Boss: Please. Someone review. I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here and I don't want this to be one of those stories that end up lost in the back of the archives. If anything, can anyone tell me of other writing sites that stay pretty active that I could also post this to? I'm actually kinda proud of this one.

Anyway, please read.

Enjoy.


Three days had passed without incident so far and the Boss had taken to staying in her painting room more often, only giving the rest of the crew more room to openly voice what was on their minds regarding her without having to keep low tones. It wasn't an urgent thing and it actually made the rest of them feel a bit more at ease not having to be so hush hush around the Boss, but it also kinda concerned them that they didn't have eyes on her all the time. They weren't sure if it was a form of self-isolation or not. but Johnny assured them she was fine and they didn't need to worry about her. Kinzie and Matt managed to settle back down after their initial freakout at what they discovered but they knew they needed to speak to Johnny about it. Knew they needed him to tell them what he knew, what he saw, what he was keeping quiet, and Johnny, well, he knew the same damn thing and he knew he was putting it off. But he was Johnny fucking Gat. It wasn't like they could really MAKE him do anything he didn't want to do in the first place, so him making the decision to talk to the Nerd Duo about what they all knew they knew about (fucking english, man) in all honesty had nothing to do with the stares they would occasionally give him that seemed as if they were trying to pick his brains or a fight. Normally, any problem that reared it's head could be solved with a little murder, but even Johnny had to swallow his sociopathic murderous pride and admit that this time, it required a little more thought and a little less gun slinging.

These days, he found himself wandering around the ship more often, becoming familiar with all the weird ass twists, turns, staircases, halls, and elevators all over the place. It was good to know your surroundings for many reasons, one of which would be for yet another fucking attack on the Saints or their newly acquired empire in general and luckily, Johnny found the ship to be pretty tactically sound. Zinyak was a hoarding dictator fuckwad, but the guy knew what he was doing with the ship. Of course, as large as the ship was, Johnny wasn't about to go around the whole fucking thing and decided he had put off talking to Matt and Kinzie long enough. He let out an annoyed groan as he made his way back to docking bay to find the two. On his way, Pierce had caught sight of Johnny heading to the ship and noticed how tense he seemed. He shoved the microphone in his hand into Zinjai's chest, who slowly took it.

"Here. Work on what we did the other day for a while. I'll be right back", he said as he jumped down from the stage and waltzed over to Johnny. "Johnny, man. Where you headed?". Johnny sighed and jerked his head towards the ship.

"Gotta talk to the two geniuses on board. Why? You need something?". Pierce shook his head.

"No. But I gotta ask. How's the Boss?"

"Why don't you go ask her yourself?"

"Johnny. I ain't stupid. I know something's up and I know you know. There ain't a damn thing about her you don't know, it's the rest of us here that are still in the dark. So tell me...how's the Boss?". Good old Pierce. They picked on him relentlessly but the man was smart when it came down to people. He was there for the Boss when Johnny couldn't be. Everyone noticed her odd shift from her normal behavior but some of them noticed it on a deeper level, mostly the main crew. The three that were there to see the most of the Boss. Johnny rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses before looking at his friend.

"Look. Whether or not she's alright ain't necessarily my place to say, just give her some space for now"

"Dammit, Johnny, what the hell is goin' on?" Pierce sighed. "The Boss ain't right these days. She's always been crazy as all hell, but this is different. This ain't her usual self. You know it, I know it, Shaundi knows it, Kinzie knows it, hell, we all know it but nobody's sayin' a damn thing to her about it cause we all know that ain't a good idea. But we all know how close you and the Boss are. We know you probably know what's up. I'm not askin' you to tell me what it is. I'm askin' if she's alright. We went through some similar stuff with Shaundi, but Shaundi became meaner and harder. The Boss...not so much. She don't really talk. There's no expression on her face. There ain't nothin' there anymore, Johnny. It's like she's not even the Boss anymore-"

"Watch it, Pierce", Johnny cut in at that last sentence. Pierce shook his head.

"Not like that. She's still the Boss. She just...doesn't seem like OUR Boss anymore". Pierce was right and Johnny knew it. If they were to have this conversation in front of the whole crew, they would all more than likely agree with him, too. Johnny clenched his jaw, making Pierce's brow furrow. "Look, if I said some shit you don't like, I-"

"Follow me, Pierce"

"What?"

"I didn't fuckin' stutter. Just follow me", he said, heading into the ship. Pierce wearily followed him through the doors of the ship.

"I ain't walkin' into an ass whoopin', am I?"

"Not if you stop askin' questions", Johnny replied as they ended up in the cargo bay. Matt's head shot up from the monitor beside his couch and he swallowed nervously upon seeing the two older Saints come into his corner unannounced.

"Uhh, h-hey, guys. What brings you down here?" Matt said, attempting to make small talk to relieve his sudden spike of discomfort.

"Get Kinzie in here. We need to talk"

Matt's stomach dropped.


The Boss basked in the moments when she spaced out into what she was doing so much, her mind went blank. It was so nice to just not think for a little while. She'd love to be doing so with a gun in each hand, making blood puddles everywhere around her with a slight ring in her ears, but if she were to fire a few rounds off here, they'd all be sucked up into the vacuum of space and Johnny wasn't letting her anywhere near the simulation pods, so being shut up in her self established 'fuck off' room would have to do. It didn't dawn on her until later that she spent so much time in there, she couldn't even smell the paint anymore until she opened the door and a waft of air came rushing in. The last time she did this, she was living in Stilwater and never set foot outside unless forced. Now, it was happening again. Sometimes she would skip eating just to sit in her room and try to cope with...whatever the hell was going on at this point. She was fucking tired. Physically and mentally. In terms of emotionally, she didn't know what the fuck was going on. It was just a swirling vortex of clusterfuck after clusterfuck and at this point, she didn't even bother bugging Johnny about it. Anytime she heard those telltale footsteps coming down the hall, she would quickly throw something up onto the easel and make it look like she was concentrating on something other than how much everything was crushing her.

It was weighing down. All of it. So much so, she was beginning to question her position as the head of the Saints. There was no question that she made it clear that SHE was the Boss. But if this carried on, what would the crew do when they found out? Would they turn against her? Would they make it a point to put someone else in her position? Memories of what happened with Keith and what she heard when she found the audio logs belonging to him popped up and she clenched her jaw. It made her stomach turn thinking about him possibly taking her place. She trusted her crew. She knew they wouldn't do that. But at the same time, she knew better than to ever think they would just blindly and mindlessly follow her. They had their own thoughts and feelings about shit and they shared it with her. If they found her unfit to lead them anymore...would they say so?

And once again, it was there. The burning, suffocating feeling of mounting anxiety. She went from sitting down on the floor in front of the makeshift easel to lying down on the floor with her paint stained arm over her eyes and ended up swinging her leg into the easel, sending it skittering across the tarps spread over the metal floor. The music playing in the room was at a reasonable level but at this point, she could barely hear the song much less the words. All she could hear was static. Her mind was full of static. Nothing but static.

Krsssshhhhhhh

Nothing.

Krsssshhhhhhh

But.

Krssssshhhhhhpatheticssssshhhhh

...static?

It took the Boss a moment to realize that the music did in fact turn into static, but she swore she could hear something in it. Was...was something speaking in the static?

Krsssshhhhhhhyou'repatheticssssssshhhhhhhhh

"...the fuck?" she quietly mumbled as she slowly sat up from her spot on the floor to look at the monitor. The normal cool blue screen was nothing but a hazy grey mess of snow and the Boss frowned, staring at the screen. She could see something there. Was that a fucking face? The Boss stood up and approached the screen, her brow stuck in a frown as she stepped closer.

Krsssshhhhhhyoufuckingletmediesssssshhhhhhhhhhh

Lin. Lin's face began flashing in and out in the snow patterns of the screen. Not in color. It was still in the monochromatic scales of the snow. But it was clear. It was Lin.

KrsssshhhhhhIfuckingtrustedyouandyouletmediessssshhhhhhyouletmedieinthetrunkofmyownfuckingcarssssshhhhhhh

"No. No, it wasn't like that!" the Boss suddenly yelled, her breathing beginning to speed up. "Lin, no, I-". The static began to flicker in and out again and Lin's face shifted to Carlos.

KrssshhhhhItrustedyousssshhhhItrustedyouwithmylifessssshhhhhhh

An unbearable queasiness set itself in the Boss's stomach and she felt ready to vomit as she felt the bile rise in her throat.

KrssshhhhhIdideverythingIcouldforyoussssshhhhhandallthatdidwasgetmekilledsssssshhhhhhh

"Carlos, no, I didn't know they-"

KrsssshhhhhhhhIwasdraggedformilesbehindatruckandallyoucoulddowasfinishmeoffssssssshhhhhhh

The Boss couldn't take it anymore. Her knees gave out and she ended up hunched over on the floor, the bile and whatever was in her stomach coming up all over the tarp under her as the static continued.

Krsssshhhhhhhhyougotmekilledsssssshhhhhhh

It wouldn't stop. Not even when her stomach was empty and nothing was left. Not even when nothing but acid was searing through her esophagus and tears burned their way to her eyes did it stop. It didn't even stop at the dry heaves.

Krssssshhhhhhyougotthemkilledfornothingplayasssshhhhh

Julius. That motherfucker.

Krssssshhhhhhlookatwhatyou'vedonessssshhhhhallthepeopleyou'veletdiessssshhhhhthoseViceKingsshouldafinishedyouoffsssssshhhhhhhh

"ShutupshutupshutupSHUT UP!" she screamed suddenly as she popped up from the floor and grabbed the chair in front of the monitor, swinging it into Julius's static hazed face, completely destroying the screen, leaving nothing behind but crushed glass and metal and electrical sparks. "THAT'S NOT WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!"

But there was nothing there but silence, sparks, and her own heavy breathing. She clenched her still blurry eyes shut tightly and wiped her hand over her mouth, the stomach acid making her voice raspy.

"That's not what fucking happened..."


It was perhaps the most disheartening thing Kinzie, Pierce, and Johnny saw when Matt was forced to show them the footage of the first mishap in the simulation. The room remained deathly quiet during and after it played and Matt looked down at the floor in silent frustration. He didn't want to tell them. Didn't want to show them. But her wellbeing outweighed her need for secrecy, so Matt broke and did what he needed to. He looked up to see everyone else's reactions and knew he had done the right thing when he saw mixes of worry, confusion, shock, and something else he wasn't quite sure of. Johnny kept his reactions at a minimum but actually seeing the tape still caused him to flinch. Absolutely nothing at first and suddenly, she's got a six shooter to her head and is halfway through pulling the trigger. Pierce held a hand over his mouth and for once, had nothing to say. His normal aura of perpetual sunshine was replaced by uneven waves of shock and some panic. That wasn't the Boss. There was no way that that was the Boss. But it was. He watched himself get out of the car and leave the simulation. Pierce remembered that day. He asked if she was alright and she told him she was fine but he knew that was a lie and assumed the Boss had a good reason for keeping it to herself.

"Why the hell didn't you show this to us?!" Kinzie suddenly yelled, interrupting the quiet. Matt flinched and sighed.

"Because...she asked me not to", he frowned.

"This is OBVIOUSLY something we needed to see!" Pierce yelled and Matt growled lightly.

"Which is why I made it a point to record it when I noticed her just sitting there! I knew something was wrong when she didn't move from that spot, I just...didn't know it would be something like this", he said as he leaned his head in his hands. Kinzie frowned for a minute before sighing and hesitantly putting a hand on Matt's shoulder. He turned to her, seeing the conflicted look on her face.

"You meant well. And you thought to have it on file in case something like this happened, so...you still did good, Matt. We aren't mad at you. You were put in a difficult position between your loyalty to the Boss and your concern for her wellbeing. It's...okay", she struggled to say. It was well known that being comforting wasn't Kinzie's strong suit, but she had gotten better at it over the years and what she had just said to Matt was perhaps the most comforting thing to ever come out of her mouth, especially towards him. It definitely shocked Pierce, who threw his eyebrows up at the situation. Matt let out a half hearted version of his normal cocky smirk.

"Of course I made sure to put it on file. Why wouldn't I?" he said, trying to shift the cold mood in the room back to a more lighthearted one. Kinzie returned a smirk and raised an eyebrow.

"Because even though you put everything on file, you forget to make sure they're secure sometimes", she responded, causing Matt's face to flush and his eyes to widen.

"Why you-"

"Back to more important shit", Johnny cut in, "I know this looks crazy and believe me, it fuckin' is, but there's still more to it than what's going on in the video".

"What do you mean?" Kinzie asked. Now, Johnny was stuck. The Boss trusted him more than anyone and told him everything in confidence and because of that, he was now in the same position Matt was in not even 3 minutes ago. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the stack of crates across from the couch, mulling over his thoughts.

"Johnny", Pierce piped in, "I know how tight you and the Boss are. I know how much you guys care for each other. And I know you've never been the type to just spill other people's business like it's nothing. But right now, we need to know what's goin' on if we're gonna make it a point to help her. This time, she can't do this shit on her own, even if she tries to tell us she can. She needs us. She needs you, Johnny". If there was ever a moment Johnny wanted to desperately punch Pierce in the mouth, it would be now. Because damn it all to hell, the bastard was right again. Sometimes, he wished they were all a bunch of new bloods that were just now being canonized so he had an excuse to just deck them in the head, but they weren't. They were smart and they were there for the Boss when he couldn't be, so they had certain levels of his respect right off the bat. And now, they were just waiting on his word.

They were waiting on his decision.

But the decision would have to wait as they heard speedy yet heavy steps coming towards the cargo bay followed by the door sliding open, revealing Zinjai.

"Zinjai? What are you doin' here?" Pierce asked. He nervously wrung his hands as he looked at them, worry on his face.

"I'm sorry to intrude upon you all, but I believe something may be wrong with our ruler". Johnny immediately stood straight from his position and stepped closer.

"What's wrong with the Boss?" he more demanded than asked. Zinjai shrunk back and Johnny took a breath and backed up, letting Pierce talk to him.

"Relax, man. We ain't gonna hurt you but we need to know what's up", he said, putting Zinjai at ease.

"Well, on my way back up to the main bridge to see if the navigators had found a planet of possible inhabitants for you, I heard a strange noise, as if something had fallen, so I went to investigate the source of the sound when I suddenly heard a loud scream followed by a louder crash. It was coming from the hall where our ruler's favorite room is. I went down the hall to see if she was in need of assistance but she wouldn't answer. Outside of the door was what appeared to be a wadded up tarp possibly containing broken equipment and what smelled like vomit. I couldn't open the door but I did confirm she was still conscious when she responded with 'go away'. Something appeared to be wrong and I felt it necessary to inform you in particular", he said, looking at Johnny, "as you seem to be the one more often at her side". They all traded looks and the tension was back in the room. Pierce pat Zinjai's shoulder.

"You did good, Zinjai. We'll take care of the rest", Pierce said. Zinjai bowed and left the ship, leaving the four Saints in the room to decide what to do next.

"Kinzie, Matt. You two tap into the ship's security footage. Find what was going on and record what's happening now", Johnny said. "Pierce, you're comin' with me". Nobody objected or even questioned Johnny's orders as he and Pierce made their way out of the cargo bay.

"Where we goin', Johnny?"

"To open that fuckin' door"


Boss: So, yea. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, though it is shorter than my other ones but I don't wanna do too much here and then, have nothing left for later. Please review.

Thank you.