am." He tentatively grasped her beneath the kneecaps, waited to gauge her reaction ("That's fine but your hand better not move," she quipped) then examined the trunk broodingly. "S'gonna be tough," he contemplated, almost to himself. Then, a little louder, "You're gonna have to hold on tight 'cause I'm not gonna be able to hold on to you all the time. I need to use both hands to climb. Some of the terrain looks real steep…"
Garnet peered over the top of his head and groaned. How had Amarant managed? Maybe Eiko and Vivi had clung to his arms...?
"In fact…" Zidane went on, "If you don't mind, I think I'd rather do this…"
"Do what?" Garnet asked just as something soft and wiry coiled about her waist and constricted like a python. She gasped and leaned back, surveying the furry appendage that had ensnared her middle. The tip thumped her tummy amiably.
"Safety harness," Zidane joked, and before she had a chance to protest he released his grip on her legs (she almost fractured several of his ribs with her thighs) and took a gigantic leap. The roots fell away beneath them and the air went whooshing in her ears, ruffling her hair and making her squint. It was both terrifying and exhilarating at once, and over very quickly. The trunk loomed before them, the texture of the trunk horrifically enormous, and Zidane outstretched both arms and grabbed at the net of vines ensnaring the bulk ahead. His boots thunked against the trunk and Garnet numbly thought: I'm falling backward, because they skidded down a way, Zidane's feet seeking purchase and gloves smoking as the vines ripped through his palms.
But eventually they slid to a halt; a yawning drop beneath and outstretched leaves above.
"…Ack… D-Dagg…ergh!"
"Wha-"
"Y-you're… ch-choke… choking… m-me!"
"Ah!" she yelped as she loosened her grip on his neck. "S-sorry!"
Death grip slackened, Zidane panted for breath and clung to the wiry vines with white-knuckled fervour. "Phew," he sighed after a moment. "You okay?"
"Y-yes."
"Hold on tight then, I'm climbing up. There's a lot of branches overhead so we should be able to jump from each one until we reach the top."
"Okay." She paused. "Thanks, Zidane."
"Aw, it's nothing," he replied as he began to climb, one foot over the other, one hand over the other.
"Nothing, nothing, nothing," she repeated tiredly. "Always nothing with you."
"Now you're just bein' patronising."
"I'm not! I mean it, Zidane, you've… you've done so much for me. For everyone!"
"It's noth-"
"Gah, there you go again! I guess I owe you a lot though…"
"You can make it up to me with a really hot kiss!"
"You lost your chance when you grabbed my behind again."
"Aww…" He paused and looked over his shoulder. She thought he'd turned to claim his kiss, so jerked backward, but he was only surveying the tangle of branches behind. Then, without warning, he propelled himself from the trunk, flew through the air and landed with all the dexterity of cat on an adjacent branch. He straightened and continued the conversation as if nothing had occurred. "So, are you saying I had a chance before I accidentally grabbed your ass?"
"N-no!"
"That's too bad. I'm a good kisser, y'know."
"Yeah, I'm sure you've been around…" Garnet retorted grumpily, glaring at the ungainly mop of hair in front of her.
"Now that's not fair!" he protested with genuine sting. "I never said that! You don't have to get good by gettin' around a lot. I mean, I've had my fair share but…"
Garnet was feeling highly uncomfortable with this subject; she hated the way Zidane overplayed his accomplishments. If he was trying to impress her, he was certainly going about it the wrong way. "You might as well cut that rubbish out," she snapped assertively, "because I know you're not as hard as you make out to be."
"You haven't seen me in the mornings then…"
"What?"
"…Nevermind. What makes you think that, anyway?"
Garnet stared off at the canopy, biting her lip. Zidane made another death-defying leap, and another and another, landing safely and continuing onward without even becoming vaguely short of breath.
"Oh, I just know," she answered expansively.
"Aw, come ooonnn. That's not fair! What do you know that I don't?"
"A considerable amount."
"Hey, you owe me one remember? If lugging you up a tree isn't enough to earn a man some credit, I don't know what is!"
He does have a point. "Zidane… What do you…" She paused, choosing her words carefully. "What do you want… when you're older?"
"Huh? When I'm older? Err… that's a weird question. I don't really think about it. I do the here and now and tomorrow comes when it comes, you get me?"
"Is that so?"
"Yeaaahh. Why?"
"Oh, I've just heard a little differently, that's all."
"From who?"
"Now that would be telling."
Zidane clucked his tongue, made another leap and almost missed this time. He grasped a tangle of leaves that whispered away through his fingers before he managed to seize the branch beneath. They swung for a second, suspended over the cavernous fall, and Zidane's tail tightened about her waist before he hauled them both up.
The canopy was closer now.
"I suppose," he said, returning to the previous thread of conversation, "I want the same as you."
"As me?"
"Yep."
"What do I want?"
"Now that would be telling."
Damn, he's quick. Another stalemate, then?
"But you know…" he continued, while gauging the distance between the branch they were currently occupying and another. "I think I prefer you when you're sleeping."
"Hey, that's not nice!"
He made the leap and made it. "No, no. I don't mean it nastily. 'Cause you're nice awake and asleep. But when you're asleep you're a lot more honest. And cuddly."
"S-stop making fun of me!"
"Heh heh."
"Well, you're a lot more honest when you're unconscious too!" Garnet retorted childishly. "And you don't play up to that awful 'I'm-such-a-stud' routine -"
"Now that was a cheap shot…"
"- and I know all those little secrets you hide, like a sneaky rat storing away other people's trash!"
"The pot can't call the kettle black."
He climbed in silence for a while, neither of them granting any leeway. Once again, they had reached a stalemate and Garnet pouted moodily, watching the branches slide by. She idly noted that his hair smelt like charcoal and rain.
"That day…" she said quietly. "When I woke up in the tent and you were… you know."
"Mmm?"
"What… why did you… how did that…"
"It wasn't my fault."
She huffed. "Oh yeah? Whose fault was it, then?"
"Not mine."
"Stop being so evasive!"
"No, you stop being so evasive. You're the one that likes playing these games with me."
"G-games? I most certainly – "
"Yeah ya do."
"Fine. Think what you like. I don't care if I talked in my sleep. I don't care what I said. But I want to know why we were… were embracing. Like that. It was out of line, Zidane, and you know it! It was beyond audacious; it was downright intrusive! If we'd been anywhere else you could have been arrested for - "
"Dagger." His voice was stern, cutting through her admonishments. "You asked me to do that."
She froze, heart tripling in speed.
No.
No, he's lying.
I would never –
"I would never say something like that!"
"You did."
"I… I don't believe you."
"Fine. But if you believe I'd take advantage of you like that, then you don't know me at all. I like girls, and I like you, but I'm not that kind of guy. I wouldn't force anything on anyone, especially you."
Garnet swallowed, hardly noticing as the ground disappeared again and another branch was mounted. Surely he wasn't… telling the truth? She wouldn't ask something like that… right? Oh gods, I don't even know!
"Zidane… did I… really ask you to… to hold me like that?"
"Yes."
"Did I… say why?"
"Yes."
What did I say what did I say –
"And I'm not tellin' you what it was until you tell me what I said."
Garnet sighed and clung tighter to him, slightly frightened. She felt like everything she knew was falling away. Where would this conversation take them? She didn't want to reveal her secret – his secret. It was something she'd clung to like a priest clutches a cross in a time of need. It became something sacred and precious. She wanted it all to herself forever and ever. Why? Well, she wasn't sure.
But of course, it was more than unfair to keep it from Zidane. It was downright spiteful. Blackmail, was the word that sprung to mind. So she decided to end this stupid game once and for all. "Alright," she said. "I'll tell you."
"I'm listening."
"But you promise you'll tell me what I said after?"
"Yes!"
She took a deep breath. "It… was while we were at the swamp. You don't really remember, do you? But you got really sick from the mosquitoes. Quina said it was Qu Fever."
"Yeah, he told me."
"You were unconscious for hours and delirious, mumbling incoherently a lot of the time. I had to stay up with you to make sure you got your medicine and well… to make sure you were okay in general, I guess."
"…"
"So, a few hours after you passed out, I was mopping your forehead with a wet cloth and you suddenly started to come round a bit. And you err… you asked for Blank a few times –"
"What?"
"You asked for Blank."
"Oh. Geez." She felt him grimace. "How embarrassing. Don't ever tell him, okay?"
"I wont. Anyway, you asked for him and then you… you asked for someone else…"
"Someone else?"
"Yeah."
"Who?"
"Her name… is Gabriella."
Zidane fell silent. Garnet subtly pressed her right hand against his chest and felt the hammer of his heart. During that time he leapt another three branches consecutively, concentration and balance unperturbed by her words.
Eventually, "Gabriella, huh? That's a nice name, but I don't know anyone called that."
"No," Garnet agreed evenly, concluding he didn't remember his admission. "She's not around, yet."
But realised her mistake as soon as he said, "Yet?"
"Err… yeah. Or ever."
"Oh." Disappointment? Her imagination. "What else did I say about her?"
"That she's… she's very pretty."
"Mmm."
"And… you call her Gaby."
"Mmm."
She paused, a little awkward now because she couldn't tell if he was feigning ignorance or if it was genuine. He was strangely sombre and the end of his tail was twitching against her abdomen in what could have been agitation. "You said some other stuff, too."
"About…?"
"Us."
"Damn it, Dagger, you're being pretty vague!"
"Well, it's embarrassing!"
He didn't say anything for a long while after that, and Garnet knew their time was running out because they were amid clusters of leaves and the branches were thick and easy to climb. After a moment, he stopped and crouched and told her to get down; she could walk from here. She obliged and stretched her cramping legs, feeling the lingering sensation of his tail about her waist.
When she looked up he was standing directly in front of her, face devoid of any expression.
"What?" she said.
He didn't break eye contact. "I guess I said… 'it', huh?"
"What's 'it'?"
"I can tell by the way you're acting. Honestly, I don't really care what I said, but I'd rather of said it to your face than when I was passed out."
"What are you talking ab –"
"And just so you know, I meant everything I said. And I know you did too, even though you were sleeping."
"What did I say?"
He took a step closer and reached out a hand. She realised he was actually trembling. She'd never seen him tremble. "Dagger, you… "
"Oi, monkey, you sure took your sweet time!"
Garnet had never cursed in her life, but she came ever so close in that second. And even though the vulgarities refused to come, the words, 'No, no, no, go away! Go away!' we're painfully closer. Thorns in her throat.
"What are you two talkin' about?" Eiko yelled from the branch above. "There's no time to waste! We can see Kuja!"
"Shit," Zidane hissed through gritted teeth and he was away in a flash, ending the conversation with the intention to finish it once Kuja was disposed of.
But if he'd known what terrible incidents would tear them apart in the hours to come, he would have stopped and finished his sentence right there and then. It might have saved them both a lot of heartbreak.
Was anyone else pissed off beyond all reason when they unsubtly cut out the bit where Zidane gives Garnet a piggyback up the Iifa Tree? Seriously, what's with that? I was like, what the hell!? Why would you cut out what could be a freakin' brilliant Zidag scene!? WHY!? THINK OF THE FANS!! THINK OF THE FAAAANNNNSSSS!!! :pants: Oh well. I hope I filled in that little gap, anyway. Please review!
