Chapter 10

WENDY POV

Today, after being stuck in bed for three days straight, I was going to try standing up. It made me want to vomit, I was about ready to collapse, but I did it. And for the first time in a while, I actually felt hungry. My meal tray sat there waiting for me. But as I started to eat, I could only stomach half a bowl of oatmeal before I started to feel sick. Maybe that was enough for now…why did I feel so nauseous? I ran to throw up into the trash can, and moaned loudly enough for a Healer to come running in to help me. She held my hair back and kept me cooled off. For the next hour or so I remained there, vomiting my guts out and feeling absolutely miserable. Then, as suddenly as it had come, the nausea vanished and I felt perfectly fine. The Healer made sure I could keep down a glass of water for the next ten minutes, then left the room. When I was sure that she was gone, I rummaged around under the bed for the small bit of Floo Powder I kept hidden for emergencies. Finally, I found it and headed for the fireplace.

"Hogwarts!" I shouted, throwing the powder into the fireplace. I smiled at the sight of the emerald flames roaring up at me. Stepping into the warm fire, I thought of how this used to frighten me, and now it was just so familiar. I was whisked off to my destination, and in less than a minute was spit out into the Gryffindor fireplace and between Cassie and Fredrick, who were having an argument.

"Well who says you can-" Cassie's voice broke off and she looked down at me. I scrambled to my feet and brushed myself off.

"Oh, look who arrived," Fredrick snapped sarcastically. "Can't we ever have a minute alone?" I ignored him and turned to Cassie, who was still speechless.

"Wendy," she breathed, recovering slightly.

"Hey," I said casually. "Thought I might drop in for a little check up, you know…where's Erica?" I looked around, but she was nowhere in sight. Cassie hesitated, biting her lip.

"I…you just got here," she said, changing the subject. "Why don't you get something to eat and change? I'm sure you could use a moment to relax," I opened my mouth to protest, but something in her eyes was a little off. Something that said that I wouldn't like what she had to say later on…I sighed and went off to find my trunk, wondering why I had suddenly gotten sick and healthy again.

ERICA POV

Oh, crap! I really screwed things up now! I truly had to explain myself…but how? Where would I begin? And would they even come close to understanding? Looking down at my arms, I wondered if this was justified. Did this really satisfy me, even the slightest? No. I frowned. Then what caused that moment of ecstasy, if not the bright red blood flowing across my skin? Then I realized. It wasn't the blood. It wasn't the pain. It was feeling something. I felt so numb, so empty for so long now, even right in this very moment I struggled to find real emotion in my expression. And nothing came. All emotion had long since been stripped away from me, leaving nothing but an empty shell of a person. I sighed and left the hospital wing, sick of sitting there doing nothing and wanting someone to bring out those long hidden emotions inside of me. Can't someone undo this numb, hopeless feeling inside my heart, reawaken my ability to care about something? As I shuffled down the corridor, I was stopped by someone familiar. Wendy! She was pale and thin, but was happy to see me.

"Erica?" She seemed slightly confused, but very pleased.

"Hello," I mumbled dully. I don't care. I just don't care anymore. Can't you see? Are you really that blind?

"Cassie said you might be over here, and I just wanted to see if I could get any answers. She wouldn't tell me anything. What happened?"

"Nothing," I said.

"Don't give me that, you were in the hospital wing, for crying out loud!" Her eyes were soft with concern despite her harsh response. She did care…didn't she? It was hard to tell, with the mixed messages running in my head. Nobody cares about you. They all hate you, you are ugly and will never amount to anything!

"I can't tell you,"

"Sure you can, I'm your best friend, aren't I?" I started to talk, but was held back my more hammering reminders from HIM. More insults, more lashes of the whip, more pain…You sick bastard! What makes you think you can butter me up like that to get what you want! I don't ever want to see your face again! No meals for a week! In your room! Now!

"It's not that simple," I protested. "It's not like you care anyway, or any of you care. And it's not like…you're really my friends! I mean, you would've found out a long time ago something was wrong if you really cared, Wendy! But nobody cares! Nobody! I'm all alone, forced to deal with my step father every day over the summer! He calls me all these names and constantly punishes me, and you know what? I believe him. And then you guys are there to compliment me and give me encouragements without the slightest clue what goes on in my head, and I feel just a little better. But not by much, now do I? And the next summer it starts all over again, and for the past three years my spirits have been sinking lower and lower and lower till I couldn't feel anything anymore! But I wanted to feel something, and it worked for a while. But then Cassie found me unconscious of the bathroom floor with the knife in my hand, I'm assuming, because I ended up here. Don't think that it's that simple to solve al my problems, because the scars will never go away! I'm telling you! Don't look at me like that! I s-s-s-swear! D-don't!" Suddenly, I was crying. Tears streamed down my cheeks and splashed onto my robes. Wendy came up and hugged me tightly. After a minute, I calmed down enough to look at her again.

"Do you feel better now?" she asked quietly. I thought about it for a minute. It felt as if a part of the weight had been lifted off my chest and I could breathe easier now.

"Somewhat," I admitted. "You look starving. Let's go get breakfast while it's still hot, okay?" She nodded and we headed for the Great Hall together. We talked for a long time, sharing our own problems and mirroring concern for Cassie. I was starting to dislike Fredrick. Wendy replayed his sarcastic rude comment from earlier, and questioned it.

"Hm, maybe it was just a coincidence that he happened to say that. He probably didn't mean anything?"

"Erica, come on. Be realistic. He's a jerk. We know he could be hurting Cassie, and she might be hiding it from us in fear,"

"But we don't know that," I pointed out, setting my plate aside and putting my elbows there, manners be damned.

"That's what scares me the most," Wendy murmured.

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone for the amount of response I've gotten thus far, and I should be wrapping up this one soon. So sorry once again for the slow update for those who have really enjoyed the story so far. Anyway, yeah. Thanks once again for all the reviews, flame or not. At least you cared enough to respond, right?